Cosmo huh? Ironic thing is I was just reading mine and decided to check here before I run out to school to work on my classroom. I have procrastinated long enough and my time is dwindling. My BF is on a hunting trip which is wonderful as I have so much to do, but here I sit on my last weekend of summer vacation by myself and working to boot. I am going out to dinner tomorrow night with friends and that should be nice, but nothing earth shattering.

I laughed as I read your description of your XH and the trailer trash he has drawn in. Karona he sounds so much like my XH. I have so many examples of times he showed up late, brought home early, didn't care if I kept the kids, etc. I know it seems hard to believe, but it is the truth and it is why I am having such a hard time accepting that he not only has changed, but needs to have another chance. He's had plenty already.

The real difference in our stories is that my XH was pretty much the trailer trash, well at least he definately was raised on the wrong side of the tracks. He just seems to have a certain appeal to us middle class, insecure girls. Maybe that's why he can't stand me, I've come a long way and am definately not the insecure girl he met and married. I am on to him and he hates me for it. I look at the other woman and I just don't get it.

My XH comes from an extremely dysfunctional family, has a criminal history, never graduated from high school (although he has a GED), is an alcoholic (need I say more?) Then you take me, I grew up in a happy, middle class family (although my father was a perfectionist and I had some issues with his unrealistic expectations), I have three degrees including a masters, and other than a couple speeding tickets am pretty straight laced. The other woman pretty much fits the same mold. She comes from a middle class family, she has actually got really neat parents who are still happily married, she has a college degree, and she is totally straight laces (well except for the affair). Anyway it is bizarre to me the coincedences between the two of us. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of differences especially in appearances, we are pretty much as opposite as you can get. Personality is a biggee too as she is very uptight and intense whereas I am generally laid back. A neighbor girl was over today and I was talking with the kids and goofing around. I overheard the girl tell my daughter how "cool" I was. She is going to be in fifth grade and she went on to say, "It would be awesome to be in her class." Anyway, my kids know who the boss is, but I pride myself on being a hip mom and I can tell you I am a lot more hip then their stepmom who is twelve years younger than I.

Well, I could go on and on, especially since I know that ending this means getting to work, but I better go. Enjoy your magazine, your time is coming!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hey again Still~~
Well now, we are just a couple of women in the know! Both with our Cosmo's!! Too Funny! And big Friday nights to boot!

Hey, I'm waiting for your last words, "my time will come". It won't be too soon.

And how about you, I'm impressed, 3 degrees. That is wonderful. You should feel pretty good about that accomplishment, and deservingly so!

I know you can match my stories, and more probably, without even trying.
Another thing X does that really twists my shorts is....
Many times, after he has picked the girls up, they pop back in an hour later, or a few hours later.
This is the girls home, and they are always welcome, but at the same time, I feel like he doesn't respect my time.
I don't know if he is trying to see what I'm doing or what the deal is.
It ticks me off!

That's my gripe of the night, can you tell he did this again, tonight??

Well, confession time!
I have to tell someone.
This is huge for me...
I went to a online dating site. Put in my info, excluding pic.
I'm 41, they have given me a dating range of men from 37 to 54.
So far I have had two matchs! Can you guess how old??? Yup 53 and 50! Now, is that pathetic?
I'm sorry, but that 5 number is too close to 6. I'm not there!
I'm not real fond of this idea because I feel like a person could lie out their butt, and could possibly be a real fake.
I have to say though, when the two came in it was exciting.
It was almost as if someone were interested in me, and that was a pick me up! (for a moment).

Enjoy your dinner tomorrow. Sounds like fun.
A friend of mine did offer me to go out with her/ her boyfriend, and another couple. I think I will opt out. I did that last weekend. It's appreciated, but not fun to be the 5th wheel.

You sound like a lot of fun to be around. I bet your X hates that too!!

As for my X's choice. I can say her and I are pretty opposite. I'm deep brunette she is very dirty blonde.
I'm tall, she's not.
She smokes, I don't.
She's skanky, I'm not.
well, the list can go on and on.
anyway, to be opposite is almost more understanding then to be more alike. Strange!!

