Hi Avondale and Petvet,

Glad to know you both are going to still read here. Avondale,I will keep in touch through e-mail and phone calls too. Lots of times I can't really go into things here because of not knowing if H reads here.

The last step along the way has been for my attorney to send his attorney a letter requesting answers to the interrogatories that she sent back in October. We're still working on getting all the cards on the table, as he's not wanting to pay the needed support. He's saying he can't afford what the judge has ordered, so it seems our only recourse right now is to find out what he does have. The only way of truly knowing is to have him answer questions under oath. It sure is a long process.

PETVET, it sounds as if you're doing the right thing with Buddy. It will be good for her to have the security of having her finances together. I'm glad things are proceding on. Take care.

Hi all!

I'm just checking to see whether there's anyone still lurking.

Take care.

Hi there,

I'm still around - sort of. I'm recovering from hip surgery - hip is doing fine, but muscle rebuilding is slow.

My D is on hold while I was recovering, but will soon heat up again. I can't begin to describe the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I think of it. Or of my H. Or of seeing him again. I just found his ad on Yahoo Personals and it is filled with lies. Yet, as I read it, I can't help feeling deeply sad. With mixed feelings, missing the person I thought he was, reminding myself it was all smoke and mirrors.

Can't help feeling awful that he is advertising himself as being divorced (which he is not), and is out hunting for women. And makes a big point of advertising for someone who is into fitness (something he was never into, BTW) - and during the past few years with my failing hip, I wasn't very into either. And a big point of setting the age range limit he is interested in at just one year younger than I am. He is now into several things that he poo-pooed for years, like reading, being a news junkie, cooking, HAH! I could have fallen right off my crutches laughing, if it wasn't for the tears that were flowing instead.

Ah well, I suppose these mixed feelings are normal. I thought after a year it was all behind me. And, now I'm thinking I never really grieved. So, how does one grieve? What do you do to grieve? I guess I have no idea. But I better figure it out soon!

Well, off I go to lurk elsewhere. Hope everyone is doing well! I miss you all!

Hey Y'all,
I'm here, too. Deja Vu, I'm sorry your situation is getting messier. Remember, you cannot control your H and his Personal Ad lies...they will come back to bite him at some point, but you may never find out about them. Just keep focusing on your PT and getting stronger, one day at a time.

I miss you all, and hope everyone is doing OK <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Post when you can!

I went in to work this morning for a meeting. I started trying to get back into a part time arrangement with doing some work at home for the next couple of weeks, and then ease back into full time.

I had offered to attend a meeting tomorrow when I talked to my boss last week. Now, today, he clearly doesn't want me there, and I'm feeling paranoid. Maybe instead of missing me, they decided they don't really need me after all!

There is lots of reorganization going on, and I'm not feeling real optimistic.

Last week one of my dogs had a grand mal seizure. Took him to the vet. Thankfully it didn't happen two weeks ago when I wasn't driving yet. Or on Monday or Thursday when we got dumped on, and I was snowbound until my plow came (still not able to shovel the driveway yet). But still, I'm worried about him and what might happen when I go back to work FT.

How's everyone else? Anyone else stopping by?

Hi all who are around!

DeJaVu: I'm sorry to hear about the negative stuff your H is doing, but please be reminded that the WS tries to move on with their life as though you don't even exist. As I have told others, hunker down because it will probably get tougher before it gets easier. Your job probably does have the out of sight out of mind attitude. Legally, they cannot get rid of you; however, they can move you to another job. If you want to become self employed, try using your grooming skills or become a vet tech part time to bring in extra money. Just a suggestion.

Avondale: I hope all is well with you.

Me: I'm busy busy busy with taxes and other stuff.

Later.

Hi Everyone,

I thought I'd drop by for a quick hello and see if anyone is still stopping by. I'm glad to see some of you are.

AVONDALE and DEJA VU,

I'll have to give you both a call so we can catch up.

PETVET,

Hope you and Buddy are doing well. Any wedding dates set now? I guess this is your busy season with taxes.

ME,

We still have our court date in April. I truly hate all of this but have to keep perspective that in the great scheme of things, it's not that much longer. I'm so ready to be done with lawyers, court and all. I long for freedom from all the junk. I'm not sure if you are ever really "free" when you share custody of children. But, at least free from the constant threat of court and the unknown of the judge's decision. Looking forward to brighter days ahead. I miss hearing from you all. Hope the rest of you are enjoying the "brighter days" already! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Hi all,

Leah & Avondale - I recently sent you both e-mails. Did you get them?

Petvet - I'm thinking of teaching private agility lessons. If the D is ever settled so I can buy the rest of the equipment I'd need for this.

Hanging in there...

Hey y'all,
Great to hear from everyone.

[color:"blue"] Leah [/color] , I hope you can see the light at the end of things, the completion of this process in April. I would love to hear how things have been going for you, so call or email as you are able.

