Great to hear from you, Petvet.

Well I am at a new stage of "wonderfulness". My ExH got married last weekend. To my surprise, I haven't obsessed about it at all. I didn't fantasize about crashing the party, or even ask my kids (who went) what they thought. I guess I've finally realized "it is what it is". Took me long enough, didn't it? LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

How is everyone else doing these days?

Hi all! I hope have a good holiday. Not only remember the died, but the wounded as well.

Avondale: It's best to try to put the ex out of your mind and move on. You have to take of yourself now. Find your happiness. You are on your way.

Wallace: Hope all is well!

Everyone else: Keep in touch with us.

Me: I am doing fine. I am headed to Jamaica for the first time this weekend for a family vacation. It will be my kid's first plane ride. I hope he doesn't go crazy.

Take care.

Hi all!

I'm just passing through. Hope all is well with everyone.

Later.

[color:"blue"] Wallace [/color] - If you're still reading this, did your GF wear you down and put a ring on your finger?

[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - Good to see you're still around, albeit with "drive by" posts!

[color:"blue"] Leah [/color] - I know you're still in the throes of settlement. Were you able to get the data you needed? Email or call me when you can!

[color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] - I haven't heard from you in weeks! How are things going? Have you been able to finalize things yet?

[color:"blue"] EC [/color] - Hope you're doing well. What are your summer plans?

[color:"blue"] Relady [/color] - I don't know if you're reading this, but you're in my thoughts!

[color:"blue"] Me [/color] - I'm taking my grandmother's ring (it's obviously an antique, art deco style that doesn't look like it's marriage-related) and having it sized to fit my now naked fourth finger on my left hand. I still have an indentation from my wedding rings even after 3-4 weeks. But I am at peace...hey, I have to be - it's certainly out of MY control!

Hey All!

Thought I would check in after a very busy 4 weeks.

Update on myself:

Went to the doctor a couple weeks ago, and I have to go back July the 11th. I'll probably know more after that... but at the moment it's not looking real good.

G/F went out and bought a brand new house which is about 26 miles Northeast of Denver. Needless to say... I am not very happy about it, nor am I very happy with her. I wasn't consulted about it at all, and she expected me to marry her and move in to her new house. Not happy with her at all!

I highly doubt that her and I will get married. With what she just did... it really made me take about five steps back, and really look at the whole situation. Needless to say... that's not looking real good either.

avondale...

How are you making out since your exH remarried.

Don't take it to hard... it won't change a thing, and you need to start looking after you.

Petvet...

Hope you had a good vacation in Jamaica man. lol


Leah...

How are you making out with your settlement with your former? That's been going on for a long time now... are you getting close th finalizing the whole thing yet?

Well I hope everyone is doing well.

I'll be in touch.

Stay Strong!

Wallace

Hi everyone,

Just dropping by for a few minutes... I apologize for having gone dark for so long, but my life has been so hectic I'm barely surviving the hassles.

Wallace - sorry to hear about your G/F, but I too see red flags a'flyin' - what's up with your health? I hope you will be OK.

Leah, Avondale - long time no hear. I hope things are going OK with you. Avondale - sorry about your XH's remarriage. I did know about that, and followed your story about that wedding. Leah - haven't heard from you lately...

Petvet - guess I missed the note about your vacation. I'm jealous!

Me: too much going on and too many tears in my beer. Finally finished and mailed my taxes to the accountant today. My insurance is still denying my $45K in claims; my D is still going on, and I think will continue until one of us dies.

I'm still recovering from the surgery, not able to get down on the floor yet, or able to mow my lawn (at least not the part that goes uphill.)

H is now claiming the house has depreciated by $125K and therefore no $$ left for me. And that he, of course, can't sell it now as he owes more than it's worth. My position? So sorry, so sad - he took money out for his debts that were supposed to go to ME FIRST to pay back my pre-nup money. So, he's going to have a lot of $$ to pay back. I can just see me with my 6 figures gone and nothing left but legal bills. Geez - how can this stuff happen? It just blows my mind.

