(((Hi Stever)))

Warmest hugs--So very sorry- here--read your post-responded back with a long one-hit the reply-message said to many gralemlins-completely disappeared. I was sooo miffed----- I was just so touched by all your words, deeply moved by Vee's pain, frustration!!! Poor, poor, sad little baby sweetheart, her heart is broken beyond measure, she's exasperated-fed up--who can blame her???

Visted Vee's site! Wow, want an incredible photos, so, so touchingly sensitive. A picture paints a million words-here billions. Thank you so much for inviting me into your family world.

I loved all the sensitivity, I was just flooded with emotions, so sad this awful situation has levelled your family. I can only imagine what you went through as a couple--

What a beautiful, beautiful precious angel Vee is, what a darlhing, sweet heart, princess! She has fought such an incredible battle-fought with everything she had courage-- clear she didn't have to being so ill--poor little hands, her bruised body-- I was just in tears....

I just feel the pain, yet her courage, strength, her heart to fight through a long come back is mircale, for her family. Her love for both of you& family is unbelivable--all of your love that pulled her through!

I could feel the pain, joy.. I could feel all the love, brightness!!! Vee is so special--her eyes are so exquisitely beautiful I see why you fight so hard!!!! She just radiates like glory... What a beautiful family culture, you and your wife look so right for one another-you both make such a lovely couple!!! I was so heartbroken this mess had to happen on you!

I am so happy that you could comfort Vee'nothing like daddy arms- I am sure she is the expressive voice for the entire family.

Mommy is broken...... it hurts deeply.How do children not take this personal-- say all one wants??? Children have the discernment that LOVE DOESN"T HURT--they understand bandaids???

All she wants is life to return to NORMAL..REAL NORMAL---she so needs her hugs, cuddle times, pressed near to her mommy heart. She has been so patient- tolerant- real patient- but doesn't understand how broken mommy is.

I wonder if you were to semi boil an egg-cracked it-- she might better understand. A whole egg-- cooked properly without cracks see how wonderful it looks, feels, white, shiny, lovely tastes so delicious yellow center--compare to an damaged egg, the cracked shell, white gooply goop... blackened center taste awful...

Children are little people, human, have their limits...

Hope you can give her a big hug from me, extra special cuddle in a warm blanket, give her my kisses on her forhead, sweet little cheeks, brush her hair, wash her face with a nice warm facecloth, give her a nice cookie, from her big sister that lives close to the north pole that understands, thinks about her almost every day, prays for her, her mommy, daddy, brothers, sister. Tell her our family is broken, and my kids are hurting like she is. Were all upset...

I bet she would love watching pippy longstockings!!!!.

Oh this crazy world!!! The entire situation is such a travesty!!!! I can only imagine what has happened to your wife???

You know my girlfriend who's daughter was born severly handicapped-2 nd m- first m ended in dv, lost her 2 children permanently, married to a terrible cruel man in Greece. One of those arranged marriages, he was a mobster type-she didn't know.

Her kids were taken, vanished sent to Greece, dropped off, to be raised my the grandmother, never seen again- her x was man well connected, one just doesn't take to court. To let her kids go-was to save their lives. Her kids were not permitted to contact her until they were 18 only by telephone. Big heartbreak...

Later met a sort of nice man-married him, turned out he was quite a piece of work. They had their first child--traumatized by the sever handicap, re-traumatized all over by the orginal loss of her children, terrible marriage.

She went through a terrible period herself of a time-she shut down her heart-rejected her daughter. Depression. She has a tragic life-- But had such wonderful team of support staff under her from the hospital--worked extensively, to reopen her heart-accept her child.

A wonderful mother she is-- her husband cracked this time. We don't want to go there- split up, reconciled, connected with God- redid their vowes, hubby completely cracked again. Second child born. Couldn't work- mess. It was a brutal time-seperated again- he abandoned them to find himself.

Times were awful time, Jen needed surgery, she born without a pituatary gland, multiple problems, cleft platet, limbs problems, lived in a small town, no money, it was awful. She had gone back to school.

Later down the road there was a miracle--later down the road, I got a telephone call, from my friend telling me she/her hubby reconicled,they have moved to another province on fumes, found an extremely loving, supportive church.

Her husband received the right medical attention he needed, to treat his severe depression, ocd's problems. They had friends, needs were met in the most unimagable ways, tremendous outpouring outreach for thier whole family.

My friend is an awesome mother, brillant intelligent woman- but when she bottomed woe-slid right down the pole.

If any comfort- not that I am trying to excuse your wife's conduct- but not all women can bounce after that kind of trauma, without enornmous support. Your family has very little. I don't wish to sound caveliar here by any means.

To provide you another view, concrete example- One of the new mom's I supported yrs ago- by profession was an actual pediatric icu-nurse at the local children's hospital-same ward Kristian ended up when she was 10 days old--my memories sure came back-. This nurse worked on that ward many years before having kids.

When her second precious child was born, with serious heart condition, blind, multiple surgeries---she completely CRACKED--post partum, severly depressed, non-functioning etc...

She was such a mess- broken hearted, shattered, We both shared those intimate private moments of when when a situation happens to a person- it's hits entirely different.

She told me she really didn't understand what parents actually felt until she experinced being on the other side.

So she had the professionlism-knowledge,experince-skill sets, when adversity tragically strikes home, heart, your own child!

Sad to say she barely could make a sandwhich, the house was wild, depressing. She was exhausted beyond measure.

She couldn't even have a nurse come in a check in with them. Plagued with doubts, fears, how would she be judged, gossip, slander among her peers, friends!

Professional peer circles, especially can be so ruthless, cruel, because it was all about the image, keeping up appearances.

Very fragile situation--we got through it-- after reviving her, daughter, her wits end husband come home to a bright orderly home, meal preped in the frig, wife, children taken care of-happy, civility.

Anyways, things improved greatly. I was so overjoyed to receive a lovely card, family photo of them doing just great- They hit a big valley skids-they were hurting and locked up. Who wouldn't be???

You know many professionals are most often the most hurting& terrible position--worst off- be cause they must keep everything hidden, errect a facade, great internal pressure is extraordinary, the stigma, status their position-- their peers, expect more perfection. The disgrace, shame, they hide behind is terrible.

So in response to your question- just my personal thoughts- It is so clear you are a real family man have a backbone! I rejoice in my spirit! Praise God you are so strong& have those morals, values. I look at the photos and see whole lot of love, goodness.

I look at the word of God- he is so clear about the three things that breaks the bonds of marriage.

1)Desertion, by an unbeliver who cannot tolerate your faith, God says let them depart in peace, 2)adultery 3) death.

The adultery part is a grey area. There are many hughes of greys. Grey area between the person& GOD.

God is himself divorced father-broke relations, communication with Isarel His wife for 400 hundred yrs gap- God takes His hands off. Broken heart? He understands-has limits.

Malachi- to Matthew. Still to this day- keeps he's "covenant" that He will be restored to HIS Wife in due time...

God hates divorce as he desires to see the couple one- desires Godly offspring. Dreadful impact on the children and spouses...Regulates it-- MERCY sort of protection to the innocent parties from being harmed greater. Knows the rippling reprecussions to the children down the road.

Divorce is not a command but an option. So if the injured, betrayed partner cannot get over it- dv--they commit no sin. If the partner chooses to reconcile they commit no sin.

God knows adultery betrayal wound is so serious, hedious. He knows that every person may not recover from the betrayal or have the capacity. The gentle grey areas.

Why there is no sin committed if one chooses to divorce. They are free! Joseph had the right to cancel marriage with Mary?

Contrary to modern pop pyschology-there is also a pyschology behind the pyschology.

I have read that in order to deal with the deep severity, damage done, often some blame assigning is done to the injured party-to begin a process of recovery foster forgiveness.

There are indeed spouses that do things to completely fracture a relationship with out blame- some spouses that do terrible cruel things to one another. Complex.

This is what God position takes. He does not hold both parties accountable. Adultery is cleary destestable serious in God eyes. Yet-forgivable.

Look at King David--- yet God in his sin forgives him-provides great grace because of sin-permits the union with bathsheba- adverse consequences.

Yet, because of David heart he convicts him, convene's with him-telling him He would provided David with more concubines, but why with Bath, murder he committed to have her husband wasted.

The book of Hosea is an unique book of exception. Poor Hosea-

Stever have you read OT Malachi-- 2-10-17 ?
Of course we have Corinthians 7--the entire chapter is pretty clear...

So having survived two of my xh affairs- the heavy blows- his seemingly sincere repentance I did for give him--open my heart- Took a while, I was one hurting unit-didn't exactly want to be married to him feel so deprived-- resentment of him wanting to reconcile...

However, since you have your children with your wife, especially taken Vee into consideration. She is the children mother.

I would not jump to divorce to easily- before she received good medical,professional support, martial counceling. Then a seperation agreement, before filing.

I feel that a person under great duress is really not in their right mind to make life altering decisions.

I would want to know in my heart, for the sake of my children I did all I could to make daddy better. I have a very clear conscience& no regrets in that depart. I have located all the support I could. My kids know that.

Because in a sense I am rejecting a part of them. It 's tough--Lord it hurts--my xh knew the word of God pretty well- When I told him he was acting as unbeliver-he claimed his unbeliver rights to hold on to me- then with his quasi, howling tears of repentance, became the beliver demands that his repentance meant I had to stay with him, forgive him. eerrrkkk.

Then he hurts us all over again.

I kind like the old carpentar's motto- measure three times before cutting.

I know it hurts, it hurts, hurts, big time. I would suggest working closely with your family doctor, about your wife problems. Learn all about pstd- post partum depresssion.

I would suggest contacting by telephone the S A center-- letting the councelors help support you. I really enjoyed your telling your wife about getting a six bedroom house! Good for you! I am sorry that her heart is so out of whack.

I am sure if you had a good pastor to be counceled from, she wouldn't be pulling the stunts she is. Secular counciling often is counter position has very little weight, authority like the word of God.

Secular counciling well basically is quite weak, encourages one to be indiviual find one self. All about the self. Jesus Christ tells turn our eyes on HIM, deny the self!!!

I don't know with a sick children, I think dropping the career shouldn't even be an issue. I have dropped jobs, or what ever when it was upsetting my kids, or xh. YOur children need their mom--- she is thier mother so I think all that can be done to restore this woman should be done so. I don't think she has the right to be so disrepectfull.

I think of another couple in the faith- had they had proper intervention by the church-- matthew 18 properly applied, that marriage/family would have be restored.

Her bible thumping husband was out of order, in him physcially hurting her. She did art work-called her a child of the devil. She was such a sweet honey of person- devoted to him, church.

He needed help from the men in the church- He had no right to do that. She went crazy-- women were telling her to put up with the abuse because Jesus suffered on the cross-so should she. Well she one day snapped turned around had an affair with a maintance man- church turned a blind eye.

My friends, I tried to reach out-get this couple help. The hubby was furious. Well next she is pregnant with second child. Hubby get violent with her.

The seperate. She meets the guy down stairs, cokaine dealer who is so nice to her, unlike her cruel, hard hearted husband, has another affair with him, 10 days after giving birth-gets pregnant-aborts the baby.

She is in the church and no one says boo- about their arrangement, other if her boyfriend can volunteer in ministry. Then they end up together, have two kids to gether. He is dealing, they go to church break up.

She ends up having an affair with her bestfriend in the church husband- no big deal again. Re-hooks up with this other guy. Ends up dv him- gives up her little boy for adoption,keeps 3 kids, and all the kids are present at this holy adoption. Later on moves to other churches, has more affairs. Goes to church- hits on some else husband. Blind eye--

Reason I am telling you- is that she was gang rapped at the age16-- never told anyone about it. Came out yrs later. Blocked it all out. The traumas of abuse from her husband, these guys just relived out the sexual abuse!!! Has she stoped NOPE!!! She used to be such a lovely person.

As for dropping by for a cup of sugar---well I would be as your good neighbor, having the same values--meet you outside, sitting on my front steps, with a giant laundry basket filled with sugar, coffee, tea, a cooked turkey, a roast,potatoes, bread, pie, cake, cookies, orange juice, coupons, kite, balloons, bubble pens, coloring books, care bears!!! lol just as I do with all my other friends.

All my kids friends spent lots of days chillin at our house-- we all just open up talk about almost everything.