Take care, talk to you again.
K.

Good morning Karona-

I was going to respond last night, but time got away from me. Unfortunately some of my closest teacher friends had the same thinking as me and headed to school Friday night so lets suffice it to say I didn't get near what I had hoped to accomplish done. When I got home I just vegged. I can honestly say I did nothing that required effort.

I won't even get started on the comparisons of our XH's because there are so many. Actually it is scarey as I see what you write. I can once again relate to the dropping by with the kids on your time. Mine would do the same, sometimes he would simply bring them home early saying they wanted to come home so he thought it was best. Our time is limited and I do feel that they don't respect it.

I remember one time shortly after we divorced. I spent an evening running errands, cleaning the house, etc. While cleaning I had lit a bunch of candles, but a little bit before the kids were to arrive home (The XH had his license at the time and the bimbo was off at school) I blew them out. Well they came home and barging in with him. Once the kids left the room we were in he said, "Well, I see you've had company."
I replied asking what he was talking about and he said, "Don't play innocent with me, the house is spotless, you're all done up (I wasn't, I'd worked all day and had spent the evening cleaning), and it smells like a sex shop in here." I was like whatever, but he continued, "Besides you've got that look on your face that makes it obvious you just got ----!" I simply replied, "Life does go on." He stormed out the door not even saying good bye to the kids. They of course were like where did Dad go, oh you cleaned the house, and have you been burning candles? It was awesome because it was all about perception. I'll tell you though for the next week or so he showed up early or unexpectedly as if hoping to catch me.

Anyway, enough for my story telling, it is very offensive to see the lack of respect they have for our time. To this day I still deal with it, although not as blatantly as I used to or as you are doing now. What I deal with is if I need to adjust schedules, am early or late, it is a major offense, but if he does the same it is no big deal. Even on his new schedule proposal on his overnight shift which I have problems to start with he has himself taking them Tues, Wed, and Thurs.nights and then giving them to me Friday night only to get them back Saturday morning for the rest of the weekend. I mean come on, nothing like wanting to take them away from me the whole week and still interrupt my free weekend as well. It is such a control thing. UGHHHHHH!

I am really impressed with your nerve girl! Internet stuff is something I have never been brave enough to try. I have lurked a bit to see what's around for my area, but it's always scarey. On the other hand I have a cousin in Chicago that met her now live in boyfriend on line and she swears by it. It will be interesting to see what feedback you get here on your other thread as I know people here have done it. It would be nice if you could get Peachy to chime in. I miss her. I hear your concerns though as I think it would be so easy to lie and misrepresent yourself online. Good luck!

How exciting to see the matches. That must be fun. I hear you on the older men thing. It has been my own experience that when out with friends I have attracted a lot of men who are ten to fifteen years older than I. In our group they seem to be drawn to me. Granted it's not like there have been tons, but enough to make it stand out. My friends always tease that it's because I'm a blonde bomber, but I don't know.

So what are you doing with the rest of your weekend? I get to go back to school, walk the dog, and mow the lawn before going to dinner. Dinner should be nice. My friend is recently divorced so we can relate to a lot of the crap. I hear you on the fifth wheel thing. I have two close friends whom I do a lot with. We also do a lot with their husbands, both whom I really love. They never treat me like a fifth wheel and are constantly asking me to come on couple things even when my BF can't make it, but it just feels weird. However, if it gets you out and about go for it. Make sure you do more than dinner though, go somewhere where there is dancing, etc. Being single with two couples may draw attention to you and Mr. Right may be watching.

Talk to you later.

Take care and God bless!
K

Oh Still~~

You had me laughing so hard with your story about the candles! He must have been so jealous! I think it's GREAT!!!!
I love it!
I like candles too! Yankee are my favorite!

Please share any info you get from your cousin!
I admit, I'm scared to try this, but the thought of meeting men at bars doesn't really appeal to me much either.
I'm not against a few drinks, and a good time, but I think the bar thing is risky too!

