kids ended up calling their mom, asked if she would come pick them up, so our movie was cut short. they are enjoying some extra time with her,, and thats all good.

while w was here, i was talking to our son about getting him a doctor appointment,,,w asked me this, "What do you think it is honey?"

I wasn't sure how or what, or even if i should respond, so i acted as though i was mr. non-chalant, and hadn't noticed,,,

i wanted to ask,, are you talking to me, referring to me as honey,, but the thought of allowing that pain, once she said no, wasn't sure the risk was worth it,
i was scared and nervous,, geez, and we weren't even out on a date.

heading to my sisters for awhile, it's too boring around here, going crazy. lol

Hey-U-I miss- my U friend!

I read you post last night.Thought of your cozy family time, chillin back. Didn't notice your second post until now. Wanted to let you be& relax after of your news of injuring yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Loved soooo much hearing about Ms. Vee's rockin Christmas show. She must of looked so pretty--- what was she wearing?

No waving at dad. Ahhhh pout...

She should always be able to blow her daddy a nice big kiss at least. It's scary up on stage for little people.

They get those wiggly caterpillars in their tummies, get hot, hold their breath,can't breathe, legs get shaky. Christmas concerts are big production.

Oh my gosh.... I couldn't belive your news about your injuring self. Poooor poooor guy? What happened? You must be a lot of pain??? I am so concerned for you?? Your injuries must be very painful? Are you on meds, need to get xrays, lots of bed rest? Wow..

So your wife popped in- wow- must of been a tense moment. I could feel that sucking it all back to cope? What you feel like inside? What does your pain look like for you? What happens? What kinds of emotions show up?

How does your body feel after she leaves?

I sure had tears well up- how had someone walk in look her husband and precious children and have cheek. That's a tough you swallow...

Wondering not clear does she live with this om? Have you seen him? Like is she involved with om? What's happening.

Like it's close to Christmas-- really now is the time to soften the heart especially for the kids sake...

I understand.feel your hurt...warm, warm hugs just for you. That's pretty painful encounter.

I am so glad you left the house-drove over to your sister! Right thing to do! Get out-- get a distraction? Hope you had a nice evening and break, with sister.

Hope today you have been able to just get complete bed rest from your injury and hurtful blows from your wife.

Maybe this week will get better, she may just open her heart to you. Would be nice if she did.
She is missing out on a great deal.

Just wanted to check in with you-soooory again for a yucky day, bluesy night. Hope you do something extra special for yourself.

Darlhing- just relax, on the couch, piled up under lots of pillows, blankets, drapes down, tv on, eat lots of popcorn, cookies& milk, tuck a few teddy bears around up, grab some hot water bottles and just hide out!!!! It's all ok...

This isn't the way life is so supposed to be.

Just ZZZZZOoooone out....Veg out...

Thinking about you!
Extra, extra, extra Warmest hugs-- I will check in later see how your doing?

Appreciated those warm hugs back-- I just really needed them, made me feel so much better.

Yes, It's all good! Cauz He said so.
ooxxoo

sky, i've said it before, and i need to say it again,, you are just soooo awesome. You are a real treat, apleasure as well- so to speak,, a blessing.. i'm left quite touched,,, and warmed.

i don't think i'll ever understand why any man could leave you,, you have such wonderful, caring and warming ways within you,, you have that warm/wonderful,, heart. very considerate, and filled with special compassion,,,

with my injuries,, i jumped about 4 feet down, on what i thought was just a shingle laying in the mud. there was a broken 2 inch cement block laying under the shingle,, only a portion of my feel landed on that,, and both ankles snapped. My right leg, it went up into the knee area as well.
and ouch!!! i wasn't able to walk-at all- for about 15 minutes, then i finally made it to my car.

The foreman, offered to carry me, but that left me feeling quite awkward. never been carried by a man, and hoping to never be,,lol can't say i've been carried by a lady neither,,???

Fri morning, the pain and right ankle was actually worse,more into the knee as well- so i made the decision to see the doc,, now i wished i didn't,,,

doc wanted me on pills,, but i'm not a pill taking person. i'm on a 4 day restriction,, tried talking him out of it,, i soo needed to work fri and saturday. now, i have mon off as well. not good.

the pain, still there, but getting better,, and your concern,compassion- i'm soo touched,, i find it quite warming,, yeppers,, inside of my broken/shattered heart. that still keeps on a tickin,, lol you better be careful here dear,, J/k'ing rofl

i really miss you,, and often, my sky buddy-ete. i check daily for you,,, don't alwasy have time to respond soon enough though,, but there's been times i've raced home,, to respond to you,, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

yeppers, i chilled at my sisters for most the eve, when i was ready to leave, they tried insisting i stay and join them for dinner, i left though.


vee's Christams show,, she wore a christmas skirt,green and red plaid, with a off white sweater, and her hair was done with a christmas bow. i had ran to the store, searching for a better prettier outfit, to no avail. the shirt that actually goes with her skirt, apparently is still packed away????


she was stil quite soo pretty stnding up there on stage though,, she was full of smiles,, and she bellered out the words to the songs. quite often she would look my way,, and she managed to sneak in one wave back,, lol

Mon. a.m. i'm asking her teacher if any parent mentioned anything about buying pics?? i had no camera, wasn't able to locate all the required pieces for the camcorder,, so,, as i told vee, we have this etched in our hearts and minds,, and this lasts longer, than any picture.

With W being here,, i tried to keep my emotions in check,, i did notice the hurt was surfacing, and i noticed it in my voice, i tried to sound w/o any emotion, as if i were just making a noise. i did become nervous,, and confused, especially after i was addressed ,,, honey.?

while i was talking about an issue with William, W asked me,, "what do you think it is honey'
I didn't know how to respond, or what to even say, or think,,, so, i opted to act as though it was an every day thing,,,

when the children were ready to go, shoes and coat on,, i hugged them, said see ya,, then i headed to my car and drove off before they actually left. then came back a few minutes later.

I'm not to sure why i allowed/made that decision,,,

my body feels quite tense after she leaves,,
when she arrives, often at first i'm somewhat excited in seeing her.

Sometimes she'll say things, that leaves me uncomfortable, at times it's how and or what she's talking about as well. then she'll notice the pain from me surfacing. i still allow myself to be an emotional person, with my heart on my sleeves,, i'm getting better though. i hope.

Moments later, as i'm accustomed to , she's usually rushing off. except for two weeks ago, she stuck around for an hour,, a first,, and then it reminds me, of where we currentlly are, and i wonder what must be going thru the kids mind, as they wave bye.

i really tried to have the ice cubes flowing thru my veins,, especially after she left,,especially more so after she addressed me as honey? i was left confused. but i didn't respond, react. didn't allow any change, prior to the way i previously was.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Wondering not clear does she live with this om? Have you seen him? Like is she involved with om? What's happening.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">when the first OM was involved, this was back before, and shortly after w left, they ended sometime after w left. Then the 2nd OM, was W's first sons dad,, again. This too ended, after a short time. her children exposed that A.

She has never lived with neither one. The first one, to the best of my knowledge, i never seen him, all 6 of the children have, even before W left.

On williams 3rd B-day, w and the children took William bowling, and this 1st OM was there, along with his daughter.

I didn't know about this, until after w left. I knew they went bowling, and that left me uncomfortable, for the fact it was a B-day, and i wasn't involved. i knew nothing of the idea, nothing was discussed with me.. now, i know why.

i asked W, what does a b-day represent,, a mother and a father, you can't have b-day, if it wasn't for both parents. Her reply,, you had to work,, yeah,, but i don't work 7-24.

My step sons dad,, i haven't seen him, since any of this.

I have requested that my children not be permitted to spend any time with, or around him. He has always took any of our other children with his son's week-end. when i found out about their A, i requested that my children have absolutely no involvement with them, or him. anyhow, that A didn't last too long.

w sent me an e-mail a few weeks later, saying she told him to stay away. ????

yeppers,, tis christmas time. defineatly time for softening the heart.

For awhile i knew w was planning on going to another state for Christmas, and wanted Vee and william for 2 weeks. vee kept saying, daddy, Christmas is family,,,

I finally decided to ask w about her plans, and she confirmed she had thought about it,, adding that she probably won't be going.

I wasn't too sure on if i should-or-could allow her that anyhow.. not that i want to be controlling, as i'm sure this can/will send that message. I wasn't sure about thr trust, and i was also concerned if this was involving another man. If that was the case,. then by no means, would i have allowed the children's involvement. leave them out of it.

**Darlhing-,**
oh-oh, look out here,, you could be "swelling" up my ego,, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> roflmao lol i'm teasing you dear,, really. hoping your dieing with laughter here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

***just relax, on the couch, piled up under lots of pillows, blankets, drapes down, tv on, eat lots of popcorn, cookies& milk, tuck a few teddy bears around up, grab some hot water bottles and just hide out!!!! It's all ok...***

sounds quite interesting,,, and now, i'll take ya up on that, only if,,,, are you ready??? lol,, your there to join me,, lol

***Thinking about you!
Extra, extra, extra Warmest hugs--***

i'm again absorbing those extra extra warm hugs,, from you. and i'll bet they're quite warm too, and special.

***I will check in later see how your doing? ***
i'll let ya know now,, ohh, the pain, the agony,, the misery,, ouch! oh,, i can't stand it,, those pills just don't do the trick,,

as the man continues to whine on,,, ohh, babe, i really could use some hugs about now,, can't you do something,, can't you get me something,,, can't you just treat me as the baby that i'm acting out. rofl

maybe i need some more of that special tlc,, from you.

have a super and wonderful day,,
this is a day God made, be glad in it, and be rejoiceful.

love ya, and heart filled hugs, right back to you, squeezing extra tight-and tighter, and still tighter yet,, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

your friend
stevr

<<<<<<<Stephen>>>>>>>

What can I say??? I am blushing!!! lol... You are such a dear, dear, dear, blessed heart!!! I just love your sincerity and good naturedness.

Your are absoultely the most "sweetest, sweetest sweetest person" and "kindest, kindest, kindest person" I have ever encountered on the planet. You are just a wonderful true "gem" of a human being& blessed child of God.

I have experinced many, many fine wonderful kind GOOD, high caliber people from many walks of life, friendships all over the world. Those precious unique gifts of friendships will occupy a very, very special place in my heart forever. I consider you to be my dear beloved friend.

I can qualify in saying that since I am a globetrotter so to speak. Sincerly meant.

You are such a treasure and true friend!!! I love how you get me to laugh,and can keep up the beat,intense pace rhythum flow with me by communciating- you got stamina. Your a real musician!

Would be nice to see you jamming, and playing with bunch guys in a good band-for the fun, outlet/church,communit. Instead of being home alone. One night out jist for U.

Your just wayyyy to much fun, terrific amounts of great energy that especially needs release. Doesn't mean you have to doing foolish stuff--good healthy energy being with good people, who will bring out the highest best in you, let your talent flow, develop.

You are just so, so,so,so,ooo sweet-have such a heart of true fine gold- your a fine upstanding human being! And such a pleasure to interact with, get to know.

Your just to "kool" for your own good! I truly can understand why Jesus loves you soooo very much! I just love you value system& steadfastness the best.