Drugs, alchol experince why's what was going on??? boyfriends problems, girlfriends problems, pain from their parents, hurts, fears, aspirations, school, sa, why they hate life, depression, suicuide, religion, marriage, careers, politics, music, philosphy, comparative relgions, future, GOD, JC, bible, etc..

Lots of laughing and lots of crying goes on around here at the table. Lots of boxes of tissues.

Sometimes the kids just hang out for a long time. Till they get sorted out. Stuff they would never tell their parents, stuff their parents would give them the time of day or fairing hearing...

So being "open" is pretty normal, part of life- I am so pleased you felt safe enough to share your journey, hurts...

As for astrologlical signs-well I gave that all up when I became a christian. Changed signs if you know what I mean.

Never felt I fit into my sign to limited box in----- but I am a christmas baby, born on christmas day...

So joy, good will, peace good tidings is what I am all about- I too, get crabby when I am hurt, retreat- think we all do when we are very sensitive people.

Kool--- about your skydiving 5 times? Wow that's so wonderful! I wish I would had the oppournity. I definately would have loved to do that.

I just attune to it in my spirit can feel every sensation almost.

My adventures were riding motorcycles, traveling. Married, had a babies quite young. My handle name means GOD takes me to pretty high places, life experinces-- drops me into diving deep for souls for GOD-snatching out of the fire.

I would love for you if you have the time to share all your adventures??? Tell me more!!! You sound you have lived such incredible interesting life!!!! I understand if your time is limited as you hands, life is so full!

It's been really crazy, intense, hectic around here- Soo sorry I ran out of juice to re-write... My car isn't working again--, think my fuel pump has gone-my alternator, doing some troubles shooting. Had my mom over several times.

I was so frustrated this morning, dropped everything, went for a big walk to day-

Mom has been here all day left-a 1/2 hr ago. She gets pretty lonely-- even though she has a great support system.

Thankyou for asking about my daughter- she is much better. Caught it just in time- on meds doing good. Loves being married. Hubby won't let her cook- does all the cooking- They are still deeply & happily in love.

My son-has come along wayyyyy, doing great at school.Deeply hurting over his dad, lots of hurts lack of hs dad compassion.

Wishing he had the right mentors in his life male models. He' extremely gifted, extremely sensitive, beyond his years. So keeping up to him is a challenge.

He's pretty mad at me that I burned out--got ill-- He is so used to me always being the strong one, throughout his entire life no matter what was going on, double back bone! Having to tell him people run out of gas!

People do break... I just fortunate my mind didn't crack. I almost did- I never had just a jolt go through my system. xh got me when I was overworked, chronic exhaustion, caring for him for 2 yrs with chronic back pain.

I can recall--when nightmare hit our house- to get help for myself, thought was I losing it, needed clearance, check in with a councelor ask if I was having a nervous breakdown, perception problems, miscommunication problems spinning the entire situation,red flags-- The councelor told me to trust my instincts- my response was instincts are still no subsitute for hard evidence-or bearing a false witness.


Thing was the c said if I was having a nervous breakdown-the person is totally unaware not in possession of their lack of faculities.

I can handle a lot pressure, tension, work extremely hard. But when one is up against a brood of vipers... xh is and has him self surrounded with--I was dealing with an extremely trecherous person/s--very, very dirty.

One can only stand in a snake pit for so long- to protect my fragile family has taken alot to stand up to.

My son is deeply angry at me for marrying my x in the first place. Now wants me to get out there and get a phd-make life all better again-how it really was supposed to be. I just laugh at him. Oh is he angry...

As for keeping my kids in christian private school. Of what I know now? My kids know me so well. I wouldn't put my kids in cps or public. Unless they really wanted to. If I had support I would home school all the way through high school. Homeschooling was the way to go. Unique, experince. We had so much fun! Learned so much.

My son Zack-in gr 7 was doing high school english lit, social studies. He need that brain freedom.

So nice if we were doing a poetry assignment- have the freedom to pick up, spur of the inspiration, visit a park in middle of winter, on a snowy day, feeding birds from the palms of our hands, on bench, gazing at the frozen pond, reciting his poems outloud to get the precise experince, expression, the feel, listening to our classical music on walkman's on a frozen river, snowflakes falling.

School was to limiting. Sitting in a desk all day-hard on the nerves---

Or studing forsenic sciences, law- doing mock criminal trials at the court house, etc... wild gourmet cooking classes, visiting art gallerys or some artist.

Our Fridays, were foreign film video's days, studying children from around the world, their cultures, geography, lots of popcorn, blankets.

My children know we would have travelled the world. As I see the world as great big classroom to be discovered, explored. Books only go so far. 4 walls a bit confining. HS not for everyone-thinks what works best for that child.

Stever--- I love Mark Twain saying-"I never let school, get in the way of my education"! My motto lol...

Christian schools can be great-wayyy to much money. Depends on the needs of the child, family too!!! Some kids do fantastic in public school-- it's all so unique, complex...

I am pleased to know your children have had good support from their teachers. Makes such a difference!

I am delighted your just writing-- this is so good healthy for you--frees up your brain!!!!

Stever----otherwise-- Repression, suppression, depression,causes severe oppression.

Would be so wonderful if you could just get away to a men's retreat! Refreshing, I think it's so healthy for men as women!

Men's seem to be cast they cannot be human, persons-hold it all in-!!!
As as much as we love, adore our children, we all need ADULT conversation, interaction, then more to give-- we all run out of gas-- if we work, carry the loads--we do need to refuel, lighten our loads otherwise...

Running out of gas-- well then the weight of the world is really on one's shoulders. Pretty easy for the lights out thoughts to enter one's mind. God designed us to be interconneted, networked.

I feel when moms' and dads' love each other, put God first, their relationship next-- take time out, nourish the relationship, they really make for excellent parents.

It's becomes putting the kids first. Everyone needs time outs kids from their parents! The loss of the extended family has crippled a lot of families.

We have a funny saying in the floral business. Old florists never die-we just make other arragements!lol

I loved& adored seeing Vee's album! Thankyou sooo much for sharing on the deepest heart levels. Your an awesome heartbeat dad! Awesome family!!!

Awesome prayers for your wife-demonic realm- I have prayed the same for my xh---sad my xh has gone over completely.

I hope your pastor will come around, support you- your wife, family! I loved Vee with the daisies! Your an awesome photographer!!!

If if he doesn't know how-- due to lack of experince or understanding. There is a terrific church that would be pleased to assist him-link up-helps pastors, tremendous resourses!

Your situation is so complex--- I think with the right help support for the entire family! God could be free to work HIS WONDERS!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My love to you all! Balloons of hugs-- yes you can put all the bouquets in vases! Cool thing about invisable flowers is they last forever, fit anywhere! More bouquets your way!!!

You have alot of great energy!! Your children are so blessed!!!Warmest Cheers!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Stever--

Thinking about Miss'Vee's- loss of balance??? Wondering if you have plastic two toned slinky around the house?

Useful tool to assist with balancing- 3-5 minutes couple x-day up/down hand motion fixed on the slinky- can assist with bi-lateral brain functioning. Trauma based recovery excerises, frustration.

Right, left reflexes, like walking, typing, mopping, marching, jumping, etc-- helps with the synapses impass release--(the junction of two nuerons across which a nerve impulse passes.)

Baroque Music- Mozart,Bach, Shurbert, Brahms also used as stimulation therapy to improve bi-laternal brain hemisphere function- used for learning retention, movement-improve morale.

World class obstretrician Dr. Michael Odent
Trauma-birth-women- One of those nice intelligent people WHO understands-has the keys to unjam things. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Primalhealth research in UK.
www.birthworks.com


Hugs!!!

Stever, knock, knock, Me yet again.

Wondering tossing this idea around-if your family circumstances could be presented to a review board-usually very nice intelligent people on these boards-would appreciate viewing Veroncia's photo album.

If you get no where on a local desk level, supervisor-taking it up another level?? Perhaps, the pastor could work with you advocate add some weight in your family corner???

It's tough for anyone to problem solve, emeshed, weighed down under emotions, turmoil, crisis situation.

Hope your having a wonderful day! Yes, definately we all be in heaven-I'm sure God will have us clustered close by at His grand celebration, in HIS HOLY City to come! lol

Can you imagine the non stop chitter, chatter exchange or just harping away-seems we just have the gift of the gab! lol...

Everything happens for a reason!! Lol...As for floating on a lofty cloud somewhere- hummmm! I enjoy that thought! Totally, edible perfered, like whip cream- what if GOD really does that? I really scream! YAHOO!!!

Well much better than when cold vapor gas gets in your eyes---Ummmm--thinking on Heaven!

Think the entire action will be happening at the GRANDEST PARTY of the universe!

Definate pleasure for me to share, pass along the info if it helps. Take what is useful, bypass what isn't, or save later until things settle down! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Relax, take er rite easy--hope your able to take some quiet time just for YOU!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Keep looking down! lol---!Hugs, smiles--- <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stever, knock, knock, Me yet again.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"hey, it's my fav Skydiver friend,, come on in dear!!"

Spent last night working on a homework project with Vee. SHe had to make a Christmas stocking. Teacher sent home a stocking on some thin cardboard,,, anyhow went to the store picked out some Christmas fabric, a teddy bear, a pine branch,with a small (pink) present on it, and some other decorations,,,

Glued some bells on string, with them dangling down- a red and gold bow was added, then we took sticker letters and spelled out her name, then we added a pic of Vee sort of like in the stocking with the cancy canes, and teddy bear,,,lined the top portion with soem snowy looking beads,, it was soo cool and pretty, femine style pretty.

Her teacher told Vee it is soo beautiful!!!

I also sent a box of 100 small candy canes to go along with the stocking, so those around could help themself to a candy cane.

My step-son was finally permited to spend the week-end with me,,, he was so excited/happy with that!!! My oldest, T.J. amd myself worked on building a tree fort in the woods,, pretty neat, and we sure enoyed.

Then SUnday eve while W was here, i left her quite bothered at me. Just before she left, i again asked for CS. LAter on the phone she informed me that earlier i had left her excited,, then when i requested CS, i let her down --as usual?? And that thats all i'm good for,,..??????

She claimed i let her down from Fridays conversation, she commented "find a 6 BDRM house,," when i asked for confirmation, and when she said no,, anyhow Sunday T.J, said dad, tell her you found a house,,, when i stated that, W asked "how you going to pay for it."

Over the phoen she was trying to tell me she was excited for that thought,,(house) and then as usual i let her down,,??


"""Wondering tossing this idea around-if your family circumstances could be presented to a review board-usually very nice intelligent people on these boards-would appreciate viewing Veroncia's photo album."""

What/how/ where do i add the link for her site? Shoot, if anybody wants to visit ,, thats wonderful. right? Besides, in my opinion, i think it may have potential of maybe helping someone else,,??????????

What i mean by that,, knowing that everyone does have their story,,, yet after they realize/learn that some has stronger, worse, better, or whatever may apply, they may aquire the thoughts/possibility of walking away more at ease, just from learning about some other families trials tribulations, and whatever.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you get no where on a local desk level, supervisor-taking it up another level?? Perhaps, the pastor could work with you advocate add some weight in your family corner???</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">not sure what you wanted me to heare with this,, but it apparently skipped over my head,,, i'm not getting it??


***Can you imagine the non stop chitter, chatter exchange or just harping away-seems we just have the gift of the gab! lol...***

i must agree! lol

****Everything happens for a reason!! Lol...As for floating on a lofty cloud somewhere- hummmm! I enjoy that thought! Totally, edible perfered, like whip cream- what if GOD really does that? I really scream! YAHOO!!!****

know thats an exciting wonderful thought?? and , if God raeally did do that, and if you screamed,, i'm sure i'd be there making a joyful sound as well,, lol

Quite time,,, i'm sort of taking that right now,, talking/typing to you. On week-ends when my children are gone,, i'm about as bored stiff.


Wal Mart gave Vee a free eye exam this afternoon, they are giving her a new pair of glasses,,!! She's pretty excited. yes, Praise God, she did need them,, she has outgrown her old prescription. The doc said i really should consider her having the surgery to fix her muscle control. After Jan. i'll know more about this,,,

"Finally" spoke to (can't remember her exact title) but she handled my CS case from the FOC (Friend of the Court) SHe informed me that my W's lawyer filed to close the CS case back in MArch??? SHe said it's not closed, but it's not open as well. There are no arrearages, and nothing pending,,, I explained the situation, so she's sending me a petition to sign, so she can review the case?????????????????

