Hi all,

It seems alot of folks have down time today.

Relady: It was nice to hear from you. Stay in touch with us more often.

Leah: I hope all is going well under the circumstances. Stay strong.

Wallace: Oh no! You will beat me to the altar. I will explain later.

Avondale: I like how you eased into the annoucement about your ex by saying "Not much new". I know you must have fallen out all over the floor laughing after you heard the news about your ex, or knowing you, you probably just shook your head in pity for his new bride to be. Whatever happened to the the "Song Queen" he was dating while you were married? He is still searching for something; unfortunately, he has to look in the mirror at himself before he finds happiness anywhere else.

Me: No date has been set. Buddy unloaded a bomb on me by telling me that she cannot get "m" until she gets a certain age because she will loose retirement benefits from her deceased husband's company. In addition, she unloaded two more bombs on me after the first. Needless to say, I am not a happy camper. I know you are asking the same question I asked. After three years of dating, why am I just hearing about these secrets? Two of the secrets should have been told to me, but the third I can understand why she kept it confidential. So back to Wallace's asertion that I will beat him to the altar. We will see. She hits the magical age next year, so we will see what happens.

Later.

Hey All,

Petvet...

All I can say is, "Ouch"!

I have to agree with you... holding onto secrets after three years, and dropping them on you like that. That would send a red flag up for me.

I look at it like this... I don't see what the hurry is from my end. I'm perfectly fine just as everything is.

Hopefully that's the case for you as well, but if not, I would begin looking at everthing very carefully, as I'm sure you don't want to end up back in the soup again.

I'm really taking a hard look at my relationship, and I'm not sure if I'm going to follow through with the whole marriage thing again. Plus, I don't like to be pressured to do anything when it comes to relationships. I grew out of that from my last marriage.

avondale...

I noticed that the WS, usually is the first one to get "M" again.

Not sure why that is... maybe they are insecure with themsleves and need that positive reinforcement to confirm their actions.

Nothing the WS does surprises me any longer.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

[color:"blue"] Petvet[/color] - I think keeping secrets of THAT nature (age of marriage/retirement benefits) are more than just red flags! That's a VERY serious thing. Are any of those bombs reasons why your parents expressed concern for the marriage? Maybe they have a point; we all know how easy it is to see red flags when you're not the one in that situation. Keep us posted!

[color:"blue"] Me [/color] - To explain a bit further...this woman that ExH says he will marry is NOT the OW he knows through his music studies. I don't know how they met; he wrote me an email in the fall saying he was 'dating someone seriously' (i.e., he moved into her house). Plus, he dropped this M bomb by telling our daughter on the phone. She has met his wife-to-be one time, even though we all live in the same town. It has been difficult for our kids, and I noticed that over the holidays even my somewhat-hardened son was much more caring of me (because I realized that he met her at H's parent's Christmas party, which I no longer attend -obviously!)

Anyway, this was all a dose of reality for me, and did seem to make things a little more final. I know you all (especially Petvet) have been thinking I'm holding on too much. Well, this helped with a little more emotional separation. I'm OK with it.

avondale...

I'm sure that was a pretty big blow to everyone.

My kids, are not that youg anymore, and when they found out their Mom went out a got married less than a year of the "D", it pretty much sealed the whole thing shut for all that was concerned.

It does catch you off guard, when you first hear about it make no mistake about that.

I remeber that there wasn't a day that didn't go by that I didn't think about my exW.

I still think about her from time to time... not that I'm pining for her or anything. I just wonder how her life really turned out, and was it all really worth all the devestation she left in her wake.

Hopefully for her sake it was all worth it, as I know as time goes on... she will eventually end up an lonely, lonely person.

IMO... when you lose your family... you lose it all!

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi All..........


Avondale [color:"brown"] [/color] - My Heart goes out to you. I know it's heart breaking. Despite you may be divorced the emotional feeling of all the years spent together don't disappear that easily. It still feels like a slap in the face. Don't feel down though because in time it's gonna all blow over.

In Psalms 23 it say "He restoreth my soul". That means if we allow the Lord to work out the pain and heartache, you will recover all that has been lost. He will continually pour in the healing oil of his love and remove all the bruises. [color:"green"] [/color]

I'm still doing the school thing. I'm getting ready to start the Bachelors level. One thing I've learned that has really touched me is that the Lord loves us so much and when we hurt, he hurts. He constantly holds us in his arms, embracing us with his unchanging love.

