Very true Very true.

What KT wrote in my other thread is correct I am an equal opportunity UNsympathizer. Is that even a word? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> My dad received no mercy from me.

Look I know that all OW are not the same, all WS's are not the same. Let me explain by what I mean different. I believe these cheaters (my father included) and homewreckers are capable of different levels of deceitfulness and carnage. That's the only thing that makes them different from each other. They each handle the fallout a different way...some do what is right.....others well are just plain *******s.

That is why I have no problem lumping them all together and why I will continue to do so. I am not going to take the time to type out any OW who is not aware that he was married, is very sorry for what she did, who has only slept with 5 men or less etc, etc, is not a slut. I am not going to take the time to type the same thing about WS's.

If that makes me closed minded that is okay by me. I do have a low opinion of OW/WS who only think of their own selfish needs for sexual gratification and destroy their families.

I have been reminded of something to show how little I thought of my father after D-day. His b-day was coming up and I was not going to get him anything but I changed my mind. I downloaded one of those generic award letters from the internet and went to paint shop and put his picture in the award. I said Congratulations welcome to the Cheaters Hall of Shame. I even framed it. That was his b-day present from me that year. I wonder if he still has it.

MH,
To answer your question we have gotten close again, but I don't take anything he has to say very seriously especially about issues such as love, family, etc. He gives great career advice though.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Kimmy I'd say it's ow/mm fault. PERIOD!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">EXACTLY!

In the case of the OW being lied to, ignorance does not negate responsibility.

- Kimmy

Well Cody all I can say is I hope that someday you can see past the tunnel vision. The one thing I've learned in life is never say never. I hope that you don't find yourself any position that you have to been lumped into something that you did and feel bad that you did. If your mom seems to think that your dad is worthy of that trust again maybe she sees something you don't. Then again, it could be age. I know the older I got the more I saw things differently than I did in my twenties. So I will try an refrain from my comments to you. I don't agree with you, but that is okay as we are all different and at different stages and if we were all the same none of us would have anything interesting to say to the other or would be able to learn from each other.

If I could lump all OW's together I would say they were naive and don't have great decision making capabilities. So why should I expect you to act like an intelligent, rational adult now? I was an OW when I was 21. Yep, lump myself right in there with the rest of the OW. Can we change, learn, grow? Yep. To say it's because he lied to me, open your eyes. You see what you want to see. Been there, done that. To say you don't feel ashamed for it is wrong to me. I now feel ashamed. I feel sorry and I will make ammends in another life. Had I gotten pregnant, I would have never expected a damn thing form MM. My decision to take the risk, my decision to have baby. Haven't I done enough damage?

I know why my H strayed. He continues to make ammends to me everyday. I, personally believe though that OW need to make ammends also. That doesn't mean causing rukus (sp?) for the OF (other family). Deal. If you don't get what you want, oh well. You made this bed. We didn't want anymore children. Not our decision, yours. deal. I have no sympathy for any OW.

In my case I have met the OW and I don't feel she did this on purpose, I feel she was mislead, but had enough info to make a rational decision about what she was doing, and did it anyway. I feel for her that this is not her "happy ending" and that this road will be hard for her, but it was her own choices that got her where she is. Yes we will support her baby financially and will have visitation, for this she should be thankful, suck it up and move on.

I'm sorry, but having been there, I would never blame MM for getting me pregnant. Was he a jerk for leading you on and lying to his wife, yep, his bag. His issues are his issues and I would have been a fool who got pregnant. Does the MM have a responsibility. He should, but to say he should or else. Own your **** and let God handle him.

I know there are some sane OW here and I commend you. If you disagree, let's leave it at that, because I just won't see it any other way, especially having been in the shoes of an OW already. JMHO!

Delurking to chime in in agreement with CodyG.

I haven’t posted on this site in a few months, but I visit/lurk frequently and have learned a lot. I felt compelled to sign on and post on this thread because I feel exactly the same way CodyG does.

I too am the adult child of a cheating father. In my case, I don’t have a bio-half sibling/OC but my father did have a close father/child relationship with OW’s child throughout the child’s life. You could say my father emotionally adopted OW’s child as his own.

The way I see it, there is a large majority of the OW population that fits mine and, I believe, CodyG’s belief that they are basically bad people, out to hurt other people at whatever the cost. There are always exceptions to that rule. However it takes a lot of time and interaction to weed out the exceptions from the norm. My personal experience with OW/OM has taught me that from jump they are not to be trusted with anything. That they act for their own benefit and disregard everything else – even their own children. I frankly don’t have time to wait and sort through every single instance and weigh one OW’s motives vs. another’s. Life is too short. The way I see it, if you don’t like being lumped in with the majority of STOW, then don’t volunteer for the title.

CodyG – you’re not alone in your thoughts and feelings towards your father, his OW or OW in general. Just wanted you to know that.