I really need to run,, my Miss gabby buddy-ette.

make it a glorious one, filled with Gods love.
hugs to ya, and good nite.

Jesus is the reason,,

<small>[ November 30, 2004, 09:33 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door! A again-Stever.. lol--your priceless--lol soon you will have peace!

Awe- impressively, wonderful to hear about Vee's Christmas stocking project you two built-- You went out&and did all that?

Very lovely your description sounds so beautiful- you went all out. All decked out! Nice touch pops-sounds like you both had fun??? You score A+++ on your parent report card. Kool!

I bet that meant the world to her and made her feel sooo much better, lots of candies to share! Alright! Fantastic news about Vee's eye exam, eye glasses!

You have quite the creative flair- can see that touch in Vee's photos!

Wow! Building a tree house fort-- how Kool is that? Could anything be more wonderful to have ones own hide away!

The kids are going to be thrilled. Look out for those racoons that run off with birdhouses. lol..

Sounds like your wife has made a sort of shift-re-opening her heart-- so she found the idea of getting a larger home appealing??? That is an interestingly new development.

I wanted to let you know checked out two other sites you might be interested might fit...topic...

United Way in Michigan----worth contacting.

www.uway.hwmi.org


The children miracle network...

www.cmn.org

Appeal boards-wonder if inquiring at the services-or contacting the Gov office- They might be very helpful in navigating right persons,address the realities of 5 W...

Going crossed eyed yet with all the websites, data, overload???? Just when you thought you would be bored, miserable. Ha!---lol...

Zone out time, have an excellent, terrific day exploring! I wonder what good can find it's way???

Jesus is so our reason! Amen brother!!! Later...zzzzzzzz!

you do know you're terrific-- don't you!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I only have time to say "Good morning."

have a fabulous day,, catch up with you this evening.

stever

Stever, the real sky diver! lol

You are most generous with your kind words, & very charming!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I think your pretty terrific yourself!

Your kind greetings means alot to me-so far having a great morning. On my morning long walk,talk, prayers with God! I especially lifted all of you,wife, family up in prayer.

I prayed that God would bless you with work, or help you to free the wheels, to enterprise a company would belong to GOD, or provide means to evacuacate your entire whole family out of the area.

To an area,state where you could all be plugged in to a strong functioning church, where you& your wife would be upheld, properly spiritually fed, blessed children nutured.

Appears your area is demographically challenged-lacks strong industry&commerce opporunities.

All of sudden these thoughts were impressed on my mind in this order. Not sure why??? Here goes!

Thoughts came to mind. My former exchange director,friend in MN-stillwater-former tv talk show producer, now stay home mom 2 cherubs, writes, publishes children books. Hubby sole operator runs a highly humming small landscaping company, winter does snow removal. Earns $75,+

Walking past new neighbors place-Hubby, wife, son operation. Very nice outgoing couple! Noticed their landscaping truck, they do extremely great business. Rent out, set up hottubs-$100+.

One of my other friends husband/wife team- do tree prunning service- when business is good generate $100+ . One truck, chipper, placed ad in the yellow pages, flyers.

Another brother friend started a commerial/residential fencing co- wife is handicapped. Moved from an area of no work to the city. Business given, blessed by God-generates $100+


Next impressed on my heart here-- is being plugged into a strong link of a church. I presuming you have evangeligcal belief.

Not sure if you have heard of Pastor John Mac Aurthur outstanding radio broadcasts called Grace to you, excellent tapes, cd resources minstries !
Especially, excellent series on marriage, divorce. Fullfilled family!

Resolves the problems biblically in a hour but especially known for their benevolent care minstries!

He appeared on Larry King-particapted in some great debates..

Wonderful truth they are so highly friendly & approachable!!!-on an indiviual level--- and work with churches, pastors to get on track, etc-perhaps work along side with your church, pastors in linking- to unclear the log jam!!!

You may want to pray about this contact them! Dr. Phil has some great things to say but an entirely different system. God's system, His way works best! Their church ministries, marriage, family ministries, support, resourses are OUTSTANDINGly, FANTASTIC!

Pray-take a flyin leap of faith, present entire your circumstances-what they would advise???

www.gracechurch.org

www.gty.org


Yes, looking forward to hearing from you brother later. Have an excellent, wonderfully blessed day!

So if your a the real skydiver-- does this mean I am having now an idenity crisis. Then again sky diving comes in many forms- Risk to jump- hold GOD's hand, rip, free falling through out it all.

Though just like in real life, sometimes land in wrong places, get suspended, landings aren't always smooth.

Sometimes, when we are injured, entangled in lifes tree jungle called life, it takes a whole team to unravel, cut the cords of bondage, regain our footing, dare risk to jump again. lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Regain a heavenly prespective-- of looking down on mission impossible- With our Lord Jesus everything is heavenly possible! FAITH--

His Grace, peace is with us& for us!

Lots of love,hugs!

Blessings!!!

Hey Stever,

Wanted to share a nice poem for you--since you live so close to the forest, building that tree fort for your kids-winter is upon us!

By *Robert Frost* Snowy Woods.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village thought. He will not see me stopping here to watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer to stop without a farmhouse near. Between the woods and frozen lake the darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake to ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound is the sweep of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep; but I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.

Hello to you - you wonderful person you.


You are most generous with your kind words, & very charming!!!
I think your pretty terrific yourself!

you do know this too is - your fault.
Would you believe me if i were to say, that you bring it out in me? I never knew how to be nice, until I met you,, ;-)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your kind greetings means alot to me-</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This i do like hearing.

***I prayed that God would bless you with work, or help you to free the wheels, to enterprise a company would belong to GOD, or provide means to evacuacate your entire whole family out of the area.***

Looks like i need to brainstorm,, and do some serious praying. I must say this (thought) sounds appealing,,??


Prior to neeting my W, i was self-employed. Not to long ago my W apparently made a comment to my 16yd- that if i were to pursue my business back again,,,,, that she would work on us, and she would also help me??

WHen i asked her about this, she denied ever saying this,,?????

The other day while talking to W over phone, she commented that she was getting tired of her job,,
she to was self-employed when i met her. She ran a daycare, with her mom.


I presuming you have evangeligcal belief.

oh oh.. now it's time that some of my ignorance will be permitted,, I'm really not sure if i even knoiw what evangelical really means,? The church we're currently attending has something about evangelical,, I'm aware that there are so many different forms of belief, and churches as well.

I just know i'm a believer, and i do have faith.


***Not sure if you have heard of Pastor John Mac Aurthur outstanding radio broadcasts called Grace to you, excellent tapes, cd resources minstries !
Especially, excellent series on marriage, divorce. Fullfilled family!***

not 100% sure, but i'm almost sure i've listened to him,? Although if it's who i'm thinking, it's been at least 2 years .

Especially, excellent series on marriage, divorce. Fullfilled family!

now with this in mind, i'd most definately want to listen to what he has to say.


this is sort of funny- you mentioning Dr. Phil, i discussed this with W a few months ago, trying to ghet her intertested in going on the Dr. Phil show.
Yes, Gods system is the *only* way to go.

had a long day today, didn't get home til 8p.m.

***So if your a the real skydiver-- does this mean I am having now an idenity crisis. Then again sky diving comes in many forms- Risk to jump- hold GOD's hand, rip, free falling through out it all.***
hmmm, let's see, thinking, thinking,,, nope, no idenity crisis, i searched and searched, realized/remembered i'm that 25 cent armchair person. rofl Just keep on holding hands dear,,



Obviously i didn't allow for my smooth landing huh? :-) i really was devastated. Still am to some extent, ??

***Sometimes, when we are injured, entangled in lifes tree jungle called life, it takes a whole team to unravel, cut the cords of bondage, regain our footing, dare risk to jump again. lol ***


Regain a heavenly prespective-- of looking down on mission impossible- With our Lord Jesus everything is heavenly possible! FAITH--

His Grace, peace is with us& for us!

as i'm heading out for the night, i have this etched in thoughts.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lots of love,hugs!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i held on a little longer/tighter embrace with this hug Sky. the love, only left a smile from within.

Blessings!!!


that poem, real sweet of you Sky,. a special "thank you," i enjoyed.

prayers my dear, and of course those warm/special hugs.

stever

tomorrow i have a short day at work, so i'll visit the links you sent,,

"good nite."


Ciel, je suis sincère, je pense votre aimer et la plupart de dame
merveilleuse. De tout à fait quelques manières, à une profondeur,
je suis dans la crainte. Vous avez été une bénédiction, Dieu
envoyé vous ma manière. Pour une raison.

<small>[ December 02, 2004, 06:36 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Dear brother,

As always you bring a smile of kind encouragement! I smile because I can see God is making you better each day that goes by-

[QUOTE] Would you believe me if i were to say, that you bring it out in me? I never knew how to be nice, until I met you,, ;-)
quote:

Now brother your really rollerblading on real thin ice!1!! lol... Whoah-grab the hand rails-find the brakes, it's going to be a slippery slope ride. Let's just stop, drop, roll now! lol

I clearly see your very,very cheeky-for a guy that's out on the ice, wasn't "nice" until NOW-- lol...

What!!!!!! Let's freeze frame your statement bud??
YOU VE NEVER WERE NICE BEFORE UNTIL NOW!!!!

Man-- you must be JOKIN, what have you been smokin, frying in the cast iron pan?? lol

This is very serious infraction dude-haven't been nice before?

Woah--like do you have some BIG explannnin & confessin to do, Ricardo??? lol

Like where have ya been man? Like who's gotta a hold of your operating manuel??? lol!

And like who's been making your Taco's lately? lol!

Like what donut shop are you dunking those donuts at??? Really what I want to know who's been mixing your party ice!

Oh but wait, right, right. Yes, I seeeee "nice" now just whizzing down the freeway with out your driver's license? And ya, hummmm, that's some artic glacier expedition you been floating on???Man-stever you gotta get a grip here & get your bic lighter back!!! lol...

Being nice is a good thang!

Sooooo now it's now my fault--well in that case, I simply exit stage right- choose door number 2 on that one?? But then again three klicks still gets me to kansas! Maybe Festus will get me outta dodge! Hopefully, the lone ranger still makes house calls!

Like Stever, if being nice is new to you , man you've gotta alot of work & stitchin to do before you chek out of MB hospital. lol!!-

Like for starters, how about trash heap those grateful dead, jimmy hendrix, Ozzy Ozborne albums you've got stashed!

Sooo you want to play the blame game do you??? What bowling alley lane level are we headed now? Oooops, watch out here come those darn flyin monkey's again? Hold on, looks like the tin man, get again in the shins!!! lol...

OKKKKK- I'll be nice now!!!

Prior to neeting my W, i was self-employed. Not to long ago my W apparently made a comment to my 16yd- that if i were to pursue my business back again,,,,, that she would work on us, and she would also help me??

Excellent, encouraging, NICE news! HOPE!A good thing! Love hearing that one!! Awesome you tried the self-employed route! You sound like your pro-active, have a good idea of what works.

My girlfriend called me today- wanting to the self employed route- gave her a brochure website site to check out, I was sent awhile back.

IHA- Independant Homeworkers Alliance.
www.homeworkers.org

WHen i asked her about this, she denied ever saying this,,?????

Maybe all apart of the post trauma--anmensia! I don't doubt she said those things. God could do amazing things yet!


The other day while talking to W over phone, she commented that she was getting tired of her job,, .

Maybe or maybe not that's good sign?? God only knows?

If she ran a daycare prior with her mom, etc. Maybe she really hit burnout& acted out foolishly... Who's knows you both seem to be very extremely creative people. I get that solid feel from Miss Vee's photo album...


evangelical really means,?
Basically what you already discribed--add-actively spreading the good news.

Please hope you will not take offense here. Sounds like you have spent a great deal of your life energies in difficult survival, traumas--had little time to rest, be spiritual fed, have study time, ...

But then again on the flip side there are those who had little trauma exposure within life's framework, no hard survival issues, fed spiritully well, attend lots of bible studies,that still have little faith in Jesus, and don't get it! Still in another far away dark land.

