Hi newly-

It is great to hear from you too. I really love chatting with all of you as you give me such valuable insight.

I am glad to hear that things are going so well for you. You deserve it. I totally relate to what you are saying about the kids. I waited four months to introduce my kids to my XBF. It is such a touchy thing. I mean on one hand you are trying to get to know this person and feel them out to see how they would be with a ready made family before you introduce the kids as you need to know where they stand, yet on the other hand you never know until you try. In the meantime attachments are being formed etc. My kids didn't mention anything last night or this morning though. Lucky for me, because it was a distance relationship, they saw him few and far between so that will help.

Keep enjoying your new relationship. I am jealous!

Take care and God bless!
K

I am very lucky in my new R. He's so nice, but then as we all know, we put our best foot forward when dating. For now, I'm enjoying the attention, admiration, affection, conversation, and in particular the honesty - and of course the _F.

I see now how inflexible X is, and BF is very flexible.

I got a call from X yesterday blasting me. Now, he never communicates with me, but totally blasted me because he said DD had frostbite and I wasn't taking good care of them. Now, girls and I went skiing for the weekend with Greengables & her girls. GG said there was no way DD would have frostbite, and it helped having another adult who saw my DD while skiing.
So I listened to X (and tried to keep from laughing) then he complained the kids coats were filthy and they looked like ragamuffins. So I finally said "I'm so glad I'm divorced from you". His Answer "I'm glad you are happy".

The whole conversation was an odd view into the bizarre thoughts of this man and his skewed priorities. He now has some bizarre food fetishes and tells the kids certain foods are poison (not kidding here).

To go from that conversation to a rational conversation with an adult was definitely a treat. I am so glad I don't live in x's rigid, skewed world any longer. Only 12.5 years until I don't need to deal with him anymore.

Hey Karona, Stillreeling, Newly and yes GIIC!

Been pretty busy around here getting ready to start new job on monday. Following your stuff and regarding new R's, dating, and xbf's.

GIIC, stick to your MB glue in your new marriage. Know it must be difficult with all that to tackle...seven is a lucky number though and you're waaaay blessed <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> As for our x's, it seems that they only give us more grief the more we seek to liberate ourselves from them...like it's not supposed to be that way. Honestly, if I were to take a gander why he's bugging you, it would be because the affair marriage is on the rocks by now...remember the affair timeline and the average "shelf life" of an affair spawned long term (or so called anyway) R or marriage? Just my .02. So wonderful to see you come back now and then!

Karona, StillReeling and Newly, hey! I would really appreciate your input on my life sitch which after reading and following a bit, is similar to the xbf sitch...my xbf has been attempting a comeback. Saw him last night. We've managed to see each other once a week now for last 3 weeks...he's been working alot, and I am getting ready to work next monday. Our issue earlier and why we broke up is b/c of non-committal issues and his freaking out b/c we were two days into a "committment" seeing only each other early last sept. We have had quite a few months apart, and I was not the one who initiated re-contact. It was him. And when we broke up earlier, we both knew that we'd not try this again unless our focus would be different...so here goes with the quagmire.

First of all, email me about last evening. Will not post about it here, well about part of it anyway. Let's just say that I ended a two point five year hiatus of something. But that happened later on in the evening. I came over to visit him after he called and asked since I was close by at my young republicans meeting, if I would come over and we'd watch some of our favorite shows, relax, talk, and have a nice bottle of wine so he could better unwind after a hell@cious day in the er. We were sitting together, cozy, watching law and order and drinking a nice glass of cab when he blurted this out during a commercial break..."I know you haven't met my trivia buddies (his closest friends and people he went to med school with)but we are probably going to vegas in may. I think this should be something you should think about." I got quizzical...I didn't know whether he was asking me if he could go to vegas with them or if he wanted me so I asked him...he said he wanted me to go with him. Then after law and order, we got around to talking about "state of the sort of union" issue. He admitted to me he was still online on the dating service, but has not really worried about it. Said that he knew I had been getting lots of hits (wonder how he knew?) and that he was not too keen on it, but still going to take a bit of time to make sure about he and I. So I ask about how long? He says that "things are falling into place whether I know it or not" with him. He admitted he's worried about my going to work at the new job...large hospital with lots of folks there and is imho...possibly thinking he could lose me for good. So we're back at similar crossroads. He is finally "thinking" again about committment. He admitted he was so happy that we were seeing each other again and that I shouldn't really worry about anything. He is honest and says what he means.