This just never ends, and my attorney is too conservative, and is not wanting to make waves, it seems. We'll see what happens at the next mediation - there is a pre-trial scheduled as well as a final trial. Hopefully we won't have to go that far, but I no longer have much faith in anything.

One more thing going on - my job is not real secure right now. There are consultants in trying to decide what to do with my department, and several people have already quit. Not sure there's enough folks left to still be useful. So we'll see... I've sort of started an informal job search. But don't really want to do this until the D is final.

I'm thinking of all of you often - and will try to stop by more often now that a few things are off my plate.

Hi All,

It's good to read updates from each of you.

WALLACE- I'm sorry to hear you're having health problems. I hope things are okay. Please let us know how your Dr. appt. goes on the 11th. I'll be praying for you.

Also, that's too bad about your girlfriend. It seems there have been a number of question marks for quite awhile. Are you still seeing her? Maybe, the house thing was a good warning flag. Of course, if you're like me, you need to have about a hundred of those flags waving in your face before you get a clue. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> I just always want to think the best. Take care of yourself and stay in touch.

DEJA VU - I can so identify with where you are. It can seem like such a never ending process with the only benefactors being the attorneys. Yikes!! I'm so sick of it. I hope either your job holds steady or something even better opens up for you. Hang in there with your recovery. It sounds as if you are slowly getting back on your feet. I'm sure it's hard to be patient with the whole process. Keep looking up!

PETVET- It's always good to hear from you, even if it comes in a drive through fashion. Smile. Hope you had a great time away. Sounds wonderful! How did your son like flying?

AVONDALE- I was thinking about giving you a call tonite. Then I thought I'd check in here first. I'll try to call sometime in the next few weeks as the girls are gone right now. Hope you're doing well.

RELADY, EC and Trusting Him - Hi to all of you. Hope you can stop by and drop us a line sometime. We always enjoy hearing from you.

ME- We weren't able to come up with an agreement last negotiation. I'm now busy filling out pages of interogatories. Such silliness...in that H knows every penny I've received over the past eighteen years of marriage. But I guess it's all part of the lovely process.

I'm bone weary of this divorce. I keep hoping we can come up with an agreement that would make court unnecessary. But, at this point H will not agree to the necessary amount. Sometimes, I'm ready to take anything to have it over but then sanity prevails.

I'm not even looking to having equal or fair distribution of assets. I just want enough to comfortably raise the girls and have enough to start a retirement fund. He can have the majority of the assets. But, if he can not give at least that much I will have no choice but to go to court.

I've also had a difficult time with my in-laws. They use to be so supportive but now have totally turned on me. They have pressured me with phone calls, letters and e-mails. They are trying to get me to give into their boy's demands. They are not wanting him to experience the consequences of his choices. It's such a sad situation.

Yet, I'm not giving up. Life will get better someday. I'm still trusting God with all that I don't understand. I believe He has a hope and future for all of us. It just might not happen in our time but His.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[color:"blue"] Wallace [/color] - It’s good to hear from you, even though the news of your possible medical problem is sobering. I hope the fact that you don’t go back to the doctor until several weeks after the previous visit is a good sign. Please keep us updated about that. I’m kind of blown away that your GF went ahead with the house purchase. Where do things stand with you two now?

[color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] - I’m so glad you posted, but saddened to hear your situation is still dragging on. The job uncertainty has got to make your stress level go over the edge. Try to stay calm <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I think you’re wise to not get into any formal job searches until the D is final, or at least farther along.

[color:"blue"] Leah [/color] - So glad you posted, too. I have been thinking of you, and wondering how those interrogatories were going. Just play his game a little bit and do them, get them over with, and move one step closer, I suppose. It’s sad to hear your in-laws are creating havoc, too. Just let their comments go in one ear, and out the other. Don’t take on any of their baggage. They are very deceived about their son, which is so easy for parents to do. They possibly feel like if they have to lose one child (you or him) it will be you, and they want to cement their relationship with him. Did your pastor ever meet with them again about your situation?