[B]The church we're currently attending has something about evangelical,, I'm aware that there are so many different forms of belief, and churches as well .

Yes, there are so many expressions of faith, many people belong to main stream. So didn't want to step on your toes, or boundries. God spirit is everywhere, and his children are in almost every denomination& outside the four walls too. His people that make the church.

[B]Re-Pastor Mac Arthur-- yes excellent series on marriage, divorce studies-covered again in the Fullfilled family! Check on their websites, or broadcast times in your area you will know!

I also love listening to Dr. J. Vernon Mc Gee! Back to the Bible program. Bible Bus- takes a line, by line 5 yr study scriptural approach. I like his simple, clear and kind mannerisms.

Departed brother now but incredible bible broadcast ministry! Two ministries that helped me considerly during my exhaustive spiritual search.


Can you imagine the request to Dr. Phil show? Must be in the millions.

Yes, Gods system is the *only* way to go.
Lots of good common sense advice out there-loads of systems that cause confusion. But only God system truly works, He has the POWER---backing Him, is the TRUTH, promises to guide us in TRUTH!

I am sorry to hear you had a long day yesterday

Sounds like you need some good rest, have you wounds tended to, peace.

I know I have tossed out alot of info overload, takes awhile to process, shift, read through, pray about, determine if truly applicable to you& your situation.

The reader digest version really is helpful in processing the bits& pits.Especially, during all this trauma, complications, sad pain that jams the brain, causes a brain drain. This I know!!!
It can really interfer with our creative expressions to free flow... causing pain jam!

***hmmm, let's see, thinking, thinking,,, nope, no idenity crisis, i searched and searched, realized/remembered i'm that 25 cent armchair person. rofl Just keep on holding hands dear,,

Your pretty funny! rofl-- let's keep on praying the best we can do!


Obviously i didn't allow for my smooth landing huh? :-)

Sometimes as we try our best angling to get a smooth landings. There just went a soft touchdown seems near. Those opposing forces can really make things more difficult adding harsh severe winds that push us down on our faces.

I have been there so many times. Praise God He has picked me up so many, many times! Never imagined I would take such a "face dive" like this before.

Glad you enjoyed the poem, such a classic, so encouraging. I feel the weariness, strain in that poem, push, promise to go forward-miles yet to go. One step at a time.

Blessing for your received prayers, warm hugs. Mb here seems were surrounded by a giant collective hug all the time- That's a good thing. We are so all in need of a giant transfution of Christ love, compassionate care!

Look at what we have all endured. Just think lots of folks here dish out mega hugs all the time. See were going to get better!

Wait till you get the hugs from Tossed Wave, Belle, CJnewfaithful-did I get that right? Laura-lee when ever she gets back??? Highflight-is always super generous with hugs. Then there is lost husband-- known to dispense some good hugs when he isn't being so naughty all the time remembers his manners.

I don't think anyone here has OD-on mega hugs here! It's now your time,turn--look how much you difficult your entire situation is!!! Think we're all pretty likeable around here-as you are, and appreciated for you, and your caring compassion.

Imagine what you'll be like when your healed& wounds are mended? Awesome! Look out world! Just at low point for you right now!! Look how kind you have been! Putting up with Me miss gabby!lol

I just didn't want u to fall a sleep in deep pain! But your doing humming job making me laugh and cared for to!!!

I really enjoyed your sharing about your poetry, sending it to Canada- I imagine you must write very beautifully, sensitively! Hopefully, you share a bit with us on the board!!!

Just you wait God will be having you write more, more, and getting you playin your guitar in such a healing spirit. He is going you use in a powerful way!!!

Blessing, warmest armload balloons,bouquets, prayers called hugs for you!

Stever--- alright??? I am lost now in the linguistic jungle? I can make some of it out- as usual your are being genuinely kind$ sincere self. I am blessed.

Didn't notice any shut up's ! lol.. This is a good thing. Yes, I am deeply touched in my heart, by your thoughtfulness. Especially, since you were so tired!!!!!

I can tell you must be very exhausted-- so I will let you rest, relax, peace out--take all the need time you need to go through all the stuff!!!

Time for R/R== Best RX is ever-sleep in Jesus palm, close to His heart!!!

Ressssssttttt-relaxxxxxxxxxxxxx--recoverrrrrrrrr-
Have a marvelous son spun,fun, shine on kind of day! OKKKKKKKK& BE NICE!!!!

Warmest Hugs,lots of smiles hoping for Nice things to happen, lots of GOD's surprises!!!

In the pie skies--Sky

Hi Stever,

Not sure how my reply thread ended up on Smilin post???? Finished writing to you-pressed the add reply & somehow it leapfrogged. I understand???Anyways, I will let the moderator know.

Hope I haven't offened you in any way??? I am surprised.

Take care& have great day!

Warmest hugs!

Hi Sky,

i can assure you- i'm not offended. I don't truly understand why oyu were concerned, so i'll just say, thanks for the concern, it's touching.

With the poetry/song thing to Canada, i had shared some more to that, then decided against- i went back and deleted (what was suppose to be all of that subject)

I'm no poet, nor am i a song writer,the poetry i wrote, had no ryhme, it was just sad & painful thoughts/feelings. I think i still have the notebooks of this,(not really sure) i do know i no longer have them in the computer, due to the crashing of my Dell.

One thing i also deleted- not to sure if i've shared this with you prior?? Back during the time when i began allowing certain thoughts, i turned those certain thoughts inot writing, instead of the act.

I began thinking about suicide, i seriously gave it a lot of thought, the oinly thing was- i was able to leave it at a thought, w/o actually "feeling" that thought- to the truest extent. I turned that into some form of poetry, beginning with "what would life be, if i now knew life not to be,,, what would life be for me, if i no longer existed, in the life that was me,,

somewhere my thoughts contained thougths of my children, as i continued to write. Days later while re-reading, i sensed my own pain- to the depth that it was,, eventually i realized what that would have done to my children,,,

Besides, taking life over anybody, is p-lain ridiculous, and ignorant,,

there, i just allowed a certain risk, and shared a portion of this afterall.

I'm wondering, can't you seriously tell, i'm no writer? My grammar is so broken, my english, well- i never did so great in that class,, lol

children are saying, "dad, i'm hungry." currently we have those mother hubbard cupboards talking,, so it's off to the store i go,,

T.T.F.N.
take care, (((((hugs)))))
stever

Hi Stever,

Your so sweet-good hearted. I am concerned as your just "starting" to share-takes some people awhile to feel "comfortable" sharing,building up process- we all have our own armor safe guards- installed for good reason. Risks.

It's not so easy to open up, sometimes it's plain common sense that it is not to wise to share with persons who don't understand-or have way to much excess baggage that they forgot what humaneness is or just plain nasty folks?

Actually for me to share on a forum board is different-I never have done so in my life. Never been on a chat before-this is ultra exception, other than my previous work with exchange. Or researching- I tend to get so zoned, like a lazer beam.

Though every member or person on my program that I connected with is one a very geniune close level. Used to writing long reports (with no typos's love that spell check). My brain has to travel at high speeds.

Writing, sharing here is actually a break for my mind-everyone sharing, journies actually at as scan for my mind, heart to soak in data, of the places that are broken, damaged, need repairing or don't.

I do so feel very comfortable sharing with you, as your very down to earth and a very, genuine sensitive person. Your a real person- who has weathered many tempestuous storms in your life. Only God really knows what it truly feels like living in your skin and endured. You strike me as very strong courageous person.

I imagine, occupying a man body-is that pride, good pride- but being constantly in a position economic instablity- sick special needs children in not being able to properly provide in the way you want to-do all you could for your family- would be so defeating, discouraging. I can understand.

There is a deep pleasure is so deep with decent good hearted men knowing their families are well looked after.

I can tell that you love life so much, and your family so much, the pain you feel must hurts so deep into your core, spirit more than anyone can imagine.

Outside forces, surviving in Man world, all that pecking order jazz, can easily makes one feel like a failure-zero--alot of pressure to endure and blow off-Since God, your children, humanity, friends, family says other wise mirror truth.

Being a bspouse well that does a twisted head job like no other-assault on entire being-- plain over all demoralzing- unless one has a healthy, solid inner foundation- based on love, good support system, etc. Even then rejection can send some deep cracks throught the system.

Sometimes a student/family may have adjustment issues, or a student may feel homesick, want to leave, or emergs. Or a student testing our patience if we all really care. It might take me a good month of daily one/one contact, interactions to help alleviate frustrations, or log jams.

Calm things down. Not always. Lots of kids, families click so well, it's like thanks for checking in--go away were having way to much fun.
I had access to a telephone, long distancing calling which makes it so much easier!!!

I perfer the telephone,so marvelous because computer email-format one loses so much in real communication, the voice, nuances. Email- one is never sure how one will perceive things or hurts- Nothing like actual listening, reflecting, talking and real feedback--

Think about the combo of teens and putting complete strangers from other countries to together to be one family for a year--well people are still people-packaged in with having good hair days, bad hair days all on some learning growth curve.

But anyhoooooo---how the thread bounced like that was odd. Wanted to let you know- the computer is really acting up crashing again. I have tried all sorts of things to repair it. Think the virus hits have done damage-since this dell system is pretty new. but have a good idea why it's being hit. so not much I can do about it.

Had my car towed-yesterday- the mechanic came by we went through the entire process, again. I am so happy that I figured out what the heck has been acting up-it's my starter--but need to put in a muffler, exhaust.

Everything falls apart at once- just recovering from the foolish riduculous legal bills my x racked up, my daughter wedding. I have a log jam to unclear that's for sure.

Stever- you are much to hard on your self!!! I really think when you have a chance to read up on POST TRAUMACTIC STRESS-Complex post trauma stress. How the brain actually works, and shuts down trauma, stress.

You will gain a greater appreciation why your mind shuts down--brokeness in writing- wounds filled with pain, imagines, sooo much emotions.

You have some much poetry in your soul, and other writings out in a fluid motion. The brain gets so pre-occupied with survival--

Then lets look at hormone levels that get depleted drastically drop during high negative stress times. Add overloaded fatigue levels, the body system reserves drops.

Produce those despairing, distraught thoughts. The camera lens change. The image may be clear-put on different lens and different picture appears that the actual object. Get my drift.

I wish you could get a good medical check up, get some blood work done. Find out what's going on with your own biochemistry? The seperation, dv is one of the highest negative stressors- besides death. DEPLETES all those nutrients--

Some people use the anti depressants- but some many adverse bad reactions.

I think using herbal natural products- more gentle on the system, such Valerian, or ST. Johns Wort-- does much better before bed

- so does a glass of wine, with meals do a better job or odd spirit here and there.

Using the B-vitamins--- Thing is with depression, it can jams concentration-shuts the creative flow.Chances are if you were not a great student in english class growing up- chances are there was alot of upheavel, tension at home going on. Very few kids can concentrate, preform-when they are in mutated internal pain. Especially, emotionally sensitive children.

Sometimes the teacher, delivery of information is very poor, and makes things dull, boring-kids tune out, drop out.

You sound like very highly engertic industrious person. Needing lots of positive activity variety, action otherwise idling for you to long drops your energy flow to low at the bottom. Then your really hurting. Like keeping your gas tank at least half full-below that not a great head space to be in.

I recall when I was at low point in my teens- I just couldn't take my parents insanity, excessive controls & mistreatment. Nor could I handle the boredom of school-reading all the art books I could get a hold of--love art with a passion.

I can remember having those suicudial thoughts running through my brain- just to much traffic.I just snapped one day-wait a minute, is the problem soley really me???

Thoughts- well the people who are giving me grief, stress in my life should be out of my life. Went they are "not going," will still be crazy, doing me harm. I'm stuck...

Went- I hold firm core beliefs in non-violent principles-sort of just had to sort of some of the bonehead guys with over flow testosorone. Settle the matter-being the tom boy I was back then.lol

Then went there is so much more to life than books, stupid people, I want the real thing- boredom is not good for me. Why should I suffer pay the conseqences of other people crap. Want do I want- well I wanted to see my grandfather, and visit artgalleries in Paris.

I was so low-anyways decided in a moment of sponstanity mangaged to collect enough energy to re-route my sagging energies, get myself two jobs, work, work for a month- bought a camera & plane ticket" I;m outta here!!"

