mrrlk,<P>Thanks for the list of books. I'll try to get a couple to start this weekend. <P>I've already decided to end my marriage. It's not healthy for me or my kids. It's just a matter of timing. I want to be a little more stable emotionally before I make a move that is going to affect the rest of my life. Well, I have made the first move.(having the papers drawn up). Now, I need to move toward that 2nd move.(signing and filing). It's a huge step for someone who left her parents at the age of 20 and never been on her own. Let alone with 3 kids to care for.<P>I'm just feeling a lot of pressure from so many people to "do the right thing". In other words, what they think they would do. I felt like a failure when my H left me and now I'm starting to feel like a failure because I'm not doing this fast enough. I feel like I have to apologize for not running to the lawyers office fast enough.<P>Maybe I'll feel better after some reading.

Mitzi-<P>Remember, you do not have to appologize for not doing what other people would expect you to do as you go through your process.<P>You are not a failure! You will get many suggestions and opinions from family and well intentioned friends. At the end of the the<BR>day...you have to chart a course that makes you happy...that you feel good about...that is the way you want it to be handled.<P>Always try to pick a couple of close friends to act as "Coaches" but more from the stand point of..."You can do it"...not..."You SHOULD do it my way!"<P>They can give you a good reality check every once in a while and also, that is what good friends are for!<P>Please get the Healing Journey book...it is very very helpful and forces you to look at yourself and the process as you proceed down your path.<P>Have a nice week-end and do something nice for yourself this week-end if you can.<P>mrrlk

mrrlk,<P>I'm feeling better today. But then again the weekend is just starting.<P>I have a cousin and my MIL who are very understanding. My MIL has been thru the same exact situation before.(with my H's father). And my cousin's H left her for 18 months. They are now together and trying to make things work. They have both told me that I need to go at my own pace. That's what I'm trying to do.<P>Thanks again,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>Don't tell me you have no job skills. You've run a household, know how to pay the bills and balance a checkbook. Schedule your time around others (your kids and other family members). Think of what a great manager you have been!!!!! Now, what do your enjoy doing? Is there a way to be with your children and working too - try the school district. I know you will find what it right for you. I heard a great quote on the radio the other day - to get the job you want, succeed at the one you have.......<BR>You can do this and succeed too!! I have. I was out of the job scene for 10 years, but had to get back into it and have made myself proud of me!! You have time yet to decide.

RC,<P>Thanks for the pep talk! I have had 3 job offers. I just haven't decided which one I want, if any. It just aggravates me that I got to stay home with my 2 older kids and now I won't be able to do the same with my youngest. I'd love to be able to not work until he goes to school. It's unfair to him!<P>Oh well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do!!!<P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

Good morning you!!<P>Well, here I sit on another weekend. I think I need a pep talk too but I can't post about it anymore here as my H reads everything, then tries to tell me how terrible I am. I'll keep reading your posts tho

Mitzi, I agree with those who say "take your time." But I do understand how easy it is to keep putting off making important decisions. Don't do that, either - if you feel that is what you are doing, you may need to force yourself to take the final steps in your new journey. The bottom line is that you need to be true to yourself. If you are REALLY "true" to yourself (and not all FOR yourself, as many betrayers seem to think being true to yourself means) your children will be ok.<P>The right thing for some is waiting in Plan A (like me) for the entire recommended 2 years, and the right thing for others is getting out. The rest of us are somewhere in between - and none of us is any more wrong or right than the rest. How's that for clarity?<P>You do what you need to do - don't pay attention to anyone else. Even me. <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>