[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - Tell us about your trip, eh, mannn. Did your son get de uppy-chucky on de plane? Did anyone else go on the trip? So you go an order nother round of margas and sit back, relax and remember now dat you be hom. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


[color:"blue"] Me [/color] - Not much new here. I went to the bank last week and stood next to someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, and didn’t recognize him. It was my ex-husband! He looked VERY different, imagine clean cut (formerly) to Grizzly Adams (current look). I must have stood there for 5 minutes before I realized it was him. Then he looked at me (glad I put on lipstick before I went in!) and we said “hello” very civilly. And that was it. Very strange feeling, but I feel I handled it well. Just a surprise at the way he looks.

<bump> anyone around?

[color:"blue"] Wallace [/color] ,
I know today was your doctor visit - please let us know how you're doing. I will send you an email, too...just in case you don't check back here soon enough to suit me!

Hey All!

Well went through all the tests with my Doctor yesterday, and I'm happy to say I flew through it all with flying colors.

I was surprised... as it appeared I was going in the direction of needing heart surgery.

I'm happy to say... that is not the case... my heart is in good shape.

In regards to my girlfriend and I... we are still together.

I had to laugh Leah about having a bunch of red flags waving at you before it all sets in. I think I run the same way.

G/F is moved in to her new house and is now nesting. She likes her new place a lot, so I guess all the headaches she had going were worth it for her at least.

She did place a ring on my finger avondale, and now wants me to marry her and move into her new house with her. I told her, that wouldn't happen until next June at the earliest, as my YD is still going to College.

avondale...

That is pretty wild, running into your H at the bank and not
realize it was him. My exW probably wouldn't know me either, as I have let my hair grow out as well. It's not real long... but long enough. My girlfriend hates it... but that's life. She buys a new house, and I let my hair grow out.

Leah...

I'm sorry to hear that you are still going through all the motions of the divorce with no end in sight. This has been going on for what seems like forever. No mediators to step in and help out?

DejaVu...

Hope your making a good recovery after your surgery. Do you have anyone to help you with any of the day to day chores.
That has to be pretty tough on you to try to do it all by yourself.

Prayers for you DejaVu.

Petvet...

How's things going for you?

You and Buddy get a firm date on when you two are going to take the big plunge? Just the thought of marrigage scares me to death at this point.

EC, relady, Trusting Him, and anyone else I that I might have left out...

I hope your all doing well and give us a shout when you get time.

I'll be in touch.

Stay Storng!

Wallace

Hi all!

Avondale: I can imagine how you felt running into your ex. After the closeness both had at one time, it was like you guys never knew eachother. I'm proud of you how you handled everything. I told you that your ex is in another world.

Dejavu: Your situation cannot go on forever. It has to come to an end sooner or later. Once again, stay strong and pray.

Wallace: I'm happy your health is good. Time is on your side when it comes to marriage. Let her wait until you feel the time is right.

Me: Getting ready to head to Hilton Head next week for vacation II. I did not like Jamaica.

Later.

Hi all!

Just checking in. I see no one has been here in a while. I will continue to check in.

Take care.

Hi Everyone,

WALLACE,

So happy to hear everything checked out okay at the doctors. What a relief that must be. I'm glad to know your G/F is happy with her new house.

So when it comes to marriage, is it going to be a go when your youngest is done with college? I'm sure your girlfriend will be more than ready for it by then and you'll have run out of excuses. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

You asked about mediators. Actually, we've been to see two of them. We've also had three "Four-Ways" ( Meeting with his attorney, my attorney and us ) We've met with two counselors. We've met with the pastor of the church. We've been to court twice. And the list go on.

All this and we're still no closer to a solution. He's still fighting for custody and a reduction in child support. We're also headed back to court Sept. 15th.
So, I appreciate the prayers to "Stay Strong". I need them.