Wallace [color:"brown"] [/color] - My kids didn't come this year. I havn't spoke with them lately. They come and go. I feel like a yo yo at times, they reel me in, then reel me out. Other than that I stand with open arms. The end of 2005 was down time emotionally. In 2004 I was on the mountain top. I think it happened because I had to give a company my old DV papers and had look at everything in the box. That emotionally drained me as I had to relive it all. I wanted to burn the box after that. What a mess that was.

Hope everybody is doing ok..Relady, Petvet, Leah, TRH, Deja Vu and anyone I missed.

"Special People "gathered for a "Special Purpose "and enjoying the love and care at a "Special Moment" [color:"blue"] [/color]

Petvet,

Three secrets... that had to be a shocker! Please be careful. We want you to be happy. Truth is such a huge issue with all of us. I hope you and Buddy can work things out.

Could you read my scenario below. With your accountant background, I would love your input.

Wallace,

Hi there! It will be interesting to see how the saga ends. Will he or won't he??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Well, I guess you have almost a year to decide.


Avondale,

I'm glad to know you're handling the news of your ex-H okay. I'm sure that would take awhile to work through. I know it would for me. I'm glad your kids are there for you.

Deja Vu,

Glad to hear you got through surgery okay. I've been praying for you. I hope this year is one that will bring hope and healing for you.

Relady,

So great to hear from you!! You sound as perky as always. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Hope business and personal life are going well for you. Please drop in more often. We always love hearing from you!

E.C. and Trusting,

Hope both of you are doing well. Drop us a line when you can.

Me,

The battle continues. I'm SO ready for this to be over but it doesn't look like it's ending any time soon. H has appealed the judges decision and that was just the pende lente hearing.

As far as revealing any of his financial info, we have a long way to go. Attorney sent him a twenty one page financial disclosure and has not received a response yet. He was suppose to return the info. within three weeks. That has been over three months ago. He did give her his tax forms but that is all.

I keep wondering how necessary is all of this? Does one really have to have all the cards on the table to successfully divorce? I'm so exhausted with the process that I'm half ready to just settle for whatever BUT I guess I shouldn't do that yet. I just so desparately want peace in my life but if I did settle, would the fight end??? Any thoughts?? Thanks for any input. Take care.

Hi All,

EC...

Sorry to hear that your kids have been in and out of your life.

Do you think your exW is playing a part still in having you look like the bad guy in all this?

Hopefully in time, as they grow older... you can have a nice long heart to heart with them, and lay all the cards out on the table for them to set the record straight.

I know how depressing it can be with having to dredge up all the old "D" papers. I had to do that as well when I had to deal with the IRS over her not reporting all her income in the last year of our marriage... not a happy time to say the least.

Hopefully the 2006 year will be a better year for you. I'm sure there will be bumps along the way... but hopefully the will start smoothing out over time.

Leah...

During my "D", my exW submitted nothing, so we moved forward with the divorce without any of her information, and I just submitted past pay stubs and other associated items to my attorney and moved forward with the "D".

I didn't want anything from my exW but the divorce, but I wasn't going to give my exW anymore than I already had.

You might ask your attorney about moving forward without the info, if you feel you don't need it, or you can supply it from your end.

I know in my State that if you don't meet the deadlines imposed by the Courts... the Courts will move forward and it sometimes goes against them in some Court cases... and the Judge has to rely on the info you submit.

Well I hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

[color:"blue"]PetVet [/color]

Much like Wallace...Ouch! And this after three years of dating. I guess the bright side is that the age is only a year away.

I would be on the cautious side...but that's just me. I think with the next one (if there is ever a next) I would hate to be blind-sided like that after dating so long. But I've learned that secrets are not good for relationships. At least not in mine anyway.

[color:"blue"] Wallace [/color]

A good question was posed earlier...if the two of you had already agreed tht there would be no marriage until all the children were out...why does this thing about marriage keep coming up?

