It's funny how in spite of our pain, we don't wish any further pain on our suffering, remorseful spouses. I, too, try like hell to keep my husband from feeling guilty and so deeply saddened by what his actions have caused. This is a very, very tall order, too, because when I am having flashbacks and bad memories are triggered, I often force myself to not say a word so he isn't punished further. This isn't good for me, so I bring the rage here and try to get through the terrible times where it is safe and he isn't beaten down like a sick dog.<P>I promise, Gem. It does get better. I am over two years past this and we are just now doing exceedingly well. Please remember this stuff is fresh to you; you're in the early stages. No, you will never, ever forget it, but you will get past this. I hear three years is the turning point, so we have another year before the dust settles...and then there will be occasional issues cropping up, but by then we will be stronger yet.<P>I'm glad you didn't throw in the towel and are giving it another shot. Your husband sounds so ripe for renewal and recovery. It would be a shame to miss the opportunity to experience what I have been lucky enough to discover in my marriage.<P>Patience, understanding, forgiveness, compassion...and passion. These past three months, especially, have been purr-fectly wonderful.<P>Catnip =^^=

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Patience, understanding, forgiveness, compassion...and passion. These past three months, especially, have been purr-fectly wonderful.<P>Catnip <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I like that....purr-fectly Catnip. I have to tell you THAT was ok even Thanksgiving night when I called smashed drunk for him to "come" over. He did and he did. And I hated and wanted him at the same time. The passion has not faltered and I never think of him w/her when he's with me. How's that for confidence?<P>I was on line showing him pictures of other breast augmentations of the size I'm getting.<BR> He can't wait now either! Amazing!<P>Floored, thanks for the encouragement. I feel heartily sorry for your situation and pray for you each day. (I pray a general prayer for all our "members"... for peace in our lives....and to allow us to accept the path HE has chosen with solace) I follow your posts and am dumbfounded for the right words. Forgive me....I think your wife is being an [censored] not to be w/someone as moral and loving and gentle and PATIENT as you. I will dedicate a special prayer for you and your wife and children.<P>As for naming the "twins"....how 'bout tit-n-tat ? ha ha ha... <P>He came home and talked to Fr. Bliss by phone earlier. It's been "normal" tonight. Talked about going to Bahamas if I'm ok by his b/day...March 11. <P>Hey.. the girls get unwrapped on our 27th anniversary....March 2......Best gift he ever got..(besides ME)<P> Thanks to all for your letting me see the right "path" to follow....I'm blessed by such "close" friends. Truly I am....<P> Debi <P><P>------------------<BR>Imagine....