I did not have any sexual partners before my husband and I were married. He was and is my one and only. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

I have never had sex with anyone but my wife. That helped me to remain faithful when our marriage sucked, because it helped me remember how important that act is, even though the curiosity was a temptation. Yet, I had to keep my distance from a female friend who had never been with anyone but her H - she was curious. Similar experiences affect different people different ways. <p>My wife's pre-marital sex with other men definitely played a place in her affair. Another woman or man could have the opposite experience - it could help keep them faithful.<p>Lost, your husband is in real trouble, and I have no clue as to how to help him. Smedes has written a good book on forgiveness, which might be useful. You, however, are in just as much trouble for accepting his judgements. This is an echo of your behavior as a teen (not expressing your own opinions and thoughts). If your teen experiences made you appreciate him more, who is your H to get inside your head and tell you otherwise? Understanding and validating somone's feelings is not the same as accepting them and making them your own.

I hope things get better for you. Since so much time has past since he discovered your diaries.. Hopefully he is putting his efforts towards your marriage now and not your "younger" years.. <p>Comparing WHO we are Today to WHO we were as Teenagers or young Adults.. really isn't THAT important.. Today and who we have in our lives is what's important. Oh the stories I could tell about my "younger" years [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] But, I won't go into that here.. saving that for MYSELF when I'm old and gray and want a good laugh [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>just for the Record, My H was practically a virgin when I married him.. me on the other hand, well, let's just say I was "experienced".<p>[ June 02, 2002: Message edited by: Midnite706 ]</p>