Bill,<P>Hugs and prayers to you.<P>I am glad to hear you are holding out. The tears I think are a good sign...she may be coming arounfd more than her words show. I think returning to plan B is probably best it will give her time to reflect on the things that you discussed.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{BILL}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

Bill,<BR>No advice to offer, just my prayers for you and your marriage.<P>Bob<BR>

Hey Bill,<P>Disappointments only come from high expectations. I've learned this the hard way and from you drilling it into my head as well You seem to be doing quite well. I'm happy you got to speak to Robin and get that off your chest. Now you can move on and continue your plan B. You are doing great. I've become somewhat of a lurker, hope to chat with you soon.<P>Prayers for you as always!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Hi Bill,<P>Nothing constructive to say. It appears that everyone else has given good comments & advice.<P>Just sending hugs & prayers your way...

Desiree,<BR>Yep I did it. I had my expectations met. No changes. As it standa I have not decided to get in another relationsip, though it does cross my mind. As far as teaching Robin, she didn't see how we could get back what we had, I simply shared MB principles. She did seem receptive.<P>Sam,<BR>You know my story well, I agree with everything you said except that she loves me. She doesn't and I can see that. Do I think she can recapture those feelings yes I do, but she doesn't want to.<P>Nicole,<BR>I don't think she's coming around. Her self-centered fear is holding her back. She is too weak and stubborn to change.<P>Bob,<BR>Thanks.<P>Jamie-Lee,<BR>The only expectation I had was to see her say what she tells others. I had that expectation met, I also expected no change.<P>NT,<BR>Thanks.<P>I haven't given up all hope for my marriage, I believe we could rebuild.<P>The way I see it is no matter what happens I survived her affair, moreover this is one of Dr.H's objectives. I can look back and know I did everything I could to save my marriage. I have no regrets. Should she decide to take the hard road then I'm still a winner.<P>I have to admit that my love for her and my respect for her are leaving. Plan-b gives me the ways and means to go through this without all of the pain and anger.<P>I am a survivor.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hey Bill,<P>Probably Plan B did't have much chance to be proven??? I mean, I don't want to be blunt, but the time you spent writing the letter was more than the duration of the "no contact" stated in Plan B.<P>Can't say more now. I've been sick for 5 days and still don't feel good.<P>God bless you, Bill.<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>

Alex,<BR>You are correct about the duration of plan-b, It has been 4 weeks. My main point is I don't think she is comming back. So I'm going to live my life accordingly. I still want her back but I don't know how long that will last. In 2 weeks it will be 6 months, I didn't think I would see 6 months since that is the case iy reaffirms my gut feelings.<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>My Brother...<P>I understand the need to talk with Robin...<BR>It is OK... even under Plan B...<BR>Clarification for both you and her is important since you don't want her to misconstrue your thoughts and ideas.<P>Now that it is done with...<BR>I'm gald you realize that <B>no contact</B> is the only course of action you have.<BR>Just like... my message to Tim's(Medic's) "I love you" post.<P>Your Plan B letter was just so wondeful...<BR>A <B>true</B> from the heart... love letter...<BR>If ever you or Robin need a point of clarification... both of you... <B>go back to that marvelous letter.</B><BR>If you ever feel an urge to "teach her"... <B>go back to that marvelous letter.</B><BR>If she ever calls you... ask her <B>go back to that marvelous letter.</B><P>The length of a Plan B (or Plan A) for that matter is a very personal thing...<BR>You give yourself as much time as you need.<P>I personally feel that 99 and 44/100% of the waywards will... in time... regret what they have done... (my W included)...<BR>...the problem is that some waywards realize instantly... others take a year or two...<BR>still others 5 or 10 years... and even others only on their death bed...<P>Does that mean that the joy of God is to be snuffed out of our lives?...<BR>Does that mean that another personal human relationship... much healthier in faith... should be ruled out?...<BR>Does that mean that another person should be denied your special gifts for really loving?...<BR>No... No... and emphatically No!<P>You can still care for Robin... even after your Plan B is finished... by praying for her. Praying she grows into the faith filled experience you have gone through in your pain and suffering. Praying she too will... through her growth (maybe even in MB principles) will eventually have the spirit to find a new person who could benefit from her own growth... and NO... it will not be her current OB.<P>It may sound like I'm anti-covenant... in marriage...<BR><B>I am not!</B><P>I am for the spiritual health of all who seek it... and there are many women (and men too) who are praying to God to find a partner willing to share God's life with them...<BR>When out waywards have long term plans to remain away... stay unrepentant... close their eyes to a faith filled love... <BR>...it is not for us to deny ourselves and our gifts to a new relationship.<P>Bill...<BR>You will know your own time table for a relationship...<BR>2 years... 2 months... 2 decades... whatever!<BR>Just make sure you talk to God about it...<BR>I know He's carried you some of the way so far... don't feel you've outgrown His "ideas"... don't run to fast from Him... stay as a child in His eys. You've been humbled by this experience for a long time... keep your humility in His spirit.<P>Your story and life has touch many...<BR>Keep sharing... keep posting... keep caring...<P>Much love to you my brother...<BR>Much care and happiness to Abbey...<P>I pray for you and Abbey... <BR>I'll continue to pray for Robin too... <BR>...a lost sheep ...to one day be found.<P>Jim

Jim,<BR>I've been waiting for your take on my actions Wednesday night. I'm glad you see the intentions of my actions. I have no idea what kind of time table I'm putting on this what I do know is my love and respect for her a getting to close to nil. I look forward to shareing what I have learned here with someone. I am a new man, and a survivor. I will remain steadfast in my faith and continue to seek God's will for me. I pray for Robin to live in his will but we both know that the good Lord gave us the freedom of choice in that matter and there isn't a thing we can do if our spouces choose to live outside of God's will, they ultimatly have to pay the tab.<P>I hate that this program lost ny post from this morning. It clarified a few things that might have been misconstrued in this thread.<P>I love you brother,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>