I just couldn't stand to see this thread stop at 99. I had to make it an even 100.
This has been a great thread with alot of good information from both sides.
Thank you all !

jtigger

Thank you for starting such a good thread!

<small>[ March 05, 2003, 02:59 AM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jtigger:
<strong>I just couldn't stand to see this thread stop at 99. I had to make it an even 100.
This has been a great thread with alot of good information from both sides.
Thank you all !

jtigger</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you didn't I was going to!! LOL Wow - a thread with MY name in the title getting past 100 posts, and NO HUGE FIGHTS!!! woohoo!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I agree it's been a good thread - and it shows that we all have different views on the same subject - but we CAN agree to disagree and still have a conversation about it.

<small>[ March 05, 2003, 08:42 AM: Message edited by: JoshMom ]</small>

Awesome! (sp?)

There is so much insight of different situations.

Jtigger, you are now famous! Thank you for starting this thread.

mom of five, It sounds like you are hurt because your children were told the truth. In other words, you feel your children were hurt, and your whole family was hurt finding out the truth, and now OM and his wife are choosing NC, after having contact.

I hope I am understanding this correctly. If not, please let me know.

Perhaps your OM's wife thought she could handle it, but found she could not. All people are not emotionally strong, and she might have taken too much on. I do not believe any woman on this board would intentionally hurt, or cause harm, to any child. Sometimes the human mind finds it can't cope as well as it thought. It sounds as if MM and his wife are at a cross roads. But it's his decision, not hers'. We all have choices.

Not only that, but would you rather continue forced contact for your OC with a father who is married to someone that might possibly not be real emotionally stable at this time? Or give a good example of marriage or attitude toward the spouse?

Maybe everyone knows now, and real communication can start with truth.

At least you portray someone who has a spouse for support. Perhaps your exOM feels he must support his wife at this time. Everyone is not equivilent in perception of someones elses pain.

I guess I like the idea of choices and truth.

Through my insistance, one (of 2), OC's came to visit H and I. H is truly the one who wishes NC.
We have had no contact since 1996.

I am sorry you are hurting mof. Somehow I feel our mistakes come back to haunt us.

Please realize that your ex MMs wife may not be able to handle it at this time.

A year ago one of OC's called my H and he hung up on them. I was totally shocked. The next day, H and I discussed why he did what he did. This helped me understand better. My H gave me very good reasons that I can't dispute.

I don't think your MMs wife can handle it right now. At least give her credit for trying.

Sorry this is so long. I really didn't mean to get carried away. There goes my willpower again.

I met my H's ex OW and 2 OC's in person for a week-end. One OC met all of immediate family, half brothers and sisters.

I guess I am in a rambling mood.

M

meant to sign ember. hit m by accident.

no wrong again,
I of course was hurt ot tell my children but we came through just fine, om's wife has been a source of problems, because she is frankly a little off her rocker.
nc
No every one still has contact, I am hurt that she made a decision to be in this when she didnt have to and then acts immature , because you see dear ember, that effects my children and hurts them.
but I hate to burst your bubble, mm still loves our baby, and still sees her, we just had to rearrange what they could and couldnt do and I am thrilled to say, we arranged it where all are happy , and yes he still sees her and will till the day he dies, the only way he wouldnt is if I asked him not to, and i have not done that, although considered it very much.
but that is selfish on me, I can deal with it if he can.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

gosh ember I see all that concern,
I think you read to much into things,
things are basically the same, although his wife isnt getting to change things on a whim any more, so life has just become better for me.
forced contact... that is truly funny, I am not making him or any one else see that baby, he chooses to do so on his own.
how soon we forget I have never forced him to have contact, that is up to him. I did suggest he not have contact, and he told me he would if I asked him to but he would like me to reconsider and he would work with me and my husband better, and to please not take her away, so we worked it out.
I would say everything is about the same, with the exception that we have a better arrangement with om, actually he told me he was happier and so glad I didnt ask him to walk away. because he didnt want to. because I at one time had decided I would rather have them out because of his wifes instability.
so we worked it out like mature people are supposed to and I am sure we are all happy about it, although his wife wasnt there when we worked it out, he says she is happy with it as well, so I guess thats his problem. basically I said what my wishes were and things we were concerned about and then husband said what he thought to om, and then they sat down and worked out an agreement.
This way husband is happy[which makes me happy] om is happy so neither one can grip at me or complain to me, because you see they both said I want this and I can live with that.

now no one has a reason to gripe. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />