Hang in there...you & your W can beat this and recover!

Keep pressing on! Stay encouraged. You are in my prayers......... <P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Apologies for taking so long to respond. That pesky thing called work keeps getting in the way. <P><B>Roll Me Away (Desiree)</B><BR>I certainly hope the corner has been turned! I'm ready for a different view. Thanks for your prayers. <P><B>Samantha-MI</B><BR>Thank you Samantha. It sounds kind of corny to say I'm a better man now, but I am. I have grown and learned so much. I was stuck in a rut and I'm not going back. Life is to be savored and I'm trying to enjoy each day. You're an inspiration to me too. Thanks.<P><B>Just Learning</B><BR>I'm not sure my wife is feeling anything for me right now. It will probably be some time for that. She is hurting tremendously. This past weekend she let some more of the anger out toward me. We recovered again, so I think there are still many, many issues to resolve but I am looking forward to meeting the challenges with the OM out of the picture. Time, lots more time. Your insight is always welcomed, thank you.<P><B>Sailor (Ron) </B><BR>Thanks Ron. I posted to you a couple times today. Hope your OK. I wish our stories were more similar in reaction to our Plan a efforts. I think your wife will come around. I'm apprehensive about the future. I know my wife and I still have tough times ahead. She has a lot of grieving to do. Then there's resentment, trust, honesty, and other issues. It's not easy but, I think we will work our way through. I'm here for the duration. As long as we're both willing to try, what more can a couple ask for? I know for my self, I am never going to take her for granted again. Thanks buddy, I hope you keep posting so we can help one another out.<P><B>facing choices</B><BR>FC, I can't think of a better compliment anyone could have given me. You made my day! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your insight into my wife's mind has been so valuable to me, I can't thank you enough. I'm pulling for you too. Don't you dare give up. You're a good lady, FC. I'm praying for you too. <P><B>gale</B><BR>Hi gale, I hope your day will come. I remember reading books and posts about folks getting to the other side of this mess. It always seemed so far away. Keep trying. Work on you. Be the Gale that God sees in you. No matter how things go, you will be made stronger through this. Keep posting too. It helps to write it out; trials, victories, whatever. Thanks for posting to me. If I can help, let me know.<P><B>SamH</B><BR>Sam, You certainly get a clear picture of what patience is through this. Time goes so slow sometimes, doesn't it? Thank you my friend. Wonderful post to me. I am encouraged and getting stronger as the days go by. Hope you are doing OK too.<P><B>schizzo</B><BR>Thank you for explaining withdrawal so well. It took me some time to acknowledge her feelings for this OM. After all, who wants to admit their spouse loves some else? Ugggh, it's still hard. I know what you mean though about just being there. She knows I am. We'll make it. Thank you.<P><B>jendan69</B><BR>Jenny! No you don't need to say anything else, I know exactly what you mean! Thank you!<P><B>bonnet</B><BR>Jo, I think finding the tunnel is the hardest part! I hope you get there. We all have different paths to traverse. That's the hard part. We are all going through the same thing, but we each take a different road. I saw your post today and responded. Hope your well. Thanks, for posting to me. <P><B>suse</B><BR>Hi suse! Gosh, haven't read a post from you in a while. I'm beginning to understand the depth of the hurt that my wife is experiencing. I know the days ahead will be rough. Your post was almost word for word what my counselor told me. He was a betrayed not a betrayer. I'm already seeing the initial stages of withdrawal and they are tough. I think she knows I'm ready to go the distance with her. I'm not expecting much in the way of my needs being met for a while. When I step back from my situation, the place I'm at now is so much better than 6 months ago. Small steps; one day at a time. One thing that hit me with what you said is that I should allow her to regain her sense of value to the marriage. For the past year, I have done nearly everything for the family. She withdrew from me and everything else. She is just now trying to help out again. She is starting to share in the chores again. So, I see what you mean. Thank you suse, I am happy you posted to me? I remember all the help you gave me a long time ago with my "can I cry on your shoulder post". It's nice to finally be emerging from the ashes. <P><B>professorg (Rob)</B><BR>Thank you Rob. Our God IS an awesome God! I know He still has big plans for me and my wife, so I'm trying to stay open to His will. Thanks.<P><B>Paul Moyers</B><BR>Hey Brother Paul! Thanks for popping in. Your prayers are always coveted my friend. Thank you for sharing in the joy. <P><B>NoTrust</B><BR> Thank you! Your encouragement is always welcomed. <P><B>jamie-lee</B><BR>Thank you for your prayers, you can never have enough of those.<P><B>To All</B><BR>I can't imagine how anyone could get through this alone. To have support from other s who have walked the walk is invaluable. I am finally encouraged about my future. I have grown tremendously through this and will continue to do so. I also know that this is just the beginning of some difficult times for my wife. Deep down I know she loves me. Finding that love and feeling safe to offer me her heart again will not be easy. I am now being the man that I promised her so long ago. I think things will be better for both of us. I don't want the same kind of marriage we had and I know my wife doesn't either - as Dazed once said I want a marriage with all the trimmings. Well, I finally know how to be a good husband. My family is first and I'm not looking back. Thank you.<P>SHA

Sir,<BR>very short,but I'll be back tomorrow. <BR>Just to tell you I was really happy both from reading your post and the way things are going, and from getting news from you.<BR>AS I always say... takes time, but we can do it. Withdrawl is a rough phase and not only she is feeling it, she is probably also feeling even worse for being "abandoned" by the ow. Which might have been another blow on her self esteem, even though it was a great thing.<BR>Be there for her when she needs it - as if I had to tell you this - but also let her heal by herself too.<BR>Hugs<BR>Kat

Sha,<P>I was afraid to open your post.... The title sounded scarey! I'm glad it wasn't as bad as it seems.<BR>You have grown so much over the last few months. Your wife needed you to grow so that you could help her get past this. If this would have happened 6 months ago, I'm not so sure you would have been strong enough to help her through it. All things work together, you know. In God's time.<P>God Bless<BR>tnt

SHA,<P>Hang on.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>