So, your headed back to school again today. Yuck!
It's so muggy here today. I went for my walk this morning, the air is so stiff.
Oh the lawn, now isn't that a fun job?
Actually, when I lived in our home, my yard was my pride.
I live in a rental house now, so the pride just isn't there. There are many things I would like to do, but it's hard when it's not your own.
And then theres the, why put money into this when it's not my own.

Thats nice that your friends include you the way you say.
This friend that invited me tonight is the dancer!
She has got confidence that doesn't stop!
She will be with her BF, but, when she gets going the men watch her. I feel invisible!
I'm not jealous really. I have seen her leave a bar with a couple of different guys upon just meeting them, and that is NOT me!

Have a good day.
I appreciate you reply on my other thread.
I'll be honest, I was afraid to read what you were going to say.
I respect you, and your thoughts.
I appreciate your support!

We have got to get ourselves email accounts to share. I would give you the one I have, but I haven't decided if I want to put it on here.

Talk to you soon.
K.

Good morning Karona-

I haven't skipped town, my weekend just got nuts. Dinner Saturday turned into an all nighter as my friend convinced me to head downtown afterwards and then met someone. She wanted to get to know him better so I ended up being her getting to know him chaperone. He actually seemed really nice and I do know some things about him so it will be nice if it works for her. Needless to say though I got home at dawn and am definately not used to that.

Yesterday was hectic filled with a trip out of town to visit Grandma and a sick friend. Then it was back to the classroom. Alas, I will say that I will be ready by Thursday.

I do have more to write, but am in a hurry to get to the opening day of inservice. UGH!!!!! Summer is over before it began.

I hope your weekend was wonderful and will check in later.

Take care and God bless!
K

SR, I'm jumping into this thread again. Sorry.
I checked some books and they didn't list anything on custody for someone who works shift work. I was really surprise. I think you should start a new post asking for ideas on shift work.
And list his schedule, it may make it easier for someone to come up with ideas.

My only thought is that instead of the traditional 2 week cycle, you may need to go to a 6 week cycle or monthly cycle and calculate from there. I can help if you want, but without knowing X's schedule it's hard. Think about his schedule more and try to work with it. Again, you want to show the GAL that you are flexible and considerate of the other parent's needs.

And my girls came back from vacation with dad yesterday - they had a great time, but were glad to be home. The girlfriend met them there on the weekend with her two kids! Now, should X's tell us this sort of thing or what?
My mom saw the old house yesterday. X actually spoke nicely to her and told her his business was going well. Mom couldn't wait to comment on all the work X has done on the house and how much it must've cost. He did no work while together, and must have been hiding money (self-employed). It was never "my" house and it is nicer for the girls which is good. And he finally put in a fence so the 65 lb dog is no longer on a 10 ft. leash. OK, my vent's over.

Hey Ladies~~

Newly, you are most welcome here, nothing to be sorry about. I enjoy you and Still so much.
I kind of feel like I know Still from talking to her on here and have really come to be fond of her. I'm happy for her that she has you to help guide her through this whole GAL thing.
I don't have any advice for her, because thankfully I have not experienced any of it.

I will be watching for you Still.
WOW! An all nighter. You will be feeling that at the end of the day I'm thinking.
But, it sounds like you had fun, so that's the important part.
Glad you got your room ready! I'm sure anxieties are running high for the kids in your area returning to school. Did you tell my your oldest starts middle school? Don't remember. If she is, how are her nerves??

I had a quiet weekend. Went through the Cosmo.
X popped in again on Sat night. Gotta love the guy, he's so perdictable!
They were going to have a family picture done so the girls needed clothing. I about fell off the chair over that one, Family Picture!! As if!

You both have a good day, and I'll be in touch.
I have set up an acct to use:NewKarona@aol.com
Use it if you like!

Talk to you soon.
K.

Hey Ladies~~

I need to unload, sorry its on you.

