Anster:<BR>sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. I appreciate your comments. That is exactly what my girlfriend tells me to do. However, I feel that there are some underlying issues that need to be addressed before I actually go through with kicking him out.<P>We had a great discussion last night - the first one that didn't involve a lot of tears on my part. Actually, I felt that progress had been made in a lot of areas, one being adultery. We looked at a lot of scriptures from the Bible - thank you NSR!<P>We also discovered a lot of scriptures involving polygamy being okay and actually practiced by many holy men. However, that topic was theoretical only, and not something that can be followed through in today's society.<P>Anyway, I was able to approach the subject of his likely depression and behavior problems. He knows he is depressed and feels "dead inside". I suggest he seek help, but he doesn't think he can be helped - that he is too far gone. Of course I told him that he is only 39 and far from being hopeless. He has two small children and a loving wife to think about also. The fact that we could talk about it gave me some hope that maybe he could eventually discuss his feelings with a licensed professional. I really feel that if he did, the problems in our marriage could be solved quickly. Right now I have been looking up counselors and psychiatrists on the web in my area. There are like a gazilian of them!! But I can't find any information out there that can tell you who has the best credentials, track record, etc. so I can find the best doctor for him. <P>Would you or anybody know how I can obtain some detailed information on the counselors in my area, so I can choose the best doctor for my H. I'm afraid if I send him to anybody and the guy is a quack, my H will never go back or see anyone else.

toots_007,<P>I'd say start a new post on this topic...<BR>"How To Find A Good Counselor...<B>close to home</B>..."<P>Many people can benefit from the insight of others on this topic!<P>In the mean time... I'd suggest you read the MB article on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7100_counselor.html" TARGET=_blank>How To Find A Good Marriage Counselor</A>.<P>If you can e-mail or call counselors/therapists/etc. make sure they follow MB type principles... i.e. build marriages... instead of "feel good" practices!<P> <P>Jim

Jim:<BR>You have been such a calming force for me! Thank you for your insights. I will post a new topic and see what happens. <BR>Thanks!