you are right about that. even though i have 2 friends, one here and one who lives far away, that i have confided in, it is so much easier to talk to someone in the same situation. i sometimes feel like they want to say, get over it, get on with your life, you chose to stay with him so deal with the consequences... you know what i mean?? so it just gets frustrating, and here, no one ever says that. not that sometimes you hear what you don't want to, but it is out of experience and usually helps to put things back into perspective. sometimes reality seems a distant memory, and it helps to be snapped back into it. <P>i sometimes feel like i want to leave. i am only 24 and could marry again someday i am sure. plus we have no kids, well, he does. ouch. but i love him and don't want to leave. i have thought about it seriously and know i am in it for the long haul. we are supposed to be renewing our vows in the church for our 5th anniversary, because we just got married by the JP. and i hope it will be a fresh start, by then this should all be settled. i have even toyed with the idea that since we will actually have pictures etc at this wedding, that we could just pretend that it is our anniversary date, so i don't have to deal with telling our kids someday. what do you think?<P>well, write me if you need someone to talk to! take care, until next time...<P>happy_girl