Josh:<P>I'd still encourage you to try Harley's phone counseling. Your pastor may be a well-intentioned man, but it doesn't sound like he had much of a clue on how to motivate you both to work on this marriage. Getting a professional involved who knows what they're doing is well worth the expense at this point.<P>The alternative for you is divorce. If that happens---you will probably not get physical custody of your kids. As someone who values family life, that ought to be enough motivation for you to get moving on the counseling. And don't worry about your wife's "lack of love" at this point---I personally think that's a good thing (in a way). Romantic love can be rebuilt and restored---and that's what Steve or Jenn Harley would be working with the two of you to do. The alternative would be that you have a wife who is "in love" with you, but finds it OK to have serial affairs. That would be much more difficult to deal with, from a trust standpoint.