HI TO PETVET, AVONDALE, TRUSTING HIM, DEJA VU AND ANYONE ELSE I MIGHT HAVE MISSED.

Hope you are all doing well and enjoying life. I'm hoping DEJA VU and I will be enjoying life more once all this yuck is done. Take care everyone!

Hi everyone,

Stopping by... missing this thread actually!

Leah, I'm with you girl, SO with you! Mediation, court... same stuff. I have mediation tomorrow, then court on Thursday and who knows when we'll have the final hearing. Sounds like similar stuff for you. Are you staying strong? One of these days we should chat again... is there any end in sight for you? what will it take to end it?

On the good side, my sister is helping me with getting my documentation in order and is coming to the mediation sessions with me. Thankfully a sense of sanity when I'm not keeping it together, I don't know what I'd do without her.

My health is improving, and I've actually ended my PT now, in pretty good shape again, finally. Still get tired, and have hired lawn service to do the mowing this year. But I can see the end in sight, and am now able to run with my border collie, atleast somewhat!

Wallace, so glad to hear about your clean bill of health! Bet that's a load off your mind.

Petvet, how was Hilton Head? What's wrong with Jamaica? Not that it's on my short list... but one of these days, I want to take a warm vacation!

Avondale? Long time no hear... how are you doing? Hope that XH stuff is behind you now.

Anyone else I missed?

[color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] - It's GREAT to hear from you! I am so glad things are winding down for you (the drama, not your marriage). And that's wonderful news that you don't need PT anymore. Congratulations! I know this has been a long summer for you with both impending D and PT.

Things with me are the same...no dating (which is OK), no traveling (OK since latest terror scare), but I have done some things around the house by myself, which makes me proud.

How is everyone else?

Hi all!

Dejavu & Leah: Go luck in your mediation. I hated the mediation process. I considered it a waste of time. I wish you luck. If you can make it work, it can save you alot of money in attorney fees.

Avondale: I am glad you are OK with things in your life right now. Stay in touch.

Wallace: How are you doing?

Me: All is well.

Later.

OK - here's an update - finally! My last mediation was Monday. Presumably we now have a deal. It's not a great deal, might not even be a good deal - but it's one that is most likely to yield me SOME $$, get rid of the scum that used to be my H, and get my name off his house and his name off my house. In other words, set yourself free...!!

His attorney has managed to deliberatly screw up everything and back out of every agreement we've ever had, so neither I or my lawyer are confident she will do the right thing now either. But, he and the mediator have taken steps to make it difficult for her to pull anything more. So, God willing, we'll be done with this in a few more weeks.

On another note - last Thurs I was on vacation, trying to get the wiring fixed in my garage (because it was filling the garage with smoke!) getting my brakes fixed on my car, etc. when I got a call to come in to work. My boss was fired, the department reorganized and we were to meet with the new boss that afternoon. So, OK, I don't need job security - - -

Well, though it looked bleak and a bit scary at first, it is for the best. I've now met with my new boss, and feel quite optimistic. I may finally get a chance for a new position, doing something I'd rather do and thought I was hired to do in the first place. Then today I get a call from a former co-worker telling me about a new job he wants me to apply for in his new place. Yup, things is lookin' up!, Yup.

[color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] - That is GREAT news about your job! And I'm so glad that it appears your settlement is winding down. You've had more than your share of mess with this. I'm sure you will have a full "fresh start" when it's all behind you.

[color:"blue"] Leah [/color] - I haven't forgotten that your court date is tomorrow. I will be praying for you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

[color:"blue"]Petvet [/color] - I'm glad you still check in here. I do too, and sometimes post on other threads. But it's not the same as our old Tough Love group.

[color:"blue"] Wallace, EC, Trusting Him [/color] , and anybody else - give a lil post once in a while!

Leah, drop in and let us know how you are doing, OK? Thinking of you today!