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<small>[ August 21, 2002, 11:00 AM: Message edited by: ohbratti1 ]</small>

look this started out as my thread, and got ugly so I decided we should be more pleasant I change the tone, I saw no reason to argue. and the hamster thing, my son really did lose his hamster AND i WANTED to find it.

as far as the rest I think we are just chatting because it isnt argueing.. I dont see a big deal.

mo5,,,,, i have been out of town and just read the start of this thread. i didn't have time to read all the responses so this may have already been said. if so i appoligize for the repetition(?). in mho in no way should your om and his wife use your d as a leverage tool in their own dispute. i would advise you to tell your om that until he and his w have worked out their differences then he should step up and be man enough to avoid all verbal conflicts with his w while your d is present. also don't allow him to bring his marital problems into your house.
one other thing is that you may want to give some thought to your position of om's w being in your d's life should they seperate or divorce. it would most likely depend on the closeness of her and your d along with your d's age. but i don't see where her being involved would be a given. you and your h should sit and stew that one over awhile.
good luck with this and as i read more i hope i find that the seas have calmed down.
pops

Thanks pops,
I agree with you it has no place,
I will be honest if they divorce or she leaves, I would not continue the relationship between d and her.. It would not sit well with om, and the fight would not be worth it.

Om and I had a long talk tonight about this mess, and I have come to the conclusion he is just a man who likes to throw a fit when he doesnt get his way. I dont know how to reason with him any more, and he is only concerned with getting his way.
He actually told me.. I need to do as I am told.... those were his exact words I think he lost his mind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
Tomorrow he will know how stupid he sounded and will call full of apologies.. I am growing weary.

tomorrow is another day <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I hope you and full house are well.

i know exactly how tiresome these types of situations can be as i went through much of the same crap with my oldest son (although he was not from an a, but a broken relationship). it went on with him until i let him read my journal of the trials with his mom when he turned 19 (i believe). i hope your reply to his exact words was some where along the line of excuuuuuse me.
thank you for asking of fh and myself. we are having a pretty rough time at the moment. long story and i don't type fast enough to get it all down right now. maybe on another post if i can find time. i think things will calm down again in the next day or two. i have been having a real difficult time lately in letting go of some of the anger. i don't exactly know how but it seems it has raised it's ugly head again.

pops
we all have days like that.
Yes I responded with something close to that but can not say on here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> He always thinks because he is years older than me, I should just bow down and worship.. I just get frustrated with things and want to run away.

My husband is away at the moment in another state, WE miss him and I seem more easily upset by om's coments than normal. I should let it roll off my back.
He screams and yells, then offers to come over if my husband is gone, that makes me angry, because he thinks this is all a joke.
It isnt a joke it is my life and how dare he make light of it. There is alittle part of me that would love to give him a dose of his own, but I wont, I will remain quiet and say nothing, but I may tell my husband. Not sure yet.

He comes up with the most unreasonable request and expects me to just roll over and do as he says. Even though he knows that they are dumb request.. he does that so he can then change it and make you think he is doing it for you.. I know I have watched him at work for a long time. He plays games with me and his wife, mind games and they arn't fun any more,[maybe I am growing up] lol
guess I am having a bad day as well. haha
I started a journal this morning, and moved all my stuff from the calander to it, so I ill now keep trac of all things said and done.
I can still be nice , but protect my self in the process.

<small>[ August 22, 2002, 08:35 AM: Message edited by: mom of five ]</small>

He yanks your chain .... and he gets "something" for it. If YOU can figure out the "what's in it for him" ... and radically change your response so that he is denied his ??? whatever-it-is???? ...... and you do that enough times and consistently ... he might get tired of yanking your chain ... cuz there's no *cookie* in it for him.

In other words .... use child psychology on him ... and with all your kids .... YOU are well equipted to do that ! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Please post a recovery ingredient on my thread. I would appreciate it.

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />