I am trying to feel better about things knowing that someone is watching out for me and what happens happens. <P>A letter from my H's lawyer was in the mail yesterday. I left it on the kitchen table last night and when I got up this morning my H had opened it and read it. It was asking for the third time for his net worth statement and it said he MUST fill it out and give it to his lawyer. Well my H didn't even say anything to me about it and what it had said. I also didn't say "there's a letter from your lawyer" I just left it where he would find it. I am not sure what his response will be to the request.<P>It is so hard not to say anything about the state of our marriage or his affair or the OW. He was asking me the phone number of our one friends this morning (it is unlisted) and he also wrote down a few other numbers from our address book. He said he had to call them today to talk about the race car. What else. So hearing this he must be using the cellphone that the OW gave him but no I didn't ask or say a thing. I bet she will die when she gets the bill because where he is working I think is in the roaming area and it is $.59 a minute not included in their family plan free minutes. But the bill isn't my problem so let him talk forever.<P>I am trying to think of things to do this weekend that I can do by myself and although I would really like to go to the races it may not be such a good idea. I would most likely come in contact with the OW and right now I feel like giving her a piece of my mind.

Hi BC -<P>Forget the races....you need ALL the pieces of your mind to get through this and cannot be giving them away to OW, H or anyone else!! LOL!!<P>You are sounding very good, do you feel that you have gained some strength? Well, you have....and you will keep gaining and gaining it!!!! <P>Except for the last post here (bad girl!! Scold....Scold LOL!!!) where you went on one of those H/OW tangents of yours.....you are sounding more focused on the important stuff......keep that up!!!!!<P>Glad that you're counselor reinforced what we try to tell you about how it is YOUR actions that will change the way you and H interact!!!!<P>Just the simple things you have done so far....the moving of clothes, toiletries, etc.....the going to Alanon....the stopping of your usual reactions to his behavior....all these things do effect him. And they were not hard to do either, were they? <P>If you think about it, you have probably seen more differences resulting from these than all the months of ranting, crying, asking, talking, blah...blah!!!<P>Right?<P>So, this is what you continue....you keep building yourself up in strength!!<BR>You keep on separating BC from the evil clone of H.....you keep a mental picture of the REAL H you know!!! This guy there with you now is NOT HIM!!!!<P>He can be again someday.....that's up to him and God. You however, have to be your old strong self when that time comes so you can help him.<P>Glad that your health is improving somewhat....you need to make sure you are doing whatever you need to do to maintain that.<P>Have you started any of the things I suggested you start doing for yourself everyday? I hope so!!! They will help you, I promise!!!!<P>So, what else can you do this weekend? Don't get caught up in the "races" thinking either.....I am sure that you used to like other things just as much!!<BR>Let your head detach from being Mrs....! and remember who BC used to be and like.<P>What interests do/did she have? This is a great time to start on that certain something that she always wanted to do or learn or try......<P>Get going with it!!!!!<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba<P>PS - Hi NT.....I was lurking, you were on the roll this week!!!! LOL!!! Thanks for the kind words and right back at ya!!!