Hi JT,

Most of them are posting on MSN now I think. I think the board wars hurt some people. I know I like peace. I just joined but I will post with caution from now on. JT I read your post. I feel for you but I will make no comments as I do not feel qualified yet. I wish you the best however with whatever decision you make.

What is the MSN board - I prefer the togetherness without all the bickering as well. We all need to get along or learn and bebfit from one another so we are not doomed to repeat the same mistakes.

I WANT IN - I HOPE I AM STILL IN!!

J2- YOU are doing fine. You are questioning every move, every motive and you are in your own place. What you are going thru now is a VERY normal stage. And believe me you are my idol with the babies- I will say it 100 times!

When I was just where you were, I ONLY ONLY took the chance again on H cause his ACTIONS were this- he was WITH ME EVERY DAY I let him be..he was finally BACKING up the words.. and he also had NC w/OC. I FELT his change- I KNEW he was suffering w/o me and not just blowing smoke. It FEELS different- we know what's up..... don't we usually ?????

I don't know what happened around here either- but I'd hate it if eveyone bailed cause of a few bad apples or something???

Keep posting J2- here or wherever- It DOES help- its strange- you wouldn't have imagined that a "message board" could show you so much.

Hey Albany! Hows the RED ROOM?! Yes it was me who is the advocate of decorating your soul with COLOR! LOL!

How about you, J2- next time the kids are away, I say get a project going!! A bright one! I have a wall in deep purple, burnt, forrest green, scarlet and blue. Sounds hideous, but it is the envy of all of my guests!!

Are all those colors in one room?

JT & Gio-- check your yahoo mail and I think you will find an invite to the new site on MSN.

hey,

yeah I went on lunch to the library and checked my email and signed up for the new site. i have got to check on my home computer and see why I can not log on to the internet.

My troubleshooting has not worked so I will hav eto call Microsoft so bare with me.

JT

Thanks G123,

I really needed that I am just at a lost for words and feelings right now. Thank you also for the support I don't know what I'd do without you (a success story) to listen to. You know just how I am feeling and I have gotten that from the very beginning when I read your posts.

It is very easy for me to deal with the babies alone on a daily basis because I have always done it - since their births. I guess that's what is so hard thinking that he could be over there doing for OC what he did not even do for our children - but I know him and he probably isn't contributing very much with that either. I mean the physical labor of having children.

He has another visit tonight with the kids, I am intentionally going to be late to see if he has anything else he wants to tell me. The children are great they really still don't know the fact that daddy is not at home with them because they would be asleep anyway when he was home. It just hurts that it has to be this way. will he ever really do anythign that he needs to do for us?

Do you really think that he could mean that he loves us more than anything in the world? I am still trying to fix it I can't I must trust in GOD that he knows what is best for me. I can not go another year in this hell!!!


JT

ALBANY- oo not the same room but who knows- it COULD work.. LOL! Only 2 or 3 rooms are seen together- so those 3 colors are complimenting, KWIM!! They are CHEERY shades! As SOON as you go nuts and paint a wall orange, you then feel the next room is NAKED!! AND DEN...... next thing you know you are like me! ha!!

J2- show those receipts baby and then you can come home- tell him THAT!! I did that to H- I said "AS SOON AS YOU LET ME HAVE YOUR PHONE AND SEE WHO'S CALLED, OR ANSWER IT FOR YOU--- THEN WE CAN HAVE SOME OF "that" mmmkay! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> And strange, he always kept "talking" with NO PHONE- just like your H, WHERE'S THE RECEIPTS. I'D BE OVER THERE W/THE QUICKNESS, happy as heck to PROVE I WAS NOT A LIAR.. but J2, they *are* lying.

I DENIED H for 4 months from moving home after our S.. He WAS A LIAR.. and all words AND most importantly- I NEEDED MY SANITY. I also let myself actually begin to ENJOUY my house, only son, and my freedom w/friends, etc!! And believe me J2- this DRIVES A MAN WILD-- chasing his woman back, letting him know he is ACTUALLY losing you. Sometimes it is essential that you do this, and work on M slowly w/him like dating all over- it was NICE when this was happening w/me and H and still is <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I don't have a yahoo account-how do I get to the MSN site?

<small>[ September 29, 2004, 09:24 PM: Message edited by: giovanna123 ]</small>

Gio--Well I didn't think all in one room but was just checking--so looking forward to painting but not looking forward to the prep with taping off and then I was told to paint the org. wall color--white in my case along the tape end and then fills in any spots that would allow bleeding before I paint my ripe currant red. That I don't want to do but the rest I want to do.

JT2-- hang tight and stick to your guns. He needs to do all the proving and work right now I think.

Hey ladies I agree with you both. I am going to go on with my life. If he really wants to come home he'll work at it if not I'll have my peace of mind. I think I keep letting my hopes up that he is serioud but only to be let down again. I don't think I am going to try to think about it anymore. H keeps on calling and even acts as if he rally wants his family but I think he want to play family without all the responsibilities of being faithful and with us always.

I am GOING ON WITH MY DIVORCE. He'll never change I think. How could he he doesn't know how. This is all he's ever known, and if he is a serial cheater as I suspect then why change?

My only regret is that my kids are involved in this mess. I hurt for them! I am sorry their life is going as it is, but then again they are so happy I don't even think they know the difference. THEY LOVE THEIR MOMMY!!

Well I cant get onto the other site from home for some reason. I got my server working right as you can see, but I can not get on to the SBF site. I don't know what the problem is but I hope I can figure it out soon.

Talk to you all on tomorrow.

JT

JT, You rock. I know how hard this is for you. I know you still hurt and when he calls it makes it harder.

J2- the GOOD news is that the kids are only 1 and 2 years old- they will NEVER remember losing anything or any lifestyle w/H. They will be happy as clams cause they were "lucky" enough to not have the pain of divorce.

My parents divorced when myself and my siblings were all under 6- I have NO clue of any other way and we LOVED both families- and we all agree as adults that we never felt the pain of missing our mother and father together... know what I mean?

My mother has also been re-married to my stepfather for 30 years now and he is the most loving, attentive and kind husband a woman could wish for. My father was a poop at being a husband then and my mom got what she deserved in a H. J2 this can be you- while they are young it is the best time IF AND ONLY IF you HAVE TO DIVORCE that is!

You both are great girls, and I appreciate exactly what you are saying and I agree with you. I think that this is the best time because their life has not changed much and won't be effected like it would if they were older and could understand. I think that your mother is one of the luckiest women in the world to have found the mand that GOD evidently had in store for her.

Sometimes I think we rush into things or ask for things that are not really good for us but GOD allows us to have it in order to get us where we need to be in our lives. I think if I wait on the LORD this time that I can't go wrong. I feel as though he has to have someone in store for me that is wonderful to me and my children.

I am waiting and praying for that time and the peace that I will feel with it. I also pray to get over the anger and fear that I feel when dealing with my H. I will always have him in my life because he is the father of my children so I need to get over this pain for all of our sakes.

Thank each of you for all of your insight and confidence in me and my life - THANKS!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


G123 - You have been an inspiration and thank you for always sharing your experiences with me.

Genia - You gave good advice there girl - I am proud of you to!

Albany - Where are you?

Sunny - Where are You?

Thanks,

JT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

JT,

Thanks, I am trying to change. I think you are going to be fine. I see an inner strength in you through your posts.