[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - I know you're busy with taxes! How are things going with Buddy? Are your parents more accepting? You definitely have a "tricky" (as far as legal aspects) situation going on. I am sure you'll handle things with great consideration.

[color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] - I did get your email last week (mainly dealing with mediation). I think it's another one of your H's zany tactics. How are you doing emotionally and physically? Are you still doing Physical Therapy? I know that getting all those bills is very discouraging. Did you have your surgery at a 'teaching hospital' where they can write off some of the cost for you?

[color:"blue"] Me [/color] - I've had a tough week. My FIL (don't quite consider him an exFIL) has been diagnosed with leukemia. At his age I'm not sure what the treatment options are. Due to this, I've had a little more interaction with some of the in-laws, and even got an email from my exH encouraging me to visit FIL in hospital. I did (and I'm glad I did) but it still continues to point out to me that his whole family is still in a fog, and with his upcoming marriage (I still don't know the date) it makes things awkward even talking to my kids about it.

I really would like to know some things (just to settle my imagination) but (I think) it creates a strain my relationship with my daughter if I ask. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I have heard through a mutual friend, however, that my son-in-law will not go to the wedding because he feels that I am H's wife in the eyes of God. But I think my daughter will go. How strange is that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Avondale:

No, I didn't have my surgery at a teaching hospital. My insurance should pay for it... but I AM holding my breath. The up side is that at this point, it IS a bargaining chip re: my D. I can't count on it until it's paid. There are reasons it might not be paid - reasons my original insurance rejected it and why I changed insurance. I went forward with only a verbal approval...

Sorry to hear about your FIL's illness, and your XH's upcoming marriage. It's got to be tough, really tough, even if it's for sure over. As long as there are memories and recollections of lost dreams, I imagine it will never be 100% over for any of us. Just like we burn a tiny candle in our hearts for those who've passed on ahead of us, I suspect our (dead) marriages are in that same category.

Happy Easter

Hello friends! Hope you have all had a wonderful Easter. This was my first Easter without my girls but it was okay. I went to church this morning and had lunch with friends. Then, I came home and painted this evening. I'm trying to surprise my daughter with a new color for her bedroom before she returns.

AVONDALE and DEJA VU,

I've thought about calling both of you but seem to think of it at the wrong times. I almost called you today but then thought you'd probably be busy with family. So, I thought I'd post instead.


ME

This last trial was not my final trial. That is yet to come. So at the moment, I'm still legally married. We were able to settle the issues out of court this past week, which was a blessing.

H is still putting a lot of pressure on me to give in to his demands but I am still hanging in there. I've come this far so I guess it would be pretty silly to cave now.

Hope you are all doing well. Post when you can.

Hey All!

Just thought I would drop in and say hi.

Today is my 4th year anniversay of the day my now ex-wife walked out the door... and we have still not heard a peep out of her.

avondale...

Sorry to hear about your FIL. How is he doing overall and what is the prognosis for the long term?

It is strange that your D will go to your ex's wedding, but your SIL, refuses. Usually it's the other way around.

My children would not have gone to my exW's wedding. In fact... as I write this... they still don't want anything to do with their mother.

Deja Vu...

Hope your feeling better... and recovering well. I may have to go in for surgery next month... not looking forward to that.

Leah...

Glad to hear your finally making some head way. It has been a long road for you. Hopefully it will come to a conclusion sometime soon. It never ever goes away... it just comes to a conclusion.

Petvet, EC, Trusting Him and anyone else I missed...

Hope you are all doing well!

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi all! Yes, I was busy with taxes and my regular customers.

Avondale: I must have missed something which was easy for me. Your ex is getting remarried!!!! I thought he just starting dating someone. It's hard when one has to interact with folks from a prior life because it brings back memories. It is sad. I recommend that you try to support your FIL as best you can. Try to take the high road and don't pay any attention to your ex's foolishness.

Wallace: Yeah, I'm like you. Unconsciously, I remember the anniversary of my divorce. I have been divorce for three years and former left me five years ago. I'm glad you are doing well.

Me: I'm doing fine. I celebrate my birthday on Monday.

I really miss you guys.

Later.

Hey Petvet,

Well "Happy Birthday" to you!

Your B-day is on the same day as my Mom's B-day, and my YD's B-day is the day after that.

I got B-days coming and going all month long this month and next month.

I miss you guys too!

I've been so busy... but I'm going to try to make an effort to stay connected to MBer's boards... it's hard to stay away from these boards. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

If I go in for surgery next month... after I get out... I'll have about a weeks worth of down time.

I'll try and stay in touch more often.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

[color:"blue"]Petvet [/color] - Happy (belated) birthday! I am glad to see you survived another tax season. What's new with you and Buddy?

