You are right NTMO. I read the clarification of the intention AFTER I posted.

And technically her OW is no longer an OW......unless she was still actively pursuing MM.
SO it may not apply in this case.
But that doesn't mean her statement applied to YOU either. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

GRACE<--------------
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And you must also read the REST of my post about those 'generalizations' too.

I think it applies here as well.

---------------->GRACE
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I KNOW you understand how it is when you are NEW to this situation, no matter what side, and also understand the protectiveness we feel towards on of our own.

And I'm not trying to excuse bad behavior but a generalization & overlooking it sometimes, is not earth shattering or life altering.

When it is still present years later.......then there is a problem.

YOu know how it is when you are upset or trying to vetn or whatever..........the last thing you need to hear is a criticism of y oru 'tone', right? LOL

I remember when H first told me about A & OC-----(from one who rarely thinks a foul word much less utters one out loud) I just about blew his head off w/ obscenities! And ONE time he had hte NERVE to remind me how WRONG I was for using such foul language, even though he knew he deserved it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> LOL

Not exactly a smart thing to say to your BW when you're trying to reconcile. But you get my point right?

Sometimes, there are OTHER times & places to point things out & I have tried to learn that.

---------------->GRACE<------------

xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
kt

KT, your right..........Grace.....I've learned that in the past few years for sure. I do understand what your saying on Grace. I guess because I had thought I had shown her that not all ow or xow are the same by conversations with her and being really concerned about her and how she had been doing through all this I took it more personally. I just for some reason felt so bad for her when I first met her with her age and some of what she was having to deal with. I took it personally. I'll be honest......I did.

NTMO-

You KNOW this is HER place....

You KNOW that she could not, ever dream of coming to the OW's site and calling them out of line...

And

You KNOW I have ZERO problem with you or any Xow - titles mean NOTHING- its in the MEAT of the person/posts... SO

REMEMBER-- this is a place where the BW can be VERY VERY raw- she may not have the specific time or energy it takes in a particular post to think of any xow posting here and how SHE may feel, know what I mean?

YOU are not acting like a psyco- YOU are raising your kids in a way that can be respected, etc- and you are trying to move on the best you can!

I understand your feelings on this, of course, though. I take pride in the fact that the ladies HERE are not complete, ignorant, selfish, nasty pigs who ONLY CARE ABOUT TITLES-- and I don't want you to take this stuff personal at times!!!!!

I have to agree that OW are acting stupid at the time of the affair. And I was TOW once, (I use my age and lack of maturity as an excuse :-)), and then to get pregnant??? Even I wasn't that stupid to ever take that chance even at age 21. What kind of life is that for a child. They say they are being unselfish by not getting an abortion...OK? Then how selfish was it of you to risk getting pregnant just to "get some". Please. YES, my H was also slefish, thoughtless and just plain stupid to do what he did. Why would I not say his "partner in crime" in this wasn't acting the same way? I think these women are selfish period. If I ever had such a monumental lapse in judegment to get pregnant w/a married man's baby and I WANTED (and it's nothing more than that) to keep it, I would never expect him to help me, and I would find a daddy for that child and would expect nothing more from the MM than he and his wife were comfortable in giving. Period. To make an entire family pay for MY stupidity is more than even God says you should do. God is judge and jury in this one for me.

And b4 all of you bash me for making statements of what should be expected of the H, My H and I are and will do more than the courts say we have to, but that has been OUR decision.

ok I missed any comments made to me by anyone but I am glad because I doubt highly that I would care what was said. Wiz thanks anyway.

I truely would like a disclaimer put up on my signature line or profile that states;
ALL OW DO NOT RESPOND OR COMMENT ON ANYTHING I POST EVER. I AM NOT HERE TO SPEAK TO U!

I am here to speak to other BSs that have something they can say to me, that Can relate to my situation and OUR shared experiences.

I COULD CARE LESS WHAT ANY OW HAS TO SAY ABOUT ANYTHING EVER!

My right to speak to the people I can relate to and whos opinions I value.

I think I will start any and all my own personal posts with this statement, so hopefully some unwanted posters comments will bypass me and mine.

Cordy (can I call you that? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ), click on my profile (@ the top) & you can make your own personal 'signature' that will accompany ALL of your posts.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo
kt

thank you I appreciate the information.

how long does it take to kick in?