This post has really come full circle, beer, cats, blondes, now men. Where will it go next? You have me going to bed chuckling to myself.

By the way, even though I have two cats, as a quite intelligent, natural blonde I am fully capable of ordering my own beers thank you! You guys are awful!

Take care and God bless!
K

Did you hear about the blonde who gave his cat a bath?
He still hasn't gotten all the hair off his tongue. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
Both are completely empty from the neck up. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


The Blonde Cowboy
A sheriff in a small town walked out in the street and saw a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots.

So the sheriff arrested him for indecent exposure. As he was locking him up he asked "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

The Cowboy said, "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asked me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did.

"We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt, .... so I did....

"Then she pulled off her skirt and asked me to pull off my pants... so I did...

"Then she pulled off her panties and asked me to pull off my shorts... So I did...

"Then she got on the bed, looked at me kind of funny and said, Now go to town cowboy....

"So here I am!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


The Blonde Cowgirl
One day a blonde was horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started going too fast and bouncing out of control. The blonde tried with all her might to hang on, but soon was thrown off.

With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse would not stop or even slow down.

Just as the blonde was about to give up hope and was losing consciousness... The K-Mart manager came out and unplugged the horse
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ June 04, 2004, 03:47 AM: Message edited by: Drucilla ]</small>

I am a blonde.

I have 3 cats, but only 2 toilets. How do I get the third cat clean?

Sunrise, I have two cats, three toilets and I was a blond, so I can answer authoritatively on this one. You carefully lock the other bathroom up. Or you get another cat. Your choice.

If you are running a hotel, you just keep an unaltered female cat around, like the Algonquin does.

oops. I really was blonde. I got it all backwards I see….

The other cat clean…. I dunno. Put in a new bathroom? Or just add a toilet?

I'll bash both parties here, so be patient:
==========================================================================================
Republican Convention agenda

New York, NY: 2004

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner.

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2 "Corporations: The government of the future"

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 "Trees: The real cause of forest fires"

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare.

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3 "Education: a drain on our nation's economy"

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists: The dangerous
new cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

11:35 PM Blame Bill Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

==========================================================================================

2004 Democratic National Committee Convention - Official Program
6:00pm - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:00pm - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
6:30pm - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:55pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm - Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:25pm - Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45pm - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)
9:30pm - * Intermission *
10:00pm - Posting the Iraqi colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10pm - Re-enactment of Kerry’s fake medal toss.
10:20pm - Cameo by Dean ’Yeeearrrrrrrg!’
10:30pm - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm - Pledge of allegiance to the United Nations
11:00pm - Multiple gay marriage cermony (threesomes, mixed and same sex).
11:15PM - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30pm - ’Free Saddam’ pep rally.
11:59PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00pm - Nomination of democratic candidate.

==========================================================================================