Hi Everyone,

AVONDALE, I just sent an e-mail to you, but then it didn't appear to go thru. I will make this short in case its my computer acting up.

I am SO sad about the loss of the tough love thread. It's like losing family albums or journals. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I hope they can restore it.

I miss hearing from everyone. Hopefully, people can start writing here now.

Things have been going much better here at home. I'm cautiously optimistic about everything. It would be wonderful if things could continue like this! I'll post more if this goes through.

I'm sorry I can't write too much as my computer is still not right. It is taking forever for anything to go through.

Stacy,

I'm glad that you are not filing for divorce. I agree with Avondale that it would be wise to try other measures first.

We will keep hoping that things can turn around for you and your husband.

Wallace,

So I take it that you and your girlfriend are back together. Are things going better now?

Avondale,

I've written you a couple of times but I'm not sure if you've received either e-mail? I have been thinking of you and praying for you. I hope you are doing well.

Petvet, Trusting Him, Relady and Others,

I hope all of you are doing well. I miss hearing from you. Take care and have a great weekend!

I had forwarded this to Avondale but thought to put it here too.

I had asked a friend who knows UBB Classic in and out. His reply was:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Found the site... they need to upgrade to the latest version, there's a security hole or 2 in that older version. If their license is current, I'll do the upgrade, just let me know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Plus, there were some changes in the structure of the files that should help a bit with the memory issues, if I remember right.

If nothing else, I can save the thread by manually editing on my computer and uploading it, there's only a few of us in the world who's done that before

There are some changes in the newer version that will help with the memory issues.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So...there is help out there for the Tough Love thread. If we can get it.

Hi everyone,

Last night I was going through my daughters school work when I came across a drawing that broke my heart. She drew a picture of a family where the mother and father were looking at each other with smiles and happiness. The 2 kids were on either side of them looking on also with smile on their faces. The picture was entitled "The Perfect Family" The picture behind it was a picture of the father off to one side looking away with anger and the mother on her knees pleading with tears in her eyes. The children were behind the mother looking towards the father also with tears in their eyes. This one was entitled "A Broken Family" with "family" crossed out in black crayon. When I asked her about it, she seemed surprised that I found it and then told me she just didn't want to talk about it.

I went to my room and cried. She really needs to release what she sees to a counselor, although I am glad she is expressing herself through the drawings. But I am afraid of what she sees. In her drawings it seems like she sees her father as the one who turned her back on us and left with anger. Should I show this to H? I don't want him to again think I am trying to manipulate him into anything. I just want him to see how upsetting this is to his children. They are not as resilliant as he thinks..they are suffering as much as we are. Should I casually lay it somewhere where he can see it?

Hi All,

Stacey...

Your post was heart breaking to read.

I believe in my heart, that it is the children that suffer the most during these situations.

IMHO, what your child drew is exactly what she is feeling.

Art, takes it's form to declare so many things... and children express themselves the best through their art work when they have no other way to communicate what they are feeling.

Art IMHO, is one of the purest forms of expression that exists today. The torment that many of the most famous artists as we know them is clearly what made them what they are today.

It's to bad most of them were not still around to get the praise, and the compliments, as well as the worth of their art that exists today.

I would not show your "H", your "D's art work at the moment. He will in fact IMHO feel that you are trying to manipulate him... and her art work is worth much more than that.

Most artist, (and I can say this because I was an art major in school, turned business major... lol), suffer in silence.

avondale...

I don't have Petvet's email address... otherwise I would of emailed him to give him a heads up.

Is he still on vacation?

Trusting Him...

How are you doing my friend?

Glad you found this thread.

I am in agreement with what you posted, I just hope they are able to salvage the thread.

Me...

Right now my G/F and I are touch and go.

This thing could swing either way I think.

I'm not going to get "M" until I feel I'm ready, and thats all there is to it. If she can't accept that... then there is not much I can do about it.

We are talking... and we are going to go out tonight... so we will see what happens.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

<small>[ March 04, 2005, 07:44 PM: Message edited by: Wallace ]</small>

Stacy, Your post broke my heart, too. I studied art therapy for a couple of years and Wallace is right. Children often find it easier to describe traumatic events in pictures. I worked with kids in the hospital who'd suffered physical traumas. Often they wouldn't talk to me, a stranger, but would easily draw me a picture of what happened. I could point to a part of the picture and ask them to tell me about it and then they could talk easily, because they were describing the picture rather than the event.

In the case of emotional trauma though, it seems to be different. I remember a little girl who'd been sexually abused and if I asked anything about her pictures, she'd destroy them - scribbling over or crumpling them.

The picture your daughter drew pretty much said it all. Isn't it crazy that we (or WS's) think children "don't understand" and aren't affected by all this? The worst fear of my childhood was of losing a parent either through death or, because they fought a lot, divorce.

Gang,
Petvet has returned and started a new thread to continue from the old one, titled "Tough Love 2".
Here's the link:
Tough Love 2

Since the "Tough Love??" thread started by stormydakota was more of questioning what happened to the original one and he/she hasn't posted since then, are you OK with moving to the new one (Tough Love 2) started by Petvet? Meanwhile, we'll continue to pray that the moderators can salvage the original thread, at least for read-only purposes.

Stacy and everyone one else, please join us at Tough Love 2.