Here's the deal. We have gone thru this before. Same issue, but we communicate much better now. I am not afraid to hit the hard issues, but I don't want to scare him off. I too, am not cloistering myself off dating just him, and have a dinner date tonight with somebody else. He has no idea. I just refuse to allow myself to get let down by anybody ever again...and he is doing exactly the same. He was badly burned by a long term gf of 7 years (both were in professional school and couldn't get married...in the end, she left b/c he couldn't leave his school to follow her for her phd work). I was badly burned by darth, as you well know...losing a decade of my life. (exception being my having my son though).

Ok. thoughts? I know he's moving closer and I don't want to inadvertantly push him away by immediately now demanding something. But at same time, I am not going to stop my life either unless there is a committment. Then comes the queen mother of all issues...what happened "after" our talk. He's giving a lecture next month at his old med school and he actually felt comfortable enough last night for the first time to go over the whole powerpoint lecture so I could critique him on it. Then after that came a whole lot of high school stuff...followed by that..Let's just say...about 2.5 years of frustration is completely gone...and now that bridge has been crossed, I am a bit scared myself now about everything...such as my admitting that I really do care a whole lot about him. A whole lot. Could I see myself with him permanently? Yep. And it's freaking the heck outta me. For the first time in 10 years, I woke up somewhere other than my home. (son is visiting darth ok?). This was the wierdest feeling in the world. I could barely sleep a wink last night. I just laid there and tried to be quiet...now he on the other hand was great about the whole thing...even getting up about 2 am to go get me a glass of water (I usually keep one at my nightstand). He kinda knew I couldn't sleep so he kept trying to give me other pillows and even turned on a fan so I could try "white noise" to get to zzzz. Finally fell asleep about 4 am. Wierd. The whole thing still makes me feel wierd b/c I am not used to being with anybody other than darth or just basically being by myself.

Am absolutely terrified that I did that without a committment. Even though we've been dating on and off for almost a year now. Even more terrifying is the very thought that I think I have fallen again for him completely. I know he doesn't want to be single forever. He talked again about people at work asking my whereabouts as of yesterday..and they were basically trying to find out if we had started seeing each other again. He said he told them he's seen me and that we were talking more now that I am gone.

Yipes! Girlfriends...I am wading into unchartered waters here and I need some huge help. Hardest thing to admit is I have fallen for him again and that he could be the one...I am soooo confused. I don't want to go out tonight with this guy, he's really nice. But then again, I refuse to be sat up for disappointment in case r.r. falls through and falls short like we did last fall.

My sixth sense tells me that r.r. is really trying to figure himself out and after our talk last night, that he does in fact really care for me, but not 100 percent yet ready to commit. How long should I give this until I call time? He said and alluded that he wasn't happy when we were not seeing each other and that he screwed up when we tossed away the committment prematurely. Am I right in still being open to seeing other guys until he decides to commit?

He knows I was completely off kilter this morning as that was something completely out of my comfort zone and first time for us. He was very very sweet about things and when I left, he was leaving also for the office, he said "we need to do this right...not rush anything...and not make any old mistakes.." I am soooo confused.

Been walking around all day with the "deer in the headlights" look about me.

Please help! Ideas?

Wow! Hi all!!

It's so nice to hear from everyone.

I don't know GIIC, but she sounds like a sweet person. Glad you popped in. Sounds like you have been missed, and are still admired.

Newly,
I'm happy for you that your new guy is working out so well. Isn't the romance great! It's so wonderful to feel that special. It gives you that high school giddy feeling. One that is well deserved for you, by the sounds of your X.
I can not believe he is telling your girls crap like that. Poison food?? He must be crazy!
You poor thing. You must have sucha huge releif being away from him in daily life.
I wish you every happiness in life.
I think you are handling this new guy great as far as your children. I bet they are seeing a happier mom these days. Wonderful for you!!

