Yelo,
So I don't understand- what did he do with the other savings bond? Did he give her CASH or did he cut a check/money order specifically labeled in the memo area as CS arears???


TJ-
Lynn,

"And based on your behavior here, I am sure your child will be told quite an earfull on you and your behavior."

It's funny you think that because I "type" point blank without any emotion that I live that way. Think what you want, but I can guarantee that if I ran into you somewhere, you would never guess that I was once involved in an A and had an OC. In addition, I have never said anything mean to MM or his W. The only bad thing they can say about me is that I was involved with xMM while he was married. I have answered all of her questions and even apologized to her. I've never called her, never sought either of them out once NC was decided. MM said he does not blame me one bit, he's sorry that I got hurt and that I have always been good to him. If my child meets xMM & W someday, they will have no horror stories like you have.

<small>[ December 06, 2004, 07:19 PM: Message edited by: CheerfulLittleOne ]</small>

Ok so here's the full scoop, she said one of the savings bond was made out to her and she cashed it already, not what she said two days ago, the other was made out to oc and H, so he cashed it and got a cashiers check in plac eof it, he also got cashiers check for this years payment and it was labeled 3 of 5 installments in memo area, of course he didn't tell me this I had to snoop around in his car to find it and look at it. He said he doesn't want to talk about it and when I bring up this board he gets all defensive, like you all know him or something?
Yelo

Post deleted by Blackrio

Stormy,

Thank you for sharing your story. May I ask you a respectful question? Doesn't it seem untimely/premature to be making wedding plans when the MM is still married? I hope for your own sake, that you will wait until his divorce is final before really considering marriage or making firm plans. Even if his marriage were over now/already...I'd caution you about moving too quickly. The chaos that divorce, telling his wife etc will create might be a good indication of what you're going to face. More times than people think...that process becomes so painful, that many MM decide to remain in their marriages afterall. Also the bonds formed in marriage are far stronger than folks imagine sometimes.

How do you envision that being on this board might help prepare you? I'm also a little bit worried about how some of the folks with fresh betrayal might react to your situation, so be prepared for some raw feelings/language too okay? I do genuinely respect your honesty about posting on both sites though.

Post deleted by Blackrio

Sorry girls, but I can't help myself with this one!

Stormy

You my little lady are in a state of fog. IMO, you need some professional help. Women in an ok state of mind don't make marriage plans with MM.

Get a grip.

Post deleted by Blackrio

Ms. Stormy

You are not "comfortable with you decisions" as much as you might want to think you are. Do yourself a favor and get some help. Again - Get a grip, some self-respect, respect for others and use something called "control".

I know I'm wasting my breath, because if you haven't figured it out by now, you're probably never going to. Am assuming you're over your mid-20's that is. As a general rule people tend to grow up about that age and see how their actions and lack of self control, self-respect, and respect for others hurt not only themselves but others. A sad life you'll live.

I'm not one to argue with those that don't understand a lifestyle that is so radically different than theirs. Its just wasted energy when I have a better time using mine in a positive manner. But I do "control" me. I just don't try and control others and that's a big plus for me. The truth of the matter is that is mostly everyone (read: mostly women) that is not comfortable with the way I chose to live. They feel like I am going against some code of womanhood and that I should shape up and do what they were taught to do. What they fail to realize is that "one size DOES NOT fit all." Your rules may not be my rules and think goodness because this world would be a mighty boring place if we all lived the same way.

You know, my greatest fear is that my children will grow up to be "conventional." Oh the horror. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

The type of reply I expected. So sad. Another one to take pity on.

Stormy

YOU absolutely make me sick! I have faith. I have witness many times over the years,,, and I live by it... fully ...

What goes around comes around.

How many fathers do you have for your three babies? One thing I do pray for... that your children will recognize that leading life of lies and deciet only hurts them.

And if that therapist was telling you that bullsh*t, then honey you went to wrong therapist!

And tell me?? How is this site helping you??? How to screw over the wife!!!

I pity you! Too bad, your children deserve better than you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I'm not the one living a lie. I have always been open abouy my relationship with MM and my whole entire family knows about the situation. MM comes to many of our family functions.

As far as my children, I have done well as a single mom. Bought my own house last year, have a degree, have many skills that I am to keep my schedule flexible depending on which ones I chose to use, etc... Materialism is not big in my book. I live a very basic life so that I can invest more in my children and family. This is what drew MM to me years ago when he was single and why he came back a few years ago.

And yes, all my kids have different fathers. Again, conventional lifestyles don't interest me. But I do accept and manage the consequences of the decisions I make.