Clearly, understand why you have been so oppressed. Man child of Adam, if you had the freedom, oppournity, resources, time, to be released to be all who you could just for Jesus our Savior- Man you would light up the dark night skys like brilliant colorful fireworks for HIM and His Glory, grandeur awesome Kingdom to come... Alleulia!!!

Do you understand why you take such intense "heat" and "drought" as you do? Can you connect the dots to the constellations. Your alright dude- you definately have all the "right stuff" there BUCKO. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Yes sir. Uhmmm- I so do understand. Just know in deep down in my heart and in time you'll be "groovin with gravity"--- like where you truly belong, my friend.

However, you too, and you very kind flatteries, you are such a dude! Human being! Definately a MAN, very human, very,very charming person.

I can imagine why do didn't do so well in english-- you were probably too cute, sweet, charming,chatting and warming up all the girls in your classes. Probably, to busy, sidetracted to concentrate on your school work. Working on your err ummm--- public relations skills--- You FOX!!!! But..... I have such sincere tremendous compassion for you all the same!

I really do.... lol, lol, lol. You are a dearheart and good arrow!!! That's a good thing!!! lol

Don't ever lose your firm grip on your compass& sensibilities! You lose your compass and man your lost! I know you know that in your deep heart core! Hold on-it's worth more in heavenly eternal value of real gold.

Beyond this world transcient shallow, hollow stuff that burn to ashes in the end. Can't take it with ya. Somethings your honor, intergity, character, self respect, dignity- good pride--all the riches, prestige, glitz of this poor world can't buy.

Never surrender!!! Hear me NOW... Never SURRENDER!!! Only to Jesus, of all that is right,true, noble, good!

Your top dog man- even all the crap your wife- spins-illusions that your less under her heal-tring convince you just a damaged,broken down junk yard dog hound-tosses you a couple bones every once and awhile. She's on quite a trip.

Likes playing her games with her bad boys-rogues let's them do her thinking for them. Well, thing about bad boys, is alot of them do know all the rules, how to play the game, angles, well enough to slyly get around the game, cheat, fake the cards, as true card mechanic cheat players do.

And when dealing with card mechanic-well the dynamic change- Honest mistake is one thing. Typical, card mechanic's they try to get to watch their hands-or the deck. But it's their wrists you've keep your eye on-keep everything above board. Rule is don't play with a card shark-mechanic.

Use who ever they can get in their dishonest third party collusion tricks-get what they need for so long- then their gone- on to the next game, next dame, who are dark spades with them. Lots of them in that stacked deck. I just get that sense. Dirty poker going on-why I need to comment.

Poker man, it's all about the bluff, smoke screen, taking down who you can and get all you can. Nothing personal, just deep hard core survivalists, trying make through their life. Twisted set of rules. Rules are as the HOUSE always wins, you don't cheat the House.

Stever, I think alot of people just like a fair,honest game of poker, play with good honest people. Just for the good clean fun- no malice, not out to hurt anyone, be stupid. I have enjoyed kickin back playing a few good rounds of poker with my friends and daughter.

Good laughs, fun, enjoy a few beers every once in awile, etc. I am not a gambler, but have enjoyed participating in a few charity events. Am in for winning... I;ll confess i bet on beanie babies as prizes. I don't gamble with my family hearts or family monies either.

Sounds to me your wife-men their are pretty dirty dishonest players. Ummm-seems the game their playing is 2 card guts. The classic rule of poker my friend is don't play with dishonest, dirty players, stacked deck.

Your wife is sadly misinformed and does not understand what she is doing. You just hold on to your cards, you have a good hand, more cards coming your way in the honest clean deck.

With God on your side-it's a royal flush, all hearts, with the GOD His HOUSE Always wins,...Rules is never mess with the DEALER, or the House!!! Dealer takes all.

I mean that no matter what! Big diveands await you my brother. Your bonds will be pay big in heaven! Hold on....it's worth it,and so are you,and your children!!!!

Hope your wife comes to her senses--- collect her deck--- stops playing a dangerous game of messing, harming people. Smoke, mirrors will reflect on her, she will be a very,very sorry woman, and miserable lonely...Or place herself on a pain ferris wheel with alot of other bad men, around, around it goes.

Gamers only hang out for so long--it's all about convienence, they get bored real fast, chase real fast cause the action is where it's act-lots of fresh game at the local bar to start all over.

And what is she going to do? Good men down the road will pass on by...see through her who she truly is! Assure you won't be taking a chance on that bad alley romance with her. She can then remember the good love of good man, and children she tossed away.

My sense is call her bluff,call her hand, tell to play straight with ya-tell her if she going to play with you-play straight- Otherwise you know please don't take this in the wrong spirit.

I know you "WANT" your wife- What cost-if she does not have the love of God in her soul, for you, and her kids.

Truth is a lot of lovely ladies at your church, community, etc. Suffering, good scarificing women, who aren't damaged goods, but possess fine strong loving character women, with a whole lot of love to give you, want to share their love of Christ with you, that you rightly deserve.

Those women that love God enjoy being a wife and mother to your precious kids, would love to merge with you and your children-with God's blessing in His house. Treat you like gold, respect you as you deserve as I am sure you would treat them as gold with a great deal of respect.

Think you've seen enough hurting women here on the board to compare that are standing for their marriages, putting children first, not exposing them or out chasings DOGGS. Put their lord first and kids. Not hung up about themsleves, their lives only revolves around them, jobs, social life and their needs-kids are but secondary cuteys tokens.

So pray about callin your wife hand, ask her what's it going to be nicely Hearts-Heaven-God way or Spades-Hell, it's her game and choice.
Spades- Clock is ticking, she better play straight with you with a straight wrist-fold.
Or just bail& send checks to the kids, be gone with her bad boys.

Hope I am not being to harsh or hurtful here to your tender hurting spirit,& heart. But I needed to clear the air. So please I hope you will not be offended. Sometimes one has to call Bull Sh*t, put their cards all on the table-hold or ya fold. And your wife there is shackin with the wrong jack. Or simply she is a queen of spades and deserves to pair up with a black joker,jack. Perfect pair.

Where does that leave you?

In my opinion, sometimes one just has to walk way-learn not to play with people like that. I just don't respect people who gamble with people hearts, lives especially when those games it hurts, harms children.

Again-hope you will be able to receive my 2cents. for what ever it. Forgive me, in advance if I have said something offensive or come across to strong. I feel for you and your children!

I just your best interest at heart. I don't think things are fair. 2 on 1 isn't fair- you should have a fair chance too. If your convictions with God is to hang on-wait-I totally respect you, and am in your court!

All my love---warmest hugs sky
ooxxoo
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Knock,knock, Moi again!

Wanted to check in and see how are you are feeling today with your ankles/ I just shutter when I read about what happened to you. Sent shockwaves and goosebumps through me. I bet your pain must be very intense in the evenings.

I well remembered how it felt when jumped out of trees, high fences, monkey bars at the wrong angle and the shock, shooting pain, collapes of my ankles when I hit the ground. I shake my head. Sking well I was totally in to speed and could tuck, flow& fly like a rubber band.

Soooo, I hope today is better-putting ice or frozen veggies bag on your ankles at least. Your all propped up with pillows& teddy bears, kids giving you big warm hugs& having some hot milk to settle you, help you calm, sleep through the night.

So don't you take tynol, advil, ibeprohin? Or a good stiff shot of brandy, jack daniels? Used as Medicinal purposes here!

Not sure if you have a health store near by--getting tube of Arnica/Capsicin which is soooo healing for bruises,sprains, ligs injuries.

Not sure if you have any popular trees in your area. If you do any buds are on it-- can collect them to make a resin paste, poultice to on your ankles. The poplin active ingrediants act as natures powerful,powerful pain killer.

Then later you might consider taping your ankles with tape for support. Perhaps, getting a pair of Dr. Schols shoe insert support. Cushioning effect.

You sooo deserve and need tlc right now! I wish your wife would have done that for you!!! Shown some compassion!!!

Gees, today I made up a giant pot of fresh elk stew! Could have shared it you.

i don't think i'll ever understand why any man could leave you,,

Stever, it's a no brainer really- my x was severely damaged prior to us getting together. I did not know, what I did not know. He loved all his "vices" more than God, our children, I.

Actually he really made a huge mistake being with some like my self. I don't do hard drugs,excessive drinkin, insane partyin, swinging. Dislike children..

From his point of view-paradigm I was a terrible wife for him. I am in 100% complete agreement with his view. If one looks at his side--of wanting to medicate, sow his wild oats--well him and I came simply repelled one another.

The hard drugs he indulged himself-the neurological damage takes -1-2 yrs of the brain to repair turn back to normal. Fits he would have in my not permitting him/friends to medicate himself in our home, in front of the children. Outraged him.

Can't tell you how many parties I had walked out of& long walks home, or cabs taken--refusal to particpate. As for his attempts to set me up with his friends to swing with. Well, I blocked& adverted all that nonscence out. Not what I am about!!! So it's really easy. I am not his kind of woman. I am glad. Unresolved traumas and hard medicating messes up the mind.

I belive in moderation, abstenince, good morals, positive fun. I love my God and my children to much. His anger is that I would not follow him down to levels he wanted. I would follow him down only sub safely levels so far to help him-get him help, on track. Blows his mind. Hope that clarifys that one for you. He's happy now- has the women, friends that totally indulge with him.

He has the that right to do what ever he wants, with whom ever. The right to liberty, happiness, freedom. Just not with me.


Stever, are you sure you haven't broken your ankles???

The foreman, offered to carry me, but that left me feeling quite awkward. never been carried by a man, and hoping to never be,,lol can't say i've been carried by a lady neither,,???

What you got carried away by another man? Is there something I should know? lol.. YOu must of been in tremendous excruiting pain. The foreman did the right thing and knew how much you hurt. Ahhhh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

doc wanted me on pills,, but i'm not a pill taking person. i'm on a 4 day restriction,, tried talking him out of it,, i soo needed to work fri and saturday. now, i have mon off as well. not good .

What kind of pills? Pain killers? I am sorry you are losing that wages. That will hurt. Obiviously, God wants you to rest and take it easy. Protecting you spiritual, mental health. Only way to keep you down. Accidents happen. Not implying God did it- but their is a purpose to everything. Reason.


the pain, still there, but getting better,, and your concern,compassion- i'm soo touched,, i find it quite warming,, yeppers,, inside of my broken/shattered heart

Stever, you such an easy person to be concerned for! I do have compassion. Your just sweet& kind.
You know your heart seems to be mending, your spirits every day gets brighter. You are making terrific headway... I am glad your ticker is still ticking. In fact your heart is a lot stronger, healthier than most people. Your a heart/smart kind of guy.

