And "your clarity" does?

ent

Yes. I am here to support marriage.

Pep,

You are something else.

Love your style lady!

xo, Gio

Because.....


Marriage is the topic.

Figured I would help you out Pep!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ent

dang ent....I can't remember HOW many posts I have read today w/ YOU following pep!

What are you DOING?

You look like a freaking {cyber} stalker!

chill out.

xoxox
kt

Excuse me......

Don't start on me KT

ent

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Okay I know I'm going to regret this one.........
In most states, the father of the child is respsonsible for 1/2 the medical, 1/2 the confienment, Etc. Etc....
If I remember right in one of Stormy's post she mentioned that her phone was shut off because xmm was helping her with his share of the bills and his and his wife's car broke down at the same time and he had to fix them. She was on bed rest. She accepted he had obligations to his home and he took care of that. Also Lynn, as far as her phone, yes it's 2005 but not everyone especially if they are in bed or sick or whatever can afford a phone. (I personally can't live without one) but not everyone is in the position regardless of the situation to have things like that. She also let him claim there daughter on there income taxes to help him have more money to get caught up on his bills. Legally she did not have to do that considering that he does not have the child 51% of the time. I don't have to let h claim any of daughters on income tax as I have them 95% of the time, but he would have to pay more taxes and I it's only fair in my eyes to let him do it. It was an agreement we made between us and it was drawn up that way. My attorney told me over and over and I had to repeat myself over and over to her that this what I agreed to with him and it will be written up this way. No if's ands or butts. To flat out tell her "Gravy Train" is wrong Lynn. It's also wrong that this man has no guts to tell his wife and what is going on. Stormy knows how I feel about this and I've talked to her about this. She also knows how I feel that when the wife finds out it's not going to be pretty. The chances of it staying the way it is right now are slim. I think she also said (I could be wrong) that he is paying below the guidelines in order to help her out with the bills for a couple of months. He got himself in the financial mess he is in. Stormy did not do that to him but to help him she let him claim the daughter to catch up on his mortgage etc. Again the wife should know these things and it's beyond me how she never found out. Thank Goodness she did not try and get credit somewhere for something and thinking everything was dandy and then get denied and find out that way. I think one wife found out when calling the IRS? OUCH <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
At least NOW she is NO LONGER carring on her affair with this man. Legally she has no choice but to let him see the child. It's his right am I right? She can't force him to tell the wife. If she tells her then she will look like she did it on purpose and it could be worse on her. I think just as you do that if the wife finds out when this child is old enough to know her father and have bonded a relationship with him it is going to be horrible on this child if he bails on her after the wife finds out. This is not in the best interest of the child. Sure he could keep his word and we like to think they do, but well you know the rest of that story. Stormy I'm not putting you down or anything else. I'm trying to be tackful about this and tell you what could happen. I do NOT however feel you are taking the "gravy train". I've read your threads and remember what you've said about things to do with money with him. I think it's porbally best to go over to otherchildren to discuse this though. I'm sorry. I know you've given some great advise about the cs laws to woman in your state over here and helped them. But right now your hurting too, and this is not the place for them to understand where your coming from. There are a few newbies here and I'm sorry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by needtomoveon:

At least NOW she is NO LONGER carring on her affair with this man. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">not true.....

because this secret $$$ arrangement

and

secret discussions

and

clandestine meetings

are ongoing

behind the betrayed wife's back

This is still an ACTIVE affair which HURTS the marriage.

The affair is over when the secrecy between OW and MM is no more, and the wife has ALL the information to decide for herself what she chooses to do with her assets.

Pep

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by needtomoveon:

At least NOW she is NO LONGER carring on her affair with this man. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">not true.....

because this secret $$$ arrangement

and

secret discussions

and

clandestine meetings

are ongoing

behind the betrayed wife's back

This is still an ACTIVE affair which HURTS the marriage.

The affair is over when the secrecy between OW and MM is no more, and the wife has ALL the information to decide for herself what she chooses to do with her assets.

Pep </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">AHEM!!!! Bravo Pep! I love you girl! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Sorry Mary, I have to agree with Pep and Kandi.

