Hey girlies,
I have been so lost without you chics!!! I am glad to finally see you on the boards. i have not been able to find you ladies for awhile and I hae been one unhappy camper.
my update: NO! NO! NO! MY DH has not been served yet!!! I am so tired of this darn rollercoaster ride until it inbelieveable. I am beginning to feel as though this is some kind of conspiracy going on agains ME!!! He is still not living in the house which he will probably never be coming back to because I am tired of it all. With all of that said we are living peacefully if I must say so. He come by the house to see the kids nightly ( against RO but i allow it). I know that might seem crazy, but I think it is better for the kids to spend time with their father rather than not. They see him more now than they did when he did not live in the home, plus I think it is good for him to also have to take the time off to spend it with them.
I do not engage in anything involving our future. I don't question him about anything I just take one day at a time (secretly hoping that today will be the day that he is served). I say that because he has really not done anything when it it comes to dealing with OW/OC. I don't know if he still sees them and I don't really care (somewhat of course I do). I just want him to know that the time for me to wait on him is now up. The decision is now mine to leave this marriage with no more regrets. i have done all that I can possible do?
He has to do the work now and prove himself to be the man that he should be and maybe we could have the marriage that should have been, but I am pretty sure that won't happen becauese he still to some degree blames me for his cheating..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
We do the family grill outs at home and go my ss track events. We act like a family should except there is no SF and no real loving gestures ( hugs, kisses, touching). I do love him so , but I can't do this for him he must do this on his own. I have been pleasant though, I don't allow thoughts of OW/OC enter my head and spew out of my mouth like I use to ( aren't you proud of me)!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
The kids are happy with seeing their father and I slip into their little heads softly when they ask where daddy is going? I tell them well daddy has to go home and get him some rest for work tomorrow. They question no more, but I do want to plant the seed that he does have another home and does not live with us eventhough they already know this. He does spend the night on some occasions, but again nothing to it.
I am going to try and make this as painless as possible. although I love him so much until it sometimes hurts I am sure that he doesn't know how bad he does hurt me. I am trying to keep it as upbeat as possible for the kids sake because I am trying to master the coparenting thing with this man. I do not want to be at any family function and we feel like we have to sit on the opposite sides of the table. Better yet he feels like he doesn't have a place at the table anymore, no matter what happens with us he is my childrens father and I chose him to be that was not a mishap. ( sorry for the run on)
I just want us to be divorced and still able to master the being together deal, but Not Being together deal. We have agreed that we only want to be the ones parenting our children (until further notice has been given by either party). I want them to be able to feel comfortable in having both of their parents around and not in an hostile evironment. Tey are loved and loved by both and I want them to know it!!!
Am I a FOOL for even thinking I can do this!!! With GOD's GRACE it will happen and maybe we will at some point decide to better ourselves in the process. GOD does work miraces you know!!!
I want to just be able to BREATHE - EXHALE and finally say that I am free to do as I wish go ou with someone if I wish (right now I don't but someday). I want him to know and realize what he threw away without carving it into his scull!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Enough about me......
Mily, you sound like everything has been going good. I can concurr with you on the counseling thing I don't even bring it up anymore, I don't bring up any of my rquests about NC, CS,V,DNA when it comes to dealing with OW/OC. He has done none of them wich means I am doing the right thing in moving on.
I hope that he continues to be the H that he needs to be and I agree with oyu don't move to fast on the reconciliation. I think they know that we love them so that we will just keep waiting on them.
B-- I love you girl, but you do need to go on with your new life. I dont' mean leave him out all together, but at least get it started and see what happens with him then. If nothing changes then you now have a fresh start and a happy future ahead.
I gotta go right now a meeting, but will come back shortly!!!
Sorry time slipped up on me!!
JT