X strikes again.
Lets just say, when the hot romance was blossoming in it's fullest, and he was making the rules, he chose Thurs night visitation/overnight. Every other Tues. for 3 hours after school, and every other weekend.
Well, he has changed the TH and Tues, no biggie. (reason, when it was his weekend, that meant having them Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun, his explanation).
The past year and half, he has not kept the girls during school year. It started because he had no air cond. where he lived, and it was too hot.
Then overflow to when he moved in with Hoochie Mama.
So, now that school has began, he says, the girls are welcome to stay during the week, but I know thats not how we have been handling it.
I say back, well, I think we need to follow the parenting plan that has been set. Also, I think its good for you and the girls to have this time together. I also pointed out, and its what you had asked for in the beginning.
Well now, tomorrow is his big night. You would not beleive what an ordeal this is about school the next day. Seems the girls get up earlier than he does, and getting them to school is going to be an inconvenience. He will have to take OD, and HM will have to take YD, because they start 1/2 hour apart.
He also asked, what time do I get them to school, and whats the latest they can get there. As in, the last possible minute. What a fool!

So, question is, how do you all handle the time during the school year?
I feel like he needs to step up and be a dad, but at what cost? my kids??
I almost feel like this is too much trouble to deal with.
He makes them feel like they are an inconvenience. Then I worry I'm making them feel like that because I'm trying to enforce what has been agreed upon.

UGGHHH! You would think, something he planned out so well, and knew all the answers to (so he said)would run smoothly.

Tell me what you think.
K.

Hi ladies-

Sorry that I didn't respond yesterday, but it was nuts with back to school. Plus my son had his first soccer game last night out of town so there went the night. I can't wait to see what happens in a half an hour when I wake the kids up.

Newly-

Keep chiming in. I love hearing from you! Thanks for looking that stuff up for me. You are right, it is difficult with my X's schedule. He works in a three shift rotation
(7 am - 3 pm, 3 pm - 11 pm, and 11 pm - 7 am) that rotates weekly, working every other weekend as well. He keeps claiming that the weekend work is ending, but the last time it was to be gone in June and he's still working it. I have come up with a schedule that over a three month period averages 35%. In order to make it least disruptive to the kids it includes a couple days every month on his overnight shift. I wasn't thrilled about this, but it is the least disruptive to the kids. I also had to look at the fact that although it bothers me the kids don't seem to mind. It basically took his weekday visits on his day and overnight shift and turned them into overnights and extended his weekends. I am meeting with him in the next couple of days to review it. Wish me luck.!

I'm glad your girls had fun with their dad. It was nice of him to not inform you of the GF's involvement - so typical. My XH had the kids this weekend and worked Sunday during the day. We have right of first refusal and as always he never said boo. I only found out because I asked my son about an overdue library book that'd he'd been forgetting at his dad's. He told me that they'd returned it on the way to get dad from work. Very nice - my vent over too. They will never change. At least the kids haven't noticed it (yet)! By the way, good for your mom, saying those things and good for the dog, maybe it can slim down now!

Karona-

The weekend was nuts. Honestly my friend is recently divorced and just confirming that her XH was having an affair at the end of her marriage. Although she was happy to end the marriage when their was nobody else involved she is now reeling from the hurt and anger of betrayal. I am worried as she is driven by anger and seems out not only for revenge, but desperate to prove herself worthy. I can relate to all of the feelings, but she is just so out in the open about them. Many of her behaviors are very self destructive and I am worried that the only person she will hurt is herself.

The kids don't start school until Thursday. We have middle school orientation tonight and XH and OW have arranged to have Grandma watch the other three kids so that OW can attend as well. Wish me luck!

I hear you loud and clear on the crap your XH is pulling. Nice that he can't be inconvenienced to get up a half an hour later one day a week to be with his daughters. What a piece of work. My XH used to be the same way, however that is why he openly requested the limited time he has with the kids. I would calmly assert the importance of his time with daughters, but after that trust your gut. I know that it will limit your already limited free time, but if you want the girls with you take them. You are not responsible for establishing a relationship with their father, he is. You have done everything you can to make this work it is up to him. As long as they have you they will be alright, but if they seem really down about his lack of involvement and interest have you ever considered a counselor or divorce support group? I really feel for them, because as hard as it is to let my kids go and give my XH the bazillionth second chance, at least they feel wanted by him.