[b]. that still keeps on a tickin,, lol you better be careful here dear,, J/k'ing rofl[/b]

I am confused-your telling me to be careful? your j/k rolf.... Goooodness me you are a hurting unit. In delerium pain.

i really miss you,, and often, my sky buddy-ete. i check daily for you,,, don't alwasy have time to respond soon enough though,, but there's been times i've raced home,, to respond to you,,

Nice thing to say--I am very touched to my heart! You so sweet, and always say such sweet thoughtful things. I really miss too. You are my bud. Ahhh am touched you to hear to enjoy connecting. I value your friendship, look forward in hearing from you and your news. It's always a nice thing to have mail. Sort of exciting isn;t it something to look forward to, nice to blow off some steam, nice to know were not alone in our broken hearts.


yeppers, i chilled at my sisters for most the eve, when i was ready to leave, they tried insisting i stay and join them for dinner, i left though .

Thrilled for you-- ahhh how nice your sister wanted to take care of her brother. Why did you not have dinner with them enjoy your self, their company, laugh, lighten your load? What did you want to go home to? After an unpleasant encounter with your wife. Thats what sister are for aren;t they to care for their brothers?


vee's Christams show,, she wore a christmas skirt,green and red plaid, with a off white sweater, and her hair was done with a christmas bow. i had ran to the store, searching for a better prettier outfit, to no avail. the shirt that actually goes with her skirt, apparently is still packed away????

Awesome-- she sounds like all dressed up so beautifully- How touching you to run out and get her a new outfit. What was wrong with what she had on? Prefect colors for christmas--- Your a sweet dad to go shopping! I am so touched! Nice touch with the bow!!! Ooooooh la, la-- World meet Ms. Vee--She would looked beauitful....

she was stil quite soo pretty stnding up there on stage though,, she was full of smiles,, and she bellered out the words to the songs. quite often she would look my way,, and she managed to sneak in one wave back,, lol

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> laughing away, delighted--she is beautiful little girl. Love her cute nose, eyes, golden locks.. I love her using the power of her voice. Atta girl. FREEDOM OF SPEECH-she is exceresing her democratic God rights. Cute, she did sneak a wave. Right on!!!! lolo

Mon. a.m. i'm asking her teacher if any parent mentioned anything about buying pics?? i had no camera, wasn't able to locate all the required pieces for the camcorder,, so,, as i told vee, we have this etched in our hearts and minds,, and this lasts longer, than any picture.
Hope they do have photos-I am sure some of parents will for sure. I kool in letting her know about the memories being etched in your minds. That's beauitful-You just have such a special way about you with your children in making it all better.... SWEET! Well done pops!


With W being here,, i tried to keep my emotions in check,, i did notice the hurt was surfacing, and i noticed it in my voice, i tried to sound w/o any emotion, as if i were just making a noise. i did become nervous,, and confused, especially after i was addressed ,,, honey.?

You are so tuned in--- of course there would be surface emotions in your voice-you are only human. You know flip this over. How would she have felt if you were doing this to her?

I understand-I would feel nervous, confused, little virtigo-- sounds like you had a mini panic attack. NORMAL. YOUR HUMAN!

while i was talking about an issue with William, W asked me,, "what do you think it is honey'

Well, it would strange wouldn't it- I bet you were numb. Glad you kept your cool-took it in stride.

when the children were ready to go, shoes and coat on,, i hugged them, said see ya,, then i headed to my car and drove off before they actually left. then came back a few minutes later.

Ahhh--sweet nice hugs-Your such a wonderful dad.
Wait lost ya-who drove them home? Sounds like you were excited for Vee and mixed overwhelmed emotions. Flooded feeling- like flooding the carb. Stress does wierd things to the body.


my body feels quite tense after she leaves,,

No kidding your body would be tense-tight light a top- shows how you absorb all the negative tensions, hits you are taking to your spirit. The excitement I can understand- You still have deep feeling for her--- HOPE!!! That;s PERFECTLY OK...


Sometimes she'll say things, that leaves me uncomfortable, at times it's how and or what she's talking about as well. then she'll notice the pain from me surfacing.

Of course the pain is going to surface-where is it going to go when she is hurting you? Your just human, and normal!!!

i still allow myself to be an emotional person, with my heart on my sleeves,, i'm getting better though. i hope.

I like your so in touch with your self-self aware of what's going on inside? Were always that self aware in attuned??? Hard to deal with our emotions, as we need them, takes time to disconnect or shift to 1 gear... Hope you can excuse your self--- make up excuse--- go into the basement breathe, breathe, breathe deeply... Just the nerves collecting.

Moments later, as i'm accustomed to , she's usually rushing off. except for two weeks ago, she stuck around for an hour,, a first,, and then it reminds me, of where we currentlly are, and i wonder what must be going thru the kids mind, as they wave bye.

Well---- what ever---- I just don't like what she is doing. Not fair--- but your handling the entire situation wonderfully. It must be so hard to have her around- frustrating not to be able resolve the issues.. That would be irriatating.

i really tried to have the ice cubes flowing thru my veins,, especially after she left,,especially more so after she addressed me as honey? i was left confused. but i didn't respond, react. didn't allow any change, prior to the way i previously was .

I have been there ice cube flow- the hurt they cause. Maybe you should call her honey, back and then some- she how she reacts....

What would you have liked to have done-let;s roll out the fantasy. Just for the heck it, stress release. What would like her to do-- make a new tape. How would like her to respond behave-what would say to her????
quote:

when the first OM was involved, this was back before, and shortly after w left, they ended sometime after w left. Then the 2nd OM, was W's first sons dad,, again. This too ended, after a short time. her children exposed that A.

She sure has issues-sounds like a confused person. I wonder who breaks the relationships off??? Weird. Doesn't it all hurt-the swords thrusts with each affair- Oh I felt so winded. It hurt.

She has never lived with neither one. The first one, to the best of my knowledge, i never seen him, all 6 of the children have, even before W left.

Sad---what is she doing? Expose them like to the children is pretty sad.

On williams 3rd B-day, w and the children took William bowling, and this 1st OM was there, along with his daughter.

Sooo heartbreaking- I don't know how you endured that, she sounds so immature. To expose the kids like that. Triggers my friends calling me the summer before seeing my stbx at time with another woman at the bowling alley with 2 kids.

Turned out my x was seeing/sleeping with his 3 cousin. That made me soooo sick. Caught him with 2 prior affairs. Then he tried to get my daughter to visit accept his cousin at his friend house.

Well my daughter gave him a blast. It was so sick, perverse. I stood up to him, and his friend lets say I wasn't very diplomatic.

I didn't know about this, until after w left. I knew they went bowling, and that left me uncomfortable, for the fact it was a B-day, and i wasn't involved. i knew nothing of the idea, nothing was discussed with me.. now, i know why.


Hope you tolerate this behavior? I feel sooooo veryyy sorry for you. THis is hell. You poor dear!


i asked W, what does a b-day represent,, a mother and a father, you can't have b-day, if it wasn't for both parents. Her reply,, you had to work,, yeah,, but i don't work 7-24.

She has serious, serious, problems.... I am sorry.

I didn't know about this, until after w left. I knew they went bowling, and that left me uncomfortable, for the fact it was a B-day, and i wasn't involved. i knew nothing of the idea, nothing was discussed with me.. now, i know why.

Nice person- beautiful-what she has done-just beautiful. Does she do drugs? Like something is seriously malfunctioning here?

I have requested that my children not be permitted to spend any time with, or around him. He has always took any of our other children with his son's week-end. when i found out about their A, i requested that my children have absolutely no involvement with them, or him. anyhow, that A didn't last too long.

Good request--- I can't see why ws can't let the kids go-stop dragging them into the slime zone. I am so happy your children have you to protect them, souls!!! Sorry sounds like your wife there is very determined to drag her kids down to her level of corruption. How sad.

w sent me an e-mail a few weeks later, saying she told him to stay away. ????

Well, she did someting right. She sounds like a very, very weak person.

For awhile i knew w was planning on going to another state for Christmas, and wanted Vee and william for 2 weeks. vee kept saying, daddy, Christmas is family,,,

Pooorr Vee-POOOOR william-- Poor all of you....


I wasn't too sure on if i should-or-could allow her that anyhow.. not that i want to be controlling, as i'm sure this can/will send that message. I wasn't sure about thr trust, and i was also concerned if this was involving another man. If that was the case,. then by no means, would i have allowed the children's involvement. leave them out of it.

Stever, how did she get so dysfunctional? This is sooo said-she is on so many levels deteriment to the children well being. What's wrong with her?

**Darlhing-,**

Well, if you were to know me in person I talk like that all the time-- Just how I am-who I am. I am comfortable be myself. Ahhhhh----

***just relax, on the couch, piled up under lots of pillows, blankets, drapes down, tv on, eat lots of popcorn, cookies& milk, tuck a few teddy bears around up, grab some hot water bottles and just hide out!!!! It's all ok...***

sounds quite interesting,,, and now, i'll take ya up on that, only if,,,, are you ready??? lol,, your there to join me,, lol
Whaaat you are a scream, and soooo naughty.... lolo--- your funny dude. Such a human being
and MAN---You know I can sense your frustration.
Your just human.

I am shaking my head laughing. In fact if you hadn't hurt your ankles- made cheeky shots at me like that. I tell you your busted. I would tell uto do 50 jumping jacks, 50 push ups, 15 minute jog. Breathes... To get calmed down. What is this wife of your doing to your hormones? Must torture!!!!..lol..lol,lol...your funny guy. Must be rough.....

* i'm again absorbing those extra extra warm hugs,, from you. and i'll bet they're quite warm too, and special.

Well you just absorb my extra hugs--cause you need the energy of good vibrations.


**I will check in later see how your doing? *** as the man continues to whine on,,, ohh, babe, i really could use some hugs about now,, can't you do something,, can't you get me something,,, can't you just treat me as the baby that i'm acting out. rofl

Your funny, your sooooo very,very naughty, and prankster!!! Yes, you have every reason to whine-soooo whine away cause you are hurting unit.... so dare I ask what do you want to me bring you? Okkkkk, now---- calm down---breathe, big deep breathes, thats it. Now pick up your energy, wrap your arms around yourself, and let out a gian t deep breathe and hug your self tightly, as tight as you can, tell GOd you love him, and your self!!!! Have a good cold ice drink of water... chilll babe!!! lol...

Come on now--simmer down you, center in, bring it down, your going to beeeeee just fine.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

For the love of God--- I am sending your extra, extra, extra warm, warmm warm hugs. You need them!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

All my love,
xxooxx
Sky

maybe i need some more of that special tlc,, from you.

have a super and wonderful day,,
this is a day God made, be glad in it, and be rejoiceful.

love ya, and heart filled hugs, right back to you, squeezing extra tight-and tighter, and still tighter yet,,

your friend
stevr

good morning sky,

.

they are soo much better. still with some pain especially when i'm up and around. Goback to the doc this morning.


