Victoria,<P>Well for a long time I really didn't want to see that he was probably an alcoholic. I knew his drinking habits when I met him, married him etc. but lately things have changed. He used to be a social drinker but now it is every day and binges from time to time. His personality has changed drastically and his health has been affected. He contributes this to the stress of our marriage and his affair or friendship whatever you want to call it. <P>He feels that his only stress relief is that can or bottle of beer. So I have come to the realization that he does fit the signs of an alcoholic. The OW is enabling him to drink and think it is ok. She will sit with him and drink with him in the bars till after closing. She tells him how bad his marriage must be that he feels like he does and he needs to get out. That the problems are his fault and he shouldn't feel guilty. <P>I am reading the book on Codependency and boy does it fit me to a tee. I am just not sure how to proceed.<P>I have an appointment with my lawyer on Wednesday. I had filed for divorce in September and the OW was delighted. Then I just put things on the back burner for awhile to see what would happen. Plan A etc. Not much has changed. I asked him point blank Friday night if he had had any contact with her recently and he said No not in over 2 weeks. Well it was a blatant lie. She called my house twice on Friday and actually came to see him at my house on Friday. I was devastated. I told him I wouldn't listen to anymore lies and left the bar. He didn't come home until the next day and she again called twice and said she was having chest pains and wanted him to come to her house. He did tell her he couldn't and didn't go there but she seems to be pushing more and more. <P>I love my H but I don't see where we are headed if he can't tell the truth since it is obviously already out in the open.. Like the book says I have to start taking care of myself and maybe continuing with the divorce is the only way. In the book they make the comment if your H is an alcoholic lies cheats etc and someone asks you why you stay and you respond by saying because I love him. It then asks, what is so lovable. I asked myself that question and right now I am not sure what is so lovable. I am beginning to hate him for the continued lies.<P>Sorry to ramble. Thanks for the continued support.