Hi Everyone,

Sorry it's taken me awhile to get back here. Life has been extremely busy. All three girls are involved in sports. The younger two are playing soccer and the oldest is in JV volleyball. So, I'm on the run most days.

We didn't end up going to court on the 15th. We made a last minute deal with insurance and the guardian ad litum. She came for her first visit yesterday. Things seemed to go very well.

I am now past making offers with H. I've tried and tried and have reached a point where I'm going to let the judge decide. I don't think I could do any worse than all of the current offers that have gone back and forth. I don't want to give up any more time with the girls than will be necessary.

So, no more "Mr. Nice Guy" for me. H's put me through enough and will probably keep fighting me until the girls are gone. I think I'll need every penny the judge might award me. I have now reached the point where I'm going to let the consequences come for H. I've tried to protect him for too long. This is life and it's what "sowing and reaping" are all about.

Enough about me.... How are all the rest of you?

DEJA VU: I am thrilled to read your latest. It sounds as if things truly are turning around for you! Yeah! Is your divorce finalized now? If so, congratulations! Time to start a new life and move forward. I wish you all the best!

PETVET: How are things with your family? You certainly are in a far different place than you were years ago when you began this thread. Isn't it nice to have all that stuff behind you?

AVONDALE: Hi there! Hope you're enjoying a nice fall. It's been beautiful up here with the change of leaves and blue sky. I imagine the cooler weather is heading your way soon.

HI TO WALLACE, TRUSTING HIM, RELADY, EC AND ALL OTHERS!

Please write sometime and let us know how you are. We miss hearing from you!

He Lives!

What can I say? I really thought I could make it in life without Marriage Builders and Tough Love 2 but I guess not! :~P

Just kidding of course. But I sure have missed each and every one of you all here. Ive got TONS of reading to catch up on so I can't really say that I know what;s going on in each of your lives. But quite sure I will know real soon.

Leah2be - Briefly read a few and it sounds like you're still in the same boat. Prayers are still going up for you and the girls.

Avondale! - Man have I missed you! *throws tons of hugs toward Avondale* Opps! That's probably the closest I've come to flirting in almost - Hmmmmmmmm - Gosh! I've been divorced for three years now and still no dates <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Not really (the sad face). HAving a GREAT time where I am and spending loads of time with my son.

PetVet, Wallace adn everyone else. It sure is good to see some familiar names still around here. Maybe tomorrow I can catch up on the reading. Raining here in Atlanta which means I probably will not work tomorrow. (yes, change of jobs and now I'm working construction and LOVING it)

Untill later Folks!

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

:~P

Hi all!

It's great to hear from you'll.

DeJaVu: I am happy to hear that things seem to be coming to an end. I'm surprise that mediation worked. Keep hope alive.

Leah2be: YOU MUST PROTECT YOURSELF. Let your H have it.Hang tough. Remember, he started all this because of his lack of commitment.

Avondale: I hope you are doing well. How is your social life?

Trusting: Glad to hear from you again.

Wallace: Where are you?

Me: I miss the old days. Sometimes, I wonder is it best that I stay alone.

Later.

[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - Great to hear from you. The personal update you gave was a little cryptic. Did something happen between you and "Buddy"? When you say "old days" what were you referring to?

[color:"blue"] Trusting [/color] - It was great to see your post, too. I am glad you're able to remain positive! What an example for us <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> As I said before, you were missed (along with everyone else, too!)

How's everyone else doing?

I just posted (in a separate post) about my divorce becoming final last week. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3122429

I didn't find out until just a couple of days ago... so it is sort of anticlimactic. It was final on my most special dog's 12th birthday, and 2 days after this dog earned his tracking dog title. Not sure what that means, but it is kind of cool because this dog has always been there for me, and as we all know, XH has not.

I wonder when it will hit me? In some ways it doesn't feel any different, as I've been on my own now for almost 2 years. I suppose the main thing is lifting this fog, and not having to put decisions on hold anymore.

How is everyone else?

PetVet... what's up with you? deciding to stay single after all?

Trusting... I don't think you were around here much when I started posting, but I have read a couple of your posts.

Avondale...Leah2B... thanks to you both for your support over the past many months. Leah, I guess now I can say, someday there will be an end in sight for you too. I am surely rooting, and praying, for you.

Wallace... how R U?

Anyone else out there?

Hey All,

How is everyone doing?

Well it took me forever to log in, as I forgot about the password having to be in caps.

