Today was day 1 of a 3 part series on Dr.Phil, titled, "Anatomy of a Divorce". It is showing the dirty ins and outs of a couple (John and Amy) with 2 young children, going through a D.

Dr.Phil is going to attempt to help them smooth things over, to keep the bickering over minute things at bay (e.g. the H wants 1/2 of the W's tupperware, but has no use for them; he also hid one of her favourite - and most expensive - pieces of jewelry, so that it would continue to be a marital asset... the W can't control her LBing, especially in front of the kids, etc).

I'm already siding with the W. My stbxH was/is a very calm and serene guy on the outside... but was/is EXTREMELY sneaky and conniving, and plays dirty; underhandedly.

What did you all think of it?

I'm hoping to learn more through this series, to help me in my healing path through my D. I have another case conference coming up soon, and just in case the ex does show up, I need to work on being the better me.

I tell you, watching those 2 on tv bickering back and forth, and getting way off track of the important issues (primarily; what's best for the kids), really put things into perspective for me.

I like to think that I'm making all of my decisions for the best interest of the kids... but sometimes, I wonder if some things were more of emotional reactions to circumstances or events.

Oh... I'm the one getting off track here now. LOL.

Does anyone have any comments to make or add regarding that show? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Karen

Our MC said that "Emotions cloud logic" and that everyone's "6 year old self takes over".
It sounds like that's what you saw.
People know how they should act, they just want to behave like children, they even feel justified in acting like children. I deserve to attack you because . . .

I don't think watching this would have helped me in my D. I think I needed to experience the steps on my own pace. I had a DSG to help, and to calm me, but I still needed to experience it.

I did all I could to minimize the impact on the children, and continue to read and learn to aid in their (and my) emotional growth through rainbows, counseling, and books.
Good Luck.

*I* thought W was just a first-class B****!!!

Maybe I was mistaken in my view.........
Dr. Phil says he's "taken a side" in this thing, and it will be interesting to hear him tell which side and hopefully he will tell WHY.

My WW sent me an email to check out Dr. Phils website and said that he has had a lot of good information this week about the way parents deal with their D and the affects on their children. I looked it up and went to "Advice for Parents Who are Divorcing". I copied and sent back to her the first paragraph:

Although Dr. Phil doesn't think unhappy couples should stay together for the children, he does believe that Americans turn to divorce too quickly. "I don't think you're ready to get a divorce unless and until you can look at yourself in the mirror and know that you have explored every avenue available to you in an effort to rehabilitate the relationship," says Dr. Phil.

I told her I couldn't get past this to see what his advice is as I do not feel that we have done this yet. She has tunnel vision and can't see anything but DV as the key to a better life.

newly: 6 yrs old sounds about right. I was definitely "there" at the early stages of this ending of the M process. I'm not sure if watching this short series will help me through my D stuff either... but it's not hurting me any to watch it... so far! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> I left my H back in November 2002, and filed for D in January 2003... and although the D isn't finalized yet, b/c of legal issues that were in the way, it has still been a long enough time for me that I am not getting triggers from the series.


lupolady: Oh, I agree that the W was being unreasonable... but as Dr.Phil said at the end of the show, everyone has different personality traits, and react differently to different situations. I don't agree with the W's choice of outbursts, however, I can easily see how she was coerced into those actions (ie the hidden taping of her bickering, while the H, who knew it was recording, stayed calm and serene to "look good". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> SO MUCH like my ex! GRR!).

deafjeff: The more you read Dr.Phil's information on infidelity and M, the more you'll see how close the information works alongside Dr.Harley. The only big difference I have seen (that I recall) is that Dr.Phil doesn't think that people who know about A's should expose them to the BS's. And good for you for not seeing past Dr.Phil's belief on earning a D... if your W is a big enough Dr.Phil fan, then maybe she'll "get it" one day too.

Karen