The betrayal is still going on. There should be no need for all the sneaking around.

But pep...

Doesn't she get some "brownie" points for stopping the physical aspect? She's making an effort. It's not her responsibility to tell the wife.
But....and this is a big one.....I have to agree that I would rather it be a KNOWN affair REGARDLESS of how it was discovered.

ent

Ent

I was in her shoes once. The affair was over but MM was still doing the sneaking around. Lying to the X/wife about seeing the kids and give some money to help out.

I know I couldn't live that way. No the affair wasn't going on, but in a way I was still contributing to the betrayal.

Good point crazy!

Missed that one. Well...got to go to work.. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> ..DANG!

ent

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by entwifejmr:
<strong> But pep...

Doesn't she get some "brownie" points for stopping the physical aspect? She's making an effort. It's not her responsibility to tell the wife.
But....and this is a big one.....I have to agree that I would rather it be a KNOWN affair REGARDLESS of how it was discovered.

ent </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">????? Why come to a board specifically designed to support the recovery of marriages and post about the ongoing secrecy that is destroying a marriage ????

And what good are OW brownie points to the betrayed wife in this senario RIGHT NOW? It is not in the best interest of this marriage that OW receives "points" .... OW or her "points" are irrelevant to the recovery of this particular marriage. This marriage is going down the drain due to the secrecy, not due to the sex or lack of sex in the affair. (plus, the decision to end the PA was done on 2/18/05 .... and probably the PA will re-kindle very soon... because of the continued secrecy)

If she is seeking support for ending her affair, I urge her to try a board specifically designed for that purpose.

Pep

<small>[ March 02, 2005, 07:43 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Infidelity is not just sex. Lack of "fidelity" TRUTH/Honor/loyalty is also infidelity. BlackRio, I commend you for ending the physical part of the affair...but the infidelity will continue until honesty is restored to the marriage. I worry about safety too during exposure....so my advice to you would be to really do your best to convince MM that his wife needs to told about this situation...from him. Do whatever you can to make that happen.

I also have to admit to a certain amount of skepticism about your sincerity. I read at TOW not too long ago that you said you were "banned" from this site (delivered with disdain)....it was during that big controversy that led to most BWs no longer posting there. You made it sound like lots of OW are banned from here so it was only fitting that BWs didn't post there...and that really isn't true at all. I thought that odd because there were OW here that were much more destructive than you were....and couldn't imagine you being banned while they were still posting. Now, that I see you here....I'm wondering what your motive for saying that on TOW was.

<small>[ March 02, 2005, 07:51 AM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

The father of the child owes child support, he does not owe you a phone???? Good lord. How on earth is your being unable to work his fault? Did he break your legs?

I smell a rat here.

You ARE in dangerous waters, cause he CAN'T give away his wife's property. He can't sell his house without her signature, etc.

Like it or not, believe me or not, THEY are seen as one. YOU are not part of that marriage. Your child may be his, but that does not mean YOU get supported. YOU are/were never the wife. The CHILD gets support. You are headed for disaster.

I started this post to let Stormy know that I thought she was doing the right thing by ending her relationship with a MM.
Never did I entend for it to end up like this.
It has gotten way out of hand. I will not make that mistake again.
Stormy I am sorry. I never entented for it to go this way.
For any others I am sorry if this thread hurt or offended anyone.

P.S> I am the one that found out from the IRS. NOT FUN>

<small>[ March 02, 2005, 12:01 PM: Message edited by: Tylorsstepmom ]</small>

I also have to admit to a certain amount of skepticism about your sincerity. I read at TOW not too long ago that you said you were "banned" from this site (delivered with disdain)....it was during that big controversy that led to most BWs no longer posting there. You made it sound like lots of OW are banned from here so it was only fitting that BWs didn't post there...and that really isn't true at all.

I was banned and I contacted JustUss to ascertain why. After some dialogue with her, the admins relented and let me back on. You can even go to my history and see that there is a almost a 2 week break from posting on this forum. This was because of the ban.

I believe you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And I really appreciate you explaining it to me. I remember the "break" because after you mentioned it...I looked for you posts. Again, thanks.