[color:"blue"] Leah2be [/color]

Does it ever end? I sometimes wonder...me and the former have been divorced for over..Hmmmmm...Wow...almost 2 1/2 years now. Gosh, does time fly. She is as angry today as she was during the divorce. There have been several conversations about what I would deem critical i the children's lives and she is always defensive. Hears only what she wants to hear and does only what she wants to do.

The sad part of that is that although the children love her as a Mother when you really listen to them you can detect an underlying resentment and anger toward her. But tht is only something that she can change...and if she chooses not to...only she will suffer the effects of that.

[color:"blue"] Avondale [/color]

Marraige? Already? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Well, as much as I hate to admit it I think my former is trying her best to arrange hers. Only problem being that it appears that the boyfriend is not quite as hip on that idea as she is.

My heart goes out to you as I know how I would feel (even knowing in advance that it quite likely will happen) whne that news is broken to me. Heck...I know how I felt when the YD first mentioned that she might have a step-daddy. A huge sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and heart.

But, like EC says, The Lord restores our souls and leads us into the paths of righteousness. Let Him lead and we will all be OK.

[color:"blue"] Me [/color]

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I had a GREAT Christmas and New Years. The YD and I threw a New Years Eve party and had a wonderful time preparing for it. Funny thing was that no men showed up (I guess they all had other plans) so YD and I entertained a large group of songle women all evening.

On a different subject, I was stopped by a neighbor in the former wife's neighborhood. He was concerned about the amount of time that the children were home alone. In a nutshell he just said that the former wife was never there in the evenings. I pretty much knew that as the children have said the same thing for many months now.

Anyway, I very cautiously approached the subject with the former wife. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Can you say that was the wrong thing to do. She was livid, angry, screaming, shouting. Long story short, it resolved nothing, well, I have to take that back as she has been spending more time at home since that conversation so I guess it did have some affect.

But...four days later I became unemployed. Ouch! But I was suprised at her reaction to that. My concern was the insurance coverage for the children. I explained that I had enough in savings to live for about four months and continue to pay the current child support if she could pick the children up on her insurance. SHOCKED! As she agreed and actually expressed a little compassion about the matter.The first in a very long, long time.

So, here I am looking for a job.

Oh! Avondale...you asked about the OD. She's had her first real boyfriend this year. But they parted ways just last Saturday. He said it was a temporary thing as he had to study for his exit exams for graduation this year. Funny thing was at school Monday he was wlaking down the hall holding hands with another girl. Poor daughter was all upset and called me to see if I would come and pick her up. Which I promtly did. Oh! And she caled me Sunday morning wanting to know if I would come and get her too, wanted to get away from her house.

So...I would venture to say that she and I have a pretty good relationship. We cried together most of the day Sunday as she told me about her breakup and I just listened to her and held her. Mom? At the boyfriend's house.

Hi Trusting,

It's so good to hear from you. I will be keeping you in my prayers in regards to your employment. Was that totally unexpected or did you know that was coming? It's glad you have enough money saved up for the next few months. Hopefully, you'll have a new job by then.

It sounds as if you and your daughter have such a close relationship. That is wonderful that she can look to you that way! That is a huge blessing.

I'm curious... Are you and your former very flexible about your custody-visitation agreement? Please read on and I'll explain why I ask. I'd love your input. God bless.

Hi Avondale, Petvet, Wallace, Deja Vu, EC, Relady and Everyone Else,

Hope you are all doing fine. My current dilema... I try to be flexible with giving H extra time with girls and swaping days and such. But in response to that he is often disrespectful and demeaning of me in front of the girls.
He will put them in the middle with request in front of them and then become negative if things don't go his way.

Does this sound reasonable?.... I'm thinking of telling him that if he continues this type of behavior, we are just going to go with the judges order. Anyone have any experience with this or sugestions of how to help get the girls out of the middle? H will often tell him of his fun plans before asking me for extra time, then I become the "bad guy" if I say no.

Hope you all have a good rest of the week. Thanks in advance for any sugestions.

[color:"blue"] Trusting [/color] - Wow, you've gone through a lot since your last post! I'm very very thankful that your former was cooperative about insurance. I hope you find a job soon, and will keep that in my prayers.