[color:"blue"] Wallace [/color] - always great to hear from you, and see your posts elsewhere. I think you and everyone here has a lot of wisdom and insight to share, which can help others coping through this D mess.

[color:"blue"] Leah [/color] - How are things going for you? Take Wallace's byline, and "Stay Strong". I need to take some of my own advice, I think <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] - How are you? Have you had your mediation yet? If so, how did it go? I don't remember if you gave the date or not.

[color:"blue"] Me [/color] - Well, my ex-father-in-law died last night. I have all along planned to go to the funeral. My daughter called a little while ago and told me the plans (ex-FIL last wishes) are for my Ex-Hubby to speak and play a piece on piano.

Now I'm not so sure I want to go to the funeral. On one hand, I want to go to show I "got over it" and have moved past the hurt, also to see the "GF" that Ex-H has. (I admit it!) On the other hand, I will have to see the "GF" being pals with my kids when the family is seated up front, and also witness the hypocriticalness of my Ex-H speaking from the pulpit in a church. I feel sick in my gut, haven't felt this bad emotionally since I found out about the A four years ago. Any advice? Will I regret not going in later years, or will that look bad to the family? (I continue to be on good terms with ex-MIL and other in-laws, btw.) Should I just swallow my pride and go, but not linger? Please help me sort this out before Friday morning!

Hi avondale,

I didn't see this until just now... and I know Friday has come and gone.

I am so sorry to hear about your ex-FIL. Hopefully you did decide to go (as hard as it must of been). You were in a very touchy situation... but sometimes you just have to be the bigger person... pay your respects... not linger around... and leave.

What did you finally decide to do?

My prayers are with you and your family, as it always is a very traumatic experience when a close family member passes.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

[color:"blue"] Update on me: [/color]
Yes, I decided to go to the funeral. I had two good friends with me, which helped. That morning, my BIL called and said the family (I actually think he said my H) would like me to sit with them if I wanted to. Because it was kind of last minute, I declined since there would have been some seating details to further work out (didn't want to sit next to H's future wife!). I also found out through my son that H's wedding is in 3 weeks. Bummer <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

That did help me, though, with realizing a little bit of "where I am" with the family. Also, after the funeral, all my neices and nephews (they're all in their 20's) came up to me individually and said they missed me! So a little validation went a long way. Thanks for asking!

[color:"red"] How is everyone...maybe we should do a once-a-month check in or something, even if nothing specific is going on...? [/color]

I thought I might check back in to see how you made out.

I'm glad you went... as you are in fact the better person, with no reason to feel guilt or anything negative about yourself amongst the people that you have known and cared for.

I don't blame you for not sitting next to your exH. That would of been a little much IMO.

So your exH is getting M in 3 weeks?

You really have to wonder what runs through their heads, when you hear about things like that.

When my exW remarried... it brought some sort of closure to what our situation had been. Hopefully it will do the same for you as well avondale.

A once a month check in sounds good to me... count me in.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

[color:"blue"] [/color] Wallace, [color:"blue"] [/color]

Hi! Great to see you posting again. I hope your surgergy goes well this month. How are you and your girlfriend doing? Are you still together? Will she be helping you in your recovery process after surgery?

[color:"blue"] [/color] Avondale, [color:"blue"] [/color]

I've been thinking of you and praying for you in regards to the upcoming wedding. Just as you were able to go to the funeral and show yourself to be a strong and forgiving person, I know you will get through this as well. God will give you the strength and grace to accept this and move forward in life. I'm sure He has something special for you!

[color:"blue"] [/color] Deja Vu, [color:"blue"] [/color]

I've been thinking of you too as you recover from surgery and deal with the on-going divorce issues. I know how draining the whole process can be. You, too, are a survivor and you're going to be okay. How did your mediation appt. go? Are you going to be able to settle things out of court?

[color:"blue"] [/color] Petvet, [color:"blue"] [/color]

Have things slowed down for you at work or are you still busy in May? How are you and Buddy doing? I hope well.

[color:"blue"] [/color] Me, [color:"blue"] [/color]

I'm trying to "Stay Strong". My husband, his attorney, my attorney and I are all going to meet on Wed., the 10th. I'm praying for a miracle! I'd love to get this thing resolved out of court - If we came up with an agreement, we could actually be divorced this month, as it will be a year since he moved out.

I so much long to have peace with him but I don't know if that will be possible. Anyhow, we're going to try. Please stay in touch. I'm always glad to hear from all of you!

Hi All,

I hope all is well with everyone.

Avondale: I'm sorry to hear about your former FIL. One of the bad things about ending a marriage is that many times the relationaship one had with the inlaws ends as well. It's especially hard if one had a good relationship with them. I would not have sat next to your former hsuband either.

Wallace: I'm glad you are still checking in. How is everything with your GF.

Leah: Are things winding down with the D?

Me: I'm still plugging along. Buddy and I are doing well.

Later.