Sea Breeze ,
I am 37 and I met my wife on match.com a little over a year ago. It has been a fairy tale ever since....

Using an online dating service means pulling your pants down and saying "I want be with someone and I haven't succeeded the traditional way".

That's like admitting you're not happy being alone.
You start out suggesting online dating is great and then change to you're a loser to do it.
Which is it?

Thanks WomanofFaith!
I don't know if you remember, but I'm the one that shares your same divorce date, and married 18 yrs also.
I have heard of Match.com, so that is very interesting info.
I think I will stay clear of that one!

Chris-CA~~
You know, I was trying to be positive about what was written there, but I really wasn't sure where they were going with it either.
Just for the record!
I'm not pulling my pants down,
and No, I don't want to be alone forever. It is lonely at home by myself when my kids go with their dad.
To a point alone time is good, but then theres too much.

Thanks for the back up!
K.

I sort of met my H on match.com. I saw his profile and figured out he was the father of one of my daughters friends. He lived 50 miles from me so I thought why not and e-mailed him. That was Oct 2001 and we have been together ever since. I enjoyed all of the people I met on the the service. I only went out on two dates including my H but I did meet and get to know alot of really nice guys.

Jill

Jilly~~
Small world eh? That's somehting.
Neat the you married your date!

Thanks for sharing!
K.

Chris-ca, Karona

What I was trying to say is online dating reveals to the world that you are looking. You can't disguise it as anything else.

Going online means admitting to yourself and someone you meet online that you are actively pursuing a relationship. It is hard enough to be honest with yourself.

I don't see it as a bad thing at all. I think it is very good actually. The problem is the perception. For men it is still publicly "taboo" to want a real longterm relationship even though that is what most men want. For women there is such a stigma about being good enough to be loved and online dating is like the last hope.

Friends of mine will joke about online dating in front of the guys, but in private they want to know how to do it.

Within days of our first date we both pulled our ads off of match.com and saved them. It's still kind of funny to talk about it, but nobody doubts the results with us.

I totally agree with the statement that if you are on an online dating site, you are saying you want a relationship. And that is HARD for me to say. I really enjoy my life, and I think my children and I are doing really well. I'm busy at grad school and raising my children, and I have good friends. I have a peace and contentment about my life that can only come from God, and I don't feel like there is a big gaping hole in my life without a partner. I almost feel like I have been given so much, why ask for trouble? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> But I would like to love and be loved again, I just have to get honest enough with myself to admit that. But admitting it doesn't change the fact that I have found it difficult not to get dates, but to get dates with quality, highly moral and spiritual men whom I find attractive. So maybe I think that I can't be disappointed if I don't try. Some of me rationalizes by saying that if it is God's will for my life to have someone it, He will make that happen without me actively seeking it. I'll stop rambling, but whoever said it is hard to admit you would like a relationship hit the nail on the head for me.

WhoamInow,

Nice post.

Whether single, married, divorced or whatever everybody tells us to be happy with who we are and I guess a lot of who we are is determined by our relationship status.

God/religion gives us the tools and direction to lead our lives. I don't believe in the expectation of intervention or that something will happen on it's own. Now I an a firm believer in divine intervention. I wouldn't be alive today otherwise.

When I met my blushing bride on match.com I had accepted that I will be single for awhile...maybe forever. That didn't stop me from trying. Finding the right person for you and sticking to your guns is important, but you might be surprised where that person will come from or what they'll be like.

I've changed an awful lot since I met my W and so has she. It has been easy. Very easy with her. Before her dating kind of sucked.

One advantage of having experienced a failed marriage is knowing when it is good and appreciating it.

SeaBreeze,

Thanks for clearing that up for me!

I didn't think you were trying to slam me, since you had sucess with the online thing.

I guess that is a feeling I have. That if I do this, I must be totally desperate!

To a point, I feel like this is a last resort for me.
I don't know why, but in my mind I just knew that I never had to try to date. I thought my friends would be setting me up.
I do have a lot of female friends, most married, and have lived here all their lives.
They all know my situation, and I just figured through them, I would meet someone.
Enough time has passed, and that is not the case.
I'm learning that if I want to meet someone, I will have to do this on my own.

The only total comfort I have with being single at this point is, not being married to someone that I have to wonder what they are doing. Are they having contact with OW, sleeping with her, secretly meeting while telling me nothing is going on. Working late, or.....Working weekends, or....
In that part, I can say I'm 100% content.
But,
I do need to feel love again. I'm not ready by any means to get married, but I would like to have someone special in my life.

Thanks again for sharing.
K~