Barely got out of my work clothes& took off.

Stever, I can't begin to tell you- how wonderful it was to get to my Grandfather place in Europe. Good thing I did- at that time he was really lonely without my grandmother. For six months, we had the best time.

He was so cool, relaxed and humble. Best time of my life- He just let me be, myself!

Living in a small village, mountains alround, no tv, no running water just well water, no paved roads, no phone, cows wandering every where, trees to climb.

All his house had was just a simple kitchen, wood burning stove, radio. Just humble people living hard simple lives, would drop in for a glass of wine/spirits, good laugh and play a good game of cards.

We had such a marvelous time, let me smoke cigarettes&cigars, let me do my own thing, do back to basic chores, listen with me playing my Neil Young tunes on a small casset totally tuned in, people dropping in telling old war stories, their stories, sharing songs.

Stever, life was so simple, filled with goodness and uncomplicated. One would take a 5 minute walk to the little market everyday for basic supplies, coming home was an 1 hr long walk back, after one weaved their way through everyone's house.

Cause being apart of the village- one had to always stop in check in with the neighbors- where they were 5 yrs old or 90- Everyone was on equal playing field. Didn't matter how much one had, or how litte.

So you have a wee drink of snapps, or bit of wine, bite to eat as not to be rude, have shoot the breeze chats, laugh, cry,etc. The day started at 4:30 am cause your butt would freeze off, if one didn't get the fire going in the house, no central heating in big old 200 yrs old house, no glass windows. Mountain air is pretty cold at night.

Anyways- had the best of times- visiting my wonderful uncle, aunt, cousins, living in a small apartment, in old sleeping fishing village, beach across the street. Where one walk to the docks watch the sunsets, write poetry. And just soak in all the goodness be oneself& peace!

Pretty simple and uncomplicated. Then my working in my wonderful uncle toy factory-saving up some bucks to jump a train-head to Paris-- spend the time soaking up all the art galleries 24/7 the environment-- all that goodness.

So now you know why your taking the time to share some French thoughts are touch me in deepest places of my heart of joy!

All those black clouds, despairing thoughts vanished. Went what was I thinking! I just needed a good break, and be apart of loving people, a beautiful world, with GOD-me &my grandpa. The simple good honest things was all I needed safety!

Think one of my deepest regrets returning. I made a promise to return- went back to a mess, worked really hard to make a journey back, my x was supposed to join me- we were working on that goal. He was such a nice person then. Well he messed up big, made life extremely difficult for me& us ever since,then my dear sweet grandpa passed.

The man who showed me the simple treasures, riches of life.

Darn- did I blow it big time-- I just betrayed myself... So as you can see I still have promises to keep. Had my kids make over there, they understand- against the odds--- somehow GOD is going to get us through this!


Sooooo, thankyou for reaching me as well in timely fashion-- reconnect with all the goodness when I was really happy-besides ultimate experinces of having my blessed children.

People do stupid things, at stupid times, we sadly all have to suffer!

By the way----if you have time--- pop up to High Flight thread too, he would so appreciate the male energy, he's in the same place with his broken heart- He's been so patient with all us women driving him huummm little batty! lollll...

Hope dinner was good---bet your a great cook!

Case this computer really craps out---please don't take a offense-means things are out of my hands. Computers are great and marvelous.

Keep playing your guitar----express the emotions.Don't always need words. strings themselves can say it all.

I have working on my acoustic bass--- need to get back at it..then need a piano--- we're such an emotional family that we need that expression release.

some great music sites to play tabs songs to you. The songs, words, will all come together. The way I type on board isn't the way I speak---- it's just trauma pain...my damaged broken wires need repairing. Pain does strange things to brain!

((((Hugs)))))----

Hi my Sky friend,,

how the dickens are you, on this fabulous Sat. a.m.? We're all doing great, kids playing computer games, except Stephaine, she went with a friend to a stay over at church.

Today we're setting up Christmas decorations,,, sort of excited about this,, and sort of blue to.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your so sweet-good hearted.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i sure do try, and thanks for the compliment, quite nice.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am concerned as your just "starting" to share-takes some people awhile to feel "comfortable" sharing,building up process- we all have our own armor safe guards- installed for good reason. Risks.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">realizing i should have been more detailed,, what i meant, was with "you." I felt comfortable to share certian thoughts to a certain depth,, with you,,

I opened up to my family quite awhiel ago,,, as time continued to pass, eventually i choose to close back up. They were not supportive with my wants, or thoughts.

I finally asked them if they could simply support me, adding they don't have to agree, and i'm not asking for them to agree, i'm only wanting/asking for their support. Didn't happen.

Occassionally i'll slip, or at times admit-to them, but i do "STAND" for the healing of my "STANDING" M.


***It's not so easy to open up, sometimes it's plain common sense that it is not to wise to share with persons who don't understand-or have way to much excess baggage that they forgot what humaneness is or just plain nasty folks?***


I too have never been in any chat room, or on any forum, until after W left, tehn i began here at MB, pouring my heart,soul and personal fears, tears,,,

I hear you,, with your brain has to travel at high speeds,, there were times i wished my brain came equipped with an on/off switch,, lol

There are times i'll reply to others, and share either some of my past/current pain/sad, or maybe even ust an opinion,, as with the truest desire to help those in need.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I do so feel very comfortable sharing with you, as your very down to earth and a very, genuine sensitive person.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm glad you do feel this way, i'm touched hearing/knowing this. And yeppers, that is me, down to earth, caring and sensitive, genuinely.


****Your a real person- who has weathered many tempestuous storms in your life. Only God really knows what it truly feels like living in your skin and endured. You strike me as very strong courageous person.****

This can only help me be more prepared, more stronger,, right?? i hope !!??

***I imagine, occupying a man body-is that pride, good pride- but being constantly in a position economic instablity- sick special needs children in not being able to properly provide in the way you want to-do all you could for your family- would be so defeating, discouraging. I can understand.***

if i may say,, at times especially if and when i'm allowing more of the flesh to be, then yeppers, this is a fact. When i look at this spiritually, i can only think/feel that i'm owed nothing, that i'm undeserving, and that i continue to teach my children, be thankful for what we do have,,, because it could be worse,, God i hope that the worse never happens,,

Don't take me wrong, i sure would be comfortable, if things were at least a little better.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can tell that you love life so much, and your family so much, the pain you feel must hurts so deep into your core, spirit more than anyone can imagine.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Often, i wonder when willit, and why doesn't it ever stop hurting? IS this still by my choice? DO i conti nue to allow the hurt? I'll be driving, singing with the songs, and still realize that the hurt is alive. Then, at times i'll allow myself to be frustrated, for allowing, realizing, the pain, again, or still.

I'll occassionally pretend, telling myself, i'm happy, and i enoy being a single parent, doesn't help though. Especially the days i see, hear and feel my childrens tears.

***Being a bspouse well that does a twisted head job like no other-assault on entire being-- plain over all demoralzing- unless one has a healthy, solid inner foundation- based on love, good support system, etc. Even then rejection can send some deep cracks throught the system.***


AS i've mentioned, i'am standing for the healing of my marriage, but anymore, and more and more, i'm allowing that to be dismissed,,, i want a lady in my life, someone to share all those special momenst with, one who can withstand those little, and big storms, to help with those special rainbows, between the both of us.

And thats the wants/needs of the flesh side of things. Spiritually, GOd tells me HE too hates divorce, i hate divorce, it hurts, right to that most deepest, inner core to the max. It hurts my children, the heck with my pain, because thats why i still have that hurt, to the level i do,, my children are still hurting. I try, and i try some more, to help bring/keep little warm precious smiles on their faces, hoping that at least for that moment, their pain is subdued.


I too prefer the phone,,, in most cases,

so when are you calling me Sky??

***But anyhoooooo---how the thread bounced like that was odd. Wanted to let you know-***

i'm wondering,, did i miss something?? i'm still not getting it,? Are you still referring to your post, where you mentioned about offending me?? I'm not sure what or where the offending came in,,..?? i will say this though,, if "you" think/feel that i'm either stupid, knieve, ignorant,, or whatever,, please, by all means, always know, and always feel free and comfortable, knowing that you can say whatever your heart desires,, even if it's critical, personal, or whatever,,

I won't be offended, as i'll simply either ask for us to disagree, or i'l lsay thank you for feeling safe to share your thoughts,,


Oh oh,, look out, another lady is back on the road driving,,, "Be Careful." rofl

I'm glad to hear your vehicle is ok, again.

****Everything falls apart at once-****
God never gives or allows more than we can handle?? (at times i've wondered) as the saying goes,,"when it rains, it pours!"

Stever- you are much to hard on your self!!!

Sky,, not to sound as though i'm the victim, but i really "felt" like i was beat up, knocked down, and kicked for reassurance, then stomped on, for the double reassurance.

Have you read any of my posts from more towards the begining?? Not that i'm making any excuses, just wanting/needing to be undewrstood??

I'm not to sure what all i did share back then, but the accusations, the raping, the attempting to poison her, the MC i was with at that time, advised me to be prepared to do some jail time??

Then, when the accusation of some sexual whatever began cuz one of my children acquired a rash from constantly wetting his pants,, all that did was to confirm what that MC said, and to set in that fear, all that more.

I'am hard on myslef, after reading "when Love is Never Enough" i was with better understanding,, and now i've only added to the list of books/articles, and the maority has related to the brain, the physcological aspect,,, some helped, some no understanding, some i was able to become more at ease,,


***You will gain a greater appreciation why your mind shuts down--brokeness in writing- wounds filled with pain, imagines, sooo much emotions.***

this evening, i will visit and read,, ok??

***You have some much poetry in your soul, and other writings out in a fluid motion. The brain gets so pre-occupied with survival--***

often i have wished i knew how to put it into writing,,, when you first mentioned about me writing, i was convinced that you were a God send, 2 yeaRS ago, i tried, and tried, and still tried, then finally gave up.


yeppers,, i do get your drift,

***I wish you could get a good medical check up, get some blood work done. Find out what's going on with your own biochemistry? The seperation, dv is one of the highest negative stressors- besides death. DEPLETES all those nutrients--***

Sky, thats whats goping on,, still. The Dvf and seperation, it hurts daily, in fact, I choose to refrain from bedtime prayers, Vee and William would become so sad, and begin crying,,,

When i begin thinking that i just need to move on, look for that special lady, then i think i'm being too selfish.


- so does a glass of wine, with meals do a better job or odd spirit here and there.

ahh, a glass of wine,, will you join me?? lol


Sky, i so appreciate you sharing, and opening up to/with me,,, i thoroughly enoyed your sharing your story visiting your grandfather,, quite touching, Sounded as though it was extremel;y exciting!!!

.

YOur grandfather, a simple man, in a simplehouse,,, sounds like me actually,, i tried being a simpleman at least,, lol


***Anyways- had the best of times- visiting my wonderful uncle, aunt, cousins, living in a small apartment, in old sleeping fishing village, beach across the street. Where one walk to the docks watch the sunsets, write poetry. And just soak in all the goodness be oneself& peace!***

rememberence of how the world used to be,, sounds very romantic!!

Where we currently are, the kitchen window faces the west, so we're able to watch the sunset quite often, that is so beautifully spectacular.


****So now you know why your taking the time to share some French thoughts are touch me in deepest places of my heart of joy!****

Yeppers, i do know why??

My deepest darkest clouds, actually disappear, more and more, i'm allowing it to help. thru the use of the keyboard. I don't mean to add to your dark clouds, that thougth never occured to ne,, thats the last thing i'd want to do,, you seem so sincere, and soo sweet. A true caring lady!!! In fact, i do know you are. and i'll say it again,, i'm only glad your not my next door neighbor,, lol


Yes, somehow God will get you through all, as He will me and my children, or family,,, somehow??

