</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by heavenlybody26:
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The OW told me not to think that I was going to "steal" her child because my children died. This sentence was uttered with such malice that I felt like I had been slapped in the face with a brick.

JM: What a horrible thing to say. People that are that malicious shouldn't have kids. That will affect OC eventually. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Although it would be wonderful if your son's father would have wanted a relationship, it is better that he show his true colors than have your son wishing and wanting while he continually breaks his heart.

JM: Which is why I am OK with NC. I would rather meet someone that can be a full time Dad to Josh, than have someone in and out of his life that isn't a *nice* person, and only thinks of himself.

May we all find peace of mind and heart one of these days ...

JM: Amen to that.

Heavenly - I remember your story well. I was so happy for you when you found out you were pg, and I cried when you lost your precious babies. I'm glad to see you posting again, you haven't been around for a while. You and the way you handle things, well, you are just the epitome of a classy lady. I wish you the best..

love,
heavenly</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Josh's Mom:
Wow your story is simular to mine. I've known xmm for 14 years. We had been good friends always. He (in the affair) came at a time when we both were insecure and lonely. It was a little over a year. In fact I had just told xmm that the negitive was outweighting the postive and soon there would be changes. the next week I found out I was pregnant. One moment he was in love with me and soon as I told him I was pregnant he hated my guts. He has been begging me to abort too. He told me did I know what I was doing to everybody lives? He did not care what it was doing to my life. Or what having a abortion would do to me. He knew what I went through to have my kids and all the miscarriages I've had in the past. He still felt I traped him. I think God did this too to wake me up and make me realize what I was doing with my life. I do feel this baby is blessing though. A miracle so to speak with all my problems. I know many would disagree with me here. xmm still has not told his w about this. She handles everything money and all so I'm not sure how he's going to handle the child support. I'll cross that bridge went I get to it. OH well.
Crazymum, that is a wild story. Sounds like you both have had a rocky few years. It's too bad that your h won't be involved in the child's life but at least you make an effort for this child to be apart of something. Also, her other kids too. You must really understand all sides of this thing uh?

Dear Needtomoveon,

I didn't mean to make you cry!

I know exactly how you feel having a child after a long bout of infertility. And at 41! Just be very careful and concentrate on being happy for the sake of that little angel growing inside of you.

I know exactly how you feel about passing the first trimester. When I had my first miscarriage, the worst thing was everyone knowing. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I told everyone I knew. The next time, I was careful not to tell anyone until after the first trimester and even then, I only told those who were close to me.

If you need some moral support along the way, shout for me anytime. I check in every other day or so. I don't have a lot of time to post, but I usually reply within a few days. You will be fine, just focus on the miracle that you are experiencing. Sending prayers your way ...

love,
heavenly

Dear Joshmom,

I remember your being around at the time I lost the twins. At that point, I had been posting on MB regularly and if it wasn't for the wonderful family that I established here, I am not sure I would have gotten through that awful time in my life.

I even faltered in my faith because I could not understand why God would allow us so little time with them. I am a bit emotional these days because the second anniversary of their passing will be at the end of this week.

But I took my lemons and made lemonade. I will never know the reasons why such a terrible thing happened to me, but I do know that it made both my H and I see clearly and see what was important in life. So, maybe that was the reason.

From your postings, you seem to have adjusted well to raising Josh on your own. Your posts are self-assured and confident -- your son will greatly benefit from that outlook.

Wayward MM hurt us all -- the wives, the OWs, the children. It is very tempting to dwell on the hurt and behave like a victim. In the beginning, I played the victimized wife soooo well. But, I think no matter which side of the situation you are on, there comes a time when you have to realize your are hurting yourself more than the attention of being a victim is worth.

That was the point when I started to, not only pick myself up, but make major changes in my emotional life to match the major changes that had occurred in my physical life.

I went back into restoring my marriage with eyes wide open -- not eyes wide shut. I knew that my H's daughter was now a part of the equation, and by extension, the ex-OW. They did not have to take over my life, but yes, they had a role. And, it was a long hard road trying to discover what that role was and how to fit it into our marriage.

We thought we had found the right mix. That is why it was so frustrating that the ex-OW would not open her mind to the possibilities.

Right now I am writing letters to the OC, and, if we don't get to see her by Christmas, I will put a gift away for her. One day perhaps she will find us again when she is old enough to interact on her own. And, I want to be able to show her that we were thinking about her and caring about her from a distance.

Keep loving Josh -- he's a lucky young man to have a mom like you.

love,
heavenly

Heavenly, I'm so glad that you've found a peace of sorts, and I'll be thinking of you later in the week. I hope someday xOW can put aside her bitterness and grow up enough to see that you mean nothing but good to this child, and you get to be a part of her life. And thanks, Josh IS a great kid. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I had a great Mom that taught me to be strong and make the best of a situation, no matter how bleak it may seem. If nothing else in this world, Josh brought her joy for 2 years and that alone was worth all the heartache of everything else.