Still,
I find it sad that your xbf is now trying so hard to fix the issues that were there before. But, us women do get to a point were we have had enough.
When we get there, it's so hard to come back. I feel that you are at a point in your life where you might like to have something more close to home. I echo what you tell me, you deserve the best! You are such a great person, and you deserve to be treated as such.
I'm not saying he didn't treat you well, but you deserve what your heart wants.
Sounds like you have your weekend setup pretty well. Glad for you! Enjoy your time with your friend.

JP,
Well, Well, sounds like some serious developments.
I'm guessing that while your off kilter a tad, that you are also a bit pleased!

I know you are scared, we all are. I think I'm reading that this guy is in your heart, big time!
I think you care for him more than you want to admit to yourself, but its coming across in your post.
I think you owe it to YOU to maybe give it a shot.
I know the possibility is there for you to get let down, and I don't want that for you. It sounds like the two of you are coming from the same place. You both have been hurt.
I know that letting that guard down is so hard. We feel like we have to protect our hearts, but we never get too close if we do that either.

As far as calling him. I'm hoping that you have heard from him by now. I would think that he would be calling to check on you, and I hope he has.
The other date, hmmmm, well, you have not determined that your not dating anyone else yet.
When you go, I'm sure you will have strong feelings one way or the other about it.
I'm guessing your thoughts will be with your old/new bf. I think I'm hearing that you don't want to date others, only him, but are afraid of setting yourself up for a let down.
Do you really think it would scare him off if you told him this so soon? Maybe he needs a nudge??

I will watch for your updates.
Good luck with the job this week! You will be great!

K.

Heard from the xbf for maybe five sec. this evening..went on dinner date and it went ok. Guy is great and asked for second date this weekend...nothing as for date with the xbf, as he's working a really hard schedule tomorrow in clinic (know his schedule). I don't know what to make of things and am afraid to push them completely. I know what was wrong last time, from his end and most importantly, my end. I wanted things to go my way and quickly so I pushed and asked too much when I should have been a bit more quiet. Not being passive, mind you in any way. Just have learned a little here and there, and know that pushing does nothing. I guess after all the muck and mire we waded thru, we expect a bit more than most women and want instantly things to make sense.

So far this is best update I can give. Will just wait and see and ask your opinions ok? I usually trust my judgement, but since I am too close to this issue, am getting your input ok? Thanks so much...and much love.

Okay Peachy,
I see what you are saying.

Try to be patient with him then, and see where he takes you.
Try not to close your heart off to him, and be open.

so, did you accept a second date?

Keep coming back and talking. We are here for you.

K.

Hello ladies-

As I read through this post all I could say was WOW, things have really picked up! It almost like we have our very own version of Desperate Housewives going, although the majority of us aren't wives anymore.

It is interesting to see the various stages we are all on in this roller coaster we call life.

newly- You as always handle everything so well. It is fun to hear the excitement of new love in your words. It is also funny to hear of your XH's antics. It is amazing what happens when the shoe is on the other foot! I am glad you are not letting him get to you. Your time is to valuable to waste on his antics. Plus, you are an awesome mom so you have nothing to worry about.

peachy- Wow! It seems that your life is full of changes and uncertainty right now. Good luck with the new job, we all know you will do great. As for the love stuff, you have openly admitted wanting it all, yet being afraid of being hurt again. This is very normal considering everything that Jethro put you through. I can imagine that the other night did throw you for a loop. You must be a whole mixture of emotions right now. I think you need to take things slowly, yet trust your heart. I like to see that you aren't pushing things, you are growing. As for the other dating stuff, well, keep your options open. It must be weird for you though as you rekindle this stuff with your xbh and are still seeing other people. I think the other night has probably escalated all of your emotions and feelings too, so I give you a lot of credit for keeping things in perspective. Just remember to take care of Peachy. Keep talking with us, we will let you know if we think you are doing anything you shouldn't.

