sorry, the title is weird, i don't know what happened. i guess i forgot to put a title. anyway, i am starting to worry now more about the child support, court, etc. especially about the insurance. the child is on state medicaid now, so i am sure we will be responsible for medical insurance. is there any way to still have no contact between us and the OW? if we got a plan with no copay? or even had a notarized letter for OW to carry saying that all copays be billed to us, etc. i doubt they make her responisble for that, like it couldn't come out of her child support payments. i just really want no contact with the OW. she doesn't seem to want contact with us either, but i just want it to be like NONE.<P>i have been trying to figure out how we can do this. our best bet is an HMO so that it is only the copays we are responsible for, and of course the monthly premium. do they take that into account, the premium i mean, and lower the support a little? probably not huh. <P>all ideas and experiences from those of you already paying support would be appreciated.<BR>thanks...<P>happy_girl<p>[This message has been edited by happy_girl (edited January 28, 2001).]

HG,<P>Well I have talked to you a little bit about this. I don't know what the courts will say since you all live in the same town. I assume that they will make your H pay for a plan of some kind. When the OW fills out paper work she will have to put him down for the one who is financially responsible. But like most doctors there will be a copay, and I am sure she will be asking for that when she has to pay it out. Which is stupid, she should be able to pay $10 for her own child.<P>Lord, help you if the child really needs medical attention. We were lucky in the fact that our OW never asked for that. But I am sure that if anything happens to her job she will be asking for it. I hope that you won't have to deal with this, but if she is on aid, I am sure they will make the two of you cough it up.<P>babstr.

HG:<P>As far as I can tell, the OW pays the copays herself. <P>The court doesn't focus on the 'small stuff' in our case, probably because they are going for the whole enchalada. The court mandated health insurance so my husband put the child's name on the plan, a card was sent to OW for OC and we haven't heard a peep since.<P>I can't imagine a busy court having the time to pick about copays but who knows, they have their noses in our shorts about everything else.<P>Catnip =^^=

thanks guys. i can't actually see her calling us, she really seems content at not talking with us. she knows she can't have him, and that he won't play games with her. i pray she just takes her support and stays the heck out of our lives. <P>can we use a post office box as our address for court papers since we will have no visitation and she will have sole custody? i don't want her knowing where we live, especially when we move up north. <P>happy_girl

i posted my questions on the law boards, and got some good news. it looks like we can have her either send us the bills with in 10 days of receiving them, or maybe have them sent to us directly. and i was told to make sure if it is an HMO to stipulate that if she doesn't use the PCP or goes out of network, that she will be responsible for the bill.<P>i hope they are right. it is worrying me sick right now. i have nothing else to think about and and obsessing...<P>happy_girl

HG:<P>You're moving too? When?<P>There isn't any reason in the world why you and your husband cannot use a PO Box. You can even make it sound like an apartment by giving the post offices address and instead of submitting PO Box number 1200, you can list just plain #1200. Unless they ask specifically, i wouldn't give any information voluntarily.<P>PS...Dont worry yourself sick over this. It is not worth it, not big enough to impact you. Save your strength for the majors.<P>Catnip =^^=

hey catnip. we are just moving to a bigger apartment. a 2bedroom 2 bath, with a washer and dryer. we live in a 1bd/1br and have no w/d. so it will be so much fun for us to have the extra space and not have to use quarters. we always save all our change and then when we get about $100-150 we go to las vegas, it pays the hotel and some of the gas. now it will add up so much faster with all those quarters. yeah!! we love vegas.<P>thanks for the info on the p.o. box. had no idea it could sound like an apt. thought it had to be p.o. box whatever. someone on the law board said we could use that for coorespondence but courts would have to know our physical address.<P>i just dread packing by myself since hubby is out of town, though the movers are moving the stuff and he will come home for that weekend to help and to celebrate our 5th anniversary!<P>take care.<P>happy_girl

happy, congrats on your new place. On the insurance thing it says in our papers who ever can get insurance threw there employer without cost is to get the insurance which in our case sleezy has insurance. Ill be damed if he is going to pay for insurance on her kid when our own dauther or me dont have any. It also says he has to pay 1/2 of uncovered med havent got charge anything yet which that is bull **** too . That was the same way it was wrote up in my divorce with my 1st h we have two together oldest is 24 so it hasnt changed. I never went after him for anything I paid doc bills myself. I dont think we will get that lucky thou.Wish I could help ya move. I havent had to do that in almost 14 years. Good luck on your new place with love flowerseed<P>------------------<BR>`Look ahead or you will find yourself behind.