.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You sooo deserve and need tlc right now! I wish your wife would have done that for you!!! Shown some compassion!!!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">would have involved giving, to me. she used to be caring, i think. anyhow, wishful thinking lol

broken ankles- not too sure, doc said i may have a small fracture, no x-rays were taken.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Gees, today I made up a giant pot of fresh elk stew! Could have shared it you.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i sure would have enoyed. and thank you.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stever, it's a no brainer really-,,,</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">from what little i knew, from what and how you've said a few things, i was left wondering if there was drugs and or alcohol involved.

yeah, the paradigm thing,,,my w's paradigm is filled with the negative, about me. thats all she hears/sees. regardless. there is nothing good about me, including my parenting, devotion,,,totally nothing. she turns soo much into how she wants to see it. it's at times very confusing.


after reading what you have said here, about your h's issues, lifestyle,, first- this guy is in some need. and his need is his personal/selfish fix.

anyhow, one of my personal struggles, having to do with wedding vows, and a promise. I did promise, and my promise involved the part with for better and for worse, thru sickness and in health,,,

now, i struggle with all of this. how does one get to Dv, when you can't find it inside? how can i submit this into my children's hearts? and tell them it's all godd,,, and the message i'll be sending to them, is just the extreme opposite of what i'm truly about,,how?


*I suppose i wasn't being to open minded when i said i can't understand how a man could leave you. sometimes i'am straight and narow minded, looking thru my vision only, the way my lifestyle is, do you know what i mean?


with having these days off,, yeah, God has, and will continue to provide, i'am sure of that. so- it's all good.


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am confused-your telling me to be careful? your j/k rolf.... Goooodness me you are a hurting unit. In delerium pain.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yeah, so see, i was in need of tlc. lol


with my sisters, and leaving w/o dinner- i was just tired, ready for some of that zoning.
they've been going thru some serious issues for the past few months, having to do with a man, 16 year old, and a 6 year old boy.

My niece- she abonded her two children for over a year, and she's currently in a very bitter break-up- her children have been yanked to and fro for about 2 years now. it's depressing.

the guy wants to resolve things, but he has some totally serious issues, my niece, she only wants to continue going thru men as if they were all replaceable, and are/were just her toys. And the most of them are nothing but partiers, and then some. she too has some real issues,, and the children are being literally slapped by both parents.

My sister and her H, they both are soo stressed out, they were served with papers, and have a court date this Fri,,, they both have dropped weight as if the faucet was opened full valve.


***Wait lost ya-who drove them home?
no, i drove off in my car, alone. I wanted/needed to leave here before w left. That was how i needed to deal with this. It stilldoesn't feel comfortable, when it's the visiting week-end. a reminder of whats now, you know? so, to subdue the hurt, i needed to drive off first,, probably sort of crazy,,,

Last night when she dropped them off, i rushed out, told them we has to go someplace, and we headed to my car and again, drove off.

This way, when W does her usuall rushing off, it doesn't bother me-as much as itwould if i remained here,,, am i making sense?

I really don't want this to continue bothering me, but i'm aware that it is,, so- i just need to leave, before she does, ---for now.

I sent her an e-mail asking about the "honey."
i seen her reply this morning, saying she honestly can't recall using that term "honey"

surfacing pain/hurt,,, i tried to keep it within,, wasn't sure if it was possible, but i was willing/wanting to try.

I've been labeled narcisstic, passive,,,having to do with allthe accusations, and whatever-
so for awhile i thougth maybe i was so far out of it,, or confused, or something. ??? thinking it was possible to keep things inside,,
i do know better, but for awhile i was only with doupts.


***She sure has issues-sounds like a confused person. I wonder who breaks the relationships off???***

a few years ago i was asking her first sons dad questions about his and my W R, after the way he was treated, he left scared. from the maybe 13-14 R she's been involvbed in, the majority she leaves them.


***Sad---what is she doing? Expose them like to the children is pretty sad.***

w has always been concerned about her appearance, prior to going to any store, wouldn't wear dirty, or pants with holes.

When they were bowling, she wore a pair of pants with hole in the seat. at one time she bent over, made the comment about her hole, as this guy was standing behind her.

His comment was XXXXXXX, your hole isn't that big, as they both broke into laughter. My oldest daughter shared this with me a few days after they went bowling.

The older childsren, were confused, as they expressed certain cioncerns with me, including both my step-children.

My step son, told both of them what they're doing is wrong,,, blah blah. Then when she began seeing his dad again, he agin told them it was wrong, adding again that i was her husband, and i(step-son speaking) was his dad.


.

***Well my daughter gave him a blast. It was so sick, perverse. I stood up to him, and his friend lets say I wasn't very diplomatic.***

that was sick,, and way to go. sometimes we just need to stand up. this guy,, maybe i shouldn't say this, but it's good he's gone.


S***he has serious, serious, problems.... I am sorry.***

something i've always said, something isn't right.
i'm not referring to the marital issues, arguements neither.

she has always lied, but when i first noticed this, after about a year of knowing her, i blew them off, cuz the majority i thought were those little lies, harmless lies,, now i'm with a different thought.

w/ the exception of a few, especially when she accused me of attempting to poison her. and she was soo serious. i still -just from thinking about it- can remember the fear i was feeling.

after she left, those lies continued, but they changed in some sort of character assisination depth/ways. rape, this can't even be found in my thoughts. Hiding behind buildings, never been my character,, and i'm aware some of her actions and such, are her poison, therefor the results will be that normal script fog talk,,, still, it was confusing.

*** Does she do drugs? Like something is seriously malfunctioning here?***

No! when i first met her, then some months later,,, i remember saying to her. when i first met you, you were as sweet as a rose, now i'm with impression your that rose filled with thorns.

Probably wasn't too nice to say, but it was the truth. she ahs a way of puring on ther charm, but at the same time, with the true potential of being the extreme opposite.

Shortly after she left, i asked her one day if she ever noticed if there was like two of me. I was trying to open doors-pertaining to the two of ehr i'd see. at times it was as if she was that Dr. heckyl Mr hyde.

She's lied to me alot about her past and such,,, i didn't know this, until after she left though. I spoke with her mom, and some of ehr past men in her life,, read some court papers,,, read her journal.

in her ournal, she spoke of her A during ehr first M, and she was asking what would her H think, if he knew he was married to a (not sure if i can use these words in here) but having to do with a street corner.

I learned that she would lie to her then b/f, pour mil;k down the drain, lieing-- to make arrangements to go meet her new lover. and she would bundle up their daughter, who was 2 i think, something was mentioned about the baby bottle as well- anyhow, she'd place her in the stroller, walk the 5 miles to town, even in the dead of winter,,,

at another site in involved in, and with,, there is a guy talking to me about JC,, i've tried sharing some,, sky,, i just can't find it, and can't become comfortable with agreeing with JC.

I accept the fact that she is their mom,, but i'm nervous with this thought.

and the blame,, there has always been everybody else at fault, and to blame, and not once, has she ever thought/felt, or accepted any of it. with any issue what-so-ever.

I used to share with her, that she sure knows how to create an issue, then to blame so well. and i'd add, then you don't know what to do, so you just find another issue to creat.

after i told her that, she broke down and cryed, i held her, she held me, and for awhiel things were better. then,, eventually, they resumed back.

**8Stever, how did she get so dysfunctional? This is sooo said-she is on so many levels deteriment to the children well being. What's wrong with her?***

from what she has said in our begining, i used to think she just never was treated nice, and or really loved. Now, i'm with a much different thought. I'm only that 25 cent professional, as i'm thinking about Lucy from the peanuts,,lol

but,, something isn't right.

and the projection,, man, and this used to be quite confusing. I've enver been anything remotely close to a controller, other than of the healthy norm of things, if you turn this around, then you've got it.

lately i've been reading about the personality borderlines,,, so much of this actually fits, at times i'm with impression all of it fits. yet, i wonder if it's fitting cuz i'm looking for something,, you know?

when she fist began accusing me of being manipulative, i was very confused. I have always been open, and honest. I'd say things in a neautral way, if needed and if it fit. manipulating and I, we don't get along.


***Whaaat you are a scream, and soooo naughty.... lolo--- your funny dude. Such a human being
and MAN---You know I can sense your frustration.
Your just human.***

i was after your laughter,, darhling,, lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I am shaking my head laughing.

never tried the jumping jacks and such,, but i seriously doupt that would work, know what i mean,, lol besides, you brought it out in me. rofl


***Your funny, your sooooo very,very naughty, and prankster!!! Yes, you have every reason to whine-soooo whine away cause you are hurting unit.... so dare I ask what do you want to me bring you? Okkkkk, now---- calm down---breathe, big deep breathes, thats it.
Come on now--simmer down you, center in, bring it down, your going to beeeeee just fine....***

well it sure wasn't my own arms wrapped around myself roflmao

it was some of your, umm -thinking,, thinking some more,,, oh yeah, your tea you make. ha ha lol

have a wonderful and fabulous day,, make it that glorious day. Remember, someone loves ya,,God loves ya. hugs,,

time i get my children rised and shined.

stever

Stever, a pleasant rise& shiny morning to you!

I am glad to know that your feeling better. You sound so much better. I hope your visit to your doctor today is a much better day. Yes, I hope your ankles are e-xrayed. Sounds like fractures would be present. Do let me know what he has to say???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Yes, my x life is complicated- I wake up this morning relieved that I have completed the endurance course. Feels so warm and good. At this moment I feel very good to know before God I have honored my covenant. Unbelivable looking back to see how far I come with God. I don't know how I managed. He is so awesome.

My girlfriend called me the other day- and her husband grew up with my x- saw my x the other day with his new woman he is shacked up with from his high school days. Viper behind the scenes operating in collision with him, in the shadows wrapped around my ankles.

Anyways, he told my girlfriend after seeing them. He told her" what he threw me away for that thing". He said the ow she looked so, so old and yucky. And their friends that hang out with my x/ow said all she does is nag,nags, nags,constantly, bosses him around, possesive & controlling.

So I am naughty, laugh, laugh, laugh!!! The case is closed. Funny, when such comments come from my x own peers. I have learned a great deal. Feel it has been quite a journey. This ow must be showing severe stress after what she/x had instigated.

But ahhhh, no longer the x, his weird warped world colides anylonger into my life. I have peace, no longer assaulted, bruised, etc.

The interesting thing is a new friend-friend of my girlfriend husband, hang at particular bar. My x is now always showing up-now a complete annoyance. He has lost a great deal of respect from his own peers.

At that this bar-gotten to know this younger man,through our mutual friends. Younger version of himself, talented musician, has a great job, home, lovely wife, children. Such loving strong family values, very active in his wife, children lives. Treats them like gold. As he should.

Short story-- this person is good man, model positive healthy, attitudes is a constant reminder to my x- all that he could of been, had, the problem was himself. Thorn in his side now all the time.

Mirror now shines in his face constantly of goodness, one does not need to live in extreme destructivness& excessess. His "gripe' sour grapes.He must live is my role throughout his life was to love him, and help him to be a better man.

So sad my x had every opportunity with record companies, right people, which I helped with, to make himself, on the north american record industry, be good husband, father, humanitartian, Glorify GOD/others with his blessed gifts,talents.

Silence is golden--so are mirrors, God spirit shows up in the most unusal places. I guess through failures, my x will learn one day. The problem was between He& God, no longer me to blame.

All his attempts to corrupt/destroy me, and our precious children, value system is over. HISTORY. But for him--a legacy of his own tragic ruin plays on. Even though I have helped him to pick up his face so many times, retry, assist him to succeed in gaining a great career for him. It will never be the same.

The children & I have future in Christ. I have enough of God love in my heart-to pray for him, close the door, forever on him. Until his repentance.

