FA --<P>Don't worry. I chickened out since the situation didn't present itself for me to ask the question. Maybe this weekend... I don't know. I'm feeling conflicted, confused, and wanting some answers.<P>How are you? Did the results from the doc come back yet? Does the cyst need to be removed or what?<P>THINK POSITIVE!<P>--keystone

FA --<P>We must have been posting at the same time, since your last post wasn't there when I started my reply.<P>I'm glad your doc is suggesting that it's nothing to worry about. Easier said than done, I'm sure, but try to take his advice. Maybe you can pursuade them to try to open up another time so you can get the biopsy done sooner. I'm sure you're probably thinking along those lines, anyway.<P>Do your D's know the outcome from today, yet? Again, I know you'll keep it positive.<P>Re; Your H. Wow. What can I say. The discovery from the computer could not have been fun. I remember when I found e-mails betwen my W and the OM. It took alot from me not to go into a total rage! You're stronger than I am.<P>On one hand, not confronting him and causing a LB seems good. Stupid idea, but would contacting Harley be of any use? In my personal case, I won't because I want somebody live and in person. But perhaps the distance may allow for you to sound out your discovery and seek some guidance on how to deal with it all, yet still remain somewhat anonamous (sp?).<P>I can understand why no smiles. Keep painting, or do something that will keep you occupied until you can sort it out. It may be a salvation of sorts.<P>I'll check back later today. I'll be offline this weekend. If I don't hear from you before the weekend, PLEASE keep your wits about you. Don't give into the temptation of it all and "lose it". You may say or do something that you won't be able to take back.<P>--keystone

keystone,<P>Ok I did crack a smile here even though I have a major headache right now. So you chickened out! Thats ok too! I know those feelings of conflict, confusion and needing the answers all too well. <P>All along I was coming here to prevent myself from doing something stupid and because I felt very violated by being accused of doing something I hadn't done. (Remember the old HS friend started 10 months after the accusations.) <P>Now I'm really wondering if what people had told me when I first came here is true. They told me that someone who accuses is usually guilty themselves(not saying all). I am now really wondering as more of these things are popping up in my life. <P>It took everything I had in me tonight when H came home for dinner to keep my mouth shut about what I found. I think its a good thing he had to work tonight, because I am not in the right frame of mind to deal with him tonight. <P>The discovery was a total shock. I knew he was searching something else too, because when I came in from my walk last night he said oh great I look up something and I click and get a porn site. Well that was a half hour after he was in another site (while I was gone and on my walk and the girls were outside). I know what time I came in from the walk so thats how I traced that one down. <P>Enough of that before I get really stressed. <P>As far as my D's knowing the latest about me. All D#1 knows is I have to go for more tests. I tried not to discuss it around her. D#2 has been busy with after school chorus, hockey and is getting ready for a community dance tonight, so shes been to busy to notice anything. When the time comes I'll just let her know that the Dr wants more tests done and thats just how it goes, but theres nothing to worry about. <P>I really wish the appt. would have been sooner for the one test. I'm still waiting to hear who is going to handle making the needle biopsy test appt(insurance issues!). I just want the tests done with so I know what I'm dealing with. The specialist was surprised that the Primary Dr didn't order these tests in the first place. <P>Taking a break from painting today! LOL I have to much driving D#2 around to be painting. I'll go back to it tomorrow. <P>Then tomorrow is my night! Finally, first time in about 14 years(other than my reunion I went to in Oct.)that I will go out. The married girlfriend I walk with and I are going out to a Chinese Auction/Dinner our kids Elementary School is having at a nice banquet hall. It should be fun!<P>I'll just have to keep myself really busy so I don't lose it this weekend with him. Good luck getting some answers if you decide to go for it this weekend. <P>I think positive vibes better be around for both of us this weekend! <P>falsely accused<BR>

FA -- <P>Look for a new thread. I'll give you an update later this morning.<P>--keystone