Karona-

You have come to know me so well. Both of us need to trust our instincts more and accept that we do deserve the best. It may not happen overnight, but I truly believe that the best is yet to come for both of us. Thanks for all of your support!

GIIC -
I am still so pumped that you checked in. I am hoping that you check in again really soon. I miss our chats and would love to hear more about you.

To all of you wonderful women- Have a wonderful weekend. 2005 is going to be our year!

Take care and God bless!
K

StillReeling, Karona, Newly

My friends! Happy friday to you...maybe we could call ourselves "almost-desperate ex-housewives" club...could be cool.

Newly, it's awesome you're moving on and that you've gotten a new love in your life....very very cool. Just had to add it...

Still and K,
Date went well last night. He's a good guy. He's already asked for 2nd date this weekend but I am not up to it...am starting new thread @ how I am helping one of my best girlfriends out right now...seems she got dumped way outta the blue by her bf...guy we've known for a good while and also in my circle of friends. He dumped her hard and she is in the dumps...really down. Nobody could have expected this guy to do this to her. She's a schoolteacher, special ed teacher and very kind at heart. so this has really crushed her. Tonight am going out with 2 other girls and her to get her outta the dumps. Men...sometimes you wish it could be legal in certain circumstances to be a vigilante. This guy certainly qualifies.

As for xbf, he's doing the awful friday rotation today at busy office with chief partner...he's going to be worked silly today. Thank you for the suggestion to just back off and let him relax and me relax. It is freaky right now, b/c you're right...I just let it all fly out the other evening. I think just backing waaaay off is a good idea. Haven't talked to him today but left him a vmail and was about another completely different issue...about using small leather notebook vs. palm pilot..which would be faster for me to use when writing down the new procedures. And let him know my best guy friend in world (an m.d. and a guy R has already met and knows...he's cool with him) is finally interviewing today w/group in cartersville north of here and that after his interview, the managing partners of practice took him to lunch so he was really happy...Am doing the whole 180 list. Not being clingy, just happy, not showing any neediness or anything. Just being more confident than I was last time. I think that along with my ability to kinda be really absent for a long time, works. It's really tough to admit when you care about somebody. Yea, you were right about Jethro. It isn't that I was so sad and have mourned losing my xh, it's that he drug everything thru the mud and was so horrible and nasty...that's what took wind outta my sails and makes me just run sometimes. Am completely terrified of ever getting hurt or lied to ever again. I know disappointments will happen, but I will not put up with crapola any more. My tolerance threshold has significantly lowered...

How long exactly...in months per say, should I give to see where this fiasco is going? I mean, he mentioned vegas in may...that would be almost 2 mos. from now, so he's not obviously planning to disapper really soon I guess. We all need 2 get each others' emails so we can actually send photos, updates to each other . Now about the other night...I have learned something vital...I used to think x, Jethro, was good at "that"...but in the end, realized it was "me" who was good at it all along! Lmao!

Now comes the whole issue of buying cute underwear and just "having it in case"...but I am going to just try to back off and hold out until a committment happens. He did a teeny bit of cake eating last fall, and I am the one who decides to let them eat cake or not to let them eat cake a la Marie Antionette...

Guy from last night is ok. I gotta be honest here. I care for xbf, r.r. I really do.

We definitely have issues, that is the "not so desperate x housewives" club.

Hey y'all hope you don't mind if a fellow crashes your club real quick...

Peaches, as I e-mailed you this morning "What am I going to do with you?"

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by justpeachy:
<strong> Now comes the whole issue of buying cute underwear and just "having it in case"...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What's the fettish with the britches? It's like the 3rd time you've mentioned them in the not so distant past. Why don't you just go get some and wear them for YOU... And wearing what's comfortable or whatever fits your mood of the day....