This will hurt him deeply. He thought we could be friends, I would sow my oats to speak, come back, the start the entire dysfunctional sinful cycle all over again. But for his sake, our children I must hold him "accountable" for his sake of his salvation. Silent, withdrawl. Only thing that will save him in the end since he gone in the deep end.

The word of God is very clear- not to have anything to do bad company. I must obey God. According to the word of God- it was never my responiblity to shoulder the load. He that was to show me, and our children the manifestation of Christ love. Failed.

With all the labeling out there boils down to two things either a person is sick, needs help and sin. The manifestation of sin, only produces bizarre crazy life.

I have lived a sad tragic childhood life and never used it as an "EXCUSE" to act out destructively or loosey/goosey. Or act out with adultery. Lots of opportunity in my face. I have chosen when addressed with challenges from my past, or problems to seek help resolve conflict in civial mature way.

Not that I am a better person than my x-superior to him- he has many fine qualities too, but we made different choices. I just made different choices. We all have our foibles-but all resovlable in Christ Jesus.

I only wished I had a good pastor to turn to-as opposed to pyschologists, etc. One can't be negligent with children, people lives.

They may be very nice people, but not effective- there systems lose people more, offer little hope, they don't have God's blueprints, salvation, for sin, repentance, restoration, santification, or POWER.

Grace system-brings healing, miracles, fullfillment of marriage, family life that last a life time. As we know only God has the POWER TOOLS to get the job done!

It's all about the choices... many people make mistakes, take a wrong turn in life, return back to GOD. This is the most important factor here. Where we must forgive, restore. Great Grace!!!

Your wife is pretty messed, and obvious has alot unresolved issues that sadly she could'nt resolve with God. More and more complications. The cords of sin bind tightly.

I can clearly see that your tragic up-bringing has shaped, molded and made you a very strong, tolerant, patient person. Sort of a training ground. Without that sad foundation, most people would of collasped along time ago.

Your precious children there would be without knowledge, wisdom of how to construct life bridges to GOD and how to walk over them. Your teaching them all about bridge building. Think your wife models to your children of everything wrong not to do.

Have a better day-getting rest.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

As for my tea recipe....Happy to share.

8-slices of fresh sliced ginger,
10-peppercorns,
15-cloves,
20-green cardamom pods,
6-8-dried cinnamon sticks,

Place in a giant pot of fresh cold water. Bring to boil& simmer for a couple of hours. One can drink this tea in this state hot/or cold.

Next part- strain the tea- into a smaller medium size pot. Add whole milk-like a 1/2cup full- or adjust to taste. Bring to a simmering boil. Shut off-add a black tea bag-let steep. Pour a cup, add some honey... Enjoy. Refrig-after cooling. I use a glass jug. Later take out what one needs. Reheat-add milk, or no milk.


With the other ingrediants one can refill the pot with cold water and reboil. Makes two good giant pop fulls. Enough aromatic oils. The entire house smells so awesome!!! The tea is fantastic-good for digestive disorders, bronchitis-overall comfort, well being!

Thanks for all the warm hilarious, laughs and hugs... Remember to hug yourself- give God, his wonderful angels and yourself a big hug... God likes hugs back to.

Send back some good loving to our wonderful lord, company, your precious kids.

Love you,
Talk later,
ooxxoo

good morning sky,

been a few days,,,

i was wondering when you- or 'if' you were ever going to offer and share your tea recipe,, lol

my children like tea, so i'll soon be making, and i'm sure we'll be enoying.

not sure what happened, but i just remembered- i replied to your last reply,, and it's not here?

after reading what you shared, i was left wondering- how a person can take so advantage of one being nice,,, its like they allow the shadow boxing, to become in some sort of reversed inside out way??
i realize i may be just lost within my own thoughts here,, sorry.
trying to explain,,
with my W, i was devoted, and nice,,(not always nice) and it's like this drives here in some sort of backwards inside out way, even with the hate. -before she even decided to leave the marrige, and up til now.

We phoned

oh no,, out of time,,

Good morning-Buddy Holly...
Tis the season-I am awake--my son is finally sleeping. So that's a good thing. We have such long chats-at all erratic times.

Mega attention time for my mom last several days,4 days in a row. She needed to get dancing, and my dogs. We had so fun clowning around.

Of course my daughter & son-inlaw have all been here. Report back is they " like" being married to another. So life is good. This is not a good month for us--a very sensitive time.

Have half my Christmas stuff out. My son inlaw informs he is "freaked" out by nutcrakers. I have quite a collection of them. Since he is part of the family I need to be considerate of his quirks/quarks. He is sooo far more important than ornaments.

Time to lower gear all the expectations until we pass through. Lord willing by the third season we hopefully will be up to speed. Calm, relax, eazzzy Christmas with our focus on Him, one another. Last the two---well have been exceedingly difficult.

As for not being able to have your post on. I am not surprised there seems to be lots of snags& glitches on cyber world, probably high volume usage.

Takes all year, almost the end of the year for people to open their festive hearts. Well not everyone. Some have coal in that spot.

Wondering how you were doing with your recovery??? Thought you would be pretty busy with your kids!!! They must be so excited!!! Bursting like jelly beans!

Happy you have the tea recipe or rather "Chai". Glad to know your chicklets enjoy tea. It really is delicious. The whole milk really makes rich& healthy. I have been making that tea since my babes were babes. Soothing for teething, croup, upset tummies, digestion, bronch, colds, flu, feel better tonic.

Let me know the results...

Heck, you can put the entire ingrediants right back into a fry paying, with rice, peas, cooked chicken, etc with butter(gee) clarified. Fry it up. Add a bit of chicken stock, a good big dash tumeric for yellowish color. Cut up some fresh diced, tomatoes for color. Uncurry--- some kids, as they typically have a strong dislike for curry. Adds a bright cheery, christmas touch, glow... dish.

I used to make a vegetarian no flour crust pizza, quiche to go along with it. Serve that rice dish alot. When my son had all his allergies to wheat& milk, my did I have quite a challenge on my hands.

Hope you are getting adequate rest.

Hope your doing some nice thing nice for your self, and kids enjoying having you at home. It's almost Christmas, wow!!! Are we there yet???

Your so right about the shadow boxing part. Such a shame- but what can one do. Other than repair my own wounds. God has a bigger design here within our family dynamics that I don't understand. One day, folds across like a page, chapter by chapter it leads. I am responible for handling this God's way.

Not easy though when one world caves in one day. As you know so well, these crisis don't appear in parts. But wholes. I suspose it's about taking the crisis apart, with God involved, setting up a biblical plan to deal with the elements and restructing our lives back. Isn't it great God is so involved working out such magnificent details. His ways are so much higher than others.

It's all about choices, responses and how I resolve this.

Hope, peace, love, joy, and understanding bonds you all closer in your family together in His Love! The babe who did it all for us!!! Did you ever imagine you would get so close in your relationship with Christ--

Shine on--Hugs,
sky...

Good morning Sky,
i volunteered at chush yesterday, filled 60 andy bags for the hildren for services this morning,,

the children and I bought 2 new Christmas videos, and a gingerbread house. So, we watched Christmas shows, made the gingerbread house, and we also ate root beer floats,,

thats my type of rewards, i gain quite a bit warmth, watching my children with smiles,,, such pleasure,, at least some times.lol

with my ankle, not sure what to think anynore, the pain actually has became more??

as for being close to Jesus, for quite some time i always have been, for awhile, i slipped back, and so on and so on. With W and the children, we used to always make it to church, then as time went by, it was just me and the children,,,
now with the W gone, it's still the children and myself. Regardless though, still each and evry day, i can only become that much closer,,,

I still feel though, i'm quite aways away fromwhere i should or need to be. I know quite a bit, don't match the walk and talk together though, and i can not seem to ever pull out the where's,, like where this paticular scripture is,,,

I need to run again, my youngest 2 needs bathing-before we head out to church.


have a marvelous wonderful and glorious day,,

hugs w/ love

stever

Hi Steve

Just wrote you a post-it disappeared when I hit reply. Hummm-seems I will have to writing in my word program. A shame to lose it all. Oh well as it happens.

So just a short reply- congrats on having a wonderful christmas spirit filled time! Glad you be the candy inspector sampling the goodies. You know making sure that everything is up to par. lol. Awesome-sounds like your having a blast...I am so happy for you.

Awesome-two new christmas movies, gingerbread house, and rootbear floats-- my you and your children sure have the spirit, and can party! Right on!!! I rejoice!

YOu are being such a wise, wise papa and savvy, smart ceo of your household. All this time you are investing into your children now---- is such a reward and will bring even more rewards to come in the future, kindgom come.

I feel so sad though for many men that don't understand, are not on the programme missing out.

Thing is they can't reclaim the back time. Back peddle- Reality will be the kids will be grown. To late to experince all that lost love.

They won't have all those good, glowing, heartfelt "joyous" moments to look back on.

That is very tragic... Sad yet my compassion goes to the many heartbeat dads who can't be with their kids, who want to be--it's really hurting them.

You are blessed, rich, rich, man, building quite a nice treasure chest of real value of genuine real" golden" memories, good times with your kids. Mr. DADDY O-because God says SO!!!

You my friend, will be dancing yet again with your kids, doing the frolicking snow ball-ball room blitz. Let the good times roll! Definately are at your house!!!! I just love hearing all that good stuff! It's just so sparkley, glistening, joyfully, wonderful! Rite on!

As for your ankles I imagine your not staying off your feet either, hence more pain. Your such a dude Man. You guys... the words like rest, ice, elavate, recover... must sound like foreign language.

Words like Eeeeeeeeeeeasy--- Chillll---- Settle down now-----------Relaxxxxxxx
must mean what????


Sad when spouses drop off church-- I understand how you must feel. I feel your pain. I felt so sad- my x tweaked from church attendance for 10 yrs. Well it shows up-- my x though didn't want me to attend-clause I couldn't either spend the time with him, so not worth contention& strife either. Enjoyed what I could. God keep my faith going even if I was silent.

I am 10 yrs behind missing fellowship, and my kids. I understand. Anyways, I am doing a lot of catch up. Enjoy my freedom, to listen to bible broadcasts, read my bible talk freeely to my kids. Pray openly. I didn't bring up God, and respected my x unbeliver biblical and human rights. Kept my faith thoughts to myself/with GOD.

I understand what you mean-with trying to locate scriptures. May I suggest a good condordance- I have a STRONG's-- easy referece to look up a word locate a scriptures I am studing or topic I am doing in my self studies. Takes the frustration out--- for busy people.

Thankyou, for your kind words of good tidings! May you have a glorious, wonderful, splendid, dashing, blitzen, happy, super charged day of joy in Christ!

Remember to have give yourself a big tight warm hug today, and GOD... of course your children!

Eeeeeeeeeeeasy, Relaxxxxxxxxxx, OoooKKKKKKKKK
Christ Love,
my love
Sky

good mornin' miss sunshine!

yeppers, those words, like rest, ice, elavate, recover... must sound like foreign language.
What language are these words anyhow? lol

Besides, thet say there's no rest for the wicked,,, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Vee tried calling her mom again yesterday. hours later the phone rang. vee asked if she could,,, the repky was-maybe you should this and that,,,

left Ve actually discouraged. Then i was informed from W that she'll need to talk to her mom, seeing if it's ok for Vee and William to come over,,???????????

