Great news! My daughter received positive proof this morning that she is NOT pregnant! I am very much relieved, though still have a long way to go with her.

She's still at STBXH/OW's apartment and it wasn't her who called to tell me. It was OW. That's hard to take (but I'm glad OW did have the decency to call as soon as she found out DD had started).

Daughter still isn't sure when or if she's coming home. I told OW that I miss my daughter and would like to have her home by Friday night. We shall see. She doesn't have school today or tomorrow due to conferences.

Now comes the tricky part--getting her on birth control. She wants nothing to do with it. Not sure why. So, because she wouldn't listen to me, OW is going to try and discuss the issue with her.

I'm trying to convince myself that as long as SOMEONE is able to talk sense into her, that it doesn't matter who it is....but it really kinda' does to me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

LL

lordslady,


--I love her. I am afraid she's bonded very much with OW (because OW had a child at 16). I know on one hand she needs a friend, and while I don't particularly like OW for many reasons, I suppose she is maybe a little more mature than my daughter's other friends.


I'm sorry, I agree to a point, yes, she needs a friend BUT more importantly she needs a MOTHER

Have you considered why she didn't tell you?

Maybe because she's afraid you will look down on her??

Maybe she's afraid you will judge her??

Can you let her know that even though yes, you are disappointed that she may be pregnant, your hurt even more that she didn't feel safe talking to you about it??

And that no matter what you will be there for her--and that you LOVE HER!! Sure sometimes peoples actions disappoint us, but that doesn't cause us to just stop loving them--

Let her know that you realize she's scared, (wouldn't you be?) and that *IF* she is pregnant
and decides to have the baby--you will do everything you can to help her get the father of her child to help support THEIR Child--and that you will help her in anyway you can as well--

Let her know YOU are there FOR her--no matter what--

Here I sit--in my house--just me and the doggies.

My daughter is still at STBXH/OW's place. (Well, actually she's at a friend's house--her dad took her there and is picking her up later). But she is still not coming home tonight per OW.

I asked OW if she knew why my daughter was avoiding her home. She thinks it's because everything here triggers memories for my daughter of the guy who broke up with her last week.

That is probably true. They hung out here all the time. They were only at STBXH's once.

But now my baby girl is basically living with her dad and OW. It doesn't seem fair. I know--life isn't fair. But usually, you don't hear of mothers losing their child to the father unless she's totally unfit.

So what have I done that made my daughter do the 180 from a couple weeks ago, when she was being very open with me and telling me what a bimbo the OW was. Now she can't get enough of her, and I'm here and she won't even call me.

What do I do? I still am the physical custodian of her until the DV is final. But if I force STBXH to bring her home, they could easily convince her to tell a judge that she wants to live with them, and then the final decree could shut me out of my daughter's life. I don't want that.

I just want my baby back. It's not right for her to be living with her dad's mistress. She should be with me. But right now it seems I can't compete with them, and then my house conjures up all sorts of bad vibes for her because of her ex-boyfriend.

I feel very bad because I'm having a major crisis of faith right now. I'm SO afraid that God is letting my worst fears come true. I am telling myself that whatever happens, it's for my good. But I WANT MY BABY BACK!

LL

LL, If you are having a crisis of faith, with your worst fears coming true, then if AlAnon is out of the question, please do just this one thing.

Go to the library, or take your lonely self to Barnes and Noble or Borders, pull up a nice cup of decaf latte, and read "EXCUSE ME: Your Life is Waiting" by Lynn Grabhorn.

Read it, then ping me on this or GQ board and I'll tell you more about why I suggested it.