Plus I do guarantee, any man I know is more interested in the present than the wrapper.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

JP, I didn't have a direct advise for you about XBF, but I've seen you jump too soon before. Take it easy and light.
About Vegas, or dating in general - I have a rule. Don't make plans with some for longer than 1/2 the time you've been dating. Now, you have history with XBF, but in my case dating less than 3 months, so can't make plans for more than 1 1/2 months.
I keep reviewing the ENs and see that I'm getting my primary ENs met (of course, some are at the top of the list which weren't there for a very long time). And there are other ENs I'm capable of meeting for myself such as financial support, domestic support, and conversation through friends.
For now, BF is meeting my needs, but later, when it's time for a committment, my needs (and expectations of a spouse) will be different. I don't expect the same of a BF and an H.
JP, think about your needs and whether you are getting what you need, and whether you think you will continue to get what you need from XBF.
I can already see that my BF is higher on the honesty, openness and listening scale than my X ever was. And I really admire these traits.

What do you admire in XBF, and why do you want to spend time with him?

I'm offline for the weekend. Going into NYC to see the Gates, and hopefully have a carriage ride around Central Park.

Newly, you rock...enjoy your lovely trip...and glad to see that he's working on your en's as well..that is cool. and the idea about waiting b/c it's not been that long (based on the rule of time of dating) is good...I will not touch the subject of las vegas for a good while now...and will say that maybe "we need a bit of time" until.

Billy, you're right. I shall purchase them for me! It does make a girl feel girlier though..keep this in mind with your wonderful fiancee...nothing makes a girl feel great than that stuff...well..flowers work too. chocolate is nice..since you're engaged now, I guess it is appropriate you can purchase these things now..lol...

I guess I am just trying to be a bit more single and daring now...and even if it means wearing my girlish stuff under my "uniform" of scrubs and lab coat (which is worn by guys in my department I work with and is basically generic for guys and girls in my line of work) that I do that for the sheer fact of just knowing I can...know that's a bit of clintonesque mentality,but hey...at least my "I can do this just because I can" isn't hurting anybody else...lol.

Oh...back to what makes me want to spend time with the xbf? I just now realized that I indeed had emotional needs...My big ones are conversation and admiration...ones which were hugely absent during marriage/sentence to jethro. R is an excellent communicator. He is also able to pick up on little things I am good at and always lets me know he thinks well of me. X used to never do that...not ever...like when R and I were reading his lecture he's giving on "altered mental status", I stopped and asked a question on a part of the brain that I had not previously learned a whole lot about during anatomy classes years and years ago...he didn't get all "ha ha I am superior to you and will talk down to you in explaining this"...He said "sweetie, you're really smart and I wouldn't expect you to know this..or even have any med school graduate know this unless they had worked in neuro for a good while ok? I didn't even learn about this until I got into neuro and that's why I am adding this in my lecture..something the new grads need to know that they don't learn about" That was his way of telling me about something I didn't know. We like same things, same music, read alot, like same kinds of wine, understand what we do and respect it, and he makes me laugh a whole lot. Plus he's cute in his little glasses...whole cute/nerdy thing going on very very well. Kinda like a shorter and cuter but not as hot as ricky martin wearing a labcoat and glasses...clark kent thing too...nerdy on surface but until you get to know him. He's never been disrespectful to me and never been rude...when we have had our differences in past, we were able to talk about them, and never had angry outbursts or said anything about the other we'd regret...guess that's why I am ok with things for now.

Hey Girls,
Like the club idea! I laughed when I saw that still wrote that.
You crack my up Still!!

I will write more later, but for now, I have a question Peach.

Your xbf (maybe nbf).
You have mentioned the brain stuff before.
Is he in neurology? My reason for asking is that my D had a brain tumor.
It's a very near and dear subject to my heart. One which I still struggle with almost daily.

I have an address you can use:NewKarona@aol.com

Good luck with cheering up your friend. She is lucky to have friends like you who care. She will do fine in time with her friends.

I agree about the undies.
I feel pretty if I know I have cute ones on. So, do it for you! Whatever makes you happy! If certain ones make you feel special, go for it!

Take Care.
K.