I'm left discouraged, and even quite bothered. right where it touched the most.

I ended up calling W back, asking/offering-whatever- for our children to spend 2 weeks,,,
the reply was, maybe they should spend Christmas weve and day with me, at their aunt's. I mentioned how Christmas is about giving, and about family. Seems how mine is and will be broken, the next best thing i can do- is offer allow or whatever applies, for them to be together.

The reply was, maybe i should talk to you when you're in a better mood,,,
(yeah, the mood is suppose to be all happy, right? How can one really be happy, when their children express their missing, sad, their pain,,, ??? How?_)

Don't take me wrong, we are always trying, yet we sometimes struggle, and maybe even fail.

She proceeded to tell me she has to be out of town on certain days, job related- and she'll need to ask her mom,,,

She is suppose to call me this eve, informing me what her mom had to say, in regards to the children being there for the 2 weeks,,,

anyhow, enough of the blues.

I


I'm in the process of helping with-from another site i'm involved in.
I sent e-mails to the govenor, and our state representative,,,encouraging a Proclamation declaring Sept. 15 as Marriage Fidelity Day in Michigan.

Now im trying to brainstorm with the idea, including how, where, when,,,>> talking to my cousin who is a country music performer.

Country for a cause
Dave Caley

hoping to acquire his help,,,???


At this other site, i'm also in like sort of a debate pertaining to JC,,,

LAst night i spoke with me step son, he was sharing his thoughts about his mom,, missing her, cuz she is alwasy at work, before he gets up, and until after he goes to bed.

I'am left with the impression that my W really doesn't want to be a mom. SHe tries to make it sound as though she does, but her actions do state otherwise.

I currently have a dilema, and i'm really not sure,,, having to do with,,, still JC.

Boss man called last night, saying we won't be working tomorrow due to it being to cold. So, i'm going to do a job search.

I need to run for awhile, and i'll catch up later.

warm hugs to you and yours

stever

Goody morning it is Stever!

I am just laughing reading your post-having coffee with God. Your funny, just shaking my head laughin. Lol....

yeppers, those words, like rest, ice, elavate, recover... must sound like foreign language.
What language are these words anyhow? lol

Long lost ancient language called bible.
= Modern dialect---SLANG for "SANITY" Located in the bible-- God's language& lifestyle!

The case for "REST" goes on trial. Ok... let's reason. Court now in session!!!

Gen2:2 And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.

Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His which God had created and made.

1 Kings 5:4 But now the Lord my God has given me rest on every side; there is neither adversary nor evil occurrence.

Ps 37: 7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently
for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way.

Isaiah:14:3 It shall come to pass in the day the LORD gives you rest from your sorrow, and from your fear and the hard bondage in which you were made to serve.

Vs6;The whole earth is at rest and quiet; They break forth into singing.

Jer:6:16 Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths, where the good way is, And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls.

JESUS says;

Mt11:28 Come to ME, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Vs: 29 Take My yoke upon you adn learn from Me, and I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will rest for your souls.

Vs: 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Mt26:45 Sleep on now, and take your rest.

Apostles;
Heb4:8 For if Joshua had given them rest, the He would not afterward have spoken of another day. There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he has entered His rest has himself ceased from his work as God did from His.

vs11:Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedeince.

Words from our compassionate High Priest;

vs14: Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.

vs15: For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathizee with our weakness, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.

vs16: Let us there fore come boldly to the throne of grace, the we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in a time of need.

Besides, thet say there's no rest for the wicked,,,

Indeed there is a case for that! More supporting verses for the case of resting,chillin, relaxing with GOD- His Calm project.

Sooooo, I "REST" my case....lol

Stever, so what do you say now??? Told you to toss out your heavy metal albums.... lol....

Vee tried calling her mom again yesterday. hours later the phone rang. vee asked if she could,,, the repky was-maybe you should this and that,,,

Sad communications. Poor little Vee. Ahhh. I feel bad for her.

left Ve actually discouraged. Then i was informed from W that she'll need to talk to her mom, seeing if it's ok for Vee and William to come over,,???????????

I understand-who wouldn't be discouraged- especially a little girl who just wants her mommy. William, he must feel pretty sad too.

What can anyone do but other than pray. Your w heart sounds pretty hard--only "prayer" can remove can change things here take someone out of their bondage.

I have a joke for your kids. Why did the orange cross the road? Because he was out of juice! lol...

I'm left discouraged, and even quite bothered. right where it touched the most.

I hear ya-- who wouldn't feel discouraged& irked. Because it is discouraging. That's the truth. I bet with that kind of dejection for you and your kids, would sting in the ringer of all your hearts.

There pain is become yours. I know all about it and everyone on the board here. We can't stop the insensitivity and hurt of another person. We could all plug the dyke--man it would make such a difference. You know marriage aspect is one thing but the kids on the other side is another.

What kind of influence and hold does your w mother have? Is she a decent woman?

I ended up calling W back, asking/offering-whatever- for our children to spend 2 weeks,,,

Sounds like a very odd tone--statement to make-- are you sure she isn't seeing someone? The math doesn't really add up here. I could be off base but diverting, disconnecting from the kids here seems very harsh response!

I mentioned how Christmas is about giving, and about family. Seems how mine is and will be broken, the next best thing i can do- is offer allow or whatever applies, for them to be together.

I hear ya-- you responded totally with the right heart and attitude...All you can do is present family values on a tray-platter and if she chooses to decline, and pass. Not much one can do but pray and make alternate plans to keep family values. It's her choice and problem sad... very sad.. I just feel very sad for all of you!


The reply was, maybe i should talk to you when you're in a better mood,,,
Don't take me wrong, we are always trying, yet we sometimes struggle, and maybe even fail.

Yikes, that would hurt-- for sure... not easy dealing with some one who empathy, and conscience wires are disconnected-not on line... That's too me the most frustrating& challenging part.
Takes a lot of other handling skills altogether.

What can you do??? Things are as they are. Pride& arrogance does that? I in my opinion only prayer can change that. She probably isn't even aware of the havoc her pride is causing.

I mean if she has truly genguine legitmate concerns, grievances, and reasons--I could appreciate her stance with you.

However, the solution and logics here is if something is " broken" " fix it". Simple and clear as that. You, me and all us other bs take the appropiate immediate actions to correct the situation. What agreement, repentance, restoration, is all about. How I see it.

However, to take a vindicitive posturing stance on the children is in my opinion going way to far.No senses here?

Sounds way, way, too Heavy handed and tooo extremely harsh...

I wish to sound rude, or offensive but who does her thinking for her and her justiciation?

No I am not taking you wrong here- small steps, but without repentance progress is difficult. Your Stonewalled.

She proceeded to tell me she has to be out of town on certain days, job related- and she'll need to ask her mom,,,

Do you belive here that she's legit? Or does she have a part here in gaining new employment to concide with her mothering responibilties? Kids first does that not resonate here? No bells going off. Or do you be considerate take as it is-accept it deal with the situaiton best you can-go OKKKKKKKK?

She is suppose to call me this eve, informing me what her mom had to say, in regards to the children being there for the 2 weeks,,,

Well that's very nice she is calling back at least. Whatever..... life goes on...

Have some thoughts here? Free falling problem solving. Just my opinion I am sharing. You do as you are led, and follow your own convictions here.

Sounds like a darn shame here you both don't have a good pastor here, or mature ladies in the church to just go out and reach on her on her level, turf and reason with her??? Pay her an actual visit? One can only on their own go so far??? Maybe your pastor might do that? I don't know what your pastor, ministry team is like?

You desire reconcilation this is your heart/spirit conviction so let's flow here look for a biblical solution? Because in the body of Christ--we have a scriptural hierarchy, unity, cooperation that we are to apply.

Since your wife professes to be a "christian" she has to be dealt with accordingly-nice to be able for the two of you to work with the Harley's I understand the budget contraints.

My problem was I could not locate a pastor, elders, to councel, apply scriptures, and hold my x accountable, work towards his repentance& restoration. He needed a higher authority. Because the situations would have not escalated or the children and I would have been supported. Even though later my x had to be treated as unbeliver because of his adulteries, deception, deplorable out of order behaviors-He knew as an unbeliver his biblical rights.

If I am the beliver and he wants to stay married I am obligated. I forgave the first two...Hiding his other adulteries or even to tolerate them well, God holds me accountable for the example I set to our kids in not condoning depravity. Word set me free on that one. As it is written in Mt:
19. Corthinans 7, etc.

Application for conflict resolution log jam as it is written: lets review the walk through steps. Prescription:

Break problem in small pieces get proactive.

Clear our heads--World has so many voices-so easy to get lost in the fog or clouds. So let us uncloud this" get clear minded".

Matthew 18:15

Vs 15: Morevover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him/her their fault between you and him/her alone. IF HE/SHE HEARS YOU, YOU HAVE GAINED A BROTHER/SISTER.

Vs 16: But if he/she will not take heart, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two more, that by the mounth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

Vs 17: And if he/she refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he/she refuses even to hear the church, let him/her be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.

Vs 18: Assuredly, I say to you, whatever, you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Vs 19: Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.

Vs 20: For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.


If your wife were to come into repentance---then
Galatians must come into pratice.

Gal:6:1 Brethen, if a man/woman is overtaken in any trepass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

Vs 2. Bear one anothers burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Vs 3. For if anyone thinks himself/herself to be something, when he/she is nothing, he/she deceives him/her self.

Vs 4. But let each one examine his/her own work, and then he/she will have rejoicing in him/her self alone and not in another.

Vs 5. For each one shall bear his own load.


Stever, this is where the body of Christ so falls apart so terribly-out of ignorance/pride puffery /indifference.

Jiffy quik, we shoot our own wounded, attack, adbandoned, get so judgemental, do sooo very little to actully prayer or reachout,offer aid, to restore a hurting, lost brother/sister.

Some brothers/sister are to difficult with pride, or arrogance. This reveals how great their need actually is. They are the most hurting--only can be prayed for-Cause they need the help the most.Worthy too, of help, prayer.


Stever, you can do the work here on Matt 19 and Corthians 7:


Another thing that pops into my mind here? I just love the series tapes by Pastor Mac Arthur on the full filled family, marriage, dv etc... video on parenthood-- which in a hour puts everything in a box. Maybe give her some tapes, and or a dr. Harley book to read as a gift.

I wonder if your church has anything in the library to borrow. Or if you have a budget to check it out, purchase them on line... Prices are pretty reasonable.

If your wife professes to be a christian. Why not send her a little touching christmas present something nice. Only you would know exactly what she likes, and include tapes, or video and let's cut through the chase!!!!

anyhow, enough of the blues. I
You have every reason to feel blue--I know how it feels. HURT. It does hurt. Why people who have actually been there, experinced can tranpose these hurts into music and share, comfort others. I just love the blues...Ultimate empathy music!!!

Touches, the heart in those deep places of understanding/compassion. You see the blues songs I used to write...