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sooooo, thankyou for reaching me as well in timely fashion-- reconnect with all the goodness when I was really happy-besides ultimate experinces of having my blessed children.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">glad to be of help. hoping i was at least responsible for even just a small smile,,

I do ok with cooking, quite often complimented anyhow,,?? lol




***I have working on my acoustic bass--- need to get back at it..then need a piano--- we're such an emotional family that we need that expression release.***

well, what are ya waiting for?? get that piano. My sister has one, and often i'll get going on that as well,, can't reallly play it though,, only by sound, what sounds good, relaxing, to me anyhow,,--

...my damaged broken wires need repairing. Pain does strange things to brain!***
i do agree,, and i do hope that i'm able to help you feel at ease, even if it's only at times,, cuz you sure have helped ease mine,,

and thats all good.

need to run,, i need to get my children to the church, they're making Christmas decorations, watching a movie, and enoying popcorn,,

a very special warm dear hug sent your way,,

i was left warmed, knowing my thoughts sent to you in french, touched you so dear, and deep... not only is was that warming, i find that special special to me, knowing how i left "you" touched.

hugs, and prayers,,

stever

(((Stever)))

Hey caught your post-computer still working for now-touch-go. Wild day yesterday-mom over again all day-cutting, preping the elk meat, etc--soon as she left-my son stuff needing lots of my mega attention, then had me up with his friends till 4:30. am-hetic day again-my car hopefully fixed, needs to be picked up-now need to tredge through the snow- the temps are -20 today-brrrr.

Super to hear you& kids having a bliss out Christmas spirited day-church!

Hey, brain storm here- wondering if any of the older ladies at your church, to connect with. They usually loads of free time, get bored, would love to share--"grandma's" could come to your house help with a loving, helping hand--supply some grandmotherly tlc to you& kids, even read a story, plenty generous with cuddles, stories...

Maybe you could swop services,bring the kids over to their house fix a few things!
Nice mutual exchange- we all need to belong- word of God says we do...Holidays can be extra tough on everyone.

Some of those dear older sisters widows-well get the get lonely too, sometimes hugely forgotten, would love to be needed, apart of a family... Wonder if you have thoughts of this?Win/win situation...

Wanted to let you know Jesus loves you all very much! Thinkin& praying for you& your family!!

We'll chat later--Wondering do you listen to the country rock music,stations?
My current two top favorite songs playing now not sure if you have heard these! Awesomely moving-Jesus singing through our the hearts...

Opens all the heart lines!!! So if you can't write due to pain emotional "Vertigo" feelings, due to a broken heart--that shuts down the free flow of words, expression for now. Your definately a true artist- with your geniune feeling ability.

Try strumming along to these two tunes if you listen to the radio!!! You will be free flowing soon--in no time again! Your voice, words, etc will find it's way all back...

Smiles!!! Talk later---

HOLY WATER-Big&Rich

Somewhere there's a stolen halo
I use to watch her wear it well
Everything would shine wherever she would go
But looking at her now you'd never tell

Someone ran away with her innocence
A memory she can't get out of her head
I can only imagine what she's feeling
When she's praying
Kneeling at the edge of her bed

And she says take me away
And take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me like holy water
Holy water

She wants someone to call her angel
Someone to put the light back in her eyes
She's looking through the faces


Forgive Me (For Giving A Damn)

Doc Walker

(Chris Thorsteinson/Dave Wasyliw/Robert Ellis Orrall)

I was the one who was undone
Till you picked me up
So how did you fall so far from it all
Thought you were my rock
So why do you push me away

I'm not gonna stand here and watch you go down
I know that you're sinking, I won't let you drown
And it just comes from being the man that I am
So forgive me, forgive me for giving a damn

Listen to me, I can't compete
With this trip you're on
So if you decide to take that ride
I can't come along
Cause I know just where it leads

I'm not gonna stand here and watch you go down
I know that you're sinking, I won't let you drown
And it just comes from being the man that I am
So forgive me, forgive me for giving a damn

I know you're scared and you just want to run
I've been there, I know where you're coming from

I'm not gonna stand here and watch you go down
I know that you're sinking, I won't let you drown
And it just comes from being the man that I am
So forgive me, forgive me for giving a damn
Forgive me for giving a damn

Hi Stever,

Knock, knock, if I were your neighbor-well here is a giant pot of chicken, dumplings, lots of baking, giant pot of a special tea I make by the gallons.

Loved that how the dickens are you! Your to funny for your own sneakers.lol... Well it was the best of times& the worst of times... I am smilin--thanks for asking- Charles...lol..

I have my car back-that is a blessing- the weather is freezing- I don't know what to think. Colder today. Next to fix all the other things. Need blessings, hoping to take in some sessions a t our HOME Depoit.

Managed to repair wiring, awhile go get the power working through our upstairs. My were my kids impressed, and so was I. Developing more confidence to do more things.

How was your day????


How is Ms. Stephanie being 16 & all this stress& young master William world? How are they coping???? Must be sooo hard!!! We have chatted a lot about Miss Vee. Big hugs to all your kids???

Bet your place looks really cozy with all the Christmas decorations up... What do the kids all think? Yeah, it sure a bluesy time of year. Don't think there is a big enough eraser to wipe it all out right now.

I meant to get more sleep, my friends have been keeping me up late chatting again- and am falling sleep on them on the phone..

Anyways, will write a bit later- just wanted to say hello- lots in my brain today...

Hope your having a good evening or catching up on some good sleep yourself!!! Power down, power up again.

I have probably chatted your ears off, by now worn your fingers on the key board to the bone. Your probably, wearing an ice pak again, as you read this. Saying Oh no-- not that Canadian again--the novel saga continues. See it's apart of our national anthem.

OH Canada- or OH, OH, Canada, here they come again. They simply talk to much in frozen white north.Run...cover your ears...lol..

By, the way, we live in real houses, not igloo's, tents or even forts, for that matter.

Good to write everyday-even something.

Hope you were able to do some strumming, humming to those lyrics.

You never mentioned what music you connect with???

That's right- strum and humm... Tis All good!!!

Warm,warm hugs on wings& prayers! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hello my wonderful Sky friend,,

how in the he!! are ya?? I'm doing great!
So are my children,,,

I had to take William to the dentist yesterday,, needed a filling. He kept saying no daddy, no dentist,, when we were there, he handled it so great. HE was such a big boy about it.

With our Christmas decorations, either i managed to leave quite a bit behind, or can't locate them all?? Vee is a little discouraged,, but she's found a way to deal with that. She re-decorates what we do have out, so far she's broke a few, but i suppose she's having fun though.

In some way- They're all a little blue, at least that's what i'm getting from them anyhow,,they're talk is often about how we'd decortae the big house we used to be in,
Vee, she continues to share with me the first thing on her Christmas list, " a new mom" She's been expressing some anger towards her mom also??


Sunday, William woke up moody, on the way to church i asked the kids to sing Christmas songs, and church songs- Willaim kept saying, "I don't want them to sing." "I don't want to sing!" FInally after asking him about what songs he knew, he slipped and finally bagan singing, when he realized this,, he said again, "I don't want to sing!" lol

They're all currently anjoying a cup of hot chocolate. Vee has added a candy cane to hers. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey-thanks for the songs,, now i'm wondering, will you please sing those to me? and i'll bet you have a wonderful voice!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Stephanie just had her hair highlighted, again. She's been talking a lot lately about moving back to Allegan???????/




Nickers, i just re-grounded him, he has another E in alegbra. THe school has him involved in another class-helping him with this subject, so now he only has band 3x a week.


Chicken/dumplings,, we're on our way!!! LOL My children just totally love it when i make that for supper. *Special tea* mmm- sounds good too!
I will take the biggest glass of this, that you have available please?

&&& I am smilin--thanks for asking- Charles...lol..***

Keep on smiling that pretty smile dear.

*Too funny* maybe i've said this before,, i do enjoy making people smile, and or laugh. When this happens, w/o maybe realizing, they always feel good- at least for that little moment, forgetting about the more serious part of life,even for that quick brief moment,,
not only that, laughter just feels good.

I'm glad knowing you have your car back,, now i won't need to worry -i've been thinking i'll have to head to Canada to be your chaffuer. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

**Managed to repair wiring,** WOW!!! I too am impressed! Wiring "can" be difficult.


**I have probably chatted your ears off,**
hmmm, let's see (thinking about it-- thinking, thinking,,) nope, you won't/can't talk my ears off, I enjoy hearing/reading your replies,, ok, the maority of them that is. ok, ok, you twisted my arm off- all of them!. I really do enoy hearing from you. (spoken sincere)


I'm wondering,, how did you know i was wearing the ice pack on my fingers? Have i told you this before? If so, that must have slipped out,, sorry,. rofl

I was wondering how you were doing the wiring,, i was with impression of the igloo . geez, imagine that one huh. wiring an igloo?

While watching the weather news within the last few days, i seen it's been quite cold there in Canada. We get a lot of cold weather coming down from Canada. Today our temp had to be close to 60! I worked in ust a t-shirt for awhile. Quite nice for the month of Dec.

Yet, we're all still hoping/wanting more snow.


**You never mentioned what music you connect with???**

BAsically country. Used to be music from Black Sabbath, Motley Crue, Kiss, Ozzy Osbourne,,,

i like bluegrass, country, rock,,,and more- I don't paticulary care for the head banging music, nor the wanna be music, and do not care for rap.

What about you? What's your choice?
IF i hear you like country, when i come for some of those chicken/dumplings,, after - we'll need to head to the dance hall. ok!? LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


Talked with W last night,, I was with impression that her heart has/is softening. ??

She called concerned about William,, this is pretty much a first. We talked for some time, and we were full of laughter- together!

I asked her "what are we going to do about us." Anyhow, she was so pleasant, even with some empathy listening,, and the such. WOW!!!

We spoke about working on our M and R, and she said ok. Moments later, she reminded me that i'm pressuring her. Our conversation continued, laughed some more, then i quickly said good-bye, ending with laughter.

I really don't know what to think-or trust?? As i still wonder if it's maybe a game, regards to CS. I spent the majority of the day Monday talking with an attorney, and i went to the court and looked in my Dv and CS file, had some papers copied.

Anyhow--- i can't get CS, w/o filing for Dv. I stated that i didn't want to file for Dv, that's when he said that i wouldn't be able to get CS then,??? I asked about filing for legal seperation, his reply- "well, maybe, but that's quite complicated."

I went to another lawyer, his words were basically the same,, ???????????????????????????????????/

You said </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well it was the best of times& the worst of times.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What's up with the worst of times??

You also said, "lots in my brain today."
you need to talk with me Sky? What's lots? What's up there girl?


I'm quite curious, how's your daughter doing, with still being a newly wed?

Whats your son been up to lately?

That reminds me,, i'm currently doing some brainstorming- having to do with marriages, fidelity, writing to the media,,, planning an event?? getting something going here in Michigan?

With some of this,, this is a time i sure wished i was more of a writer though,.??


****Warm,warm hugs**** be careful,, i might just hold on a little longer, and i do know i'd hold on tighter! in fact, i'd embrace that hug from within. (heart beating,,pound pound) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hugs are WONDERFUL!!!

hugs and prayers- for you and yours.

stever

My dearest Charles!!!

Your really a true,blue Dicken's man- I am just laughing away-you are so hilarious!!! Don't think Scrooge, will be taking up roost at your house. lol... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My, my, my, my your just trouble aren't you?!? I'm still laughing. I bet your eyes really twinkle-your just full of spark& mischief!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Quik moment- on the ligher side- catch this- found a site you might really connect with. Thought of you all. Noted some great contests to enter skydiving, ballooning, etc-thought would be fun for you and your kids.... to enter. What the heck! KOOOOOLLL SITE..

www.1800skyride.com


Louvre Musuem in France you/kids might enjoy this virtual tour- chase the dark clouds away. We all need to see the bigger picture..Yes, indeed take a trip & never leave the farm. lol...

www.louvre.fr


I'll be back---My chaufer--- drivin Ms. Daisy around--awfully chilly up here-- in a deep freeze-ideal champagne conditions. Hope you have a sleigh handy, all those bells& whistles, snowshoes, team of dogs-- or I'll have to send the Mounties after ya...search, rescue mission.. lol... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

sky...

Like wise- Hellooo to you too, my wonderful friend!

[how in the he!! are ya?? I'm doing great!
So are my children,,,
QUOTE] [

Excellent news-dude--fabulous to hear your chicklets are humming,& feeling better!
QUOTE]


[I had to take William to the dentist yesterday,, needed a filling. He kept saying no daddy, no dentist,, when we were there, he handled it so great. HE was such a big boy about it.

