Dear doubletrouble,<BR>I can't speak for anybody but myself, but I think a lot of the betrayed wives would agree with me that we would have welcomed the opportunity to adopt and raise the oc as one of our own. I'm betting that even those who are anti-contact would consider raising oc if it meant that there would be no more contact with the ow. I personally would have loved to raise our Darling right along with our boys. I feel that I would have been a very loving and committed parent to her.<P>The problem is that ow would not even give me the opportunity. She says that she considered giving oc to her father to adopt, but would not even think about letting me adopt the child. Probably for the same reasons you are worried about: She most likely felt that there was NO WAY on earth that I would accept oc as one of my own. But I would have, if only she would have let me. For her, the idea of getting a huge chunk of my h's pay for 18 years also was a deciding factor, unfortunately.<P>I'm not suggesting that this scenario is the "right" thing for you to do. Maybe it isn't. But perhaps you could broach the subject with mm and mm's wife, if he continues to be reluctant to allow the child to be adopted elsewhere. If I were you, however, I would insist that there actually "be" an adoption, if you would choose this path, because otherwise, like Bystander said, you'd be on the hook for outrageous child support payments.<P>Chances are that the wife is not the monster he has made her out to be. I know ow was surprised to find that I cared enough about oc to start visitation, even though it meant continual contact with her. You might at least want to explore that option.<P>Best of luck with whatever you decide. I am glad to see another woman that isn't adament on keeping a child for extortionary purposes.<BR>-cd

Once I was over the initial shock, I would have gladly taken in OC and raised her and loved her as my own. I would still do it today<P>MJ

I understand that some of you wonderful ladies would have adopted your OC and treated them as if they were your own. But you guys must remember he already has ANOTHER oc and she has NOT been very accepting of her. She understands thathe feels obligated to be a father to that OC because she is here. He initially wanted that OW to get an abortion but she told him that she was already over 6 weeks pregnant and her doctor told her that it would make it harder for her to have children if she aborted after the 6th week. I'm not sure if that's true or not but it really makes me nervous because I want to have children someday---<B> after I graduate from law school </B> and can fully support a child but if it would hurt my chances of having children later in life, I will not have an abortion. I will have no choice but to raise the child on my own. The way I feel right now (I'm just soooo disgusted with him) I don't want him to have anything to do with my child. I don't want his money, I don't want him to know him or her. I know that won't be fair to the baby, but I don't see how he could possibly be any good for my baby. It just amazes me how he can be such a model police officer---straight as an arrow, follows the law to a "T", knows the law like the back of his hand, is EXCELLENT in executing the enforcement in law, has climbed the ladder of promotion far faster than his peers he entered the job with, but yet he's such a <B> SCUM BAG </B> on a personal level. It's like a dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde type thing. It's actually starting to depress me knowing I will be a single parentbut I'm going to give it my all and be determined to do a good job. School will just have to wait for a few years. I just know that God will never give me more than I can bear.