exOW seems to have a boyfriend. She brings him with her on several exchanges. These are the times that she puts the carseat in the back, not the front as she normally does, and actually buckles it in on these occasions!<p>Our lawyer has been kept up to date with each concern of ours. She has been great. We will be going back to court in the future over the petition for custody that H filed. But as for DCS/CPS, they don't want to deal with us anymore.
They know that we have done our homework. We printed out all the DCS policies in regards to cases like exOW, and confronted the caseworker with them. She refused to talk to us anymore after that.
Then they finally made their adjudication and pulled out of the case. <p>Are there any other BSs out there that are trying the "go-between" role? I know zebrababy mentioned in a post that she carried food to the exOW's home, what about anyone else that has contact with the exOW?
I am needing to know if and how, I can set it up LEGALLY to make exOW deal directly with me.

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s_L, have you ever offered OW a lump sum of cash, for custody?<p>Just a thought, ember

It is against the law to buy a baby, I dont think that is sound advice, that could lose them permenant custody.

Stacia,<p>I wish I could offer some advice. <p>Yes I was the go-between for a while. OW would constantly try to find angles to get H involved. At the time my H was very lenient and seemed to even justify her contacting him. (didn't do much for our POJA) He would always answer: she is my daughter, yadda yadda yadda.<p>Finally I put my foot down after the food incident. H FINALLY realized that she was using any excuse to get him to come by or talk to her. Then and only then did he get firm with no contact to him (only through me).<p>
Unfortunately OW hold a lot of cards. And when they are being unreasonable it's a hard cookie to crumble.<p>IMHO, I think the best you can do now is work the angle to prove her unfit, and that will leave you and H open to receive sole custody.

Stacia,<p>I wish I could offer some advice. <p>Yes I was the go-between for a while. OW would constantly try to find angles to get H involved. At the time my H was very lenient and seemed to even justify her contacting him. (didn't do much for our POJA) He would always answer: she is my daughter, yadda yadda yadda.<p>Finally I put my foot down after the food incident. H FINALLY realized that she was using any excuse to get him to come by or talk to her. Then and only then did he get firm with no contact to him (only through me).<p>
Unfortunately OW hold a lot of cards. And when they are being unreasonable it's a hard cookie to crumble.<p>IMHO, I think the best you can do now is work the angle to prove her unfit, and that will leave you and H open to receive sole custody.<p>Best of luck, you got a tough one to deal with.
I wish I had some better advice,
Z.

Thank you ALL!!<p>It&#8217;s a sticky situation and I know that it may take a long time for exOW to make her big mistake, but that is just what we have to wait for her to do.
The biggest thing I hate about the whole situation is that Lil Bit is stuck smack dab in the middle. I am afraid she will be the one to pay the biggest price when exOW makes that mistake.
I pray that the mistake she makes does not cause pain to the baby. I don&#8217;t think I could contain my anger if something happens to my sweet little one. And I am sure that if something like that does happen to her, H will completely lose it. <p>Thanks again for all the words of encouragement&#8230; I needed them more than you know!
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Stacia,
I was wondering if yout know her boyfriends name? Can you do a background check? Maybe try talking to her on Wedsnday to see what she says to you. Maybe you can call her and talk to her? I believe that there is no legal agreement for the people that are the go between. Just something that they all agreed to.<p>Dawn

Dawn,
This latest bf we don’t know who he is.
We do know what he drives (thus he is nicknamed SuburbanMan by me and dh) AND I have the license number written down.
I don’t know of a way to do a background check just using the little information that I have. <p>We have had a background check done on exOW and it only turned up the information regarding her son and petty theft in her teenage years.