Well a few things have changed in my life.

My YD who was suppose to be going to College, decided to turn it into a big party for herself, so I decided to have her go out on her own, and see what life is really all about. So no more money for her tuition, and she had to get her own place as I could not sit back and watch her throw her life down the drain.

My G/F has given me a drop dead date of June the 1st of next year to either marry her, or she is going to break up with me.

Both of us are gearing up for the break up as I am still not sure if I want to commit to another marriage.

Aside from that, I'm doing pretty good all in all. I've been real busy with life... which seems to be a full time job all in of itself.

Deja Vu...

I'm glad to hear that you finally got through the legal process. I can't believe how long that took.

Petvet, avondale Leah, Trusting, EC, Relady and anyone else I might have missed ...

How are all of you doing?

Let us know when you get a chance

Well I thought I would drop by and say Hi to everyone, and check in.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi everyone,

Seems like a lot of cold feet around here. I can sure relate to that. There comes a point when re-marriage has a new set of risks for many of us.

Anyway, Wallace, it's good to hear from you.

Hope everyone else is well.

How are you making out Deja Vu?

What do you have planned for the Holidays, anything worthwhile?

I don't know about you... but I still dread the Holiday season.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

It's great to hear from both of you! I had just about given up on any Tough Love alumni returning to Marriage Builders!

[color:"blue"] Wallace [/color] , it sure sounds like your YD is following after her older sister. How is the OD doing these days? Better, I hope. When you say "drop dead date" for marriage, what makes this time different from other dates that have been set for that event?

[color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] - Have things gotten better at your job?

[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - I miss you - have YOU set a wedding date yet?

[color:"blue"] Trusting [/color] - I hope you're doing well and enjoying God's grace!

[color:"blue"] Leah2Be [/color] - what's new with you?

[color:"blue"] Me [/color] - I am also dreading the holidays. This Thanksgiving instead of the 20 in-laws I used to have, I am going to join some friends. You know, I'll be the person they all feel sorry for <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Hello to [color:"blue"] EC, Relady [/color] , and everyone else!

Hi avondale,

Good to hear from you... and it appears that your feeling the same way about the Holidays as I am.

My OS and myself will be going to my G/F's new house for Thanksgiving. All of her kids and her mother will be there... so it should be a real experience. I would personally like to just stay at my own house... but that is not going to happen.

This drop dead date is not like the others. She has it set in her head that if I'm not married to her by June the 1st, then that's it... she is going to break up with me.

We have not been getting along very well here lately because of this threat hanging over my head. I don't work well with threats.

Anyway, I hope your doing well, and don't let your friends feel to sorry for you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I hope the rest of the Tough Love Gang is doing well.

I'll be in touch.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

While have time today, I want to wish everyone on the "Tough Love" thread and on MBers a "Happy Thanksgiving"!

I hope you all have and wonderful day and may God bless you all.

Stay Strong!

Wallce

Hey All!

Thought I would drop in and wish everyone a "Happy Holiday", a "Merry Christmas", and a "Happy New Year"!

I'm doing O.K., and I hope everyone else is doing good as well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi Everyone!

I've been thinking of all of you and wanted to drop in and wish you all a very Merry Christmas! It's always good to hear from all of you!

I now have a final court date. Yeah! I'm so ready for it to be over. The date is March 21. I'm still hoping and praying that it can be settled out of court but I don't know if there is much hope for that. I'm curious, did most of you settle out of court?

Avondale I was happy to hear from you by e-mail. I hope you are still doing well and are all ready for Christmas.

Wallace So often I think of your line, "Stay Strong" That is one of my main goals these days. I'm glad to say that has probably been my number one change these past few years. I'm a much tougher lady than before.

As far as you and your girlfriend, most of us don't work well with a threat hanging over our neck. I think it's understandable why you are not having much fun. Maybe she's really not for you. I think if she was you would know it by now. Just my opinion... I hope life gets happier for you!

Petvet Speaking of girlfriends, your last comment leaves us all guessing. Are things okay with you and Buddy?
I hope you are okay and that you and your son have a great Christmas together.

Deja Vu Congratulations! Wow, it must feel great to have the divorce behind you! I'm glad you are now free of that and wish you all the best in your future. Sounds as if your job situation is looking up as well! That's great!

Trusting Him It was good hearing from you. I'm so glad you're loving your new job! That is good to hear. Keep us posted.

Merry Christmas and God bless each of you with peace, joy and love!