This thread has gotten so funny. I am cracking up reading it. The underwear stuff is so hysterical to me. I remember after my divorce when I had started dating my now XBF. Everytime someone asked how it was going I would tell them that it was going well, but I didn't need to go new underwear shopping quite yet. "Did you go underwear shopping?" became the code for how my relationship was progressing, so this is just cracking me up. In fact just recently when I told my childcare provider that I had ended things with the BF, immediately after asking how I was she asked if I had gone underwear shopping yet.

Bill, it is great to have you popping in. I think we girls could definitely use a male perspective around here! I do have to say that I agree with your comment "any man I know is more interested in the present than the wrapper.." From my experience that is so true! That said, ladies let's do it for ourselves.

I know a lady. She struggles a bit financially and is really a penny pincher, that is except for her underwear. She buys only Victoria's Secret. She says that her mom raised her to believe that what you wore underneath your clothes said a lot about how you felt about yourself and influenced your whole day. Therefore only the best would do. To this day, this woman wears only the best! Enough of this talk though!

Now I have to add that mixed in with the humor are some very valid points in this thread.

I guess with the whole dating thing the key is to establish your needs before you really dive in so you are better prepared to look for someone who will make you happy. Furthermore, by taking that personal inventory you get to know yourself a whole lot better and therefore are more prepared to not settle, etc. just because someone comes along. That said, what do we do with those dumb hormones? I think that when they kick in, we all have to potential to lose it, whether we know what we are looking for or not!

Peachy, I hope your friend is doing well. Being a teacher myself, I have to add that it is our nature to be nurturing, etc. and because of it I have seen many of us get sucked in by people like your friends XBF because of it. I mean really, look at my XH! You are a good friend. Tell her to keep her chin up, this too will pass. I have a good friend who got divorced this summer. Since then she has been on a roller coaster to prove herself loveable and desirable and has made some poor choices to do it. We have spent a lot of time together discussing life, love, wants, needs, etc. She had a rough experience Friday night with in my book a real loser. Anyhow we went to dinner last night and spent a lot of time discussing past mistakes and wants for the future. I find it very theraputic talking with her and all of you, because it always helps me put things in my own life into perspective.

And Peachy- I like newly's advice on the plans. It sounds very logical, but what else do I expect from newly. She is definitely the rational one in this bunch of "not so desperate x housewives". I think we all want more, it is just important to take our time and don't rush things. We need to enjoy life for what it is while taking care to find what we want.

newly- It sounds like you have another great weekend planned. Can't wait to hear about it.

I almost forgot. I was gone at a basketball tournament for most of the day yesterday. When I got home there was a note from a florist that I had a delivery waiting. I ran down there and sure enough, there were flowers from the XBF. Now mind you, we were together for 2 years and 9 months and not once did I ever get flowers from him. He is kicking it into overdrive, but all it is doing is driving me crazy!

Well, I better go do some work. Thanks ladies for the inspiration and fun! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Take care and God bless!
K

I bet this whole subject did have you laughing Still!

For myself, I never put much thought into the whole undy thing. I have taken pride for a long time, ever since I can remember, with that whole deal.
The reason I responded to it was because it had been mentioned more than once.
I think for me, it was instilled in me from the comments you hear while you are young. "wear nice/clean underwear in case you get in an accident" with that thought in mind, that someone may actually see them, I always took pride in that.
As you said, on to the more important issues.

You are right, It is most important to get ourselves in order, before we can expect happiness beyond ourselves.

I'm learning that these days.
I'm really trying to focus more on myself, and figure out what makes me tick. It's complicated, but necessary.

I hate that your x just now has sent you flowers. I know that that really rubs against the grain.
If he had done that all along, it would have went over much smoother.

That was something that the guy I dated had down. He was very giftful, and flowers were almost too often. I asked him to stop buying them for me. I can't imagine the money he spent on me. It made me feel guilty.

I too appreciate Bills comments. It has been nice for some others to pop in and share their comments. We can learn so much from each other. I know it has helped me!
I think about all of you while I'm here, and when I away from the site.

K.

I would like to ask my friends here to keep my oldest daughter in your prayes this week.