I'm in the process of helping with-from another site i'm involved in. .

Shoot-lost your quote-- darn--but Awesomely you are heading in the right direction, on right track. Education, prevention, public awareness. People are so ignorant-families are just be torn apart lose our family values, morals, all that goodness, is so worth the presentation, and celebration. EDUCATION.

Lack of knowledge, people, marriages, famlies, kids are destroyed. That's a crying shame-prevention goes much further than apathy-family breakdowns.! Give hope to the kids coming up, they deserve a fair chance to marry, and have descent good morale fullfilling family life.

Now im trying to brainstorm with the idea, including how, where, when,,,>> talking to my cousin who is a country music performer.

I like what your doing and awesome news what your cousin is doing! Definately you too, need to partner up, and work together.

Way I see- Country music right now is holding the banner real high standing firm in the perservation of all the values we hold dear,and treasure in love, marriage,family values, goodness. Music is a powerful medium that God works through and people. Used properly helps save lives, influences people for the better, higher purposes. Plus having a good time.

I checked out your link with your cousin! Wow, impressive-Imagine playing fiddling just like that. God inspired and putting his talents for God's greater good. Grass roots is where it's at.

Lots of men-just in the dark don't any better. Ignorance. I think that's so cool... Definately, you guys need to hook up together.... Connect...God obviously has a purpose... Awesome!!! I think your cousin would be thrilled with what your doing.

I have observed the excesses, and abuses of music, but I have felt,experinced, enjoyed the tremendous ministries that music provides of liberation, freedom, and joy. It's a choice. Choice wisely. Better to be a humaritarian, than a senseless jerk. What a waste of good talent, time.


LAst night i spoke with me step son, he was sharing his thoughts about his mom,, missing her, cuz she is alwasy at work, before he gets up, and until after he goes to bed.

Soooo sorry to hear that-Sad-this job sounds like a real detriment and very divisive to your wife, kids. It's driving a deeper wedge. I pray she will see that how it's is hurting everyone. Perhaps convicted to look elsewhere. If it means hurting so many people.

Jobs can really play a pivotal role part in the deteriation in the martial/family breakdown. Employment places should be have to be more pro family cultured. Be reasonable fair, include... Placing unreasonable expectations and demands.

I'am left with the impression that my W really doesn't want to be a mom. SHe tries to make it sound as though she does, but her actions do state otherwise.

Well the impression I am left with from what you share she seems not to interested pretty focused on her own life. However, there does exist a strong dimension here that her job truly extracts everything from her. THis is not good for her well being here either? Catch my drift?


I currently have a dilema, and i'm really not sure,,, having to do with,,, still JC.

Stever, sorry kinda of lost me here? What do you mean??? Possible to clarify here?

Boss man called last night, saying we won't be working tomorrow due to it being to cold. So, i'm going to do a job search. I need to run for awhile, and i'll catch up later.

Sorry to hear about the weather factor-it's hard on the construction business. Remeber could be a blessing here as your ankles are still damaged. You might need to re-coup...

Have a wonderful day---I just love the word of God! He is so wonderful. You have an awesome, beautiful day in Jesus!


Take it Eeeeeeasy, REST, RELAX!!!! lol,lol, lol..
Warmest hugs and blessing you& tribe....!
xxooxx
sky


warm hugs to you and yours

stever

Yo-it's me again. Did the Stever give you a spin??? You know sending posts to yourself.lol...just bein a brat...

Sorry about the typos--I was just typing fast here, thinking really fast. Didn't have time to edit as I didn't want to lose the post like I did yesterday...My apologies here.

If your wonderin WHAT THE HECK....is she takin about--ask me question.

What I meant at one point not wanting to sound rude.... Ahhh--your eyes must of popped out,few eyebrows went up...

But when I am having coffee with God-deep into study with him in the morning--got alot going on...I had quite a interesting day, night with God, going through some incredible new changes. Lots happening in my head. For the good. Amazing once gets rid of the baggage. Wow. Just blown away, trying to digest.

Seeing you were having a sad morning-well I just wanted to respond and cheer you up, toss ya few more options to encourage you. Your doing awesome with your own plans, convictions, dreams! But the pain part hurts. I just pray your church can be a heartbeat church plugged into scriptures.

We can't do it all on our own!!! God meant for us to work together in unity, one accord, when one person is hurting, down, the body of Christ is hurting and down too. We all play apart I think of the parable of the good smaritian-think to myself how can people just walk on by. And little cute jingle song-that has always struck a cord in my heart..

He poured in the oil and the wine! The kind that restoreth my soul...He saw me bleeding& dying on the Jericho road, and He poured in the oil and wine.

I just love that song! It's so true...

I know Christmas is so close--and you and the kids just want your wife to come home. Things just ultra, ultra, ultra tender...sensitive..

Let me know if I kind lost ya....

sky...

Stever,

Some more thoughts popped into my mind. Wanted to clairfy-- cause jobs/careers are so sticky, complex issues, offer a more a prespective.

I elminated so many careers& normal advancement opportunities to work, to around be available to my kids. Well worth it throughout the yrs! Hurts me seriously now professionally--but will get through it-rebuild it.

Wk--Homebased-well I could work in blocks, of time, around, here and there and be there for my kids& husband in whatever capacity.

When I started traveling with my work-conducting a volunteer training session somewhere, or what ever educational projects,etc. My kids were in HS-so not very young. Lowered my travel time.

My org was family friendly cultured and my spouse/kids were welcome to accompany me. Think it's heart /attuitude behind makes a difference a job..

Meaning I could take my hubby, and kids with me on my travels.Options were open. We would have to pay their portion, do their own thing, enjoy the sights. No problem. My kids weren't to interested, doing the stuff with school, friends. My x couldn't alway get the time- Off-when he did I later found out he wasn't being a good husband either.

If I would coordinate a volunteer training session of groups of people from 4 provinces- I kept the same open invite policy of spouses& kids. Always very welcome to attend. Kids attend my direct training session parents always accessible, needed a hugs, comfort.

Families who did show, very welcome to participate in dinners, things were inclusive pick the tab for, factor into by budgets.. My logic was if the spouses/kids were involved in the org, took out the misconception, hurts, mistrust that another spouse might feel hurt, op anxieties!!!

Kids knowing their parents were actually doing. Relief to them. When I call gees I be apart of the family dynamics anyways. Lots of people's marriages were so solid on ethics-didn't matter what their spouses were doing good people-good trust. All above board.

For a non-profit org which run entirely different from the corporate sector,where they actually staff, real resources,etc. We would make the extra allowances, which for a np super tough& difficult.

Corporate sector have way bigger budgets to accomodate couples, they deal with real funds etc...

NP=very little operating captital, every cent spent had to be a wise expenditure spent. Not much a margin to work with.

Anyways, it was well worth to make extra allowances as an org--one doesn't want to be divisivness or cause mistrust. Nice to have almost everyone on the same wave-length.

Always check in with people monitor if work is distruptive to the marriage, family culture. Adjustment, flexible to do what ever one needs to do.

Also I had no problems traveling on my own, if my x wasn't interested, couldn't particpate. I really enjoyed my breaks, down time. I needed welcomed blank rest space time, to function, recharge, clear my mind.

Considering in my former line of work. I am doing the work of many people- on my shoulders, add a marriage, children, running my entire, household, etc. That's alot..

All about balances...So wanted to clarify-- maybe help understand your wife job and legit travel. Possible that this company may be anti family wk culture, insensitive!

Many European countries are in many ways so way ahead of our NA culture, progressive to keep family values, marriages, tack, flex programs, are outstanding.

My personal values with my kids when they were so young, I wanted to be there for them, I loved them, wanted to raise them, watch them grow up. Wished I had a chance before having my kids to have a college,university degree. Even if I didn't actively use it--it all comes in handy.

As you know kids so need their parent/support structure under them--Kind when they got older, adjust jobs around them. Now I think it's ok at their age.


Not sure if I mentioned--another np program I was with was pretty chaotic- worked very hard cleaning it up, getting it highly functional-my x, my son started acting up. So I made sure I did a bang up awesome job with my org. Choices-resigned, let some else build on my infrastructure building.

Because my x and children came first. Jobs come and go.

Stever, what is so crazy----my x has always trusted me, knows my loyality whether he deserved or not. Assurances--

Always knows I have always pretty much had his best interests at heart-even to this day. No one is entirely prefect. He has that confidence card. Uses it against me to get away with his conducts. Guess he knows that I am a union gal-didn't cross those lines. Go figure. I loved him enough to stand up and draw the lines too.

I wonder if I made the same bad choices and acted out as he did. Would he have been a better man???lol.... I shake my head. But he is not well, lost, respect, and trust is totally gone.

x family major culture-toss babes into daycare-work& live for yourself attitude-kids overall in his family weren't not valued. Except a few.

Some more prespectives to toss around.
smiles,

Hi Sky, you are my fav. buddy-ete

Goody morning it is Stever!


The case for "REST" goes on trial. Ok... let's reason. Court now in session!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Indeed there is a case for that! More supporting verses for the case of resting,chillin, relaxing with GOD- His Calm project.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sooooo, I "REST" my case....lol

Stever, so what do you say now??? Told you to toss out your heavy metal albums.... lol....</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">case closed, i am well aware of that language,,,now. Miss judge, you're not thinking about sentencing me - are you?


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What can anyone do but other than pray. Your w heart sounds pretty hard--only "prayer" can remove can change things here take someone out of their bondage.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">you know, about two weeks ago, while talking to W, she was with empathy,,, she even agreed to working on us, and then several minutes later, she replied, you're still pressuring me. I think i shared this with you the following day, i know i felt different, after talking with her, i truly felt she was being sincere.

I'm sure if i were to ask her, she will either act like, or she'll say something about not remembering,, or that i as usual, misunderstood, because "you simply refuse to listen to me Stever."

I have a joke for your kids. Why did the orange cross the road? Because he was out of juice! lol...
they enjoyed your joke>


What kind of influence and hold does your w mother have? Is she a decent woman?
i never thought any type of influence. The place is both of theirs. Not unless her mom is running a daycare still??

IS she a decent woman. For the most part?? I know after meeting her, i was with a different impression. basically referring to the way she was physical with some of the daycare children.

For awhile, i was aware that she was using her deceased brothers credit cards,,, and such. This left me wondering.

One thing i allowed myself to do after W left- was ask her mom a lot of questions. THis i now realize was wrong on my behalf. I was simply looking for answers. NOw-looking back, not sure how i could have actually believed that i thought i'd get an answer,,especially in one paticular area.

Sounds like a very odd tone--statement to make-- are you sure she isn't seeing someone? The math doesn't really add up here. I could be off base but diverting, disconnecting from the kids here seems very harsh response!

Her son has informed me she's not seeing anyone, doesn't mean he doesn't know.

Last night while on the phone, i realized my thoughts were running towards thinking that she was again involved with someone. After listening to her, maybe i'm knieve and ignorant-refusing to see or accept- but i was at ease realizing i was off the wall.

Then again though, it surely wouldn't surprise me.