I have to run, but will be home alone tonight. The kids are spending the night at dad's house for one last summer night hurrah. Write back your thoughts and we will go from there. Hopefully newly will chime in on this as well as she is very good at it.

Have a great day!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hey Still~

I know I'm singing to the choir! I know that you have been where I'm at, and understand all too well!

I will see how tonight/tomorrow go. If it's too hard on the girls, I won't push to follow our parenting plan. Their happiness and contentment means more to me than that.
I just really makes me mad. Why does he have the right to stop being a father to these girls, and lack of responsibility?

You mentioned counseling. My oldest has been through a lot. In fact, I have had her at two different ones. And two more through school.
She is one that needs to talk. My younger doesn't feel the need to talk. And I believe she is okay.
My oldest seemed to be doing better at the end of last school year, and had stopped going. About a month ago, she did express an interest in starting again. I told her at any time she can go back. I never want her to get as sad as she was a year ago.
Her father has to pay for the appt.s (which is 10 each time)
When she told him she wanted to start going back, he told her, she didn't need it. She needs to talk to friends!
It's all about the money! He used to pay me the $$ in my alimony for her appts. As soon as she stopped going, he cut my alimony back that 10 a week!
(she was going every 2 weeks).
He has no idea what this child feels. She has been through a life changing illness, and a divorce of her parents on top of that, all at the same time.
There are times when I wonder, was I completely blind?? How in the world did he and I end up together?? I have so much compassion for our kids, and he is so flip and unfeeling.

Good luck with open house tonight. I'm so glad Honey can come. I was worried about her not being able to adjust schedules, as I'm sure you were too.
What a joke!

Take care, and I will be in touch.

K.

Hi Karona-

I just got a break and thought I'd reply. I read what you wrote and my heart feels for you. It is very hard to see your X be inconvenienced with taking the kids. It is totally unfair too that they have the luxury of parenting when they want.

First and foremost keep an eye on your girls and see how this is effecting them. Try your best to coparent and impress upon him how important he is to them and their development (not always the easiest thing to get across in the fog!)

As for the counselor, your X isn't an expert so screw him. It is in your divorce agreement that he help pay for the counseling so he needs to. Do what you need to do to enforce that. Talk to their friends - nice advice! I know I really want my kids taking their friends' advice on handling the big issues. It is so much better than a trained professional - LOL!

I simply can't wait for tonight to roll around. They are being overly friendly right now as they want this whole custody thing over with. My gut instinct is I'm getting the whole "Soften her up before we stick in the knife," routine. Oh wait, I am supposed to be working on being more open minded and trusting when it comes to the dynamic duo - OOPS!

I'll check back tonight after the big event. Hang in there!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hey Still~~

Plan change!
Both girls were afraid about him getting them to school on time, and feel more comfortable with me.
SOOO, they will be returning tonight, and not spending the night with him during the school year.
My request was then, he needs to have them every Tues and Thurs for the 3 or 4 hours.
I strongly feel he needs to help out with homework and what ever else they need.

Anyway, the girls left happy knowing they were coming home tonight.

What a life he has chosen. I can't even imagine the most special days of their lives, and he will be like a stranger to them, instead of their father.

Good luck tonight. I will be thinking of you doing time with the Wow Couple!
Let them be all nicey nice. You have your ground too!

My life is picking up a tad. I knew it would once school started.
Yesterday went to lunch with a friend.
Today, had the back to school, mom pool party.
Tonight, I'm going to a Pampered Chef party with a friend.
Tomorrow I will have lunch with my Sisters (Bible) group.
I'm trying to get a weekend plan since the girls are going with their dad again. It's my weekend, but he asked for them because it's Labor Day.
There is a festival that is a big deal here this weekend. There is one other mom that I know of that is single. Saw her today at the pool fling, and she said she would go with me. SO, YIPPEE! I'm out of the house again.

Talk to you soon.
K.

Hi Karona-

I'm glad you were able to come up with a solution that seems to work for you. Will he be willing to take them both nights? It is just so amazing how these people think. Be there for your girls. With your love and guidance they will blossom despite him and in the end he is only hurting himself.

