Hi K-

I hope you had a good weekend. Mine was pretty nice although the weather didn't cooperate on the 4th. We did however get to do some boating and had not only a lot of alone time, but some great time with friends as well.

The kids seemed to have a good weekend as well. They were bummed about missing a few of the things we could've done, but enjoyed the fireworks. Their dad who always wants them so much couldn't wait to hand them off this morning. It's like which is it? Do you want them or not?

My youngest had decided she wasn't going to go with her dad Saturday morning and we spent the better part of the short time I had with them that morning calming her down. When my XH and the wife arrived to pick them up she broke down again. My XH and his wife were like what's wrong. I responded I wasn't sure what the exact problem was, but she was having a hard time that morning when all of a sudden my almost six year old chimes in, "Mom, you know what's wrong. She doesn't want to go with Dad and OW." From the mouths of babes. They both just stood there and I tried to change the subject.

On another note. I found out that my BF who has high blood pressure and hyper tension was told by his doctor that he needs to make some lifestyle changes soon. I am very worried about him, but also can't help but wonder what God has planned and I keep thiking that this is a sign.

How was your weekend? Did your girls have fun?

Talk to you soon.

Take care and God bless!
K

Hi Still,
Glad to hear from you again.

Sounds like you had a good weekend despite the start of it with your little one. It must be hard for a baby, to understand all of this.
At least the older ones can understand to look forward to something such as fireworks. Being so little, they just don't always understand.
Hope she made out okay in while you were away.

Boating sounds fun! And glad you got together with friends.
I hope all will be well with your BF. That is a scarey thing. Maybe it's time for him to back off work a little, gets some management help. Cut back on the stress. God is working, you have to trust that!

I had a slight run in with X-MIL this weekend. She was in town visiting her son (XH).
Of course, she always has to come by and nib in on my life.
She was kind of a pushy person during our marriage. Very bossy you could say.
She came in my house yesterday, and told me, she would like for me and the girls to come stay with her.
I after 18 years of being married to her son, spoke up for myself. I told her I would not be able to do that, but the girls are welcome to come. I told her it is no longer the same.
She being a strict Christian, has back my X the whole time through this whole ordeal. Even with him living with OW, she thinks it wonderful!
It would be so awkward for me to go there, and I think it would be just as awkward for the family to have me there.
Anyway, it didn't feel good standing up to her, but at last, I did it.

My weekend was quiet!
I have been reading the book, Mars/Venus.
You had a wonderful suggestion there. There are a few chapters that apply to me. I have highlighted them, and have gone over them.

I did cave last night though. I called the guy I had been dating. During this time of total separation from him, I'm finding how much he has meant to me.
I do love him, and gosh does he love me. I mean, this man loves me.
I was married all that time, and my X never romanced me the way this guy does.
Just a kind man.
We spent a couple of hours together.
I feel I still need time to myself, and he seems to be accepting of this.
I don't know where we are headed, but I feel like I'm seeing my weaknesses.
I orginally thought my stresses were my whole end of my marriage type stuff. Now that I have been alone, I feel it's not really that anymore.
I feel like I have moved on from X, but it's something more internal for me.
Like, I have trouble giving love to a man.
Weird, but I think it's true.
I have thought about it so much, and I think it stems from my childhood.
I had no relationship with my father, and he has been out of my life since I was 12.
Anyway,
I'm doing a lot of thinking.
Some weird part of me wants to try dating. Like to prove to myself that this guy is as great as I know he is.
While, this other part of me says, you have a great guy, why in the world would you want to do the fake dating thing.

Guess I have some issues to work through.
I don't have any plans of seeing him again anytime soon. My plan is still to step back, and evaluate myself some more. I have found though, that being alone is awful! When the girls are away, it is pretty quiet here.

The girls did have a nice 4th by the way. Thank you for asking.

Take care. Hope your BF gets his BP under control.

K.

Hi K-

I'm glad you had a good weekend. I'm glad it went well for your daughters as well.

I know it must have been hard for you with your XMIL. Mine to wanted to have an ongoing relationship with me and I did have a strong relationship with her and my XH's entire family. Even in the beginning they would invite me over, but we could never mention my then WH, the separation, then divorce, etc. It was awkward to say the least, but I did it for the kids. Then as time went on they fell more into the things happen, we have to move on, kind of category and it got really hard to deal with. My XMIL once said to me, "You know, I really wanted to hate OW, but she really is good to XH and the kids. I think it is time to move on." Granted, by then I had, but it hurt to hear her brush of the A so nonchalantly. Then this past fall she invited the kids and I over and my XH threw a fit which resulted in her rescinding the invite. I haven't spoken to her since. I miss what we once had, but it really was too difficult for me to handle anymore. I am glad you were able to stand up for yourself.

So you called him. That's okay. You sound like you have been doing some deep soul searching. Good for you. Don't rush things with him, but leave yourself open to the possibilities. If the problem isn't him and you can work through the issues you are finding, it really can work. He sounds like a great guy.

I know what you say about the dating thing. Sometimes I too think what it would be like to meet a bunch of fascinating people and have the attention, etc., but then I look at what I have and realize I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I'm glad you are finding the book useful. I think it makes some valid points and hope it is helping you.

It was hard to let the little one go this weekend, but it has to be and I reassured her that I would be right here waiting for her. With the circumstances of my pregnancy with her, her birth, her father's denial of her, and then refusing to take her for almost a year, we have a special bond and it is really hard to see her upset. I can't help but think he doesn't deserve a relationship with her, but she deserves a relationship with him.

WEll, I have a couple of things to get ready for tomorrow so I better go.

Take care and God bless!
K