Aweeeee-Poor wee William--- awe kinda sucks for him-- smart kid I don't blame him--can anyone blame him. Trips to the dentist isn't alway fun place to go...kinda SCARY-someone poking in your mouth--poor tooth. Soo proud of him. He had his daddy holding his hand,being with him, makes all the difference! WELL DONE-Pops!!!



[Vee is a little discouraged,, but she's found a way to deal with that. She re-decorates what we do have out, so far she's broke a few, but i suppose she's having fun though.
QUOTE] [

And who can blame Miss Vee- feeling discouraged? Wise little one-- like her style- vent release, recorating for any gal is sooo theraputic- channeling all that frustration.

No problem, breaking a few,neat reaction, it happens, and yeah it's fun.... grrrr, oooppsss, smiles...kinda of reflects how she feels inside. It's all replaceable-but kids aren't!


[In some way- They're all a little blue, at least that's what i'm getting from them anyhow,,they're talk is often about how we'd decortae the big house we used to be in.

That's sad news, comparison, sounds like lots of happy memories in your the last house. Grieving is ok, let it roll, kids need to get those feelings out. Sounds like life was really joyful then???

Vee, she continues to share with me the first thing on her Christmas list, " a new mom" She's been expressing some anger towards her mom also??

UOTE] POOORR CHILD!!! Miss Vee- IS ROYALLY, RIGHTFULLY, MIFFED, RIPPED!!!! Who can blame her????She must feel so scared, confused, frustrated, helpless to make it better.

Poor little darhling deart heart-- I feel her hurt, pain. All that hurt, pain has to come out that's good.

Must hurt& rip your heart like no tomorrow, so deeply for you, to hear her trembling heart beating so sadly... Bright side, although the situation is sooo sad but true.

She has YOU& her father, love to be sooo strong& steady for her, to hear, hold her little heart, arms, treasure her precious little tears falls, console her like you have always been for her, she'll know that it's not easy but together you'll all make it through... in the real world.

I can't imagine where she, and the rest your kids would be without you????

Sounds like lots of bubbles baths needed for her, splish, splash, slap that water around calm her, soothe deeply, her tiny tender fragile spirit...and make it feel better day by day... I propose more bubbles....Applies to everyone in the family including you!!!

[Sunday, William woke up moody, on the way to church i asked the kids to sing Christmas songs, and church songs- Willaim kept saying, "I don't want them to sing." "I don't want to sing!" FInally after asking him about what songs he knew, he slipped and finally bagan singing, when he realized this,, he said again, "I don't want to sing!" lol
QUOTE] [

Poor William-- he's got it bad-- Who can blame again he's a person--HELLO-- he has to keep it all in. Love hearing you got everyone singing. Rite on POPS---keep their spirits up like that-- clever move to get him find a detour from his pain, find those songs-remembering the good times, that get you through the heart, hard breaking times.Poor guy.... bet he & rest felt a whole lot better once you got to church.../QUOTE]

[They're all currently anjoying a cup of hot chocolate. Vee has added a candy cane to hers.
QUOTE] [

Ummm-sounds perfect remedy-hot chocolate creamy, delicious, swirling, warm, yummy for the tummy& soul. Bonus, Ms.Vee scores a swirlly, twirly, candy sssstick, the goood sttick, mintyyy...goody stttick just like her!!! Little people are so KOOL!!!/QUOTE]

[Hey-thanks for the songs,, now i'm wondering, will you please sing those to me? and i'll bet you have a wonderful voiceQUOTE]

Alright-baba louie! No problemo- glad you enjoyed the lyrics. You'll have to turn the dial to country and listen--- I have been singing right along daily 5 times a day. I stop what I am doing, strumm, cry, I get so emotional..

Have you heard these songs? The lyrics, music gets my tears to well up, and I sing. So please join me, jump right in.

My bass guitar is at my mom's still. Just learning it. My good friends in the country told you about that had the crisis, miracle are both excellent musicians.

We were getting groovin, jamming. Damn it all---wrong people got hold of my dear friends hubby & well things just stopped. I played music since I was 7 yrs old til 14. Hated the instrument, won alot of awards.

My parents "forced" me to play the accordian. I'm more of piano, violin--guitar person...Actually started playing keyboard at 3 yrs old. Figured out how to play Joy to the World. I am still trying to make peace with my accordian.

My xh was a professional musican for alot of yrs. Singer, songwriter, guitarist, we wrote alot of songs together, which he never acknowledged. Very talented that's for certain-however, lacked the humility, discplined focus, surrounded himself by musicians that didn't have the love zone for music.

At one time he had a great Christian band.Actually, one of his good friends who led me to connect with Jesus when I was 24 yrs old. My dear brother played the most awesome-- blues, jazz, was awesome harmonica/clarionet player.

Did lots of albums bands blue rodeo, his other friend who awesome bass guitarist played for yrs Long John Baldry-Jethro Tull.

Sadly, my xh was weird- he intitimated the kids& I. lots of fear. Couldn't relax, enjoy, let us his family apart of what we loved music. So not to get in the way of his big ego, excessive pride, insecutries-- I have the heart, feel, creativity which sadly errked him. Not worth the contention, strife.

So I shut down, just let him have at er...WHAT EVER.. lol..

I have pretty sensitive hands& spirit--it's all good& safe now to play, write. I have written alot, chuck it--but must re-learn- I want to play by ear, feel, learned by sheet music, disliked the instrument during my growin up.

I love all sorts of music, open ears pretty much.From Opera, classical, jazz, blues, latino, funk, contempary country, bluegrass, rock, techno, hip, hop, rap, new world, old world, polkas, all of it pretty much....

As for getting a piano--we're just to broke to do that now- but in time I will make sure of it. I have lot of rebuilding to do. Will rehook, up with other nice musicians to catch up lost time. Wanted to get a violin-I go nuts, vibrate.

The sweetest, electric fast speed, intenisty. Ah love it all. I zone out in music-- Looking forward to that part coming up... I could easily be a hermit, recluse...but to much of people person.


[Stephanie just had her hair highlighted, again. She's been talking a lot lately about moving back to Allegan???????/

Wow, Ms. Stephanie had her hair-bet she feels so wonderfull! Does she have a boyfriend so far-- goin through all the crushes? How does she feel about mom gone?

My friend daughter in the country is 15 yrs-dad gone since last summer. It been rough with Ms. Allie--no so much with her sister. But the kids confronts their dad tells him he's just real beautiful. Just beautiful dad. Doing his adultery thang. Thing was they had an awesome solid family great solid morals, values, dymanics for 13, yrs.

Bang dad goes off his rails.We all keep trying to retrieve him back...They are the most sweetest musical family, seven horses, life was real good.

When my girlfriend calls up--in her frustration we say, sing, scream the vowels. A, E, I, O, U. Why, Y...

She has stood firmly to save her marriage-damn well destroyed her. She has awesome powerful country voice,makes one just cry. All about the heart, from the heart, sent out to another heart.

Keeping hoping life for us all will get back to normal get living. She wants to get her pilot ballooning license next--we get on with our lives.Surviving both our marriages, family crisis, breakdowns took everything we had...


Not sure how things for Stephanie are?


[Nickers, i just re-grounded him, he has another E in alegbra. THe school has him involved in another class-helping him with this subject, so now he only has band 3x a weekQUOTE] [

So what's up with Nickers alegbra--what happening for him- has he lost a thread of math somewhere, lost it? Frustrated, does he click with the teacher. Pretty normal for grades to drop.

Hope he will pick up later--- loves his music--- too, bad his teachers can't reach him on music,math level!!! Both subjects perfectly hand in hand...Dad's got to do what he got to do. Grounding----ohhh,oohhm- hope it's effective! Good luck!!!/QUOTE] .


[Chicken/dumplings,, we're on our way!!! LOL My children just totally love it when i make that for supper. *Special tea* mmm- sounds good too!
I will take the biggest glass of this, that you have available pleaseQUOTE] [

Hey I was going to drop the goods off at your door step, what else do neighbors do--neighbors cook for one another. Cool you make chicken dumplings alright dude- think you kids have decided you are a keeper!!! I /QUOTE] ?

My tea is pretty awesomely good-want the recipe??? Great hot or cold. Makes great gallons, great for soothing the heart, soul, does the body good.

It's East Indian tea, filled with exotic, cinnamon, ginger, etc..spices of goodness, so inexpensive, easy, Above all medicinal. I trained early in my 20 as a herbalist,etc.Used a great deal to heal my own children. Lived a pretty wholistic earth muffin down to earth basic natural lifestyle.

But the xh, families were freaked out.life was complexly bad- So again let things slide, I just do things differently, God made me a little different, I just didnt' fit in..

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
*Too funny* maybe i've said this before,, i do enjoy making people smile, and or laugh. When this happens, w/o maybe realizing, they always feel good- at least for that little moment, forgetting about the more serious part of life,even for that quick brief moment,,
not only that, laughter just feels good.

Yes, you do have a hilarious funny bone, and you do have that gift of putting on smiles, getting me laughing.I feel so good. I especially like your humble yeppers!!!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

. Soo enchantingly sweet,endearing. Were on the same page- forgetting the serious part, lightens the load, helps get things back in to kilter. Sort of recalibrates everything. You gotta it!!!

**Managed to repair wiring,** WOW!!! I too am impressed! Wiring "can" be difficult.

So was I-- impressed-glad you are too- I have to face it I am wired totally different way. I am more of a right brainer. Didn't think I could do the trouble shooting, repairs.

Just remembered to turn off the power in the entire house, slowly make my way through. Think you guys can do all this stuff-why can't I learn.

Checked for overloaded circuit areas- My doings, where I had to many of my lava lamps, pyramid electric tower bubbles in water, gives off nice light show, phone, cd player all plugged in. I like doing that for our kids--- myself.

You should see,when I get the incense cleansing going- oriental music flowing. All the kids love it...light shows, candles. Blissed out, zenned out by my floating world environment. Peace, tranquilty levels achieved are awesome. Nice to see everyone decompress, relax deeply. No stress.

But gotta a little to carried away-since it was my screw up---so found the outlet with burnt copper wire, cut it out, reconnected the other blk/wh two, did a good twist, put it all as it was. Turned on the breaker. Voila, power back on lights all working, throught the entire upstairs. The intrigue of electricity was awesome.


[**I have probably chatted your ears off,**
hmmm, let's see (thinking about it-- thinking, thinking,,) nope, you won't/can't talk my ears off, I enjoy hearing/reading your replies,, ok, the maority of them that is. ok, ok, you twisted my arm off- all of them!. I really do enoy hearing from you. (spoken sincere)

Welll, I have enjoyed chatting with immensely as well, and so touched by your unfortunate hardships, I wanted you to feel better. Distract ya, share all the info to make things better, if it only helps.

You decide,& take, or disgard what's helps. You sound fairly resourceful, and so have I had to be--pulling rabbits out hats out of no where isn't exactly the easiest task.

I know what it's like to have ill, special needs kids, young, unfunctioning partner severly damaged-no funds. Going through the deep pains of hearbreaks of adultries, everything else going wrong not working out.

Thing for me I was never one to give up, times I felt like it. Hard times of wanting to just run away with my kids, no support from families, back up against a wall, no vechile, or funds. God was greater, and I never was one much to feel sorry for myself to long. I felt much like you others had it worse. But so did we, cut off from everything.

Sooo with God- thought only way out is get involved with life--- I didn't want to be like my xh-hurt my kids with affairs, selfish. Why hurt them.

I am responible for bringing my children into the world, and responible for the wrongdoings, reckless actions of my wh... whether it was my fault or not. Affected my children. So I needed to be resourceful, teach them that although we were hurting. Life didn't stop.

Always, find some volunteer wk, community projects to do as a family. If meant get a park going, start a school, start block watch, crime prevention program, balloon launch chasing, help out in church, coaching sports teams, set up better support, birthing conditions options in a hostipals.

I/kids were involved. What ever, we were going to find positive, enriching ways to handle setbacks, difficult times, we did together. My kids are better for it, met lots of wonderful people, kids, made difference somewhere..

Though why my xh got more outraged. But what else is there to do, when he was out doing things he shouldn't, not interested in putting no energy into the relationship or family. Fight all day? I needed to protect my heart, children heart, souls.

