Robel & Painter,

I was just wondering how you are doing! How has the job situation gone? Give me an update!

Tigger

I can't sleep tonite! Been reading stuff here since 3.

robel doesn’t visit MB much, she got tired of reading all the depressing stories. Any time she gets near her computer, she job hunts.

She has an interview Wed with a different company. She always interviews well. She also has had some good leads in other areas of her current employer.

We are still PG. I think we’re at 11 weeks…

I still haven’t “met” OM. I think about it less all the time, but it’s still on my to-do list.

It’s been fun to be with robel again. We aren’t really reacquainting, just learning how to meet each others needs on a different level.

3 of 4 boys are back to school so she gets some time to herself in the afternoons (when 4 is down for his nap). It won’t last long though, her classes will start soon.

I should try to doze for an hour or so, I do have to work today…

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It’s been fun to be with robel again. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Painter~

IMO, this is so key. Enjoy one another.

Spend as much of your free-time with one another. It serves so many purposes...

Provides the time and the "know how" of meeting ENs.

Time is accounted for, honesty more easily established, thus, the trust begins to build.

When you are apart, you have something to look forward to.

Relaxed, easier environment in which to POJA when needed.

Love bank gets back in the black.

So on and so forth...

Can you tell I love the 15 hr.+ concept, A LOT?

I believe the other concepts come more naturally, when you two are spending more time together, one on one. Just makes sense!

My best to you and Robel,

~ad

Painter,

I know that I've said this many times, but if Robel needs someone to talk to, and she doesn't feel comfortable here, PLEASE, have her email me! I am VERY willing to help in any way that I can, and will answer any and all questions she may have for me! I can still remember when I was new to the board, and still P, how alone I felt, since the majority of the posters here were either the BW or the BH. I reached out to any who even remotely seemed to be in my shoes! So, let her know that I do understand where she is coming from, and that if she needs someone to chat with, or even just a cyber shoulder to cry on, I'm here for her if she wants.

As for you two learning to meet each others needs, that's awesome! Keep working together, and make every second you spend together count! Tell her I wish her good luck with the job hunt/change.

Tigger

**edited to correct spelling**

<small>[ August 17, 2004, 09:53 AM: Message edited by: tigger4jdt ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I can still remember when I was new to the board, and still P, how alone I felt, since the majority of the posters here were either the BW or the BH. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ain't that the truth. Sometimes, I still feel alone...

But overall, this is a good place to be. I wouldn't want to be on a board with only FWS nor solely FBS. I think we can learn from each other.

Painter--Tig can help Robel a lot. She was a great friend to have whilst going through the storm. Heck, she's a good friend to have on a sunny day too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks All for your concern.

I'm doing ok. I feel really good about Painter and my relationship. We seem to be doing really well. I'm trying to be a good Mom and just all around a good person. I feel that God has taught me much through this already and feel happy to know that Painter is starting to feel better too. He seems happy most of the time. I'm sure he still hurts though.

I "spot" of and on so I'm not sure if this pregnancy will work out. To be honest my worst fear is that it will. I spend huge portions of every day praying that this baby is Painter's.

I have nightmares that it comes out and it is jet black. The Om is not that dark, but I am really scared about this baby's appearance. I wish I could stop obesessing about it, but I can't. I am so scared that for the rest of my life I will be answering questions about why does this one not look like his/her brothers.

I honestly think that I have mostly forgiven myself for the A and know that I will never let myself get in that situation again, but what do I do with the residual crap. There's nothing I can do is the answer. I am a fix-it kind of person and it kills me that I can't fix this. I broke it and I can't fix it.

I saw the picture of your family Tig and your D looks just like her siblings. I would never look at her and wonder if Sailorman was her father, it would be a given. I don't know about yours Autumn, but from your posting it sounds like he fits right in too.

I have 4 fair-skinned boys and am terrified that this one will have dark skin like the OM. He's not that dark, but dark enough that I'm scared. I know this shouldn't be the most important issue, but it does seem to be for me. If it's not biologically Painter's I think it will be obvious from day one to everyone and I really didn't want to make a public announcement of my sin to the free world. I feel like I might need to put a billboard up on the boulevard to announce it so I don't have to answer questions.

Anyway this is the storyline that plays in my head most every day.

Job hunting is going ok, but with my school schedule and kids, I am limited to only working Fridays and Saturdays and am unsure of the odds of finding a job that will allow this. I may just quit and try to limp along financially until I graduate in a year and a half. Painter is ok with that, but afraid of no insurance right now. I can cobra it, but it's spendy and with a baby on the way we can't have no insurance. That would be insane.

Amazing that one sin can completely screw up everything, for now and possibly for all of this lifetime. AUtumn mentioned this when you said that you felt you had to pay for your mistake forever. I know how you feel. It's a frustrating feeling because you can't take it back. It's too late. Sometimes sorry just isn't gonna fix it, is it?

Robel,

I'm glad that you are doing well. I can understand how you are feeling at this point! My best recomendation is to take care of yourself, and work on your M and keep being a good mom to the boys! At this moment, that's all you can do anyway, right?

I wish that I had some advice for you job situation, but you know what's best, and I know you will figure something out.

Thank you for what you said about Abbi and her Bro and Sis. In fact, I look at pictures of our 12 yr old when she was Abbi's age, and the only difference I can see is the hair color! Pretty amazing! As for your fears, there are a couple on here(pops for sure, and I think maybe K too) where the OC is a different tone of skin. Maybe they can help you with those fears.

Please, keep us updated when you can! Know that I do think of you guys often, and at the risk of over stating it, I am here for you whenever you need me!

Tigger