</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> It completely melts my heart when Sailorman either comes down the stairs in the morning, or in the door after he's been at work, and Abbi runs to him, yelling, "Daddy!!!! Daddy!!!! Daddy!!!!"
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Mine's melting just invisioning it. I look forward to that day!! Do boys respond to their Daddy that way too?

Oh, and yes you make sense Tig, you always make sense to me! (keep in mind I'm a little warped though <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) j/k.

TMCM~

Ironic yes, but usually that's the way it goes. We get love when we give love. Hey, you forgot to add your, "Love knows no DNA"!

JL~

As always...excellent post.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AD your H may feel the same way. It seems he has always view your child as a gift. That is a wonderful way to look at something that can just rip your heart out.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It doesn't hurt that he loves children. Children must sense this because they tend to gravitate to him. Family and friends call him the Pied Piper (but a good and honest one)as he always has kids following him around. Probably because he likes having "kid" kind of fun, laughs a lot, and is lighthearted.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Sure is a complex simple topic isn't it? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeppers!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> it WOULD have been great to put ones spouse first always, but as long as you and your H and my H and me do it now, what else could go too terribly wrong? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">From your keystrokes to God's ears, gem!!

Take good care.
~autumnday

ps. Anyone else enjoying a wonderful Indian Summer? Best days of Autumn in my estimation!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Hey, you forgot to add your, "Love knows no DNA"!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As Homer Simpson would say DOH! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

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I know K, and, I think Pops, have voiced the opinion that since they had previous children with their W, that the OC was easier to accept and adjust to.

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i don't know if i have actually said this before,
but this is very true. the first couple of weeks when grace came home i now realize i was trying to stay angry, hurt and punish fh (for lack of a better discription) for bringing this into my life. needless to say it was a very difficult time for me. and using the old hindsight was very childish on my part and i wish i could go back and change some things so that fh had some better memories of graces first entry to our lives. it was also a time to take a good look inside myself to see who was looking back.

during that time the one thing i did see is my c's (particularly the young ones) pouring love on this sweet, little baby. spatting with each other over whose turn it was to hold her. they weren't looking at the sins of her parents just the innocence of the c. watching my kids i began to feel small and petty about my own self centeredness.

my heart just openned up to her. i realized that i was actually forcing myself to hold onto the pain by blaming grace. then one morning she was crying while fh was in the shower and i simply picked her up to comfort her. the rest is now history.

the point is that i have always loved kids. i can remember at the age of 15/16 i wanted to have 5 of my own. (by the way be careful what you wish for you may get it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ) it was my kids accepting this stranger into their lives as their equal, without any questions that enabled me to find something inside myself.

<small>[ October 09, 2003, 02:19 AM: Message edited by: pops ]</small>

Awww Pops, now I am the one who has gone all misty.

You are right, so much of your anger is gone. Did some of the hurt go away with it?

I still love my Dad's line. "I was there for all the important moments in your life. The only one I missed was the least important--your conception." Man, I don't know how someone gets such a big heart--yes, I guess I do, God gave it to him. My step-mother says I inherited it from him. If so, it is the best gift a parent can give a child.

MJ

mj,,,, i feel like i should be posting this on your thread of a couple days back and these are some of the reasons i felt compelled to sign onto the private site. i wanted to talk about some of the things that were bothering me and not have fh reading right away until i figured things out a little. she read what i wrote on your thread and we had a discussion about it last night. she ended teary eyed. that is the last thing i wanted. she did tell me that she wanted me to be up front about this stuff as she is worring about my health alot.

to answer your question, yes much of the anger is gone. i don't have that pent up anger for om as i once did. in fact i sort of feel sorry for him. i do get ticked when om acts like i should stay out of his business like this is his family with fh and grace. but now i just speak up and explain
the realities to him.

as far as the hurt is concerned, much of that is gone also. there are still reminders and triggers. my oldest d moved around the corner from the motel that fh and om visited. needless to say this is a trigger. not nearly as bad as it once was though.

for me i am just not the same person i was prior to d-day. i don't think it is all about fh's A but more in line with i don't feel she is meeting my en's. we have discussed it often and i don't discuss it much any more. i feel that it makes no sense to keep beating a dead horse. she knows what i have asked for and it is up to her do decide whether she can meet those needs or not. so although we are doing much better we both feel like we are in a sort of limbo.

i better stop now as i could get long winded and
i don't want to get this thread off it's topic so if further discussion on this last point continues i will move it to another thread.

good day to all, pops

pops I'll bet one of the EN's is when om calls and the conversation drifts......

I could not deal with that rationally.

Come aboard the private board to discuss things...but allow FullHouse access too then it won't be for everyones eyes and she can view the answers, ok?

As MJ said you do bring tears to my eyes too with your compassion for everything.

I do bet that freakin motel sends you flying somedays.

now there's a question I'll ask my H, our favorite restaurant is in front of a Super8, you guessed it it's THE SUPER 8!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

We've had many family birthday celebrations at the fancy place and evey time I'm saddened if only for a moment to see that place!
My mind drifts to what they said and did there... H knows but....

love
Debi