Twiisty and Dawn,<p>Thanks for your support. Twiisty I'll look for you this weekend.

H and the boys just left to go on there first visit with OC. We don't know what to expect. exOW never responded to our email setting up a visitation schedule. H said she knows this is my time so I'm just going. I kept my baby home with me she has a cold. My son is afraid of exOW because of an incindent we had at a doctors office. Anyway I hope everything work out H says he will leave if she's there. Wish them luck.<p>Unsure

I only have a minute. Visitation was a bust. Not only was exOW there but her entire family was there. We sent the visitation agreement on Thursday she never responded. She could have given H the option of taking OC on Sat instead of Sunday if she had something planned. My boys were really upset by this. I am tired of caring about someone eles's child and she can care less about mine. That's why I will advise all you newbies if you H is willing to consider NC do it. Having contact is not worth it especially when you dealing with someone that's spiteful and can care less about their own child well being. I'm so pissed that my children were hurt by this. exOW excuse to H was well today is Easter! She's had OC for the entire day my H was only going to take her from 4:30-6:30 a lousy two hours! Thanks for letting me vent. I sent our lawyer an email and aksed him what our options are. We are sick of dealing with someone who feels as if she can ignore every court order. Contact is not worth the hassles. Most of these women knowingly and willingly share our H's body with us and when they realize they were nothing but a peice of a-- on the side they turn against us the BS's and try to make our lives miserable. I jumped off that train a long time ago and I refuse to let her take control of any aspect of my life again. She can do whatever she wants with her kids as long as it doesn't affect mine. Thanks for allowing me to vent I'll update you with our lawyers response. <p>
Unsure<p>[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: UNSure919400 ]</p>

Tee, I am sooo sorry to hear that the day turned out that way! I think that it's terrible that your dh is supposed to face this all on his own. *She* can have her whole family present, but he can't have his there? (meaning you) I can't imagine that having one more person there would've made a difference. The xow sounds like a real bite in the a$$! Don't even try to understand her because you never will. How could you? You're nothing like her. <p>Keep us posted.<p>tinlizzy

Unsure, I'm so sorry your family is dealing with this. They are right: you'll never understand her. It's like oil and water, evil and good. You can pray for her because only God could change a leopard's spots, ya know?! I think you're making a good decision on your children's behalf. It's too bad trying to do the right thing doesn't work out more often. <p>God bless and may peace attend thee.
J

Oh well, let xOW go ahead and ignore the court orders. She doesn't realize she is only ruining her own credibility and chances to have you all involved in her kids' life. She's behaving very foolishly. Hmmm... but then, is that anything new??? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Do you guys have to send your kids next time? I agree with you that is going a bit too far, exp. if your kids are wary of xOW. She sounds like she wants to play hardball and she is not even in a position to play that game... DUMB!

Unsure,
I am also sorry that the visit turned out the way it did.
Do you think if the next time ExOW ignores the rules that your H could possibly say "This is what the court order states, and if you are not willing to abide by the rules, I am leaving"? Sort of call her bluff so to speak. Maybe it would take only one time for her to see that your H won't play her games. <p>I am dealing with the same sort of OW here also, and H is now starting to let her know that her changing of plans will not be tolerated. <p>I agree with you with the NC, this is so difficult for me also. I just want to put this whole A behind me and move on, but when twice a week we are involved with the 2OC, there is no healing time. <p>Hope your little one is feeling better. <p>Tina

hello,
If there is a court order then your H can call the police and have them there to pick up OC if she refuses she can be in contempt. By doing this, you might have a good chance to get full custody. Or more time with OC.<p>Dawn