I just remembered something> last year i joined
-i think it was match.com- anhow i filled oput the questionare, along with the profile. Eventually i recieved an e-mail informing me of the top 20 matches out of how ever many thousands of females, matching up to my personality, and what i was looking for,, etc etc.. THe second one was my wife!!!

I actually had to look twice! I couldn't believe it-at first- due to what she was telling me in those days as well. I sent her an e-mail asking her about this, a few days later she responded, and it wasn't nothing nice neither.

She stated she had been toying with the thought about purchasing a similar site,,, then i went back to her profile, she had deleted soo much!

I eventually ended up thinking i caught her in another one of her lies. but i can honestly only wonder?


All day Vee has been asking to call her mom. Last night W said she'll call here this eve. Finally i gave in and allowed Vee to call. W asked for me, -usually she does the majority of talking thru Vee-

she asked what i wanted? I alomost responded in a different way there,,lol anyhow, after asking ehr if she was referring to the 2 weeks, she asked if what i wanted was for the children to be with her for 2 weeks, i said yeppers, adding that they also want to be there,,

guess what i "needed" to do rather quick, say good-bye. I listened to the way she said good-bye,, was with question, like ok??

She probably isn't even aware of the havoc her pride is causing.
this is one lady with a lot of pride! 'too' much, imho. but if and when i say things like this, isn't this judging? along with talking down and or slandering her?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I mean if she has truly genguine legitmate concerns, grievances, and reasons--I could appreciate her stance with you.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">and then i could even agree with her. You have just hit an area thats confusing. probbaly more than i've been able to really express. I need to say it again, i'm not Mr. Perfect. I now know ap[parently i missed meeting/fulfilling her needs, and God sure knows i sure was trying. Even though our time togetehr was soo scarce!

After disecting ym marriage with her, there has been so much that she has only changed the true meaning of, the context of, just to meet her own needs.

The one that still sticks out- for what-ever reason- was the time when i shared how the children and I wanted to bring her supper on one paticualr night, i can't remember what i cooked now,,, anyhow i was accused of "several" things. I even said "W, if thats how you think and or feel, then pick a nigtht, and i don't care if it's one week, or two weeks out, then that way you'll know it's not to check up on you,, and the rest of what she accused." I even added this way, we can look at it as a date.

This was years before she left, and after learning all that i have, about her, before we ever married, yet after she left, of quite some time i wondered if maybe she was already involved with someone then as well????

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">However, the solution and logics here is if something is " broken" " fix it". Simple and clear as that. You, me and all us other bs take the appropiate immediate actions to correct the situation. What agreement, repentance, restoration, is all about. How I see it.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">i agree. If it's broken- fix it.

For awhile i was with impression hre hate was due to me having full physical custody. Then, i'm able to remember that she was already hating me, even before that. As she basically still does.

ALthough her hate then was for other reasons, thinking she had found her soul-mate, and being involved with another. I don't know, with all the blame that she is still full of, along with still spitting those accusations,,, maybe she's convinced herself it's all my fault.

However, to take a vindicitive posturing stance on the children is in my opinion going way to far.No senses here?[/B}

My mom asked me this eve if i was mad. My response was yeah. Asked if i was mad at her,,, no i'm not,,, i proceeded with my sharing how i'm becoming full of hate. I can't understand how i'm hated so, i've never been hated in all my life, and now the one i choose to spend the rest of my life with, hates me to death, and thats my wife.

Adding that to hate me, is also hating ehr children, i'm a part of them, they're a part of me,, she tryed to have me hush- for the fact the children was right there listening.

So i added that it's not right. I discussed with VE briefly, how the reason i often tell her to wait til later after she asks to call her mom, is in hopes that she will forget. Why? Because so often there is no answer,,, and i don't alewasy know the right way to do things. That i'm getting tired of protecting her, the W.

Then, after i listened to myself, realizing i was allowing that form of hate to enter,,, i can't hate. I can't. When i've tried, i become some-one else. Adn i don't know that person. I'm not a hateful person, and i don't hate people. -although, if it wasn't for my children, i would have filled my heart with nothing but hate, and i woul dhave gave it to her, in her face and heart full.

Then would i have felt better? only til i was able to replay in my mind, then i would have hated me, all that much more. lol


[B]I wish to sound rude, or offensive but who does her thinking for her and her justiciation?

i'm under the impression,,, she does, and all of the flesh maybe. unless, she is involved with another guy, and he's telling ehr to say or do certain things??? That could almost add up? I think?


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Do you belive here that she's legit? Or does she have a part here in gaining new employment to concide with her mothering responibilties? Kids first does that not resonate here? No bells going off. Or do you be considerate take as it is-accept it deal with the situaiton best you can-go OKKKKKKKK?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">for the most part, even after allowing myself to vent during this reply to you,, i do accept it, deal with the sitaution,,, as best i can at times,

Well that's very nice she is calling back at least. Whatever..... life goes on...
life does go on, and i like that attitude, whatever..... lol


***Sounds like a darn shame here you both don't have a good pastor here,***

Sat and Sun. i reminded our pastor that i wanted to talk to him, still. I also shared with him my actions regards to Marriage Fidelity Day,, he was quite excited with that. ASked if i'd keep him updated,,,


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">or mature ladies in the church to just go out and reach on her on her level, turf and reason with her??? Pay her an actual visit? One can only on their own go so far??? Maybe your pastor might do that? I don't know what your pastor, ministry team is like?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LAst year i approached the pastor that married us, i was with such an impression that he didn't care. Now that i'm able to look back at that day, i think i may have left the impression of bad mouthign/slandering her as a wife. That really wasn't what i was doing. My motive was to share, so that i'd recieve that help. from him, along with Gods word.

You desire reconcilation this is your heart/spirit conviction so let's flow here look for a biblical solution? Because in the body of Christ--we have a scriptural hierarchy, unity, cooperation that we are to apply.

this is one of my persoanl struggles, and maybe even a weakness at the same time. I struggle with, not actually knowing, or being able to find enough of what God says, and to really understand, when it's ok to divorce. I hear God tell me, He hates divorce, that all can reconcile, that none shall parish. Adultry can be grounds for forgiveness. What am i suppose to do, remove the first n in none, and think mine is the one.

I want a lady in my life, and my promise and commitment, was to the one i married. Now, i don't knwo if any future marriages wil be ok? and such????

I do know God doesn't say, Stever, I have somebody better in mind for you. I can't change scriptures to meet my needs of the flesh,, and then ask for forgiveness at the same time.,?


If I am the beliver and he wants to stay married I am obligated.
why are you obligated? Can you go any further with this please?

I too forgave the first two, if even shared this with W, adding that obviously the children forgave her as well, and they still love her. too.




Matthew 18:15

Vs 15: Morevover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him/her their fault between you and him/her alone. IF HE/SHE HEARS YOU, YOU HAVE GAINED A BROTHER/SISTER.

Maybe i don't really know the true calm way to say things? Do oyu understand? I have tried saying things to her, yet all i manage to leave her feeling as though i'm being critical, and the such. I have always said, i'm being open and honest, and i'm not intending to be critical, on that negative level.

***Vs 16: But if he/she will not take heart, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two more, that by the mounth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.***

have only tried with the MC, and then W was actually lieing to her about a few things.

***Vs 17: And if he/she refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he/she refuses even to hear the church, let him/her be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.***

,,, i'm wondering though- shouldn't she be in a willing mind? as for telling it to the church that is?

***Vs 18: Assuredly, I say to you, whatever, you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.***

this is pretty serious and very heavy. And so scary in some ways. Specking of the flesh, would be why it's scary. I really would like to spend the rest of my days on earth, with that special lady in my life. A companion too. (speaking of the flesh,) i'm also thinking about those honey-moon times,, lol roflmao


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If your wife were to come into repentance---then
Galatians must come into pratice.

Gal:6:1 Brethen, if a man/woman is overtaken in any trepass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">what exactly does this maen?


***Vs 5. For each one shall bear his own load.***

what am i needing to hear from this scripture,,, that i'm bearing my own load, and problems incluidn my burdens? This couldn'tr be considered a good thing, right? Because then, we'd be refusing the Lord Jesus Christ amd our Father.


You mentioned about those tapes, and slipping them in with a gift. I think now i'm too scared to allow myself to get her a gift.??

KNowing how she's looking at it, after hearing her say, "he thinks he can buy me? He will not buy me!"

Ok Sky, after reading on, i will take your advice, and purchase her a gift, and i sure hope i can get those tapes!!!

hey, if she becomes very mad and such, i'll be blaming it on you, holding you accountable to. J/K lol


I thought about sharing this with my W, referring to e-mailing the govenor, and asking Dave to come perform,,,, this would surely be a strong message. Then i'd be chancing though,,,


***I currently have a dilema, and i'm really not sure,,, having to do with,,, still JC.***
Stever, sorry kinda of lost me here? What do you mean??? Possible to clarify here?

referring to joint custody,,, the way i'm hearing what some say, that i should give jopint custody, and that she is their mom, and the shared parenting,,, for the most part, i agree with almost everything thats being said. With the exception of JC.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Have a wonderful day---I just love the word of God! He is so wonderful. You have an awesome, beautiful day in Jesus!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

ditto babe!!!


do you remember trying to encourage me to write??? Another serious thought i'm currently playing and tossing around, is to write an article, and have it in the local newspaper. I'm also going to try to contact th emedia where radio i concerned,, just all this is so greek to me, i don't know where, or how,, yet!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> and i realize i may even just be daydreaming,, too much.


warm hugs to you and yours

Vee is wanting me to color with her,

thanks for the inspiration, thank God.

stever

me still,

i wanted to share with you - i applied for a nother job today. A treatment specialist. They are going to train the right individuals. I met alot of their requirements,, so i'm relly hoping. and praying!!!

T.T.F.N.

he's watching, and he knows who's been naughty or nice,,,

Steve, your just so hilarious-- I;m just laughing, laughing, lauging- and trying to be serious.

I will get back to ya- that is awesome news about that position. We will have to pray....

As for the judge---Rest Assured--- the real Judge will be showing up real soon!

So all I will say for now is "Would like that with fries" ??? Mac Donalds style or " Will the defendant please stand up and rise". Kangaroo court in session.

Can definately see clearer where you are coming from.

Kool you and Vee are coloring-love it.

Need to get my son--my taxi lite is on--

Talk to you in awhile.

You got that straight He does know who's been naughty or nice!!! And He still loves US! How Kool is that!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Smiles.
Sky

Hey stever,

Need to break on thoughts for a bit- Would really appreciate your prayers through the next few days if you have room!

Talk to you later!

A twinkley good morning.

I am just thinking and praying for Vee, and William discouragements during this difficult time. So I am sending some comfort e-card to hopefully make them feel better.

For Ms.Vee
http://www.angelhugs.com/RenoirSlideShow.html

For Ms.Vee
http://www.angelhugs.org/SunshineandWarmth.html


For Master. William & Ms. Vee

http://www.angelhugs.com/CatchTheWind.html

For Master. William

http://www.angelhugs.net/BearPrayers.html


For Mr. Stever (Our lord cares very much)

http://www.angelhugs.com/MayTheLord.htm


Christ Love
my love
sky