[color:"blue"] Leah [/color] - Your H is being uncivil....which is NOT reasonable. He's continuing to control you because you allow it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I know you feel you're walking a fine line with him, though. Are you making notes of the days/times and substance of his comments? That would certainly be another thing to help substantiate his behavior if need be. Start by reminding him that you're allowing him flexibility. Tell him if he can't be nice (especially in front of the girls) then you will only adhere to the court order, and there will be NO more warnings. Tough Love, Leah!

Hi everyone, I'm back!

I have missed most of the discussions over the past several weeks so am a bit behind on what is happening with all of you.

ME: My surgery went well - in fact the dr's head nurse called me the other day, and said I seemed to be about 2 weeks ahead of schedule and I could start driving! Yikes! I'm only 4 weeks post-op today... and my right leg is not strong enough to have to hit the brakes suddenly, so I'm going to pass on that for now.

I stayed with my folks for almost 2 weeks - a week longer than planned. My dad drove me down to IL where I had my surgery and stayed there with me, plus all my folks did for me - it was the least I could do to stay until my dad could get his new high speed Internet and wireless network installed. He hasn't a clue about this stuff, and there isn't much I can do for them. Actually it was good that I did this, as once I came home I was strong enough to deal with my dogs, up and down 2 flights of stairs 5x a day, and even able to shower alone without fear of falling.

I have not been online much. The many drugs I'm on have affected my ability to stay awake as well as causing blurred vision and dizziness. Up until very recently I was sleeping 12-15 hours a day, and just vegging out on the couch watching TV (reading was too hard on my eyes). But, I'm now able to get up by 9:00 AM or so, and stay awake all day until bedtime. This is a big improvement.

I've sent an e-mail to my lawyer to tell him I'm back. Haven't heard back yet. I've had lots of time to think about this, and am going to ask some tough questions of him now. I'm not sure what I've been paying all the big $$ for, quite frankly.

There have been changes in my H's life that I learned about in the last couple of days. It appears he's severing ties with a few more things and am not sure if that's good or bad. I have to admit to mixed feelings as the realization hits me that he's really going to be out of my life. I know I couldn't go back, but somehow I'm guessing that I haven't dealt with some aspects of this yet.

I started back on AD's yesterday, I'm sure hoping to get my own attitude re-adjusted soon! Hard to be a shut in, still am vascillating between boredom, loneliness, and the desire to be alone and left alone!

Anyway, I hope this finds the rest of you in good spirits -- I'll gradually try to get caught up on what's been going on with all of you.

Hi all! I'm sorry for not getting back sooner.

Leah: I would ask your H for 2005 tax return. If he has not completed his return, I would asked for W-2's and 1099's. I would compare those items to the past three years returns. Many times when folks know they might have to payout funds for child support etc., they try to reduce their income and sell assets like stocks etc. Instead of filing his tax return timely, your H just might file an extension which would push his deadline to August. Also, have your attorney to make a motion to the judge or have your attorney to send a letter to his attorney requesting that all negative comments from H to your kids about you stop immediately, but more than likely the comments will continue behind your back, but at least you will have something in writing.

Wallace: Yeah, I guess one has to be careful about the marriage thing.

Avondale: I'm not surprise that you former is getting M, WS are always looking for love in the wrong places. Regardless of how many women he decides to be involve with, he still has to work on himself. WS don't think they have any problems.

Trusting: One option for you is to see whether you can become self employed. Look at your strengths to decide whether you have skills that can earn you money independently.

DeJaVu: I'm glad you are doing better. Coincedence, I am doing a dog show this weekend. You are not missing much; it's the same ol' politics.

Me: Thanks for your comments on the secrets. Yes, the secrets concern me. She knows that she was wrong. She told me that if she had known that I was going to ask her to marry me, she would have told me one of the secrets. She said that she was caught totally off guard by my proposal. I've told her that there was NO EXCUSE for the age secret. When we first started dating, she was very conscious about the age difference (she is older than I am). She told me that she never expected to fall in love with me. She thought we would go out one or two times and that would be it, but one thing led to another and here we are. She just became comfortable with our age difference within the past year or so. The age difference never bothered me, but I guess I'm not a women, so I figured women are sensitive about age. I grant you that she does not look her age. I have to say that she did forwarn me that she had something to tell me about her family that she would tell me after we were engaged. Only a couple of folks knew this secret. After she told me about the family secret several months ago, I pretty much had figured out what it was. She apologized greatly for the secrets, and I forgave her, but until recenlt, I was pretty HOT about the matter and kept beating her over the head about it. I decided to let it go because I did forgive her, but my antenna is working overtime now. I am looking and watching for similar things from her. My eyes are wide open. I AM NOT BLINDED. My parents issue has something to do with they don't want me to be with anyone because no one is good enough for me. Buddy offered to return my ring to me because she felt she had damage my trust in her. I told her that if I accepted her offer, I would not ask her again, so we are cruising along. We even set a date. I'll let you know later.