hey flowerseed, she has no job and he has no insurance available to him at work. so we have to get a plan i am sure. lucky us. i am really excited about the new apartment. thanks.<P>and now the OW told my brother in laws ex that she wants to talk to my husband again. that she doesn't want to go through the courts and she wants to work it out on their own. the results are already filed, whatever they may be and she can't mess with the state. like this is just a game to them, no it is big bucks. i can't stand her. h doesn't want to talk to her. i explained to him that it is only to benefit her that she wants to stay out of court. she certainly isn't worried about our financial wellbeing. so i hope whatever she fears comes true.<P>argghhhhh. just had to vent.<P>bye!<P>happy_girl<p>[This message has been edited by happy_girl (edited January 29, 2001).]

happy, have you got any test results yet sounds kinda like she may be afraid of something. very interesting Iam sure if you have you would have let us know. with love flowerseed

One option that my sister-in-law did was to put the OC on her insurance (her work allowed that). She and my brother were totally covered through her work and otherwise would have had to paid for a new policy for OC. Since they already had family coverage it didn't add any cost to them to add OC this way. Just an option for those who can try to do it this way.<P>Carolyn

We did that for a while too. I had coverage through work, and I guess by law, they have to allow you to add stepchidren, which the oc qualifies as. To make it even better, the child support vultures actually deducted the amount we paid for family coverage from ow's support entitlement, so in a way, she was paying for our health care. That was nice. In our case now, ow gets state aid for health insurance, but my husband is responsible for the first 250 dollars a year in out of pocket expenses. If I were you, I would see if such a limit could be put on your cs agreement. I am also concerned about college expenses, although noone is ow's family has even come close to getting into college. (Her family is such that about two years before the a with my h, her older sister had an affair with a mm, who ended up pushing her off a second-floor porch and killing her when she threatened to tell the w. at least that's the way I understand it happened. You would think that the family would learn from this. But I think that it is in their blood.) And as for summer camp, etc., once in a whle the courts will frown upon what they see as frivilous extras. Let's all pray that this is the case. And how is this for a not-so-serious question: I was watching a news program that detailed your chances of getting killed in an automobile accident, which are for all of us, it seems, extremely high. Why is it that the ow never crashes and burns? Wouldn't it be nice if all of our ow would just pair up and run headlong into each other on the highway? What are the odds, do you think?

thanks for the info takingcare and cdcollins. i can only hope they don't make it easy or at least lower the support a bit if the premium is high. i don't have any coverage but for me at work, and i will be quitting there in june to go to school full time. he doesn't have benefits either, so i guess we will have to find her a plan. i will find the most restrictive HMO i can find. will be a big shock from all the choices you have here with state health insurance. lol. <P>flowerseed, no official results yet, but i would have to imagine that they would have filed to close the case against him if it had not showed to be his child. so i keep looking in the mail. i called the lawyer, who had surgery and hasn't called me back since last week, and his voice mail box is full, meaning he hasn't checked his messages. sounds terrific. so i don't know what is to happen next. he said we should start paying even before the court hearing, as soon as results come in that is, so that it looks good to the judge. i don't know about him...<P>well, talk to ya'll later.<P>happy_girl<p>[This message has been edited by happy_girl (edited January 30, 2001).]

CD:<P>The odds of this kind of thing (OC) happening to us is akin to winning the lottery. Some lottery.<P>As for the OW who was killed by the MM, I find it curious that this had no impact on her sister. I would think that something that traumatic would be a little like aversion therapy. Sometimes history repeats itself in families...<P>The head on crashes between our collective OW's is an appealing fantasy. Thanks for the wistful smile. (sigh)<P>Catnip =^^=