She will have her MRI on Thursday.

For those who don't know, she had a brain tumor 3 years ago. She has anual MRI's to be sure she is tumor free.

Thank you for your kindness.
Karona

Hi Karona-

I will keep your daughter in my prayers. She has been through so much at such a young age. I will pray for a clean check up! I will pray for her mom too as I think she is a pretty wonderful person.

I have to tell you that your undie comments cracked me up. You are a such a clean cut thing! I personally don't put a lot of thought into it. Clean and not ripped that is about it. Maybe I need to get my act together! Actually I am a pretty conservative dresser. I were jeans whenever possible and strive for comfort. Just last week I went shopping and bought a couple new tops. Anyhow, the were a bit more figure fitting and a little lower cut than I usually go for, but I figured I'd go for it. That night I went to a sporting event and wore one. I was actually feeling a bit self conscious, but a couple friends had complemented me and said I looked great. Well, at the end of the game a good male friend came up and said, "Oh my God K. You never dress like this and you look great. You should do it more often! I couldn't keep my eyes off of you!" I just laughed, but it was a nice ego boost!

I hear you about needing to find ourselves. I am really enjoying getting to focus on just me for a change. I have been thinking about what I really want out of life and I realize that I need a lot more than I had been getting.

And did I mention that guy, yes the one from the comments from above? He is just a friend, but he has been calling me quite a bit. We have actually even gone out in a big group of people and had a blast. Anyhow, I must admit he is definitely filling my need for conversation and admiration. I believe he could meet a lot of other needs too, but I am taking it slow. I am however very intrigued. He is just a really sweet, nice, and fun guy. He has been married once, has no kids, but loves them, and is interested in having a family. He is financially stable, and we have a lot in common. It is just a bit soon for me, that and the clencher. He is 9 years younger than me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Am I losing it or what? I don't know, he is definitely pursuing things and I am loving the attention and fun. I guess we will take it slowly and see what happens.

Well, my secrets have been spilled. I guess I just had to tell someone.

Have a great day!

Take care and God bless!
K

Oh Still, my stomach just did a flip-flop for you.
That is HUGE! and I'm most excited for you!

You are a wonderful person, inside and out, through and through.
I love that I have come to know you, even if it is only on the board. I feel like I have known you forever.

You go girl with the new tops! I think it's great.
And how about you being admired from across the gym? I think that's awesome, and well deserved.
I bet if your x was in the room, he noticed! And Hated it!! Haha!

I think you are wise to take it slow, but don't ignore this attention by any means.
You just never know!
HMMM, 9 years eh? Well, you know the guy I had been dating was 7 years younger.
SO, you won't get any eyebrows from me. Only high fives! How about us women! I think it's pretty great!

Please keep me tuned in on the developments here.

I'm excited for you. You deserve to enjoy all of these exciting feelings. They will make you feel special, alive, and all the other things that go with this stage.

Enjoy!
Thank you for the thoughts and prayers.
This time of year is extra hard on my nerves.
I will be glad to have it behind us.

Fondly,
K.

Hi Karona-

Thanks for the encouragement. Who knows what will happen, but you are right, it is fun. The whole age things is a bit boggling to me, however, I guess once you hit a certain age it is all relative anyway. I will keep you posted.

I think the thing that has me excited is that he is so attentive and sweet. This is something that neither my XH or XBF were. He seems truly honest and genuine about everything. He picks up on the littlest things and goes with them. On Valentine's Day he sent a dozen roses because he knew I had broken up with my boyfriend and didn't want me to be bummed about being alone. He calls just to say hi and check on how I am. It is nice to feel like someone is really into "me" and my life and not just into making me part of "them" and their life for a change!

I am keeping you in my prayers. I know this is a tough time of the year for you, but remember this too will pass and the hardest parts are all in the past.

Have a great day!

Take care and God bless!
K

K, may God bless your DD and make her healthy.

So many things have happened in our lives, and we have all learned to appreciate the small things; the friends, the smiles, and mostly our hopes and dreams. I pray your daughter will come through this, and become a stronger person.