Later.

Hey All!

Petvet...

So you have a date set?

Drum roll please... and the date "IS"?

Glad to hear that you were able to get past that... and I'm also glad to hear that your keeping your eyes open.

Has anyone read, Finding the Perfect Mate?

Friend of mine let me borrow it the other day, and I got through the first chapter, and it seems to be a pretty good read.

Deja VU...

Glad to hear that your back and doing better.
Thankfully you had your Parents with you through the whole process... I'm sure that helped you a great deal.

How long do you have to go, until your pretty well recovered from the whole ordeal?

I may have to go in for surgery next month... but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I have to much going on to stop and spend time in the hospital.

Your attorney sounds like my G/F's attorney that she used during her "D". Her attorney was not good, and she is still trying to wrap up all the issues that were not dealt with at the time of the "D".

If you feel your attorney isn't working for you in your best interests... then they probably are not. You may want to dump your attorney and get yourself a good one.

avondale...

Anything else new in regards to your exH and his getting remarried?

I wouldn't let it work you to much... it's not worth the time.

Leah...

Petvet and avondale came up with some good advice.

"Tough Love" for him if he doesn't straighten out.

In regards to you husbands non-compliance in regards to submitting his records to the Court in a timely manner.

You should be able to pull up Joint returns on you own, and submit those to the Courts, or have your attorney file a motion to the Judge for contempt.

Trusting Him...

As avondale stated you have had a lot transpire since your last posts.

I'm sorry to hear that your looking for a new job. Hopefully you will land something that is even better than before.

To answer the question concerning why does the marriage issue between myself and my G/F keep coming up after we agreed that we would wait until all the kids were out of the house is as follows.

We have been engaged for almost 3 years now.

We originally had agreed on getting married 2 years ago on September the 12th.

Approximately one month prior to that agreed upon date, she decided to hold off and not mix the two families.

After a lot of long discussions with her on this issue... I agreed that it would be best to wait until all the kids were out of both households.

Since then... she has tried numerous times to find a way around it. I'm still standing on the no kids aspect of it, and I'm probably not going to budge, which is making her upset at certain points in time.

She has recently stated, that we have been engaged for long enough, and if we don't get married soon, then she is going to break up with me.

My stance is... if she wants to break up with me... then she can. But I'm not going to mix the two families... and that is where it stands as I write this.

EC... and relady...

Hope you two and anyone else that I have missed are doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Well All!

The time has come to say goodbye to the "Tough Love" thread.

It has been almost what, four years since I first posted on this thread?

Thanks to all of you for being there, I will not forget any of you.

I hope everyone's dreams and wishes come true for all of you.

Stay Strong and may God bless you all !

Wallace

I have been sensing the same thing...maybe it's time to close this thread. But I've felt bad about suggesting it since [color:"blue"] Leah [/color] and [color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] are still in the middle of their "wonderfulness" (<--a [color:"blue"]Wallace [/color] term). I guess everyone just has other things going on, which is certainly understandable. I certainly don't want to keep this thread going if there isn't group interest. And lately nothing much is going on.

Everyone has my email address, and I would welcome any correspondence or updates that way, for anyone who is interested. [color:"red"] I can't thank you all enough for the strength and encouragement you've been to me over the last 4 years. [/color]

Wallace, you'd better send me an invite to your wedding! You too, [color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] !

Hello everyone! Its been a year since I have been on this thread and now that I found it again, the thread is closing =( Well hopefully you will come one last time before you go.