And yes, I do believe in the what goes around comes around too. But I see it from a different perspective. He left me years ago because he had trouble accepting some of my beliefs. He met and married his wife months later on the rebound. Now he realizes that what I believe isn't really wrong but different and now feels ready to accept all into his life. So he then came back to me. But I suppose this isn't what you meant. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Storm
You seem like such a nice person....but now that I've found out what you stand for...I totally cannot believe you, why are you here? Why are you people, ow, even on this website? This site is for those of us who have been through A and are tying to recover reaching out to each ohter for advice. Trying to speak to those who are in our same situation. Makes me wonder if you are not here to get brownie points, to push all the right buttons with mm wife. People like you totally disgust me, I don't like to pass judgement on others but, YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG!
If you are dating mm, whether his relationship is in trouble or not, whether he says he is going to get divorced or not you are wrong sister!!! That is what is wrong with the world today, people have lost their morales. I totally agree with in a nut, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!! Don't you know if he is cheating on his wife with you, that he will do it to you also? Oh let me guess, he wouldn't do that, right? Well guess what he is doing it now with you!
Yelo

And I am here because while I may be unconvential, I am concerned about how his wife will take the news. Not only will she laern that her husband has been involved in a long term affair with a woman he has benn supporting financially and emotionally but that he has a another child..one that he has been actively involved with and is not willing to give up contact with. I know she is going to hurt. I know she will display anger and hate. I know she is going to have questions for both of us. I knpw that she is going to feel like she is living a repeat of her mom's own life. In short, she is going to be devastated and I really don't wish her any ill will. And I have learned a lot just from the short time I have been here. So no, I'm not here to screw the wife. I'm here to understand her and to see her side of things. Regardless of how much my MM tells me, I know that there is a side of the story that is missing.

IF YOU WERE CONCERNED ABOUT WIFE'S WELFARE, YOU WOULD NOT NEED TO BE HERE BECAUSE YOU WOULD NOT BE DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!

Soooo, you aren't here to do any marriage building? Just to see what kind of pain you are inflicting? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Stormy

You are garbage and I couldn't give two sh*ts what the hell you have. Garbage is just that, "GARBAGE" How the hell do you know how the Wife is going to feel??

I be more concern what kind of an example I am teaching my own children if I were you. What kind of message are sending your children. "Anything Goes" or "Yes you can have relationship even though its been built on deciet and lies" "It's ok to screw anybody over as long as you are benifiting from it..the hell with anybody else involved?? God forbid if this man created children with the wife. (Please tell me they have NO children involve??)

Stormy you cheated your children and you cheated this poor innocent wife. You are the worse kind. I call it evil.

You brag about this being completely open relationship, does your loser of a MM's wife know about this relationship? If she doesn't then its far from being an open relationship! You are just as evil as your MM... anybody capable of using another human being in this capacity is just evil. If he's capable of doing this to his wife...then Stormy I be careful for what I wish for...you just might get it!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ December 11, 2004, 01:14 AM: Message edited by: wizard ]</small>

Findingmywayback

I think you nailed it. Most definately is what Stormy is doing. She is relishing in the fact of knowing that she is going to put someone in this kind of agony. She feeds off it.
You can tell. It all so easy for her. Don't you think?

I'm here to understand the pain she will be going through and to get an understanding of "her side." The situation is going to be rather complicated because he does have a 3 year old daughter with her. AND the fact that his wife herself is an OC that was given up for adoption because of the circumstances, I am very concerned about how this part will play an even bigger part when she finds out that her husband is involved in the same type of relationship that cause her bio parents not to be able to keep her some 40 years ago.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy posting here. I was prepared for that. But again, squabbling isn't on my agenda in doing this. I am not relishing in the fact that this woman will be emotionally torn down for some time after all this is revealed. I am not proud that their daughter will have two warring parents.

I am not a serial OW so yes, I really didn't think of these issues until recently. I never expected him to leave his wife so many of these areas weren't issues until now. But I have many of my own family members who are OCs including my own mom. Most of these individuals didn't have a lot of problems growing up because the families often fused together. To say I come from a family where involving OWs and being OWs is common place sounds far fetched but its true. But it was often common place for the BSs not to leave so eventually everyone learned to work together. Yes, I know some of the animosity still existed because many of the affairs still didn't end until years later. But I understand that being around a rather unconvential family has helped to ensure my unconventional beliefs, I often have to go outside my box to see how things affect or can affect those raised differently from me. This is one of those areas.

So sorry if you feel I have deliberately set out to cause his wife pain because I didn't. To be perfectly honest, I didn't think much about her until recently. Sorry if my honesty doesn't fall within your rules of reality in which its every OW's intention to deliberately hurt the BS.

Stormy

Of all people you should know better don't you think? You grew up with a bunch very selfish adults... you witnessed and learn that its ok to treat others this way...

It sounds like you have never been betrayed...

This man's wife needs to know the truth not your sympathy..you are BOTH using this poor lady...you are robbing her of her choices and you are robbing the child, a father. The longer this goes on the more you are stealing her life.... (and the therapist told you that's ok??)

What astounds me is that you are willing to expose your children to this creep...he's a low life creep. He's using another human being..just b/c she was just rebound!! Thats horrid? And you absolutely can sleep at night knowing that you can destroy another person this way..?? You can expose your children to this??

You are teaching your children... "you can't trust nobody" & "you can't believe in anything"
Their own mother, the one they look to for guidance....and you are robbing them too... for a chance at real father..a man that has the balls to end one relationship before starting another...

They will grow up not trusting anything...and you are teaching them there is no hope....shame on you....you are their mother??

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ December 11, 2004, 11:51 PM: Message edited by: wizard ]</small>