Dear Actus Reus, <P>I'm a middle aged woman, married to a man involved in a several years-long EA with a female young enough to be my daughter. I'm responding to another post of yours, but on this thread, because I can't find the other post. The thing that caught my eye was that your anger got the better of you and you beat the snot out of the OM and his buddy. Sorry you got a battery charge against you. Maybe it's my own primitive lack of evolution and a case of arrested social and moral development, but I wanted to cheer! Cro Magnon indeed! You acted like a passionate young man, a cave man, yes, but a man who loves his wife and set out the boundaries, and a rogue wolf dared to cross them. (Excuse the metaphors - )<P>Now here's the important thing: Once is understandable. (I myself daydream about performing a little bare hands surgery, removing vital organ or two, fantasies that are too scarey to reveal to a shrink) but restraint is necessary, in order to preserve and cherish what you most love. This is your big chance, don't blow it.<P> Don't direct that anger energy toward your wife. From what you write, that woman LOVES you. Seize the opportunity to get into counseling, read and practice Plan A, come here to vent. Use the energy WITH her, not ON her. You and she have a chance, I feel it!<P>Good luck to you, your wife and baby. You don't realize the gift you have, getting this opportunity while you still love each other.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

I want to thank Actus for posting the question. Although my situation is completely different, I too have been contemplating an EA. Everyone who answered talked me out of it.

Nevermind... sheesh.... <p>[This message has been edited by Lacee (edited May 01, 2000).]

Actus:<P>Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you say in another thread that you had already decided against a retaliatory affair?<P>Folks, I think Actus has already made up his mind here.<P>Thanks. --HBC