Our C also HAD to end to ensure my children's emotional health.
OW was playing visitation games & we had already lowered our standards time & again, given numerous chances & even flat out warned OW that the games had to stop or else we would no longer be able to continue C. AND this wasn't 'silly BW demanding crap' this was 'stick to your word & the court order' junk!
Remember this was ALL under the supervision of a marraige & family therapist that OW, myself & H were seeing in order to work through this entire maze. (call me crazy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )
Games would stop for awhile as long as no 'issues' were being discussed so that there were no disagreements. But then.....predictably, the games started again.
My oldest was not doing well & had not for the past 2 years of C w/ OC. Was OC lovable? as much as any other 4-6 yo. Was she loved?...yes, we had grown attached & used to her. But my oldest could sense the stress of it all the most. He would become nausious, get headaches & sometimes vomit every time we would get OC.
So...when the games started up again-----we had to give up & give in. That was it--game over!
Sorry for OC? sure! Sorry for my other 2 as well who no longer get to see their 'sissy'. We write to OC regularly, send pictures, boxes of her stuff & plan on sending her holiday gifts as well. Unfortuenately, there has not been any response to any of our letters, not once in the past 3-4 months.
It's sad that the children suffer as well. I'm sorry for OC but it is not my fault & I have an obligation to protect my own.
Do I hate OW? deep down, not really. Mostly I am just angry @ her for her behavior these past 2 years. I think I really am mostly past the A nonsense. I completely understand that people grow, mature, & change. It's when they choose not to that frustrates me.
I sincerely pray for a miracle every night that somehow, someway, C can resume on a peaceful & respectful manner. But like I said--it would truly be a MIRACLE!
ooo
xxx
kt
PS: for those that it's working for--great terrific, there is enough ugly in this world....& Oc will have enough to deal w/ so it's great that they can have loving parents. No one would begrudge you that & I don't begrudge those who choose NC either----especially since I have been on both sides of that now-----I think I understand it even better.
AND I especially don't think I am any better than any one for the choices they have made. Believe me--either road is rough & tuff so the only road I vote for is the one that W & H choose TOGETHER!