Thank you all for your support! <p>Tinlizzy-The court order states no one except my H, our children, exOW parents and OC is suppose to be in the house. She totally ignored the court order. If I attended one of the visitation sessions the police would be called. I know I will never understand her I was just upset and venting yesterday if I was like her we wouldn't’t be dealing with contact.<p>Jenny-I prayed for her yesterday asking God to open up her heart and mind so that she would put her child needs first. The bible says we should pray for our “enemies” (that how she wants it) so I’m going to try doing that.<p>BTDT- I know that her being an idiot re: our kids and the visitation agreement is only pushing my H away. And you know how I feel about it. I'm can careless at this point and that's really sad to say. I still harbor no anger towards OC though to me she's innocent still. The main purpose for these visits are to get the kids used to each other. I’m going to ask the lawyer if H can pick up OC and drive back to our house and pick up our children. <p>Tina-H stood up to her the last time she broke the court orders and it worked she never showed up at a visit again. The only reason he did not get into it with her this time is because she had 30-40 relatives at the house and our children were there. He will take a stand with her if she tries this crap again.<p>Dawn- Read the update below.<p>
Update- H and I talked last night. We didn't want to talk about it until the kids went to bed we didn't want them to get them as upset as we were about it. He said exOW opened the door and when he stated he was there to pick OC she said but it’s Easter why don’t you bring the kids inside and sit down for a while. H stated No, forget it I won’t have the visit today but I do want my sons to see their sister. She again asked him to come inside and relax with the rest of her family for a little while. (Gagging as I type this) He said No again and asked for OC’s coat and brought her to the car to see the boys. Thank God he did not take the boys out of the car once he saw the number of cars in her mothers driveway. We promised OS that he would not have to be around exOW. She of course stood in the door looking at the kids while H was showing them OC. YS son stated mom, I think it was her mother (exOW mother) standing in the door way looking at us. I asked him what she looked like he said she was a medium fat woman with long hair. I asked if she looked old? OS said she looked older than you but younger than what her mother would look like to me. I said well I’m not sure who that was because I didn't want to say it was exOW. My kids were on the street while H walked up the driveway. I think OS knows it was her but doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. I asked H later and he said it was her who opened the door. <p>What pisses me of is that my Mom said to me you know if she’s there she going to want H to come in and bring the kids so she can sit with him and act as if they are a little extended family. H mom MIL of the year. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Stated the same thing to me and she didn't even know my mother said the same thing. H agreed he got the feelings she was trying to pull some crap like that so that she could go in front of the judge and say well him and his kids spent Easter with us. I don’t understand why I can’t be around for the visits etc…… <p>Anyway, I also talked to the lawyer he stated even though exOW violated the visitation agreement, the judge did not order specific dates and times and left it up to us to set up the visitation arrangements. He said it’s not worth it to file a contempt motion. He will bring it to the judge attention when we go back to court in May, that exOW blatantly ignored his order which was that H have his first un supervised visit this week and that she totally ignored our email. He told us to send her another email that’s not acrimonious in nature and tell her to respond by Thursday morning. He said once she agrees to the set dates and times if she’s at any of the visits she can’t say oh it was a misunderstanding. So I sent her an email stating: Since our email dated etc was ignored that we were resending our proposed visitation schedule. And I asked her to respond by Thursday 4/6/02. If she doesn’t respond to this email he told me to call him and he would take it from there. He hates her guts but he knows she could get in front of a judge and say oh I thought etc…. So he said we have to get her agreement to the visitation schedule which is an outline of the next 7 weeks. We do not want to email her weekly to confirm the visits last time they just gave her an opening to send us argumentive emails. We ignored most of them but who wants to deal with that crap. Thank you all for your support and I’ll keep you updated. Any other advice/comments would be appreciated from all especially form you who have visitation. <p>
Tee

QUOTE]He said exOW opened the door and when he stated he was there to pick OC she said but it’s Easter why don’t you bring the kids inside and sit down for a while. H stated No, forget it I won’t have the visit today but I do want my sons to see their sister.[QUOTE] <p>Tee,
Your H handled himself perfectly under a very difficult situation. He showed exOW where his priorities lie (hope grammer police don't see this) [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Tina

Tina, <p>Thank you. For yor support. I think H handle this the right way too. That's why if you look at my lastest post exOW reacted the way she did.<p>Tee<p>[ April 02, 2002: Message edited by: UNSure919400 ]</p>

Tee,
your H handle himself very well. Good for him. Well, hopefully ex-OW will respond to the e-mail.<p>Dawn