Fluke,
I know what you mean about seeing the OC. I want to so much. I saw him at one month and he did not look like my H at all. But it is really hard to tell when they are babies. My h's friend said the baby has changed he no longer has the black hair and dark eyes. It is blond hair and blue eyes. But that can change again. OW has black hair and dark eyes like my H. And my is H hispanic. He does not look hispanic.<p>My OW is not married, so I guess she is free to go after my H for CS at anytime. <p>So, your OW had an open marriage. Did she say she was not having sex with her H or anybody else? <p>So, on the birth certificate, OW h's name is on it?<p>If, she is willing to talk to you. Maybe you can talk to her again about paterinty testing.<p>
Dawn

Fluke, what I have learned with all of this, is that each of us responds differently to these situations. Each has our own time of healing, and doing things to hasten the healing.<p>I sense you feel not knowing may be disrupting your life somehow. <p>If not knowing is hard, perhaps for you knowing would be better.<p>As for me, I wish I never knew, this never happened, my H was never so foolish, so stupid, and picked a different woman to have an A.<p>I have to say-If I were the WS, and ended up pregnant, I would not want the child from the A--too painful for all, including the child. But that is what works for me.<p>Do whatever you think is right for you. you are in my thoughts.

Hello dear members of this section of the forum,<p>This discussion has gotten a bit heated. Please play nice, okay? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] It's been such a breath of fresh air to see how peaceful it has been in here lately. Thanks to all of you and your combined efforts. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>This is a public forum. Considering the subject matter of this forum not to mention this section, people are bound to have difference of opinions. This above all is a section where the emotions are exceptionally high & raw. Just try and remember we're all here to deal with and heal from the pain that has resulted in our lives as a result of infidelity. To find comfort, support and lend a helping had out to our fellow members. <p>So; if we could ALL try and be kind to one another, it will continue to be a safe haven for every one here to benefit from.<p>Take care all; and God bless,<p>[ June 01, 2002: Message edited by: Xarelel ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by fluke:
<strong>I am not going to stay in hiding
regarding oc. There is something I can do
about that situation.
.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hey Fluke<p>Since I usually hang out in the "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie" camp, after reading your posts and your reasons, I see that the only way you will get any peace is to empower yourself.<p>The best way to do this is to get to the truth. I liked MJ's post to you with sound advice of setting up a fund and to accept the blessing of not having your pocket picked or have OW interference regarding visitation or involvmenet of any kind because this is what I dream of for me. But, for you, you need something more tangible for the reasons you stated. I also think Gem had a great suggestion of alerting OW to the fact that you wish a meeting to give her time to tell her husband about the question of paternity.<p>I'd hate for you to find out that the OC is your H and end up ruining your finanaces and rake away the peace in your home, but if there is no peace because this is gnawing on you, it is time for you to empower yourself and gain control of the situation...force a showdown, if this is what you need to do. Just realize the consequences.<p>I sure do udnerstand your dilemma, Fluke, and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...it is good to know you are still around and check in...you've been missed.<p>Catnip =^^=