|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,247
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,247 |
Hi Pep,
I have posted a letter. Chris was helping me. I got to refine my letter but I got it close. He made some changes that are just not accurate for my situation since I have OC involved and husband is denying affair. I think he is still in emotional affair but he would not admit that. I also think he was in physical affair for longer than he would admit. So I wanted to state that the reason for the Plan B was because he was still in contact with OW by phone behind my back. Rather state that Plan B is because he is in an affair. I think to accuse him of being in an affair without adequate proof could be a love bust in the plan B letter. I do have proof that he calls OW behind my back. This proof, I have confronted him on once a month for the last three months and he refuses to stop calling her behind my back.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
Sorry if I seem confused, but I am. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Why does he need to see the baby if he denies the affair and he denies the child is his?
I have posted a letter. Chris was helping me. I got to refine my letter but I got it close. He made some changes that are just not accurate for my situation since there is OC involved See your other post. You need to expand the bit about that you love him and want to remain married & what you have learned. The Plan B letter should not just be about how much the affair hurts you and he should leave.
He admits a physical affair but not an emotional affair? Or does he deny both? Where did the OC come from?
So I wanted to state that the reason for the Plan B was because he was still in contact with OW by phone behind my back. Rather state that Plan B is because he is in an affair. If he had an affair and he continues to have contact, he is continuing to have an affair.
I think to accuse him of being in an affair without adequate proof could be a love bust in the plan B letter. Huh? Plan B alone is a lovebuster.
I do have proof that he calls OW behind my back. Then you have the proof you need to give him the Plan B letter. <small>[ August 30, 2004, 05:05 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,247
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,247 |
Hi Chris,
Sorry for the confusion. I gotta go, getting off work. But I will tell you I appreciate your help. I will explain better later. I guess I am confused. Husband admitted affair. He denys that he is still in affair. I guess I am in denial too.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Chris is "the expert" I was thinking about!
*poof* like magic he appears out of nowhere.... amazing Chris, really amazing!!!
Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <small>[ August 30, 2004, 05:31 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,247
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,247 |
Chris,
For the background. I was told about husband's affair by my ex-husband. He only admited the affair because he was caught. I confronted OW because husband told me it only happened once. My ex-husband said he did not buy that. So I decided to confront the OW to get the truth. OW told me that they had sex daily. She told me she might be pregnant. I told husband what OW said. He was angry but admitted finally that he had sex with her on multiple occasions but said she was lying about every day. He told me then that the affair was over. However, over the next couple months he withdrew from me. SF went from three times a week to once a week. I had to beg for it then. I received no affection. He was always leaving and we would get in arguments because I was afraid he might be with her. Two months after discovery she called the house. After several hangups she got the courage to speak to me. She told me that the affair was still on and had never stopped. Husband was home and I told him she was on the phone. He got on the second phone. She told me that she was telling me this stuff to get my husband back for standing her up. Apparently they were suppose to have a date and he came home to me. Husband stated that OW was lying about him still in affair because she wanted him and was trying to break us up. A month later he told me he was going to his mothers. Instead he took her home three hours away. I called his Mom and when I found out he wasn't there, I called my husband. He confessed. He had spent the night. Claimed he slept on OW's parents floor. I don't beleive that. He said he lyed because he thought I would not approve of him taking her home. He said he was trying to get her away from him because she would not leave him alone. Two months ago he went to OW's town because he thought she might be doing drugs. He told me he wanted to get her committed. When we discussed it, the agreement was that he leave in the morning. He left the night before and spent the night against my wishes. He claims he slept alone. Yes I got tested and I am OK. Other than that, he has been calling her behind my back ever since he took her home. So she won't leave him alone but he initiates the calls. I asked him to call her in my presence one night. He said what should I say. I said, talk to her like you always talk to her. Evidently he was uncomfortable to talk to her in front of me when he initiates the call which shows he is hiding stuff. He claims he calls OW to check on pregnancy and make sure his baby is gonna be OK. OC by OW is due September 15th and he has told her he would come when she has the baby. My dealbreaker is he does not stay overnight away from me again without my permission. <small>[ August 31, 2004, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: Genia ]</small>
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
OC by OW is due September 15th and he has told her he would come when she has the baby. My dealbreaker is he does not stay overnight away from me again without my permission What do you mean by "dealbreaker"? Does he know what you mean by "dealbreaker"? Are you ready to live up it? If not, you will lose so much credibility that he will not believe anything you say.
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,247
Member
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 1,247 |
Hi Chris,
It hurt me so bad the last time he spent the night away from me in OW's town. I walked around for two months scared I might have HIV. I got tested. I am OK. Nurse told me tests can work that fast now. They test for the actual protein now and you can find out six weeks from exposure. I have already told him that I cannot have him spending any more nights away from me unless I feel comfortable with it. Anyhow I feel if he does this when I am not comfortable then it is a dealbreaker to me. I have not told him I would leave him over it. I am ready to back this up with my Plan B letter and to kick him out of my house. I cannot go on anymore in fear of him sleeping with OW.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
331
guests, and
91
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,525
Members72,046
|
Most Online6,102 Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|