Well the night went fine. We were cordial, but they weren't overly friendly. Being both a teacher at my kids' school and the primary parent all these years I know not only a lot of kids, but a lot of parents, and teachers. We had to hang pretty close and I honestly believe they felt uncomfortable with me saying, "Hi or whatever every two feet." Whatever! He was also mildly upset as I have always had our school office provide him with duplicates of everything, but he hadn't received the written information on tonight. There really wasn't anything I didn't tell him. Anyway, he needed to make sure that this new office was clear of our situation and that he expects to be equally involved and informed. He can be so demanding that I have many people comment on how they can see why I divorced him. It's all the insecurity and wanting to prove themselves, but it is a pain none the less!

I honestly believe that if he felt there wasn't money attached to this, meaning either he didn't have to pay support or no matter what time he spent he'd still have to pay some support that he'd back off. I have to admit I am worried about how our new settlement (if we ever get one) will impact me financially. I mean I know I will lose some support, but right now I have no idea how much. It scares me. He has also said that we will have to talk about what is reasonable to spend on the kids for various activities. Right now he pays nothing other than support, but with reduced support he will have to split various bills. I know in his mind he thinks that he will simply refuse things, but that is so unfair. We don't live extravagantly, but he has always worried about scrimping on the family to support his vices. He really doesn't care how things impact the kids - UGH!!!!


By the way, am I nuts to let the kids have some overnight time when their dad will be gone while they sleep and they will be with the OWwife? The only reason I am even considering it is that I feel schedule wise it will be far less disruptive, but I still have a concern over it. How do I deal with that? I also have to find out if we have any time to get together after a while and evaluate how things are going and make needed changes. This is so difficult!

Well, I better run. I am beat and still have some work to do. I will talk to you tomorrow.

Take care and God bless!
K

Hey Still, Just checking in with you.

How did back to school go?

We are back in to the routine at this point, I guess I could say.
Like I said, the girls are not spending the night during the week with their dad. He has agreed to having them the 2 nights. He gets them at his convenience. I think I may see if I can get him to be more prompt with that. He drives me crazy!

I have given up the idea of the online dating thing. I did mess around with it for a few days.
The people they would think were a match for me lived too far away. One guy did try to communicate with me. I got to see his pic at that point. Total Goob! That did it! I thought, I'm not going through this. I will just let be what is to be.

Reading the latests posts on here, I'm not sure I want to openly suggest anything about dating anyway.
Its getting crazy here.

I have been busy all week. The one positive about the kids going back to school is that my social life picks up.

Let me know how things are going your way when you get a chance. I know for you, right now must be crazy!

Take care,
K.

Hi Karona-

Well, today was the first day of school and I know for the two in my school it went well. I have to wait until I pick her up at her dad's later tonight to find out how the first day of middle school went for my oldest.

Other than that things are going pretty steady, although a lot busier than only a few days ago. It's not only school that picks up, it's all the running that goes with it. Between various meetings and activities, all kid centered, we haven't been home before 8:00 once this week. It is really nuts compared to the laid back, activity free days of summer.

I am meeting with my XH this weekend to try to hash out custody schedules. I felt I was leaning more and more to the being able to work this out on good terms, but now this week he has worked and left the kids with his wife without informing me (we have right of first refusaland had the new wife sign permission slips even though he is well aware that the slips needed to be signed by he or I. It never ends and in my mind just furthers my reasons for holding firm. He isn't following the rules now, am I honestly supposed to believe that will change if he gets them more?

It sounds like your social life really has picked up. Good for you. I can't imagine what it would be like to send the kids to school and then have time by myself. Sounds great and I am glad you have friends to get out and about with.

Sorry the on-line stuff isn't panning out. What you are experiencing is what I have always feared. Well that and then the real horror stories! Don't worry, when it's meant to happen it will. I hear what you say about the whole dating debate here. It's really getting kind of ugly. I honestly believe that as adults we are responsible for our own decisions right or wrong. I also personally believe that one needs to heal before entering a new relationship because with no closure you will only have problems which aren't good for you or the person you are with, however, that being said I would never feel comfortable condeming someone for dating while separated. I do believe however that if you have to log on and ask if it's okay to date while separated that whomever the person is isn't ready for if they were they wouldn't be seeking approval. Anyway, that's just my two cents.

