Tonight I could have called the police on him.

He is pushing me to talk about this despite the fact that I have talked to daughter and emailed him that this is not a good time for me to talk.

When I said I could not talk about it now, he looked at daughter then pointed to me and said, "See what I mean? What did I tell you?" Drawing child into it all. And I could see the discomfort on her face.

I then asked him to leave.

He didn't do it.

I told him I had some things I needed to deal with before I talked about it and he again dragged daughter into it. So I asked him to leave again and he didn't.

We just got sucked into it more. Yes, I did walk away but got sucked back when he kept telling daughter that I wouldn't cooperate.

So we argued a bit and talked a bit. I explained that the attorney I talked to said these things had to be dealt with first. The QDRO on his retirement and the medical expenses he hasn't paid.

I told him we need to work out a better system for communicating on med bills because there are lots of things mr $85K hasn't paid for and Ms. $26K has been having to do it all.

Then I told him about the IRS audit and, funny thing is, he calmed down.

God, I hate the man. I don't understand how this man could be so horrible and think he's such a good Christian. I just don't understand it.

I was not the most respectful person in town tonight. Too bad my daughter saw it. But he was even worse, I think. We both acted like children.

I have apologized to daughter and cried some more over the ordeal. It's just killing me.

Is he horrible or just different?

I know, it's frustrating, and I think it's good that you think you BOTH acted like children.

So I go back to, is he horrible, or just different. You think he is horrible because he wants to talk now. I'll bet you he thinks you are horrible because you won't come to the table and talk about this issue.

One suggestion is that instead of saying now is not a good time, set a specific time to talk. Say H, I can't talk now, how about we get together next Tuesday and hash this out. I would also like to hear your plans on how you are going to address the medical bills that I believe you owe me.

If he is like me, he is probably not comfortable with the uncertainty of when you will discuss it with him.

You don't want to talk now, he doesn't want an uncertain later.

So you can set your boundary of not talking now AND address his concern by giving him a definate time you are willing to talk.

It's not fair for him to push you, but in a different way, you are pushing him by putting it off. So perhaps if you put it off, but agree on the time you will talk it will put him at ease.

Just a suggestion,

TB