When I came on this board a year ago I was lost and desperately trying to work on my failing marriage. My XH ran off with OW he met on the internet. I was left behind with our 2 kids and tried to pretend it didn't happen that he was coming home to stay. I read the marriage building books and came to this board for support. I was needy and you all were there to help every step of the way.

It was the worst time of my life. I didn't have many family or friends around to turn to, so I came here. You guys did not leave me for one second. You listened and offered advice. I read all your posts about your own situations and felt the familiarity of how we all felt.

I just wanted to say thanks. Thank you to all the wonderful people on this thread. The questions, advice and concerns helped me so much through my healing process. Expecially Wallace and Avondale25.

Now a year later, I am doing just fine. Even though I did not reconcile with my XH, I feel the marriage building books, steps, plan A & B, NC ect. are the way to go. They lead you through a healthy recovery.

I am happy to report, that the kids and I moved closer to my family. They are recovering nicely and doing better in school. They have chosen NC with XH (but I have strongly urged them to keep an open mind for the future) As for me, after starting dating again 6 months ago, I have met someone very special. We have been seeing each other exclusively for 3 months now and have just introduced each other to our kids 2 weeks ago.(he is D 3 years and has 2 kids) Its very exciting and I cant wait to see what the future holds!!

Thanks again to all on this thread and your wonderful support!

Hi all!

After I started this thread four years ago, I thought the thread would be a place for folks to go to discuss their marital issues even after I was not around. I do not want to leave some folks just hanging out there without anyway to communicate. I grant you that I have not posted as much as I should, but my time is limited as a single parent, and I do not dare post on my job or clients site, so I do not have the flexibility as I once had, but that does not mean that other folks cannot use the thread if they so desire. To Avondale, Wallace, TC, DejaVu, and the many other folks who have shared their lives with this thread, God bless you.

PS, Wedding is September 2007.

Later.

Hi All,

There's part of me that wants to yell, "Come back, come back, please don't leave." But I understand that it's been a long time for some of you. You all are rebuilding your lives and moving forward as you should.

Can we make it a "see you" or "later"? (In the words of our thread originator) Even if you're not able to post often, it would be great if you could check in two or three times a year. I'd love to know how all your stories end, or rather continue...

Anyhow, to all of you who are leaving, THANK YOU a thousand times over. You have been wonderful and I will miss you greatly.

The process continues. But, I am growing into a much stronger lady through the process. I've learned so much and am thankful for the person I'm becoming. It's been a long, tough road but I am trusting God for a happier future. THANK YOU again for all your help along the way. This "Tough Love" thread was just what I needed.

God bless each of you with all that is found in Him... His peace, joy and love!!

[color:"blue"] Stacy [/color] - It's great to hear from you, and I'm glad that you've continued to grow as a single parent. Your kind words were very much appreciated.

[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - September 2007, huh? That's a long time from now (it seems). Was this timeline your idea or Buddy's? Is it based on other things (ie, job, kids ages, etc.)? Have your parents softened any to this? I hope so. You've been very stoic since you've began this thread. I wish you the best!

[color:"blue"] Leah [/color] - I like your idea of "see you later". I didn't mean to imply I was not going to be here, I still check this thread almost every day. But if no one is posting, I didn't want everyone to think I wasn't interested in being a support to them...this is why I posted my email. I hope you and anyone else will continue to keep in touch with me online or by phone whenever you want, even if this thread doesn't see a lot of activity.

[color:"blue"]Deja Vu [/color] - How is your recovery coming along? Are you walking unaided yet? And is there anything new with your "D"?

[color:"red"] Who else is still lurking here? [/color] Hello to you, too!

Hi all!

Leah: I will still lurk around if you need to vent. With my son and everything, I cannot post as much as I would like. Going through this process does make you stronger. As I have said before, you have to weather the storm and learn from the past because one's past and what we learn from that past affects our future. Once the storm has past, you can begin to see sunlight. Stay strong.

Avondale: Well, I'm not sure I told you, but Buddy is a widow., and she receives benefits as a result. In order to continue receiving those benefits for a lifetime, she has to wait to get to a certain age before remarrying or she will lose the benefits. She is just a year and a half off, so I don't want to mess her up financially when she has come so far and is so close. I'm want to be a team player. What are your plans going forward? Don't tell me it's going to be status quo.

Me: Trying to enjoy life.

Later.