I thought better to be proactive, productive, learn something new, get that brain going, than create more chaos, be isolated, unhappy or succumb, feel sorry for myself, become a total screw up like my xh,screw up my children more!

Ahhh, nice weather report 60--OMG--it's cold, freezing, accidents everywhere,slip, slide, awefully cold.


[BAsically country. Used to be music from Black Sabbath, Motley Crue, Kiss, Ozzy Osbourne,,,

Kool you enjoy country! Right on--as do I. I just knew you had all some of ozzy, kiss, sabbath in your closets somewhere. Gosh, what a blast from the bast. I just remember going to a kiss concert, & Alice Cooper in my teens. What was I thinking???

QUOTE]

Stever, ahhh come on Head Banging music is where it's at..living in a caos situation. Does the body good! Live it up!!

[QIF i hear you like country, when i come for some of those chicken/dumplings,, after - we'll need to head to the dance hall. ok!? LOL

Well I love country--my city is cow town-- this is city is all about country. Never mess with Oil/BEEF industry, or cowboy culture..not like country music, own cowboy hat, boots. OMG, forbid, corporate culture here-people lose careers if you mess with country. Top oil exc are known as sophisticated hillbilly barons. lol--kid you not!!!

We have a awesome country bar best bands- that has cowboy church right in the bar sundays mornings. My friend told about u. I & visit. Too cool, rodeo circuit for Jesus. God meets people where they are at. I live an pretty eccentric diversified life.lol

Stever, so I take-- you'll be coming around the mountain for chicken/dumplings. When are ya comin? Will you be riding six white horses when you come??? LOL...

Humming that tune- if you ever make it through all mountains, hills, prairies, valleys, to go through--there be plenty of chicken/ dumplings for sure, can't forget wine for sure to revive you back to life...

But bud-- you's be so sore, sooo exhausted for weeks, to keep up, kick up your heels with me! LOL
That's how I heal. Dancing where ever one is the best! BET KFC in your town probably looks pretty good about now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Talked with W last night,, I was with impression that her heart has/is softening. ??
Stever, that's wonderful news--- heart softening --awe thanks for sharing- as Lord know I have been praying for her as you have for so long.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She called concerned about William,, this is pretty much a first. We talked for some time, and we were full of laughter- together!

Concerned about William, and first time! Wow, that's exciting for you-- Talking, laughter, full of laughter! Love hearing that, makes my heart filled with warmth, sincere gladness. You have wanted this to happen for so long!!! RITE ON!!! TERRIFIC!!! HIGH FIVES!!! AMEN!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I asked her "what are we going to do about us." Anyhow, she was so pleasant, even with some empathy listening,, and the such. WOW!!!

AWESOME!!! Your wife being PLEASANT, EMPATHY....This is to koooool, I liked how you broached the subject with her.... Nice touch...High FIVE=== How did you feel inside, your heart handle the niceties, pleasantries exchange???? This is looking better!!!!


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We spoke about working on our M and R, and she said ok. Moments later, she reminded me that i'm pressuring her. Our conversation continued, laughed some more, then i quickly said good-bye, ending with laughter. AWESOMELY, THRILLED, ESTACTIC__She actually said OK!!! YOUR ROCKIN NOW!!!!! KEEP GOIN!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"></font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I really don't know what to think-or trust?? As i still wonder if it's maybe a game, regards to CS </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">.

Follow you heart---trust re-building is entirely different matter. Maybe, she is comin to her senses. Maybe a game-Take Slow steps-if it gets too much for you, back off a little. Clear your head-take a step forward--BREATHE--RELAX..

I recall -sitting right outside the court room our first time of sep 9yrs ago. My xh then sat outside, asked me to reconsider, felt badly, I was cold as ice- I& kids were hurt enough-- Think of all the logicsitics here??

At that time it was in our kids best interest to put our kids first by putting the relationship together. Not in my own heart as a person, think you can understand why. But the our children came first, their needs for the future.

Our reconcilation, wasn't instant move in-after what my xh did-we would just get together on Wednesday for a month,talk on the phone almost nightly- made him make me happy.

You know what that period was the most wonderful time. He was actually with the program-good with our kids. My kids were devastated with out their dad, see the sling I was in??? For me it was like hide for the hills. I never did anything foolish during our seperation either. My kids meant everything to me, their hearts.

I am just wired that way-straight arrow. No matter how heartbroken, hurting deeply inside. Feeling sorry for myself, for sure-went look at I am missing out on, looks, tears, of my children went further into my heart.

It was all about them, doing what I could to help them reconnect with their daddy. Now I am weeping, tears are rolling down my cheeks... And suppose that's a good thing... I understand and have been where your standing. I understand fears, and good reason... you can't just trust...

..... wartorn family isn't what I desired for our children.

I sincerely feel for you both....Then we did move back later a month later-with counceling.

[I spent the majority of the day Monday talking with an attorney, and i went to the court and looked in my Dv and CS file, had some papers copied. QUOTE] </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I feel for you-you do what you need to do!!!! Not pleasant but does need to be done!

[Anyhow--- i can't get CS, w/o filing for Dv. I stated that i didn't want to file for Dv, that's when he said that i wouldn't be able to get CS then,??? I asked about filing for legal seperation, his reply- "well, maybe, but that's quite complicated." QUOTE] [/QUOTE]

Stever, your legal system is entirely different- up here one has to have a seperation aggreement done first, before filing DV- Our courts-want the children needs, supports, property assests divided, spousal. Children needs, finances come first...

Truthfully, it should be your wife giving you a dv as result of her a...means she is not a christian-but unbeliver, so if I understand correctly what are you supposed to do? She has deserted the marriage, children?

[I went to another lawyer, his words were basically the same,, ???????????????????????????????????/

Sad to hear that--- what do they advise under these circumstances, what would they do? I am soorrry that you having to jump alot of hoops here. What a seeing another attorney?

A good attorney would advise getting counceling first perhaps with counceling cs/could be written in contract, or reconcilation--

presence of a 3 party councelor, pastor, a trial period-- of living together...written contract that keeps everyone on track... I suggest using words with your wife being fair/reasonable. Over and over... don't get petty... let's be fair-reasonable....This route could save alot of money, than letting the lawyers get involved.

Also you want to clear all the " grievances with her". I have met woman during of acute stress, was legal assistant-but lack of real knowledge about sa..she was a mess- said her husband, did something-, child had a rash-- she in her perception truly believed something else. I walked through it with her-- and well, she needed education.

I suggested she check in SA Center--educate her self.Also a check here is to if you have done anything offensive to her--she must be treated as equal, made to feel safe. Sometimes many people have no idea their behavior is offense to that person. A certain behavior may not even be a issue. If she is sensitive--In that case change their behavior.

My best friend went through this-- she had affair for 4 yrs with the birth father of her first son, was given up for adoption at 16ys not a PA..Her first love... Later married had a baby daughter her husband had an affair she dv him. Later became a christian met her 2 nd husband.

They had been married for about 16 yrs. Life changed- as teen my girlfriend ran ran away over the trauma of losing her son, love of her life. Sadly ended up being raped 2x, lots of other assualts. God healed her a great deal- long story-that drove me almost mad-standing in the gap-

With repentance and the most incredible love from her Christian husband-my bro--she came out of bondage, end the relationship with her first love.... Victory--however what she didn't understand healing from SA-isn't always one time event-comes back in cycles of healing& lots of sexual hangups, pretty naive in areas.

Next thing I knew, my friend tells me she is dv her husband-wouldn't tell me why- later find out she said she was being assaulted sexually in the relationship. WOw blown away--long story they split, reconciled.

She realised she had made a big mistake, thought her husband was perve. When we got down to the truth, core, heart to heart... well she lacked a whole lot of normal understanding about sexuality.

Needless to say, my christian brother felt so terrible that he hurt his wife- not intentional- had no idea, but to her it was uncomfortable-abnormal-Rebrought back all the old SA trauma.
He is the most sensitive person, gentle person, but well- expresses himself more differently.

But really it wasn't when she opened up--talk ed with awhole lot of people and found out elsewise. They reconciled- celerbrated their 32 yr of marriage last month... Praise God...

If that isn't crazy wild ride- but God did amazing things in their relationship- both in prayer, screwed up. Her hubby held steady, faithful undaunted in his love for Christ.
Not everyone could do this.

So, important that we don't turn a blind eye to grievances, confront them, appropiate conduct, or apology, right info, education...

WHAT DO YOU BOTH HAVE TO LOSE????, but gain...The family can't handle the strain, the children are going without, improvished by dual households, etc... Praying for you!!!!

I am joyful for your progress. Hope my friends struggles encourage you,we all have different convictions.

[I'm quite curious, how's your daughter doing, with still being a newly wed?
QUOTE]

I;m curious too, my daughter and hubby are rocking in love, doing fine, chillin winding down. My daughter looks so beautiful in love, my sil makes her so happy. Working out Christmas letting her know they are totally free to spend by themselves, or join us--reminding her parents, family take the back seat in marriage.

It's all about them, what ever they do, is totally OK no guilt on my part. No meddling in laws.

She was over the day we had a great time....She is pretty mature, wise for her years. She is a young woman deeply in love, leveled head. Enjoying her man-he's enjoyin her. Seems she's blown off her dad-his entire family-- bought him a christmas present- but other that-she knows she free!

Thankyou for you kind considerations and asking!!! Very kind[/QUOTE]


[Whats your son been up to lately? QUOTE] [/QUOTE] Zack has been working on all his projects, assignments for college, finished his last class today- out partying celebrating somewhere. He has been staying up,out pretty late...I'm sure he will be sleeping in for a week now that exams are done. Seems to be settling down.

[That reminds me,, i'm currently doing some brainstorming- having to do with marriages, fidelity, writing to the media,,, planning an event?? getting something going here in Michigan?

Stever, that's pretty exciting, awesome news!!!Wow, I'm impressed---keep brain storming now that your brain is so awake---I bet what ever you decide to put your mind to--it will be awesome!!! Your getting fired up!!!

You have so much to offer others families especially with special needs children etc... Your awesome!!! You'll be writing--now that your writing down to the bone!!!

Hope you'll share when your comfortable....

Wouldn't it be wonderful to get accepted with HAB and move to the area your family experinced so much happiness.

QUOTE] [/QUOTE] With some of this,, this is a time i sure wished i was more of a writer though,.??

You will be-it will come together-the flow- I don't wish to be arrogant here- I have written advocacy letters- that have well made it around the world-received very,very high recommendations.

Not that I am trying to exalt myself. To write when I am under duress, tired, in crisis. My brain jamms.

Stever, you know what my collegue, former director yrs back- living in MN-she is an excellent journalist, majored in journalism in college. When all the stress hit- she got ill- man her writing was in rough shape- you should seem our emails back and forth.

She back again in the saddle, took a few years, writing books, and still has publishers editing, working out the tighing the mechanics, sentance structures. Keep writing, keep the flow happening, clear your mind, it will just flow, happen naturally....

I have FAITH IN YOU!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! Just need to understand how PTSD-Stress does to the brain.... YOUR GOING TO BE OK--AWESOME!

Ahhhh---hugs are wonderful=we all need them-especially the bear heart hugs--good grip, we all hug around here alot==here's my big heart bear hug, sincerely sent your way!!!

Love you, take care <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Sky

hugs and prayers- for you and yours.

stever

Hi Sky,

just dropping in momentarily.

Nickers had his Christmas band concert last night, he was proud of his performance. He walked a little taller,, lol

Veronica, she had hers this morning. their first two songs were only with signing, it was soo sweet. then the last song was with both, signing and singing.

Vee was telling me last night not to wave to her, cuz her teacher said they couldn't wave to anybody,,

so this morning occassionaly i'd wave to her,,, she tried once to wave indiscreet,, rofl.

I told her this morning as she left for the bus, i would be waving, til she waved back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I had to see the company doc today, injured both ankles at work, now i'm on a four day restriction. err and uggg!

hugs to you, with my arms stretched all that way to Canada. hoping they are still warm by then,, if not place them in your arms, until the warmth begins.

notcing the little non-chalant love you,, this was very sweet and warming .

so right back to you,,

love ya, have a wonderful eve, T.T.F.N.

smile babe, it's all good.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
stever

time to pop the popcorn, and we're kicking back watching Christmas shows,, and enjoying.

<small>[ December 10, 2004, 06:20 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>