Hi all!

I have been on the beach relatively speaking.

Wallace: The old drop dead date. It seems that your G/F is flexing her muscles again. Have we been here before? You better get out of the way before you get a black eye, or even worst. I was telling someone the other day that if my son does not go to college at eighteen, he has to find a job. I will start to drive this home to him when he turns eleven. Kids have to understand that their parents are not going to be around always to take care of them. They have to take care of themselves. Good job Wallace. Advice: If you don't see a future with G/F, let her go. Time and life are precious. Don't waste it. If you can go through a divorce and survive, you can end a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.

Leah: Sweetie, you have come this far, so be patient and wait till March. Stand by your rights. Stay strong.

Avondale: How are you doing? Is your ex still making a butt of himself? Check this out, I know someone who is dating a girl over thirty years his junior. She's in her twenties, and he will turn sixty next month. It is time for you to fly.

Me: All is going ok. Buddy and I are getting married in September 2007. My ex has reared her ugly head again. I had to file a contempt order on her because she cancelled our son's health insurance among some other things. Needless to say, she and her family are out with me. I cannot continue to allow her to walk all over me. If one is not going to follow the court order, what's the point of having one. I wish everyone a happy Christmas and New Year.

Later.

Happy New Year everyone!

Wallace - your story reminds me of the movie Groundhog Day - the more things change, the more they stay the same. Hope this takes care of itself for you, sooner rather than later.

Petvet - some things never really go away, do they? Sorry your ex is still making problems.

Leah - I'm praying for you for March. Send me an e-mail or call if you feel like talking.

Avondale - how R U? Long time no hear!

To others I've missed - I hope this will be a better year for everyone!

Me - My XH contacted me to see if I'd remove the lien on the house so he could sell it for less than he owes on it. Huh? Says he'll still pay me my money, yeah right. The track record supports that, oh sure. So then he says if I don't do this, he will let the house go into foreclosure and I'll not get my money anyway. Then he suggested it would mess up my credit - NOT! my name isn't on the house OR his mortgage anymore, and we are not married either. It's interesting that he says I'll get my money if he sells the house without being able to pay my lien, but not if it goes into foreclosure - same deal as far as I can tell. He'll have to come up with the $$ either way. Or maybe he has another wrinkle up his sleeve.

On the upbeat side, I got a new puppy for Christmas! It's like starting out the new year without the ex, and WITH a new little spark of life instead.

Cheers to everyone!

Hey all!

Just thought I would drop by and see if anyone is still around.

Life is going all right for me... nothing really new to speak of.

YD is causing me problems, even though she has been out of the house for about 6 months... so I cut all contact with her off.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

I'm still around, although I don't check these boards daily like I used to. In fact, it's been a few weeks since I've been here.

I'm glad I saw your post, Wallace. I'm sorry to hear about your YD. I know that is hard to do, but love has to be tough, right? Are you still in contact with your OD?

Not much new with me at all. I may be having a job change soon and of course, I'm still fantacizing about retiring and living at the beach <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I sure hope other Tough Love alumni will check in periodically. It's always great to hear from y'all!

HI EVERYONE!

I had to stop by and let all my old friends know some important news. H and I met with a mediator and worked out an agreement! I took less than what I probably could have got if we went to court but I'm okay with it. My main concern was getting custody of the girls and that I have!

I feel comfortable with the financial agreement that we have and feel that the girls and I will be taken care of. I told H I was willing to take less money in our settlement if he could offer enough support so that I could work part time the next five years. My main priority was being able to be here for the girls as it won't be long and they'll be gone.

It just seems kind of unbelievable at this point... after eight years of trying to save this marriage, it's really ending. I've had a whole bag of mixed emotions over it. I'm sad to know it never did work out yet I am also relieved to have it finally resolved. It just took so long to get here. But God has been faithful and has taught me so much. I'm trusting Him to use it in my life as only He can. I'm ready to move forward to brighter days!

I hope each of you is doing well. Please drop in and give an update every now and then. I think of you and wonder how each of you is doing. God bless you!

Hi all,

I posted here recently after Wallace's post prior to his last, and I see it did not show up.

Wallace: I'm sorry you are having problems with your YD, but all you can do is raise the kids as best as you can. At some point, they have to make their own decisions.

Avondale: I'm glad you are happy and things are going well.

Leah: If you are please with everything in the settlement, I am happy for you. I know a load has been taken off your shoulders.

Me: I am doing well.

Later.