Hi Stacie

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">These ladies are precious gems and I am very glad they are here. They have come out of the situations that gave them the OW stigma and yet, are much wiser than they have ever been and are happy to pass along a little of their wisdom to us.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

I couldn't agree with you more. I had a few question that needed to be answered. My experience
being on other site OW would visit sites and pretend to be BS they become locked into the sites by making friends then create havoc.

I wanted to know Joshmom motives I'm satisfied with what she has said. I wasn't being disrespecful or anything, If JM thought I was I quite ssure she would have addressed the situation not saying that's what you thought I just thought I needed to clear the air before someone else get the impression I was being nasty.

I'm not that kind of person.
I'm not a timid person. It may appear that way because I'm allowing myself to go through things with H and other situations in my personal life.
Yes I would like to talk to you more Stacie if I can. I like your insight also.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Catnip - I didn't take any of MALC's questions to be bad. She's curious, she's in a position where she has the opportunity to ask the "other side" a question, and I'll answer as honestly as I can. I took no offense at any of her questions.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Thank you so much for clearing that up for me . You were right I was very curious of you position.
You answered my question. I appreciate your honestly and pray that others lead by your example

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Almost forgot - to see who's lurking, you click on "Pregnancy/Child" at the top of the boards - where it lists all the topics. And it will say....
In the past 60 minutes, XX people have visited Pregnancy/Child. If you click on any of the topics listed, it will tell you who's actually lurked at that topic. I figured since Catnip hasn't responded, I would try and figure it out myself, and lo and behold, I did. Lots of lurkers for this topic. Wonder why? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Thank you very much.
I did everything above, My name was the only name I saw, couldn't veiw none of the guest names.
Maybe I'm doing something wrong or maybe it only show registered members names.Are you a registerd member?

Lurkers I guess there are so many people going through this dilemma who need advice but are afraid to post. Then you may have some that are OW who want to get the Low down on how to keep there married man you never know.Just me guessing
or OW trying to see if there MM, BS post here and get the low down on there side of story you never know.

<small>[ November 19, 2002, 04:34 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by JOSHMOM:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Almost forgot - to see who's lurking, you click on "Pregnancy/Child" at the top of the boards - where it lists all the topics. And it will say....
In the past 60 minutes, XX people have visited Pregnancy/Child. If you click on any of the topics listed, it will tell you who's actually lurked at that topic. I figured since Catnip hasn't responded, I would try and figure it out myself, and lo and behold, I did. Lots of lurkers for this topic. Wonder why? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Thank you very much.
I did everything above, My name was the only name I saw, couldn't veiw none of the guest names.
Maybe I'm doing something wrong or maybe it only show registered members names.Are you a registerd member?

Lurkers I guess there are so many people going through this dilemma who need advice but are afraid to post. Then you may have some that are OW who want to get the Low down on how to keep there married man you never know.Just me guessing
or OW trying to see if there MM, BS post here and get the low down on there side of story you never know.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Joshmom,
I'm glad you posted and hope you don't mind another question.

You strike me as someone with some manners and integrity... which is to say, you have a conscience, you're willing to admit your mistakes and learn from them, to carry on in a more ethical fashion, etc. and I agree with what you say.

SO, why do you moderate a board for other OW/XOW? Do you NOT find, as we do, that many of them are NOT willing to admit mistakes, not willing to change, not willing to behave with integrity, ethics, morals, or manners?

I admit there are some cases where the recovering XOW is in better psychological condition than the couple as you seem to be, but I wonder, how often is that the case?

How do you deal with XOW who are, like "mine", off the deep end...! Impartial others have called her "pathological" in her dealings with us. yuck.

Just wondering.
Thanks,
J, in recovery 4y and glad <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jenny, I don't mind any questions, really. I moderate a board for OW or xOW with children from MM or xMM. That is the only board I moderate, and pretty much the only board I frequent on a regular basis there. Why? Because they're in a tough situation, and maybe I can help. It's hard to find anyone that is in the same situation, that you can talk to. I used to think that my situation was unique, and I was the only one. Little did I know. I used to post on an AOL board called "I'm the third party" something like that. If I could convince one person not to do what I did, and save them from the heartache, then I did good. If I can help ONE mom deal with what she's going through, then I've done good. That's how I look at it. And how do I deal with it? I listen. I offer advice. I try and help. Some people are beyond reason - but that goes for every aspect of life. You're going to find that every where you go.
And believe me - I do my share of *****ing about xMM. He's a snake, and will not answer the most basic of communications - for example - I sent him an email last week about the health insurance that my son has - a legitimate question, asking for a very easy answer. He never responded. That to me is just ignorant and childish. NC is one thing, being an adult about your responsibilities is another.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jenny:
<strong>Joshmom,
I'm glad you posted and hope you don't mind another question.

You strike me as someone with some manners and integrity... which is to say, you have a conscience, you're willing to admit your mistakes and learn from them, to carry on in a more ethical fashion, etc. and I agree with what you say.

SO, why do you moderate a board for other OW/XOW? Do you NOT find, as we do, that many of them are NOT willing to admit mistakes, not willing to change, not willing to behave with integrity, ethics, morals, or manners?

I admit there are some cases where the recovering XOW is in better psychological condition than the couple as you seem to be, but I wonder, how often is that the case?

How do you deal with XOW who are, like "mine", off the deep end...! Impartial others have called her "pathological" in her dealings with us. yuck.

Just wondering.
Thanks,
J, in recovery 4y and glad <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MALC:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I did everything above, My name was the only name I saw, couldn't veiw none of the guest names.
Maybe I'm doing something wrong or maybe it only show registered members names.Are you a registerd member?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Yes, I'm a registered member - you can't post without being so. Beside the board topic there should be a number, and click on the number, and it will tell you who's read the thread in the past hour.

<small>[ November 19, 2002, 10:11 AM: Message edited by: JoshMom ]</small>

Thanks for the reply.

It's too bad you couldn't get an easy answer re: your child's insurance, but is it possible you could get the same easy answer from the company? I don't mean stick up for XMM, because it's entirely possible that he's the jerk you say he is. It's possible he cannot answer without getting "into it" with his wife... they need to have their act together in order to handle this like adults (policy of joint agreement between spouses doesn't mean blowing off something important; he could let wife answer or see his or whatever). Some people are never grow up.

Anyway, every time I read posts by an XOW like you, I want to give you/them XOW's email and say "talk some sense into her, could ya?!?" It's sad things have to be so strained and ugly, but some people won't change, regardless.

Good luck,
J

[i] Jenny, I tried last year to go through the insurance company directly, and as he is the primary on the policy, they wouldn't give me any information. I called them again, after he didn't answer, and I guess they've changed their policies - anything pertaining to my son's coverage will now be copied and sent to me directly. He told me once that he couldn't find anything to be annoying about, so any little bit that he could find, he'd do. He really is a [censored]. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jenny:
<strong>Thanks for the reply.

It's too bad you couldn't get an easy answer re: your child's insurance, but is it possible you could get the same easy answer from the company? I don't mean stick up for XMM, because it's entirely possible that he's the jerk you say he is. It's possible he cannot answer without getting "into it" with his wife... they need to have their act together in order to handle this like adults (policy of joint agreement between spouses doesn't mean blowing off something important; he could let wife answer or see his or whatever). Some people are never grow up.

Anyway, every time I read posts by an XOW like you, I want to give you/them XOW's email and say "talk some sense into her, could ya?!?" It's sad things have to be so strained and ugly, but some people won't change, regardless.

Good luck,
J</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">