I better run. I only have two hours until the kids come home. How is your weekend shaping up? I must admit that I would love the extra weekend to myself. I have so much to do and could use some relaxation time as well.

Talk to you soon.

Take care and God bless!
K

Good to hear from you Still~~
Glad your first day went well. I hope your middle schooler did well too!

I bet you hate that, that you didn't get to see her afterwards. That seems to be when they have the most to say. With mine it is anyway.

I don't know about the site thing.
The choices they sent me, several of the men were in their 50's.
All most all of them would have been at least 5 hours away, and I put in there within 100 or so mi.
The couple pics I did get to see, yikes! I'm not that bad off!
Lets just say, it satisfied my curiousity.

I think I will have a nice weekend.
There is a jubilee going on, that I have heard a lot about, but never have went.
I'm planning on meeting a couple moms tomorrow to do that.
This weekend there is an Italian Fest going on.
I have never been to that either. I'm going with this one other divorced mom to that.
(Can you tell I don't get out much. I have lived here 8 years, and have never been to these things).

So, yes, things are picking up a bit!
The girls will be gone this weekend with their dad. I will miss them, but I hope to keep busy.

What about you?? Do you have plans?

Sounds like your X is keeping your plate full still.
I will think of you and say a prayer for you this weekend.
Wonder why he always likes to test the waters?
Is he that dense? or does he just like to keep the pot stirred?
Do your kids know all of this is going on?
That would be tough to keep all this to yourself, when they are such a huge part of it.

I will talk to you soon.
K.

Well, I am happy to report that the first day went very well. She was extremely talkative about it and it was both fun and nerve wracking to listen to her. She had to ride the bus to her dad's and she said she knew nobody and that was freaky, but otherwise she had a great time.

The other two had great days as well, but the fourth grader was more nervous than enthusiastic as he has a tough teacher this year. She is however fair and academically I don't think you can get any sounder. I am hoping it will be a great year.

Your weekend sounds fun. I know what you mean about not getting to things even though you've been there a while. That's what happens when life happens. You also sound much more excited about getting out and doing things. This is a positive sign that you are healing and ready to take on the world.

I don't know what the weekend holds. My BF has been gone hunting for a week now, but he gets back tomorrow. I have had no contact with him, but have this aching feeling he will suggest that we come down there. Normally that would be great, especially with the long weekend, but I am just dragging and the kids just want to hang out at home so if he wants to see us he'll have to head up. However, since he's been gone a week I'm sure that work has really piled up so that combined with the amount of time he's just spent traveling will probably keep him home too. That's fine. I can see him next weekend. The weather is supposed to be nice so I am hoping we can hit the beach and I also need to get some house and school work done. Of course I also have the meeting with my XH, but I am not really looking forward to that. Part of me just wants it done, but the other part says screw this and him, these are the kids and I am not willing to sacrifice anything with them. Who knows, I just wish I knew what the right thing to do was. I have a few schedules to present, I just have to decide which direction I think is truly best for the kids.

Oh, and another thing, the OWwife trimmed the one daughter's bangs the other day. It's only been four weeks since her big haircut and her bangs weren't even close to her eyes, but whatever. I guess she didn't get my point the last time and after that I don't want her near my childrens' hair. Anyway, she cut them really crooked. We were in the car the other day when I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed how crooked they were. I told my daughter that I was going to need to shape them up as they were crooked. We ended up running out of time so it didn't get done. Yes, I let my child walk around looking like either she or one of her siblings had trimmed her bangs with a weed wacker.

Well, they spent the next night at their dad's, but when I picked them up I noticed her bangs looked even shorter, but still crooked. I asked her if they'd cut them again and she said, "Well, I took a bath and I told OW that she needed to fix my bangs. When she asked why I told her because you said they were crooked." I almost choked. You should have seen the look on my oldest's face. I though she was going to lose it. I composed myself and asked my daughter why she'd said it and she said it was because she thought they were crooked too and since it was the OW who screwed them up she thought she should fix them - from the mouths of babes!

