Lost if you find the sleep builders site let me know. LOL

I am very happy that the desire to contact the OW is lessening especially at the time when she is itching to have contact with you. Good for YOU! You explained it away in your letter and if she is too dense to understand too bad 4 her.

If you ever get caught up or cornered by her, simply do not respond hopefully she will get the picture, if you see her in person remove yourself from the situation quickly without words, if she catches you on the phone hang up.

If she does corresponde with you Like the voicemail or any mailings of any sort you really do need to just put them to the side and keep them for evidence like your attorney said I was thinking that when you said flukette erased them LOL. I am a big evidence person myself, My stalker is the xow.
It goes that way sometimes, as long as the unstable OP feels there is some glimmer of hope any contact good or bad feeds the need like a drug. The OP person started out alone without you and was just fine She needs to realize thats how she is going to end up, and still be just fine. LOST71 your only concern at this time should be your family. That cold turkey no contact conveys that message LOUD and Clear.

Again I am proud of you, and the fact that you didnt give in to your curiosity to see what she said was just WONDERFUL!
It could be like a drug for you as well even to hear the OP voice on a voicemail so I can not convey enough what PROGRESS that was.

Thanks for the encouragement, Cordelia. After the way my recovery imploded last fall, I take very seriously the importance of ZERO CONTACT. I've seen first-hand that there is no such thing as an innocuous encounter or exchange, especially dealing with this person.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Flukette:
<strong> Flukeboy and Flukette here...

Above statements are true and complete.

And how cool is that?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lost~

You are very blessed to have these good friends in your life. I think it's so important to have people in our lives that will hold us accountable when we mess up. They CANNOT stop you from cheating anymore than your wife can, but it's SO good to hear they are friends that will NOT enable your poor behavior and destructive decisions by overlooking them and coddling you.

They are TRUE friends~~again you are blessed to have them, and you will be WISE to keep them, and to thank them daily too!

Welcome to you AND to you as well, Mrs. Lost! I'm already praying for the recovery of your M.

Warmest regards,
~ad

Welcom Missus and Flukette!

Flukette you and your dh are da bombdiggin'est! What blessings your friendships are!

Missus,

OY! Do I ever know what a complete and total b*tch false recovery is. For us, it resulted in not just 1 OC, but 2! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Nio (my husband's nickname) is JUST coming to terms with it all (will be posting about that later).

Sheesh. Why did I stay? You know, Nio asked me that last night...He still has such a hard time reckoning that in his brain. His heart tells him to be happy, his brain says he doesn't deserve it (at which point that smart a$$ed part of me wants to scream, "NOW YOU'VE DECIDED TO USE YOUR BRAIN??? NOW???")

Well, see, it's like this:

I saw the potential. I remembered the way he was before he broke. Could I fix him? No. But I could be there if/when he decided to pick up the pieces of himself and hand him the superglue.

I had to ask myself, "Do I have it in me to watch the person I love with every atom of my being(((maybe))) self destruct?" By that I mean, if he slid back again, could I stand around to watch it. The answer was, "Yeah." I hate it but, yeah. Do I think I could have handled it much longer...I highly doubt it. There came a point in his breaking that it was beginning to break me. I was having to ask myself if I could keep it up...the answer was coming back more and more, "I'm just so effin' tired."

I was able to stick it out. I did it because that is who I am. I had a breaking point myself, but didn't get to it. Not everyone's tinsile strength is the same. If the pressure kept pulling at me, I definately would have broken.

But here we are. OW is still a kooze, I highly doubt she has it in her to pull herself out of the miasma that is her life...it's a character flaw, I think. But Nio...hunh...I just think that he has it in him to grow past this. Sure, it's a wound that will scar. But it's not an ever open stigmata...I pray that he knows that....I think he does.

- Kimmy

Kimmy, hi there - feeling better I hope!
Thanks for the support & insight. I can identify w/ the relationship having good potential. We'll see. Spent more time w/ FWH this weekend and today then the prior month combined, we'll see. We have a phone session w/ Dr. Harley (Mrs.) on Thursday night; hopefully productive. Got a "nice" letter from OW yesterday, that was cute. The most NON-apology I ever saw - oh well, I don't expect anything better from her.

NTL, you asked if BS and WS post at the same time on the same board at a time like this? Yes, they do...we are examples of that...My WH is now posting over at SYMC in the reclamation board...a private board just for WS who are ending an A or trying to end it...it is a safe place for WS to post without anyone else being able to read their thoughts...not even their own BS...

I caution both of you on posting to EACH OTHER on this board...do not use it as a means to communicate with each other...There are a few private boards for BS with OC as well...you have to have permission to get into them, but I am sure if you asked you would be granted!

I have only a minute here, so didn't have time to read your whole thread this monring...I hope you are doing well! hang tight!

mt3boys

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Kimmy, hi there - feeling better I hope!
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">MUCH better! But I gave it to my boss, and now his kids have it, too. Their family is supposed to go hiking next week during spring break. I feel so guilty....but I had to come to work 'cause there was something to do here only I knew how to do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Blech!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I can identify w/ the relationship having good potential. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is good that you can recognize that it's there. I think Lost has made a good start. We (MBers) will attempt to provide the necessary 2x4s, support, and starch (for spine and knees) to stave off potential backsliding. I do see that he is beginning to see what a manipulative person OW is...you can't imagine how annoying and unbecoming that is to a guy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . YEAH for NC. Let her hang herself with her ploys. Her (snort) apology letter proves her lack of self control and empathy for anyone but herself.

(((squidges dearie))) Take care of yourself and your babies. I think that you've earned at least an hours bubble bath next time dwh takes the kiddoes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> This reclamation stuff is hard on a gal!

- kimmy