To Mom of Five: Tell your H too bad he is not the OW because, she is the one fighing us on this thing making it where H can not have contact with child. You see she does not run the show she does not dictate that he can only see child with her around only. That is a bunch of crap she was trying to use to lure him in. I know that and he knows that. In this case it is either the legal way with joint custody including me or no way at all. I am not wrong for this reasoning it is a safeguard from the psychotic OW.

I didnt mean any thing by that comment except when she has her baby[which is wonderful] she will have a whole different set of feelings and emotions.
and since you are a mother now, you would understand why, I think someone who says oc should be treated as the inconvience that they are, and that they are semen samples[ I believe she referred them as] This would offend me. and should any mother. and yes this person would worry me around any child. But you told me that was a simplistic view I believe, well it may be , but I still say any one who refers to a child as an inconvience and states they should be treated as such, calls them vulgar names, should not be around a child in pain or not a very good reason for no contact.

do you consider lil bit a semen sample and an inconvience, You dont seem to, but if someone did think this of her, it should offend you.

so I am thrilled your having a baby, and wish you and yours the best, but I pray as a mother you dont think it is ok for any one to call her/him a semen sample and make ugly remarks , if there in pain or not.

butterfly I agree
if you can not reason with this woman and you want rights by all means, go to court and get them.
my husband and I have always dreaded but agreed om should have rights if he wants them, so when he came forward over a year later we let him,
his wife doesnt have rights, but I do let her take the child places and after all he is her husband if she is in his life, she is in her life, so it isnt that big of a deal as long as she can handle it.
I am not saying you shouldnt be involved with this child, if you want and can love the child, by all means, be a part of her life and offer all you have.
I was just suprised at your statement. thats all

I dont think any marriage works if one person holds all the power, it has to be agreed apon or as equal as can be.

I figured I'd go back to be certain before I replyed. Stacia has never had a bad thing to say about the OC in ANY situation! And, she never refered to the OC as a "semen sample". Yes, me being a mother would be offended if someone referred to any of my children as such, but I more than willingly refer to the xOM as a "sperm donor"!

In fact, she is more of Lil Bit's Mommy than the xOW is! How can I say that, well she shows more love for this child than her own birth mother! In fact, I know of many times where xOW has treated her own child, Lil Bit, as in inconvenience! Dropping her at Stacia and Mr. "Lee's" when she didn't want her around for one reason or another. And, I'm not talking about a funeral either! What I'm getting at here is that she has REAL motherly feelings for Lil Bit that won't change when she has her baby later this year! I still say that your statement was uncalled for.

go back and read again
I never said stacia said that.
tyme said it on first page , which is why I responded, and stacia told me I was being simplistic, because I said those types of statements scare me and they do as a mother hearing statements about innocent children be so mean and hateful scare me. These are human beings, children, babies and as a mother, It makes me sick to see people write such things.

well thats where you and I are different, I dont think it appropriate to refer to om as a sperm donor either. after all he is her father he deserves more respect than that.

ok I apologise to stacia, but I wont apologise for thinking that tymes viewpoint about this situation, in pain or not is apprpriate. doesnt matter if she is new or not. these statements are ugly. and whether stacia loves lil bit or not, when she has a baby of her own, she will find statements about children sad and disgusting I hope, since she doesnt appear to now.

and she would sound alot more gracious about lil bit, if she didnt make every post, a I got more time post, lil bit, doesnt ask for ow, comments and such. I also know there are many bad parents in the world, and have seen kids be dumped by thier parents many times, and if lil bits mother is truly like this, she probably doesnt need to be a parent. But she is her mother, and lil bit does love her, children love unconditional. instead of a contest seems more appropriate to hope she would learn from there love and be a better parent, she may never learn who knows, But I still dont believe every single one of these ow are bad parents and do all these things,

My comment is not meant as a bad one and I would not have made it if she werent expecting a child at the moment. I DIDNT SAY SHE WOULD LOVE Lil BIT LESS when she has her own, but she will understand a few more things than she does now.

such as why a woman making a statement about taking a womans child as revenge is offensive.

such as why it offends and it is scary to here people speak of a child BABY in a way they would speak of the garbage. I can have sypathy for someone stacia, but I find sympathy hard to come by when someone is so hateful towards children.

