2[QUOTE]Originally posted by lostsoulmate:<BR><B>Mike I have to admit we have not. We asked OW not to contact us until after the baby is born and a DNA is conclusive.</B><P>Hey, that is handling it! Good move! Did she acknowledge that request and agree to it? I hope it happens that way...I mean, no contact. Not to get your hopes up, but I suppose there may even be a slight chance that she'll fade away....maybe she was sleeping with someone else and the kid isn't your Hs....or maybe she'll find a father candidate who wants her for his own without a step father around. <P><B>But the lawyer I had contacted (she's a divorce laywer) has not returned my calls. And I'm not sure how to go about getting in touch with the right person. Any suggestions? Do you or anyone else have any advice for me on getting a laywer to represent us or give us a consultation at no charge?</B><P>Yes I do. Go to the Martindate-Hubbell site and do a search for family lawyers in your area. Here's the url: <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html</A> <P>And forget about the no charge. Get good representation now and find the money for it. The money you save on cheap lawyers and accountants is the worst investments you make in life. An initial consultation shouldn't be too much money.<P><B>His co-workers and employees go out after work a lot to drink at the Hilton and other bars. My H feels as though this is something he'd like to do every so often.</B><P>Well....I'm sort of an Irish social drinker, so I'm more likely to be inclined to say throw the guy a bone once in awhile for good behavior and let him stop in for a beer. I can't remember where the OW is...obviously, if she is a co-worker who might be at these gatherings, the answer is a triple no. And if there are young women or it is a singles environment that might have you sitting tortured at home, then that would weigh against it.<P>But if I were you I might say something like....look, I want you to not feel like you are in jail for the rest of your life, but you have to appreciate how having you out late at night drinking is a real torture for me while I get through this trust thing. Give me a few weeks. Besides, we need the beer money for our legal bills (no, don't say that, it would be a lovebuster Then maybe, in a week or so, reward some sort of good behavior by saying that if he wants to stop in for a beer with the guys after work tomorrow, that's fine. You'll be looking for him at 11:30 pm. <P>Another idea....maybe get a babysitter and join him one night there? Or have dinner with a girlfriend and have him and his work pals join you? At least you could scope it out and see if the scene makes you nervous.<P><B>I have to admit I feel embarrassed that I still haven't done anything in that respect. Like I let you down. But I'm just so exhausted by this whole thing it takes so much just to take one step. Can you shed any light? I could really use the help right now. Thank you Mike for remembering me.</B><P>Look breaking off contact and demanding the DNA test was the best thing you could do for now. What was making me nervous was the emails between him and the OW discussing money and paternity. That could still come back to haunt you in court. As I said, you probably don't want to be making momentous decisions right now...you need to process all this and work out your own relationship.<BR> But I seem to remember that the OC birth date was aways off still...december or something? Go get that consultation now...the lawyer will set your mind at ease. <P><BR>

Mike I did a search on the website you provided. It came up with nothing. Then I searched California alltogether and came up with 3 option. Only one near me was in SF. Could that be right? Only one family lawyer in all of the bay area? Am I doing something wrong?<P>------------------<BR>Lost Soulmate<P>"Character is doing what's right, when no one is looking"