I asked what the OW had said and she said, "OW said that if you don't like them you should cut them yourself." I said, "Oh in that case I will because they are still crooked." I was trying so hard not to laugh. Needless to say I couldn't let her go to school looking like she'd been a victim of a pair of drunken scissors so I trimmed them. I am happy to say they are finally straight, but are very short. It will be a while before we need to worry about trimming them again!

Well, I am beat and it is way past my school week bedtime. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Take care and God bless!
K

Hi Still~~

UGGHH! When will this woman stop?
What is her problem? She must think, in her pea sized brain, that you don't know when to take your child to get her hair trimmed.
When I read this, I was thinking. You should slip her hairdresser a $20! For an OOOPS, cut, or color. I guess that would be on the vindictive side. I'm kind of thinking she needs to be on the receving end of a bad haircut right about now!

Have you had your meeting yet? If so, how did it go?
My stomach turns for you.
I'm sure they think you are unreasonable.
I say this only because I know my X and his hooch think I am.
Whatever! They are all 4 legends in their own minds. Therefore, everyone else is clueless!

I did the festival thing last night.
Had a nice time with the friend I went with. We were both laughing. She has been here longer than me. She says, you should have hung on to what you had, because believe me there is nothing around here.
Being "out" in this town was an eye opener.
I have heard from a couple of moms that are/were single, that there is no one that is potential here.
Doesn't give me the warm and fuzzy feeling by any means.

Oh, I saw my YD's teacher last night while I was there.
She asked me to go with her to a seminar. The principal asked her to go, and to take a parent.
She thought of me, and that made me feel pretty good!
I have no idea what this will be about, and I'm not teacher material. Who knows what I have gotten myself into.
This is a 4th grade teacher. Any hints for me??

I hope you are doing something fun this weekend. Come back and fill me in when you have time.

Take Care,
K.

Hi Karona-

We are having a great weekend. We have been at the beach Friday after school and yesterday as well. We also went to a cookout at a friend's house. I need to get my butt out to school, but the weather is too beautiful, much better than the summer, so I am having a hard time getting to work.

I hear what you are saying about the hair cut. The funny thing is that I know her hairdresser quite well, now you've got me thinking - just kidding. My daughter looks fine now, but this is forcing me to lay down the law and take all forms of grooming away from them or shall I say her? You would think from her actions that I have them running around looking like wild haired orphans.

I'm glad you had fun at the festival. Like you, I have found a severe shortage of men here too. Although good ones do suddenly pop up on the arms of someone from time to time, but by then they're already taken. I think the key is timing, but how can you be in the right place at the right time when you have no clue where the right place is. It reminds me of Reba McIntire's current song. Someone might be right in front of you, but you just don't know it yet.
Funny thing is I find myself constantly quoting country songs and I don't even listen to country that much.

That's quite a compliment being approached by your daughter's teacher. I know from time to time we need a parental perspective to things whether it be a workshop or panel discussion, etc. and when we do we seek out parent's whom we feel are motivated, caring, involved, and on top of things. We also look for parents who we see relating well to others. Good for you!

I have yet to met with the XH yet. So far our schedules haven't met. I guess we are meeting sometime tomorrow. I hate to go, but we are getting close to the court date. My plan is to present my proposal and see what we can agree on together. If he won't go for anything I feel is reasonable I am planning to give the Guardian my proposal and reasoning for it on Tuesday and wait to hear from him. Whatever the case thanks for thinking of me.

Well, I better run. I hope your weekend is going well. Talk to you soon!

Take care and God bless!
K

Hi Still~~

The beach sounds so nice. I bet your kids are loving it!

We skipped the festival thing last night, and went to dinner instead. We went to the Outback. Love that place!
We met a couple there that are fun, and this mom invited a guy friend of hers. Soo, it was me again with the couples.
It was a fun time, good food, and good company.

Fill me in after its over with your X. I hope he can find it in his heart to be reasonable.

Enjoy the rest of your Holiday. Catch up with you again soon.
K.