</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">they do not have to "call OC" to check up between visits-- expecially coming from a man. I can see once in between visits if the baby is healthy.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Xmm would call the house once a week to talk with the kids. They were 4 & 2 at the time. Of course after a minute or two they were board, putting the phone down and running off.

The only time I would call xmm was to inform him if the kids were sick on a day he was to pick them up.

Looking back some of the clues I had were his lack of making anything legal and procrastinating on the paternity test. I would go on most of the exchanges. I always felt he was defending OW.

In the end I noticed H was having a hard time sleeping, waking up at odd hours of the night, sick to his stomach. He left for work one morning at an obscenely early time, he usually is late to work. I later found out it was because he was checking if OW was home (she was w/ a new boyfriend.) That was the day I got his cell phone records, up to 8 calls a day on some days. I had checked the records before and he must have been careful before, calling from work etc... I guess he got careless. He had been telling me when OW called (supposedly), but obviously there was more contanct than I knew about. It seemed to me they talked more than they needed to, and that was just the calls I knew about. OW never wanted me around OC, although H would insist that I would be. We never had OC overnight, or even long enough to take her to our house.

One of my tip-off the affair was still going on stories...

I was printing off copies of his sister's wedding photos for different family members (both of our DD were also in the wedding, so lots of family pictures); I was saving a set for us.

DH/STBXH/FWH started looking over my shoulder and saying "I want one of those" - okay, I think; it is a cute picture, here have it.

Then "And one of those" "ooh, and that one" and that one, and that one... finally I said "Why do you need all these pictures for yourself, I printed us our own set. Going somewhere?"

He had no comment at the time, but less than 2 weeks later I found out the relapse had been going on for over a month at that point. He got her pregnant somewhere in there, right around the time I was printing the photos.

My point to other BW being, my intuition was going off at that point, I thought it was weird, but ignored it.

THAT, combined with business trips & the standard "working late" should have been enough for me to bust him. AND ESPECIALLY he got emotionally distant. At one point I remember telling him "I'm dying here" because he was so closed off.

But I'm glad he admitted it when I asked him straight out rather than "catching" him at it - that would have been even worse.