If you werent able and not having a baby I wouldnt have made the statement, it is not meant as an insult. just a point of view.
and tigger4 your point is taken, but it doesnt change my opinion. But like me your entittled to your opinion.

Not much of an apology, Mo5... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Thanks, but no thanks.

Whether I am expecting a child or not, your comments were uncalled for and down right venomous.

And you know it.

Good day to you.

Stacia Honey,

Thats because she was an ow and still has the mindset of one. Even though she was a bs, she was also an ow and bore a child from that and therefore will always think like an ow. I am sure if her dh had fathered a child from one of his affairs, she would see things in a different light. Until then, she will never see any other POV. She is just constantly on the defense.

By the way, how are you feeling?

***but she will understand a few more things than she does now.***

MO5,
That is with out a doubt the cruelist thing I have ever seen you post.
Unlike you, there are several of us on this board that are raising children that are biologically not our own. My H and I have had custody of my "step" child since she was 2 years old. She is now 22 and I couldn't pick between her and "my" child if I had to. I love them both EQUALLY. I was adopted at birth, I bet if you ask my parents they will tell you they love me and my siblings equally. Are you saying that is not so because I am not their biological child ? You see MO5, some of us are not so shallow that we are capable of dolling out our love to children based on biology. It kills me that you rant and rave about loving children and then turn around and make a comment like that. Just goes to show... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

it wasnt meant as an insult,
however it amazes me you people are so cold hearted about children that you dont care what there called in the name of pain.

I am sorry your offended, but it is still my opinion and you can do what I do dismiss it and move on, after all we are all of different opinions and lives. Just becuase I take offense to comments, doesnt change the fact that they will continue to be fed here.
just as my opinions mean nothing more than that. My opinion.

actually I have a adopted child who is not mine own, I love her as much as I do my other children, but I also feel when a woman who has fought so hard to give birth to a child of her own, and has gone thought 9 months of pregnancy, and give birth, she would easily find it offensive to hear people called semen samples and to hear someone say they should take a child as revenge from a mother who may love her child dearly.
I never said she wouldnt love lil bit less, I said she would have a different understanding of a few things and I still believe that.

as I said before, it is merely my opinion and nothing more, your welcome to disagree and leave it for what it is, my opinion.

good grief get a grip people I never stated that and if you dont understand what I meant, I am sorry I explained it wrong I guess, but it is merely an opinion, and I never said any thing about loving someone more because of biology.
I just said that maybe she would take offense if and when she has her own,
BECAUSE IT OBVIOUSLY DOESNT OFFEND ANY OF YOU TO HEAR A BS MAKE UGLY REMARKS ABOUT A CHILD.
I am done and like my opinion or not, I take offense to people who think it is ok to speak of children as insignificant others.

I am done I will tell you what, I will go back to retirement. and keep my opinions to my self, Life was so muc easier when I wasnt around here.

so you may bad mouth children all you want,
good night

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Butterflie:
<strong>
However, since I have been home I have a lot of time to do some serious thinking and my mind and heart is telling me that if I wanted to I could we could get custody of that child. A couple of people told me to fight for full custody but, I was never thinking that way. However, I could make her life miserable like she has done mine. I could have her child and my husband. We are more financially stable H is detective, in reserves works part time, I have good job just got promotion while being at home on medical leave, I am a part time student, we are buying a home and have 3 cars. She on the other hand is psychotic, rents low income apartment and could not win against us in court.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Tyme:
<strong>
Butterflie, do whatever makes YOU feel better whether it's for the moment for the day or for your lifetime. It's YOUR life, YOUR marriage, YOUR H that matter...the OW and her kid (semen sample)are no more than an inconvienence in your life, treat them as such.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think these are the comments that MO5 were originally replying to. When reading this thread, i didn't see what MO5 had posted as a direct insult toward Stacia. Sorry, I may be wrong, but that's just not the "tone" I read that reply with. HOWEVER, when I read Tyme's post it was UNMISTAKABLE what was intended in that post. Come on now, "semen sample"??? The OW AND HER KID (semen sample) are NO MORE than an inconvenience in your life, treat THEM as such.It seems like everyone just glossed over that statement like it was ok! I'm sorry but it is NOT just "OW" mentality that takes thinking that statement is cruel and UNCALLED FOR. I am not an OW but I agree with MO5, that statement there was MEANT to be hurtful. And to be honest, when I read Butterflie's first post that is quoted above, it did seem like the only reason she wanted to fight for full custody of the OC was revenge for the OW. No where in that post does it say the OC is beaten, malnourished, improperly clothed, abandoned, psychologically traumatized or anything. It just states what Butterflie and her H have that the OW does not. I'm just saying, I for one, can see where MO5 was coming from.

nc4u,

The insult/attack on Stacia was highlighted in my first post on this thread. It was stated that since she has no children, she couldn't understand what it felt like to mo5 in regards to the "semen sample" statement! As Stacia and Mr. "Lee" have been trying to conceive for years, with many miscarriages! They have finally succeeded, and are very excited about it, but on the other hand, for the past, almost 2 yrs, Stacia HAS been Mommy to Lil Bit, and completely understand those motherly feelings! That is where the insult was, and why it sparked what it did, at least in myself. I had been staying off this thread till then, as I have no feelings either way in this situation. Unfortunately, I don't know enough, personally about Butterflie's situation, other than there is an OC and a lot of tension in that regards! But, I can't let a comment, no matter how innocent, hurt a person the way I know it did Stacia! Those who've been on this board for a while know the trials and disapointments that Stacia and Mr. "Lee" have been through, and a statement like mo5 made was very hurtful!

To avoid petty confrontations by all I hope Mom of Five stays off the site because, she does not read clearly, respond correctly, nor is welcome to comment. She is being ignorant with everyone whom responds. To all do not use my site to do name calling with her. She is not worth it. I know what I said and if everyone understood me and she is the only one took it to another level what does that say about her. Thank you to everyone else who responded forget her she needs to get another hobby.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by butterflie:
<strong>To avoid petty confrontations by all I hope Mom of Five stays off the site because, she does not read clearly, respond correctly, nor is welcome to comment. She is being ignorant with everyone whom responds. To all do not use my site to do name calling with her. She is not worth it. I know what I said and if everyone understood me and she is the only one took it to another level what does that say about her. Thank you to everyone else who responded forget her she needs to get another hobby.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't agree. I find tyme's post petty and ignorant. She sure does have alot to learn. ALOT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I believe there are alot of pychos' out there, bs, ws, ow, no one is exempt.
Her post set the trend to this thread, not any of Mo5's. However since M05 has opinions that the majority don't agree with, she is attacked for her's while hollow posts such as tymes give people a pipe dream to cling to.
The ignorance in tyme's post would have set me to respond sooner, if this were a year ago. Now, I can only chuckle at the blinders she is wearing.
Not worth a reply from someone who knows why WS have affairs and why many of them are not sexual or do become sexual, after a long waiting period. Anyway, Mom of five don't you dare leave this board <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

cm

<small>[ March 18, 2003, 12:11 PM: Message edited by: CMiranda ]</small>

your right cm
just a passing thought, we all have those days <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

my goodness...what a stir
as to my opinions and statements: If I offended any OW's with OC's to bad because in my opinion women that have sex with MM and get themselves pregnant do not deserve my respect or consideration. And when they force a child on a man that does not want the child, does not consider the child as his, has absolutely no desire to be a part of the child's life physically, emotionally or financially than that child is no more than a semen deposit to him, like it or not.
IF however, the father wants the child in his life with or without his BS than he has every right to that decision. If the BS chooses to welcome the OC into her life and marriage than of course she has every right to expect that she be given an equal opportunity to parent that child, especially if she's stuck sharing the financial responsibility for it.
Wouldn't life be peachy if OW's could have it all.

I thought MB was a place where BS could share, vent, cry, scream, and try to heal. Not a place where BS has to tippy-toe around so as not to offend OW.

I read here occasionally, but it's not my place as (thankfully) there is no OC in my situation. But my gosh, Mom of 5, you are a piece of work. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Having five kids does not give one a badge of superiority, and having five kids does not mean that one cares more for children than someone who is "only" a stepmom (which I will be). (I wonder where your kids were, when you were having your A.)